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hi everybody! well im always depressed i accually almost commited suicide a couple of days ago i quit i cut the line, if you get what i mean… i dont wanna leave my friends and family everbody describes me as a happy person… its all fake im never happy i just try to be for everyone elese someone get me out of this rut...!? i have a great life i dont understand why im so depressed maybe im missing somthing im not sure…
Gotchalk8 has their heart in the right place, but telling people that wanting help means you don't have depression is downright dangerous and very untrue. There is a reason why 'not wanting/asking for help' is not listed as a symptom of depression.
I've had the diagnosis of recurrent clinical depression for several years now, and before I started getting treatment I was desperate for some way out of that horrible darkness, even if it meant killing myself. I was afraid to get help, but that didn't mean I didn't want it. Eventually I did get help, but only after I accidentally revealed everything to my family and they convinced me to see a therapist. It's one of the best things they've ever done for me, and at this point I've learned how to speak up for myself. Now I can tell others when I'm feeling bad, rather than hiding and trying to suffer through it alone.
You do sound like you have clinical depression, and that isn't something you should try to deal with on your own, especially since you just attempted suicide. WebMD has a pretty good list of symptoms that you can look at to see if what you're feeling sounds like depression, but from what you've said it seems pretty clear. Here's the list:
http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/detecting-depression
Although depression is sometimes related to things that happened in your life, there are times when it is purely biological. You could have all the best things happening to you and still be depressed because the problem is in your body. You have no reason to feel guilty just because you have 'no reason to be depressed'. You don't need a reason to be depressed any more than you need a reason to get cancer. It happens sometimes, and when it does we can't control it. But getting help can mean the difference between beating it and dying from it.
From what you've said, it seems like you're in a really bad place right now emotionally. It's nothing to be ashamed of, but you need to ask someone around you for help. Do you have a friend you think would understand, or a parent you trust? If you're still in school, going to your school counselor might be one of your best options. Tell them how you're feeling, tell them you need help, and ask them if they can help you talk to your parents. The school counselor could set up an appointment for all of you to talk about it together.
If you start to feel suicidal again and still can't talk to anyone you know, there is a 24 hour online crisis network for people in situations like yours. The trained volunteers there can help walk you through what you're feeling and find alternatives to suicide. It's called IMAlive, and it's basically like a suicide hotline, but you never have to pick up a phone; everything is done through instant messages. If you need someone to talk to, they are there for you at any time of the day or night. Seriously, please at least talk to someone before attempting suicide again. Here is the link:
https://www.imalive.org/
Things will get better for you, although it may be a long process with plenty of rough patches left. But having dealt with it for several years now, I can say that I'm happy I didn't commit suicide. Right now I am happy with my life, and I've had some great experiences that I would have missed if I'd killed myself. I can even enjoy those great experiences when they happen! It's not impossible for you to get there, too. You will; you just have to keep going. But I really do urge you to ask for help, because there's no way I'd still be here if I kept dealing with it alone, and I don't want you to die in silence like I almost did.
So keep going, get help, and remember that it will most definitely get better someday. And if suffering until that day comes seems too painful, remember that your friends and family would love to help you if they knew you needed it, and it would tear them apart to lose you. You are loved, you are appreciated, and you are needed. Don't ever forget that.
We just called most of our local vets, and hey said don't bother till tomorrow. But my cat is walking unstable, and he is drooling everywhere, and he acts as though he has to regurgitate. But nothing comes out just bubbles, i am worried crying. Stroke maybe? His pupils are also not the same in size.
To put it bluntly, your local vets sound like idiots. All the symptoms you listed are potential signs of poisoning. And if your cat did eat something toxic/poisonous, getting treatment as soon as possible can be the difference between life and death. If your cat is still sick and you are unsure what to do, call a 24 hour emergency vet and take your cat in RIGHT AWAY. If you are in or around a big city, you may be able to search for 24 hour vets online. Otherwise, you might have to go through the phone book. But don't wait. Do it ASAP. It may already be too late, but it still needs to be done right away.
Also, here are a few pages with info on symptoms of poisoning in cats:
http://www.vetinfo.com/cat-poisoning-symptoms.html
http://animals.howstuffworks.com/pets/how-to-treat-a-poisoned-cat.htm
I do hope your cat gets better. I just can't stand the fact that your local vets told you to wait. My local vet was willing to come in after hours when our dog vomited red. It turned out to just be red kibble rather than blood, but there are some symptoms that should always be treated as an emergency until the vet personally examines them and says otherwise.
How do i get over cleaning? I do it so much. Fucking help me.
How bad of a problem is this for you? You don't have to answer me, but think about it. Do you spend hours out of your day cleaning, or thinking about cleaning? Does it feel like your excessive cleaning is out of your control?
If this is a major problem for you, and it sounds like it is, you could have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. People with OCD typically find themselves stuck thinking about the same things over and over again, and feel compelled to do certain activities over and over. They usually realize it's not logical; after all, the bathtub or sink or carpet is probably spotless by the third time they've cleaned it. But they still can't stop.
Maybe you don't have OCD, but it is something that you should look into. Being stuck doing the same thing for hours out of every day can ruin your life, and it's not something the average person understands very well. Maybe other people can pick up a new hobby or go hang out with friends to take their mind off cleaning, but with OCD that wouldn't work. It's not that you have nothing else to do. Rather, it's that you are mentally and physically unable to do something else.
This website has a lot of good information on OCD, and the specific page I'm linking to describes common obsessions and compulsions:
http://www.ocfoundation.org/O_C.aspx
Hopefully that can help you figure out whether you might have OCD or if you problem is something entirely different. If you feel like your excessive cleaning qualifies as a compulsion, you should consider talking to a therapist/psychiatrist or at least reading up on OCD. It really isn't something that you can control on your own, but knowing what's wrong is the first step to overcoming it.
Do condoms always work? can they rip?
There is always a chance that condoms will fail, although there are things you can do to maximize their effectiveness. Store the condom in a place where it wont be bent or exposed to extreme temperatures, make sure it hasn't expired, and make sure you put it on and take it off properly. But yeah, they can still rip.
