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They treat me like I'm a 4 year old
Hey there--
so to get to the point, I want my parents to realize that I can take care of myself in public and that I have my own specific personality. Never in their life have they let me sleepover a friends house tge only time was when I was 9 and due to lack of social involvement I cried the whole night. Here I am now 7 years later without one sleepover EVER.
I finally got the guts to ask my mom if I could sleepover a best friends house along with another friend a she automatically said no because
a) she doesn't 'trust' me
b) I'm too old for it.
This struck me hard because my 13 year old sister has had more then 7 sleepover experiances compared to my 1. I'm 16 and still play pokemon, digimon, & watch my little pony. At the sane time my grades are amazing my GPA being 92.411 so far. She doesn't trust me because back in 7th grade I didn't tell her about a boyfriend and she found out I was hanging out with him behind her back.
I can't even see my current boyfriend without her thinking we're going to have sex though he's a virgin!!!
Please I beg of you someone tell me a way so I can breathe ! I've been their perfect oldest child for too long
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Being 16 and only having gone to one sleepover does seem pretty overprotective on your mom's part. None of my circle of friends ever 'grew out' of sleepovers. We're 19 now and still have them if we get the chance. How many have I gone to? I can't count them. They were never a big event, just something we did when we had time.
How well do you know your best friend's parents? Do you know them well enough to have one of them talk with your mom? Sometimes parents worry about sending you over to a friend's house because they don't know that friend's parents, although I doubt that's your mom's only problem. But having someone else's parent talk with your mom about letting you sleep over is a good way to convince her (so long as she doesn't take it the wrong way).
Also, try explaining to your mom that, considering how much your personality and maturity changes during the teen years, who you were in 7th grade is very different from who you are now. It's like her telling you that you can't handle high-school level classes because you couldn't handle them in middle school. Who you are at 13 is wildly different from who you are at 16, and who you are at 16 is wildly different from who you are at 19.
One obvious point is that, yes, you definitely need experience spending the night away from home because at some point you will be moving out or going away to college or whatever your plans are. I've known people who don't know how to deal with that because they aren't used to being away from their family for a week; they'd get painfully homesick after being on a trip for just 3 days. And these people did go to sleepovers; they just weren't used to longer periods of time. The problem may be magnified for you. No one wants to be the girl who can't stop crying in their first month at college because they miss home. You will miss it, but ideally not to the point where it interferes with your new life.
I started going to sleepovers at the age of 6, at the house of one friend whose parents my mom had gotten to know well. At 16 I was driving myself just about wherever I wanted to go, so long as I always let my parents know where I was and stayed safe. Now I'm 19 (only 3 years older than you) and I'm actually kind of succeeding at this living on my own thing. I worked up to this level of independence slowly and over many years, but I was only able to get here because my parents learned how to let me do some things without them looking over my shoulder.
You could always try writing her a letter promising to be responsible, safe, and careful while sleeping over. It might sound cheesy, but maybe committing it in words on paper will comfort her a little. It will also show her that this is important to you.
Playing Pokemon, Digimon, etc. doesn't really reflect on your maturity level. Some people just enjoy playing it. My college friends love Pokemon and one recently got into that new My Little Pony series. I love Adventure Time with Finn and Jake, and there is currently a blue plastic dinosaur on my living room table. It's alright to like kid things so long as you don't act like a child in terms of emotion and responsibility. Just thought I'd throw that out there. :)
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My parents are the same way. They try to protect me but I also feel like it's no longer protection if you feel like the world is caving in. Talk to your parents they have to realize your growing up and that one day you'll leave their home and will have to face the real world by yourself.Both my sister and I have never slept over a friends house and it's no big deal. You can interact with people through other ways. Just remember you'll always be their "little girl" and they are not trying to harm you, theyre trying to protect you. Goodluck(:
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