I don't know whether SadieMarie was trying to tell you to use two condoms, or if 'double strap' means something else. But NEVER, EVER use two condoms at once. They will rub against each other, and the friction could cause a rip. So it's actually safer to use one rather than two.
If you want extra protection from pregnancy in addition to a condom, you can use a spermicide at the same time. Just be sure to follow the directions on the packaging.
18/female
Okay so i really dont know what i am asking so i'll just lay it all out then you can respond.
This whole thing is about cutting. when i was younger like 14-16 i was addicted to it. I'm 18 now and in a completely different place in my life, however i've recently been getting the urge to do it again. i dont know why. i'm known as extremely happy and bubbly and am not depressed in the slightest. i have the average stresses as a senior who is trying to get into college but thats mainly it. but when i get urges and want to do it i hate myself for it, i feel crazy, stupid and disgusted with myself because thats not who i am and its weird to want to physically hurt myself and i dont feel like myself.i cant tell anyone because i'm too ashamed to speak about it, even to my best friend who knows first hand about it. after 2 years of not doing it, i dont know why its randomly coming back. So i guess i want to know how to deal with this.
thanks for the help!!
I'm in basically the same situation. The first time I self-harmed I was 12 and I got really addicted to it in high school. Now I'm 19 and haven't done it in...6 months? Something like that.
For me, the urges come and go, and it isn't necessarily connected to mood. It's like with any addiction. Even if you break out of the actual cutting, the urges will randomly come back no matter how long it's been since you last acted on your desires. They're probably imprinted into your brain somewhere. There is nothing you can do to make them go away completely.
But even though you can't get rid of the impulses, you can decide what to do with them. At this point, the urges are weak enough to resist. If you do start cutting again, you will almost certainly become addicted again. So the most important thing here is not to give in.
There are things you can do to make it easier to resist. Like a recovered alcoholic, you should avoid the source of your addiction whenever possible. Do not keep convenient items for cutting, like pocket knives or naked razor blades. Don't go looking for them, and get rid of them if you have them. Obviously you can't avoid all sharp objects, but by making it harder to get to them you will help yourself resist.
Also, distract yourself when you feel yourself wanting to cut. If you are sitting alone with your thoughts and no distractions, you're more likely to act on them. So go running, try reading a book, even color pages in a coloring book. You could even keep a box full of distractions handy for when you feel the urge. One thing I particularly like is painting on myself. I got some washable kid's tempura paint, and when I feel like cutting I paint words on my arms. It lets me express what I am thinking and feeling in a way that washes off when I'm done. If you decide to try this, I suggest you avoid red paint; I find red paint to be really triggering.
Also, if you think your friend will understand you should let him/her know that you are struggling. Your friend can help you, even if all they do is offer to hang out with you when you're afraid to be alone. There is no shame in asking for help.
If you want more information on self-injury and ways of coping with/resisting it, here are two good websites to visit:
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/
http://www.palace.net/llama/psych/injury.html
Good luck with this. It can be really, really hard to resist, and a lot of people don't understand how much of an addiction cutting really is. But we are all stronger than we give ourselves credit for. You can do this, I know you can. Sometimes you might slip, and that's ok; no one is perfect. But you have already gone two years without it, and that is something to be extremely proud of! I have never gone such a long time without cutting since I started. You are an amazing person, and you are much stronger than you realize. So keep moving forward. Keep resisting. And don't let yourself give up.
Why is my teacher such a douchebag? He's usually cool but he's been a real bitch lately. Before break he got mad because we were laughing. He gave us a project but didn't explain ANY of it. On Monday, only the students who never talk did it. I'm wondering how the hell they knew about it. Then today my friend was throwing stuff at me, so I pickup up the pen cap he threw at me & shot it to the garbage can, then my teacher kicks me out & gives me a pass to the gym. WTF? Meanwhile people eat & use their phones in class. Wh don't they get kicked and given a pass to the cafeteria or Radioshack? And of course I'm going to fail any quiz/test that covers what I missed that day. So now I'm going to be a smartass in his class, and I could care less about the work. I feel like putting a tampon in his mailbox. I only have like 4 teachers who aren't annoying douchebags. WTH should I do? I was thinking about changing my schedule but err...
Teachers aren't just for talking at you in class. If you don't understand a project or want to catch up on missed work, try asking. Just walk up after class and say, "Hey, I didn't understand ____, could you help?" And if they bitch at you for wanting notes like college professors do, you ask a neighbor and copy their notes.
Honestly, who knows why he's acting irritable. Maybe he's in the middle of a messy divorce. Maybe he hasn't been getting much sleep lately. Maybe his kids are fighting with him. My point is that he does have a life outside of school, and a million and one things could happen in that life to alter his mood. If it really bothers you, ask him about (nicely and politely) about it.
Though, to me, it sounds as though very few of his student respect him enough to pay attention. Eating, using phones, talking/laughing in class, throwing things (even at the trash)...all of these are marks of disrespect. I don't know why he scolds you but ignores the others. Maybe he's given up on them. If half the class is misbehaving every day, what's he supposed to do? Kick them all out?
Being in your class does sound like a horrible experience, but not because of the teacher. I've been in classes where 90 percent of my classmates misbehaved. The teachers all turned into angry Hulk-nerds due to pent-up rage. It sucked when the teachers took it out on everybody, but I generally felt more like sticking tampons in my classmates' mailboxes than my teacher's. Just think about it... How would you feel in his place, if you were trying to teach students and half of them were texting and eating shit and talking to each other?
24/f, my boyfriend is 23/m.
Please don't think I'm ungrateful, it's just that I'm... not used to being treated well, or being appreciated.
I've been in two abusive relationships, one right after the other. My last ex liked to buy me things out of the blue, but somehow always held it against me (e.g. "I got you [blank] and you didn't [blank]! How could you be so ungrateful?"). The guy before him never gave me anything without getting or wanting something in return.
My current boyfriend is beyond wonderful. He somehow treats me like a princess and an equal; we don't play mind games with one another, and I really trust him, which is surprising, given my history. He loves to get me little things to make me smile. For instance, he picked up on me feeling kinda down one day, so he showed up after work with a stuffed animal, saying he thought I could use a fuzzy pick-me-up. I know, "why the heck would anyone complain about that?" But that's part of my confusion...
I feel so... strange about taking presents from him. He talks about all these things he wants to give me, and it's sweet, but it's not practical.
It also frustrates me a little, because while he's living with his parents, working part time, and able to spend his money however he likes, I'm living on my own; I have a cat to take care of, I'm working full time, have medical problems, and can barely pay my own bills. There's so much I want to do for him; so much I want to give him, but I can't. He understands perfectly, so far, but I guess I'm a little afraid he'll start holding it against me, or something.
I haven't mentioned any of this to him yet... I'm not really sure if I should, or how to do so.
What should I do about this? Should I even do/say anything? Or is it time for me to shut up and enjoy a healthy, happy relationship? Is this part of a healthy relationship? After my ridiculous past and boyfriends from hell, I'm not sure I know anymore.
Help a girl out? :)
You really need to talk to him about this. It's totally understandable for you to feel uncomfortable receiving gifts, especially since your exes only did it to have good deeds to lord over you when they wanted something. Just sit down with him and tell him a little about your exes and how they used gifts to guilt you into doing things, and how even though you know he's better than that, you can't leave the worry behind. From what you've said of him, it sounds like he would totally understand. And even if it confuses him a little, letting him know is hardly going to destroy your relationship.
I'm sure you can find a compromise between his habit of gifting you and your discomfort. Would it help if he gave you things with no monetary value, like a sweet letter or flowers he picked himself? That may sound dorky, but they're just examples.
Anyway, talk to him about it. Talking about things that bother you and flaws in the relationship are part of what makes a "healthy, happy relationship". Keeping quiet when you're unhappy/uncomfortable with something is one of the things that destroys good relationships. Maybe your exes didn't care to hear it, but you've clearly stated that those were not healthy relationships. It's probably really daunting to think about discussing this with him, but it is important, both to help you heal from your last relationships and to make sure he knows how you feel.
I'm a 13 year old girl, and I've been dating my boyfriend for about a month and a half. I've known him since kindergarten, and he's usually a pretty upbeat, positive person.
Lately he's been acting rather down. I know he's been having some hard times with his family, but I didn't realize how bad it was affecting him.
He often discusses things like how no one would miss him if he died; theroies on how he thinks he's going to die.
I just need to know what I should do. Do I inform anyone of this? Does this make him suicidal? What can I do to help him?
A lot of people mistake depression for teenage hormones; it isn't right to make that assumption and it keeps a lot of teens from getting the help they need. If your boyfriend has had symptoms of depression for more than two weeks straight, he probably has clinical depression. I highly doubt he's constantly faking being down just to get attention from you. It isn't a phase and it's very serious, even if you are 'only thirteen' as many people will say. Depression can be serious at any age. Here is some info the symptoms:
http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/detecting-depression
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression/DS00175/DSECTION=symptoms
I would suggest that you read up a little on depression, how to support friends going through depression, warning signs of suicide...that kind of thing. Knowledge is power and it's easy to find on the Internet. You can't diagnose him with depression and neither can I, because neither of us are doctors. Still, knowing these things will help you know what may be happening to him and how to help.
Making comments like, "No one would notice if I died/disappeared" or bringing up his own death unusually often are signs of suicide. That doesn't mean he's in imminent danger of hurting himself, but it is a HUGE red flag. He is definitely thinking about it. Always take signs of suicide seriously. So many people have committed suicide after family and friends brushed them off as attention-seekers, and that shouldn't have to happen.
You need to talk to him about this. Try not to be confrontational or accusing. Don't treat him like he's done something wrong or ask things like, "How could you do this to me? Why would anyone act like this?" Don't give him a speech about going to Hell (we've all heard that before), and don't yell or threaten to break up with him if he doesn't get better. If he is truly depressed, then he doesn't have much control over his emotions. DO be sincere, compassionate, and non-judgmental. He needs to talk to a friend about this, not a second mother.
If it's easier, talk to him online. When I was younger I found it much easier to talk about sensitive subjects through messages than face-to-face. But if things get worse and he wont open up online, you may have to sit him down and talk to him. It's important that he knows you care, that you would be torn apart if he died. And it's important that you help him get help.
Your best bet would be to talk to a school counselor. Tell them that you're worried about your boyfriend, that you've known him for years and he's been acting pretty depressed for the past few weeks, different from how he usually acts. I wouldn't mention the hints of suicide he's given you yet, because that will definitely be reported to his parents and stir up a major pot of trouble. The depression might be reported to them anyway, but that alone will be enough to take on without the extra suicide concern (for now). It'd be best to ease him into getting help, rather than just surprising him and forcing it on him. Talk to him about it first. Talk to him about what he's feeling, and tell him you want to help him. Be sure to tell him before you go to a school counselor, and try to get him to agree with it. If he gets into the counselor's office and just fakes it and acts totally fine, they wont be able to help him at all.
If he gives you a signal that he's about to attempt suicide (like a weird text that just says, "Goodbye" or "I'm sorry") you need to do whatever is necessary to stop him. Call 911 if you know where he is, call his parents, talk to a teacher: whatever is necessary. He may hate you for calling 911 or telling his parents at first, but he will be thankful in the long run. And even if he's angry, he will still be alive.
I suffered from depression a lot through my teenage years (starting around age 13), and as someone who was on the depressed side of the friendship/relationship, I will tell you this: your understanding and support is vital, but 'fixing' him should not be your burden alone to carry. Depression needs real medical treatment through medication and/or therapy that you can't provide, and there may not be much you can do if his family doesn't understand. These are things you can't give him or fix for him.
Also, and this is most important: anyone who is ill plays a role in their recovery. Whether it's as small as taking a pill in the morning or going back to your doctor when you're supposed to, there are responsibilities that only the sick person can take on. Depending on how bad things get for him, your boyfriend may not be able to do much for himself or see any hope at all, but he can't sit still and expect his friends and family heal him. He needs to be aware that no one person or thing can fix him, and all the help in the world wont work if he doesn't cooperate. He has to open up to counselors and he has to tell someone when he needs help.
You should not try to be his sole source of support. It wouldn't be fair to either of you, and it would make you feel guilt you don't deserve to feel if he didn't get better. I think Kittenlover2000 was being horribly cold to tell you to drop him because he's going through a period of depression, but you also can't let his problems take over your life. Support him, encourage him, love him, but don't let him put your own life on hold. I say this because I feel like my depression swallowed up some of my best friend's life, and I want people like her to understand the line they walk. Support is good; giving up everything to be there 24/7 is not so good.
i don,t understand this at all i need help because i,m getting mix up ,i really don,t understand advantages or disadvantages of changing a government thought a armed revolution please help!
I haven't studied this in ages, but here is just what I think of off of the top of my head:
An advantage would be that it allows the majority to pull themselves out of a dictatorship or other bad situation. Like how the American colonies fought against the British to gain their independence because they felt they were being taken advantage of and not given the respect due to them ("no taxation without representation").
A disadvantage would be that it could put the wrong people into power (like a heavily armed and trained extremist group). It could also destabilize the country, harming the economy and tourism, and making the country more vulnerable to armed revolts in the future. It could also be unnecessarily violent and kill many innocents in the process; one good example of this is the French Revolution.
If you want more ideas try searching for advantages and disadvantages of an armed revolution through a search engine.
Is their something wrong with me because i have small boobs? What does that mean?
Sometimes it's inherited. Do the women of your family mostly have small boobs? And if you are still young (under 19, but especially 12-16), you may not have finished developing yet. Some girls are sticks until the age of 16, but then suddenly grow much bigger breasts. And it isn't always proportioned to your body size. I know small, thin girls with large breasts and very tall girls with almost no breasts at all. It's more genetics, diet choices, and hormones that affect it, although science hasn't figured out the specifics yet.
If you are in your mid to late teens and are really concerned about it, you could always talk to a doctor. Certain hormonal problems like hypothryoidism can keep you from fully developing. Just talk to your doctor next time you visit, and if you are a teen just ask your mom/dad to wait outside the exam room. Your doctor wont mention your concerns to your parents if you tell them not to.
It is also possible and totally natural for a healthy woman to have small boobs. A lot of women do, and some cultures consider them more attractive than large boobs. Even the cultures that typically value larger breasts have plenty of men who prefer smaller ones. So don't worry so much! If the doctor says you're healthy, then you have no reason to fret. Some girls in high school may tease you about it, but outside of high school it doesn't really matter.
My pc has been acting strange lately, sometimes it takes about five miniutes to turn on once I enter my accout password, then when I turn it on I am used to getting a screen pop up that says "unable to establish a wireless connection" but it has popped up 59 times before. Its slow, and just doesn't act right.The memory on the hard drive is alot more full than it was a month ago. I use norton and avast and norton tells me I have 72 threats found and my perfomance is poor. Do I have a virus and how do I fix it. If I don't have a virus how do I remove those 'threats' and get my laptop back to normal? thank you for your time.
There is definitely something wrong with your computer. 72 threats? Did neither of those programs offer a way to remove/quarantine the threats, or were you afraid to damage the computer more? Sometimes there are false positives and the 'threat' is something vital, so I wouldn't blame you for being paranoid.
I think that, with your level of computer knowledge, you might be best off taking your computer to a professional. Some stores like Office Max offer cheap or free computer checkups; they could tell you a bit more about what is wrong. They can also fix most problems, for a price. They aren't always trustworthy, so if something they says sounds suspicious, don't be afraid to get a second opinion. It's like going to the doctor: get a second opinion if you don't trust the diagnosis. But if you aren't confident in your ability to fix your computer, it's better to pay someone else than risk making things worse.
There's one question I must ask: do you have a firewall? In a nutshell, a firewall helps control traffic to and from your computer. It helps keep out unwanted things and helps you keep private information from getting out. If you don't have a firewall or it isn't working properly, strangers could steal your information or plant malicious software without you knowing. If you already have those dangerous programs in your computer, they could damage your firewall's ability to protect you.
I've never heard anyone recommend Microsoft's antivirus software before. I've never tried it so I wont dismiss Zane, but there are a lot of sites that test antivirus programs and compare them. PCMag has one example of this: http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2372364,00.asp
But in addition to the programs you have, I wholeheartedly recommend Malwarebytes. It can catch things like spyware and adware that typical antivirus programs miss (but you should definitely keep an antivirus program because Malwarebytes doesn't catch those as effectively). It is free, trustworthy, and very effective for the things it is designed to catch. You can download it here:
http://www.malwarebytes.org/
Also, install Piriform's CCleaner:
http://www.piriform.com/ccleaner
You can use it to get rid of unwanted programs (like AOL or the unwanted stuff installed on all new computers) and to clean out temporary internet files, cookies, and other unnecessary things taking up space. Cleaning out your temporary internet files, cache, and old cookies could really speed up your computer. CCleaner is also free and trustworthy (I've had it for years). Just don't try messing with the registry or anything marked for advanced users until you feel comfortable with it: removing the wrong thing could royally screw up your computer. But anything in the temporary internet files and cache is safe to remove.
A system restore could help, depending on when your problem started and how deep the problem goes. Some viruses can totally evade a system restore, and if the problems started months or years ago then a restore might not be an option. I would at least talk to a computer technician of some kind before restoring to a significantly older date.
Be sure to back up your most important files on a hard drive or at least a flash drive. If your computer gets worse or the only way to fix it is a full reinstall of your operating system, you will want to have things like family photos and personal writing backed up.
Also, you need to figure out how all these things are getting into your computer and plug the hole, so to speak. Do you use Internet Explorer? IE is notorious for its poor security. Do you have anything to warn you away from dangerous websites? Do you ever click on pop-ups or visit porn sites? I use Firefox with Adblock Plus and Web of Trust add-ons. Adblock hides about 97 percent of all advertisements, so I'm in no danger of clicking them by accident. Web of Trust shows a green, yellow, or red circle next to a link to show how trustworthy the site is; it also stops me with a warning before I visit any 'red' site. This is one of the best and easiest ways to protect yourself: avoid untrustworthy websites whenever possible.
Even if your main issue is poor performance, you need to fix this as soon as possible. You could have spyware on your computer passing your personal information to strangers. If you have tax records or buy things online, it's especially important to ensure your privacy. Like I said before, if in doubt take your computer to a professional.
I'm sorry if I've written something that was already common knowledge to you, but I wanted to include them in case you didn't know. Good luck fixing your computer!
I'm 13 and I'm going through a really tough time right now. Sometimes i think about cutting myself, but every time i go to cut myself I get scared and stop. I will take a super sharp pencil and dig it into my wrist but the marks don't stay long enough to make me feel better, so my question is, what do I do to either get over my fear of cutting or get rid of the thought altogether?
You need to quit while you still have that fear, as soon as possible.
I used to cut. I had an on-and-off addiction for years and I'm sure it will come back in the future. I have permanent, ugly scars. I can no longer wear certain articles of clothing (like shorts) because then people will see the scarring, and when they see those scars they will judge me. The relief I got from cutting myself will never be worth it, and I wish I'd never started in the first place. But at this point, I've done it so often that it's usually not a choice anymore. You need to stop before you get there.
There are a few common methods that people use to stop. One is putting a rubber band on your wrist and snapping it until the urge to cut goes away. Another is to do something to distract yourself, like color in a picture, draw, or watch one of your favorite childhood movies. You can also go running; after a while you can get a runner's high much like the one you get through cutting, but you don't hurt your body so much. But be careful: you can run too much, just like you can eat too much or drink too much water.
You may not be able to get rid of the thoughts, but don't work to get rid of the fear. That fear is healthy. We're afraid to hurt ourselves because it discourages us from doing risky things, and getting rid of it literally damages your self-preservation instincts. Seriously, I can't stress enough: do not work to get rid of it.
If you want to read about people who are having the same problem or general advice on getting rid of the urges, here are two good websites:
http://www.palace.net/llama/psych/injury.html
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/
Good luck with this. The first time I cut I was 13. It wasn't bad at all, but it gradually got worse from there. I promise you, in the long run, self-harm is not worth it. And if distracting yourself and getting help through the Internet isn't enough, don't be afraid to talk to a therapist. Some of them don't know what they're doing, but a lot of them are lifesavers.
long story my sis found out i have a foot fetish and now she rubs her feet in my face and once gave me a semi footjob and i feel sick because i enjoyed it and im starting to get excited from it is this normal PS:this isnt a troll im serious i feel ashamed to look at my sis and my gf and i dont need someone telling me that this is a troll
I think it is normal to get excited from it; she is a woman and she is sexually stimulating you, so it's only natural for your body to react. What is not normal is allowing or encouraging your sister to continue sexually pleasuring you.
You need to talk to your sister and put your foot down (no pun intended) about this. You both have to agree to stop everything that could put you in this situation. That means she should not be touching you with her feet, and you should not allow her to. Having her rub her foot on your leg or your arm might start innocently enough, but you know where it can lead and you have to stop yourself before it gets that far.
As for telling your girlfriend, that is entirely your choice. Only you have an idea of how she will react. If you keep it to yourself, you will have to deal with that shameful secret for all the time you stay with her. But if you tell her, she could leave you or tell other people. Do you think she would tell other people? Do you think she might leave you? Or do you think she might forgive you, so long as it never happens again? Maybe you feel she deserves to know no matter how she might react. Think carefully and make your own decision on what to do.
If you tell her, make sure she knows just how utterly ashamed you are; that will help show her that you didn't intend for this to happen, that you truly regret it, and that you will never let it happen again. Don't be stoic about it because that makes it look like you don't think it was a big deal.
If this continues to bother you or you feel like you cannot control yourself around your sister, you should find a counselor. A counselor or therapist can help you find solutions to this problem and also help you deal with your shame. Honestly, you haven't done anything really horrible (it seems like your sister keeps initiating it, even); mainly you've gotten yourself into an embarrassing situation that is very taboo. Your actions and reactions aren't evil, but they are not socially acceptable and continuing this could ruin every meaningful relationship you have. So don't drown yourself in self-hatred, but do take steps to stop this right away.
I am sick and tired of living. My family hates me. They treat me like crap. I'm never appreciated and I want it to be over. I cannot continue to live this way. I'm either going to kill myself or run away and hope someone will kill me. I need help before I do something stupid.
Although you can't control whether you are thinking about suicide or not, you can control what you do with those thoughts. Really, it's not very uncommon to think about it. Millions, perhaps even billions of people in the world have considered it, but most of us are very quiet about it. Only a few of the people considering suicide actually kill themselves; the rest of us survive one way or another, whether we expected to or not. Still, I've been in that dark place where suicide seems like the best solution to my problems, and it's never a fun place to be.
You don't give much information about your age or your family situation, but I'm guessing you're under 18. I can't tell what you mean exactly when you say your family treats you like crap, and I'm not going to make assumptions about it. All I can tell you is how my parents treated me when I was depressed, and go from there. My parents do care about me, and they're rather nice when they're not out of their minds with stress. But when I was depressed, we fought a LOT, and usually I felt like I was just a burden to them. Sometimes they would say the cruelest things to me. They'd tell me I deserved to just sit there and cry for the way I act, and that I was just being lazy when I physically could not get myself out of bed. They still loved me and continued to support me, but they would say things that made me feel like a disgusting speck of dirt.
Your family might be like mine. They may care about you but be bad at expressing it, or they may be caught up in a whirlwind of problems that is turning them bitchy and/or apathetic. Or maybe they aren't paying attention to you like they should be, and because of that they misinterpret your actions and treat your more harshly than you deserve. It's unlikely that they really hate you, but I have seen families where it was true, so I'm not going to lie and say it's impossible. Still, a lot of the time we mistake anger, frustration, and exhausted apathy for hatred. I still make that mistake a lot.
Either way, I think your best choice would be to seek help from an outside source. If you're in school, set up a meeting with your school counselor and tell them what is going on. They're trained to deal with this kind of thing, and they usually have a lot of real-life experience helping students like you. If you're not in school, try finding local mental health clinics, or even call a counseling hotline. I know it's scary to open up to someone in person like that, but that really is your best option.
As for the two options you are considering... Running away would be rough, really rough. The chances of you getting killed quickly by someone else are pretty low, but the chances of you being raped and/or beaten are high. Most people will look at you like garbage, and others will look at you as easy prey. If you are living on the streets, you will be dirty and sweaty because showers are hard to come by, and cold/wet if you can't find a sheltered place to sleep. Shelters exist, but a lot of the time they fill up quickly, and some people avoid them whenever possible for fear of rape. Running away might get you away from your family, but it will cause you even more problems in the long run.
Suicide, in my opinion, isn't really an option. I don't say this out of some flowery belief that your life is a gift and you should believe in yourself, or whatever people say. But I have been suicidal so many times, and tried going through with it a couple of times as well. Later, after I come out of my depression and my situation improves, I think, "God, I can't believe I almost did that." Killing myself would be the biggest mistake of my life. I would have missed out on so many things, and hurt people terribly whether I knew it or not.
I know that right now, but when things get bad I still start considering it. That's why I need outside help, especially when I'm suicidal. I can do a lot of things for myself, but I can't do everything. Sometimes, especially when it comes to depression and suicidal thoughts, it's impossible for us to 'change our attitude' by ourselves. We have the free will to seek help and exert some control over our actions, but much like if you had a broken leg, it's hard to fix the problem with determination alone. You have to play a role in healing yourself, but it's nearly impossible without the proper tools, and in this case those tools may include talking to professionals, or talking things out with your family, or telling a trusted friend that you're afraid to be left alone.
Depending on the specifics of your situation, you may eventually want to consider therapy and/or medication. This is your choice and I wont go into details about it here; I just wanted to note that they're not as awful as they're made out to be. Crappy therapists and psychiatrists exist, and they can make things worse, but if you encounter a bad one you should switch until you find one you like. Same with medication (if you decide to try it): if you don't like one medicine, switch to another. Both therapy and medication have worked miracles for me, although it took a lot of trial-and-error to get things right. They're worth a try if nothing is working. They can't magically 'fix' you, but they can be a vital help to you as you try to dig yourself out of this pit.
If you find yourself feeling worse or you need to talk to someone right away, there is a sort of online crisis hotline called IMAlive. It works through instant messaging and is completely free. The staff are trained to help you with suicidal thoughts and other problems, and they volunteered for it because they genuinely want to help. Here is the link, just keep it in mind so you have it if you need it:
https://www.imalive.org/
Things are rough for you right now, and a lot of people may not understand why you feel this way or what it is really like for you. You will get a lot of crappy advice whether you ask for it or not, and at least a few people will be rude about it. But you need to keep going, because you do have many years left in your lifespan, and so many amazing/ridiculous/terrible/silly/wonderful/strange/fantastic things can happen in that time. At some points it will be downright impossible to enjoy anything, and it may seem like nothing could be worth the pain, but someday you WILL reach a point where you are glad to have made it through. It may seem like an impossibly distant time in the future, but that day is much closer than it feels. I've reached that day and I'm happy to have made it, but when I was 16 I didn't expect to make it to my 17th birthday. Now I'm 19 and actually want to live much longer. You CAN get through it, and someday you wont be suffering like you are now. Someday you will actually feel happy again, but you have to wade through a bunch of crap to get there. Please, don't give up. You will get there.
I was at practice the other day and after awhile I don't know what happened but my thumb started really hurting. When I try to bend it to crack it, it hurts but when i pulled it to pop it did pop. SO i don't know if I broke it you bruised the bone....i don't know and it hurts if i put pressure on the knuckle so any help?
Please and Thank You
The general rule I was taught was that if moving hurts, there's a chance that the bone is broken. You could also have damaged some of the fibrous tissue in your thumb like muscles or ligaments. If you've torn something, you need to get it treated right away because waiting could cause permanent damage. Whether it's a broken bone or something else, you should have it looked at as soon as you can. It's better to go to the doctor and find out it's a simple sprain than not go in and end up with a stiff thumb for the rest of your life.
I've been on Depo now for a little over a month. I'm just wondering how long most people experienced the supposed "irregular periods"? I have been on my period now for 30+ days. I feel tired and groggy. It's not just some light spotting the way my doctor told me. It's been constant flow. YUCK!
Thirty straight days is never normal. When they talk about irregular periods, they're talking more about milder things like skipping or going an odd amount of time between, or bleeding slightly less or slightly more than usual. You need to call your doctor as soon as possible! If you've been bleeding for thirty days you are losing a lot of blood cells and iron, and you need to take steps to treat that. Only a doctor will know what to do for your specific situation.
You need medical help right away. I can't stress this enough. Your lack of energy may be directly related to blood loss, or it could just be another nasty side effect of the shot. Either way, if you don't get help for this soon you could get really sick. Call your doctor tomorrow, or walk into a clinic!
And if things get worse and you start feeling really ill or having scary symptoms (like fainting, strange feelings in your chest, feeling short of breath when you shouldn't be, etc.), go to an emergency room. Blood loss is a serious problem, and you can't know just how much you've lost unless you consult a doctor.
Hey there--
so to get to the point, I want my parents to realize that I can take care of myself in public and that I have my own specific personality. Never in their life have they let me sleepover a friends house tge only time was when I was 9 and due to lack of social involvement I cried the whole night. Here I am now 7 years later without one sleepover EVER.
I finally got the guts to ask my mom if I could sleepover a best friends house along with another friend a she automatically said no because
a) she doesn't 'trust' me
b) I'm too old for it.
This struck me hard because my 13 year old sister has had more then 7 sleepover experiances compared to my 1. I'm 16 and still play pokemon, digimon, & watch my little pony. At the sane time my grades are amazing my GPA being 92.411 so far. She doesn't trust me because back in 7th grade I didn't tell her about a boyfriend and she found out I was hanging out with him behind her back.
I can't even see my current boyfriend without her thinking we're going to have sex though he's a virgin!!!
Please I beg of you someone tell me a way so I can breathe ! I've been their perfect oldest child for too long
Being 16 and only having gone to one sleepover does seem pretty overprotective on your mom's part. None of my circle of friends ever 'grew out' of sleepovers. We're 19 now and still have them if we get the chance. How many have I gone to? I can't count them. They were never a big event, just something we did when we had time.
How well do you know your best friend's parents? Do you know them well enough to have one of them talk with your mom? Sometimes parents worry about sending you over to a friend's house because they don't know that friend's parents, although I doubt that's your mom's only problem. But having someone else's parent talk with your mom about letting you sleep over is a good way to convince her (so long as she doesn't take it the wrong way).
Also, try explaining to your mom that, considering how much your personality and maturity changes during the teen years, who you were in 7th grade is very different from who you are now. It's like her telling you that you can't handle high-school level classes because you couldn't handle them in middle school. Who you are at 13 is wildly different from who you are at 16, and who you are at 16 is wildly different from who you are at 19.
One obvious point is that, yes, you definitely need experience spending the night away from home because at some point you will be moving out or going away to college or whatever your plans are. I've known people who don't know how to deal with that because they aren't used to being away from their family for a week; they'd get painfully homesick after being on a trip for just 3 days. And these people did go to sleepovers; they just weren't used to longer periods of time. The problem may be magnified for you. No one wants to be the girl who can't stop crying in their first month at college because they miss home. You will miss it, but ideally not to the point where it interferes with your new life.
I started going to sleepovers at the age of 6, at the house of one friend whose parents my mom had gotten to know well. At 16 I was driving myself just about wherever I wanted to go, so long as I always let my parents know where I was and stayed safe. Now I'm 19 (only 3 years older than you) and I'm actually kind of succeeding at this living on my own thing. I worked up to this level of independence slowly and over many years, but I was only able to get here because my parents learned how to let me do some things without them looking over my shoulder.
You could always try writing her a letter promising to be responsible, safe, and careful while sleeping over. It might sound cheesy, but maybe committing it in words on paper will comfort her a little. It will also show her that this is important to you.
Playing Pokemon, Digimon, etc. doesn't really reflect on your maturity level. Some people just enjoy playing it. My college friends love Pokemon and one recently got into that new My Little Pony series. I love Adventure Time with Finn and Jake, and there is currently a blue plastic dinosaur on my living room table. It's alright to like kid things so long as you don't act like a child in terms of emotion and responsibility. Just thought I'd throw that out there. :)
Are any of these people mildly interesting to someone who isn't a science geek? We have to pick one for a project and I have no clue who any of these people are
Ruth Benerito
Joan Berkowitz
Hazel Bishop
Emma Perry Carr
Pamela Clark
Marie Curie
Rosalind Franklin
Gertrude Belle Elion
Alice Hamilton
Darleane Hoffman
Shannon Lucid
Gerty Theresa Cori
Stephanie Kwolek
Janet Marcet
Marie Meurdrac
Rosalyn Yalow
Dorothy Crowfoot Hodgkin
Diane D. Gates-Anderson
John Dalton
Humphrey Davy
Irene Curie-Joloit
Henri Becquerel
Robert Boyle
S. Cannizzaro
Jacque Charles
Neils Bohr
J.J. Thompson
Henry Moseley J. Berzelius
W. Roentgen
J. Robert Oppenheimer
L. Meitner
G. N. Lewis
F. Aston
Joseph Priestly
Michael Faraday
J. Proust
E. Rutherford
A. Avogadro
Paracelsus
Robert Bunsen
Fritz Haber
D. Mendeleev
Fritz Wohler
E. Torricelli
Linus Pauling
Leslie Groves
Arrhenius
LeChatelier
F. Werner
Even if their work sounds dull in a textbook, a lot of scientists lead surprisingly interesting lives. If you want a quick way to look over any name in the list, just stick a name into google and scan their Wikipedia article.
I agree with the others; Marie Curie is very well known and considered one of the most influential female scientists of all time. She and her husband did groundbreaking work in the study of radioactive elements. Unfortunately, the dangers of radiation were unknown at the time and they did all their experiments with no protection at all. Her husband died in a street accident, but Marie Curie eventually died from aftereffects of radiation exposure. Her personal papers are so radioactive that they are kept in lead boxes and anyone who wants to handle them must wear protective clothing.
Another very well known person in the list is J. Robert Oppenheimer. He is considered the "father of the atomic bomb" for his work on the Manhattan Project. He was actually under investigation for much of his life as a security threat, despite (or perhaps because of) his vital role in the Manhattan Project. He'd make a great choice for your presentation.
Hi, I am a 43 year old Police Officer who lives in New zealand. In the last year my father has passed, my mother has been diagnosed with a severe mental illness and my wife of 25 years has left me. The first two i think I have coped with but my wife leaving has left me ruined. Three months ago I overdosed and was found unconsciouss in a phone booth. I ahve two children which I love to pieces and I would hate to hurt them. But this has not stopped me constantly thinking of ending my life to stop the pain I feel at losing my wife, my childhood sweatrheat. She is 40 and recently has an affair with my sons 22 year old tennis coach. I came accross them one night having sex and this memory of the guy naked on top of my wife haunts me every day. I am seeing a physchologist and spent 5 hours with him last week. This has been going on for close to 1 year now and the pain has not lessoned at all. I really dont want to die because i know how selfish that is and how much pain that would cause. It does not stop the constant thoughts tho. i feel completely broken and even the time I spend with my kids i keep thinking about my wife and the what if's. What if I had of treated her better, what if I had told her i loved her more often, etc etc. I am not a dumb person but I have been in so much pain for so long and just want it to end. My confidence is gone now and I know my company is not that great. I am a kind and good person at heart but I am just so sad.I look forward to any suggestions of help. Thanks
Your wife's behavior is not your fault. She chose what she did, knowing full well that it would hurt you and hurt your children if they got caught in the crossfire. You may wonder, "How could that sweet woman I married do something like this, unless I somehow drove her to it?" But people change. She certainly loved you at some point, and she probably never thought of herself as a cheater, especially one who got with her son's 22-year-old tennis coach. But you've been together 25 years, and people can change a lot in that time.
Sadness is only natural, but you have no reason whatsoever to feel guilty. If one spouse isn't meeting the other's needs, it is our responsibility to resolve it between ourselves through conversation and compromise like real adults. If you aren't aware of a problem, how can you fix it? Maybe she was stressed or lonely, but that is no excuse to do what she did. Be sad, be angry, but don't feel guilty. Her actions don't reflect on your abilities as a husband at all. And Dangernerd is right; people suffer through far rockier relationships without resorting to cheating.
You should definitely think about switching psychologists if you feel like 5 hours a week isn't improving anything. Also, please consider medication. It has something of a bad reputation, but if you are depressed something as simple as one pill a day could work miracles. Clinical depression is mostly biological, but it can be sparked by real life events like in your case. And while medication alone can't heal the grief of your wife's betrayal, it can bring you closer to a level emotional ground where you can think about your wife without drowning in guilt and self-loathing. Our perspectives do get warped during depression, and we may realize that something that seemed completely true during the fog of depression isn't true at all when we think about it later. I spent months thinking I was a burden to everyone and they all secretly hated me, but were too polite to tell me to go away. After I came out of my depression, I wondered, "How could I have ever thought that was true?" I really believed that my friends and parents thought me so much of a burden that they'd be happier if I died. Therapy did make something of a difference, but medication is what allowed me to adjust my entire brain (and most of my thoughts) to something closer to normal.
You may not feel like it, but you are a very strong man. Not many people can deal with so much at once and still keep swimming like you have. Find those things that keep you afloat and cling to them. Keep photos of your kids, spend more time with them, ask them to make you something to carry with you if they're at that age. You are their hero, and they are your angels; it's important that none of you get lost or forgotten during the break-up of your marriage. Your wife made her choice, and she has betrayed her children almost as much as she's betrayed you. So show them that you care about them, and remember that they need you even more than you need them. You don't have to be completely stoic in front of them; a lot of dads seem to believe they need to stay completely strong and tough in front of their kids, but it's not true. Showing some of your emotions tells them it's ok for them to do the same. Let them know that you're sad and that you're hurt by their mother leaving, but encourage them to be happy and have fun, and tell them how much they mean to you. By helping them, you can help yourself.
It seems like you've been climbing and climbing for so long while feeling like you haven't gotten anywhere, but the important thing is that you are still going. Every day that you live through is one more day that you have managed to survive, and one day closer to a time when you can feel ok again. It is also one more day that you can be a part of your children's lives. So hold on, and don't stop climbing! You will get there, I know you will.
17/f
I'm in a very demanding school environment where everyone strives to achieve the minimum 2100. I'm not aiming for ivy league, but I'd like to think that a high SAT score is an essential factor to college acceptance. I've never had any prep, and I'm pretty confident that my mathematic skills are significantly lacking when it comes to the SAT.
I was considering requesting to take extensive test prep summer (programs like Elite, etc.); however, that conflicts with my summer plans for fulfilling my community service requirements and other credentials. I know it would be a commitment of five hours per day, along with the allotted test taking time excluded from the actual courses and extra time spent outside the class studying. I don't feel as though I could accomplish that and all my community service plans. I'm not even sure my parents could afford to pay for it.
I just don't know what I'm supposed to do from here? Should I spend the entirety of my free time (weekends, breaks, summer) studying for the SAT score or dedicate my time to a plethora of community service projects to list on my applications?
Advice would be greatly appreciated.
Yeah, SAT scores are fairly important for college acceptance, but a great score alone would not get you into those top tier schools. They will also look at community service, extracurricular activities, and generally how mature and well-rounded you are as a person (this is where your essay comes in). I was in your place two years ago, and the only specific preparation I did for the SAT was take the PSAT twice. Have you taken the PSAT? Taking it and studying the type of questions you missed is one of the best ways you can prepare.
If you get decent grades and are at the proper level for students at your school, then you'll do fine. If you want to practice, there's no need to drop hundreds of dollars on private tutoring. Buy a book with practice problems for math, potential vocabulary words, and tricky grammar concepts. They sell books specifically for the SAT that shouldn't cost more than 30 dollars or so. If you still have trouble with math, check to see if your school offers free tutoring, or talk to your math teacher outside of class.
Be sure to practice writing essays in a short amount of time. I didn't practice and was accustomed to writing longer essays in 50 minutes, so when they gave me 20 minutes to write something short I did terribly.
I barely studied and I got a 1940, which is a bit lower than what you're aiming for. But with my good grades and history of volunteering and extracurricular activities, I still got into a very prestigious school and nabbed a 25k per year scholarship. Just remember that your SAT score is just a number, and 200-300 points of difference around 2000 wont make or break your admission chances unless you're aiming for the extremely selective colleges like the ivies. All colleges want to see extracurricular activities that can distinguish you from other students and suggest skills going beyond 'book smarts'. The really selective colleges must strongly consider both scores and extracurricular activities because most of their applicants excel in both areas. At that point, choosing one person over five others can come down to something weird, like picking a tuba player because they need one for the band.
In a nutshell, you will get much more out of volunteering than studying and, considering your current level, volunteering will probably look much more impressive than a 250 point score boost with no footnote showing how hard you worked. Some people achieve great scores without ever practicing, and unless you awkwardly shoehorn it into your essay, the college will never know that you sacrificed an entire summer to reach that same score others achieve effortlessly.
Also, there's no need to have a "plethora" of community service projects, as you described it. Colleges prefer to see long time dedication to a few specific projects, rather than spending a few hours or days of time on 15 different ones. I only had three things to put down for organized volunteering/extracurricular activities, but I stuck with two of those for all of high school and achieved leadership positions in one. Three is a small number, but I enjoyed those things and stuck with them, and that did make a difference.