I am a 37 year old college-educated female, married, full-time stay-at-home mom and home-maker
Gender: Female
Occupation: homemaker, mother of 2
Age: 37
Member Since: June 20, 2007
Answers: 25
Last Update: January 25, 2010
Visitors: 3655
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Let me first start by giving you a little back ground information. My ex wife became pregnant when she was 20 and I was 19. Even though it was earlier than we both expected to become parents, we were thrilled and so excited to start our family together. We got married shortly after she gave birth to our son Matt. Soon after that, we had another son, and then a daughter. From my perspective, everything was great. That's why I was so blindsided when my wife came to me 9 months after our daughter was born claiming she wasn't ready to settle down and be a mother with divorce papers in her hand. Almost overnight, I became a 23 year old single father with a 4 year old, 2 year old, and a 9 month old. After the divorce was final, I rarely heard from my ex wife. She had begun living a life that I didn't necessarily approve of filled with drugs and alcohol and, while I wanted to keep my children as far away from that as possible, she was their mother and I didn’t feel like I could entirely keep them away from her. The last straw, however, came when I let my daughter, Alyssa, (who was 6 at the time) stay with her when I took my sons on a hunting trip. I was supposed to pick her up at noon the Sunday we got back. I spent the entire afternoon calling my ex wife’s apartment with no answer. At 5 that afternoon, I finally just went over to her house where I found her front door wide open and her passed out on the couch from mixing a few too many drugs with alcohol. Her neighbor came over to the apartment and told me that my ex wife had taken Alyssa out one night and come home completely plastered. Thank god her neighbor had woken up and decided to take Alyssa back to her apartment. And this is just one example of many. After that, I told my ex wide that I didn’t want her to see our kids anymore which devastated her so much she entered rehab. She got clean and for the past ten years has seen the kids a few times despite my hesitance. My kids and I have been living a great life together away from my ex wife. A few years ago I began dating another woman whom I am now engaged too. She gets along great with my kids and is an amazing person who I know will be a good influence on my kids’ lives. My oldest son Matt is now in college, but Colton (my middle son) and Alyssa still live with me. Since I have become engaged, my ex wife has become crazy about spending time with the two of them. She wants them at her house every weekend and doesn’t want my fiancé to parent them at all. She is trying to tell my daughter all kinds of lies about why she left, and how I am a horrible person for trying to keep them from seeing her. She tells her that the entire thing was my fault and all kinds of horrible rumors about my fiancé, who went to high school with my ex wife. She has asked both of my kids to move in with her. Colton told her absolutely not, but Alyssa is confused about the whole situation and doesn’t know what she should do. I have full custody of them so essentially it is my choice about whether or not she can see them. I don’t want to take them away from my ex wife, but I don’t want to lose them myself. I am still worried that she will resort back to her old ways and put my kids in danger like she has their whole lives. Am I right to not let my daughter move in with her mom? (link)
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You are a loving father and you will never lose your children. You will forever be tied to your ex-wife, because you have children together and you did love and trust her once. My advice to you is to show your ex some compassion. She has been clean and sober for ten years and everyone makes mistakes. Clearly, she feels threatened by your getting married. She doesn't want to lose her kids either, and she won't just because your kids are getting a stepmom, their mom will never be replaced. You do what's best for your kids, follow your heart and your gut and do your best to make everyone happy, but put your kids happiness first. Don't punish your ex for her past mistakes by not letting her see the kids AT ALL; forgive but don't forget. Good luck.
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What do you mean a landing strip? (link)
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Metaphorically speaking, a landing strip, like a jetway, a place for a plane to land. Reference to a hysterical (but crass) movie called "Sex Drive". This would be the eqivalent of a male's facial hair shaped into a soul patch.
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Haha, sorry about the Topic name, anyways this is what's up.
My boobs are fine when they're in a bra, but as soon as I take it off they just are saggyish, and in my opoinion I think it's absolutely gross. I heard push-ups help rais them back up, and so does losing a little weight? But I don'tknow where to turn. So does push ups really work? Or what will? Because this is killing me! Haa. Thanks!
(link)
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You know, I have the same exact problem. The way I defeat it: SEXY POSTURE. We are all our own worst enemy. YES, some of us look better with our clothes on, but sexy underwear is great and nothing looks better when you're naked than self confidence and a mischievious grin. Good luck. And remember, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.
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i know everyone seems to love it, but i hate it and i always have. i wouldn't have even joined if my friend hadn't made an account for me. i have only been able to deactivate it, but i REALLy want to delete it. PLEASE HELP!!! (link)
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FACEBOOK is the devil; destroys more than it builds, is a huge waste of time. Good luck and congratulations on making a good life decision
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So, i'm 15 and female. My boyfriend for two months who I'm really starting to develop strong feelings for asked me to give him oral the other night. See, now I'm not prude okay? It's true I've never done that before, but I think it's normal to be nervous about EVERYTHING the first time. Hell, I was nervous the first time i got fingered! I just really don't like the idea of putting a guys penis into my mouth. Like common, thats kind of gross...for all you girls out there thats done it, is it that bad? Also, I don't want to be used by this guy! Like, if I'm open to exploring new things because he wants to, I don't want it to be a situation where we do this stuff and hes bored & leaves, you know? Anyways, do you think I should give in and just try giving him a blow job? There's a first for everything...or shoould i like stand my ground bc its kinda disqusting? hahaha let me know, kthanks, much love (link)
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Honestly, being that intimate with someone and having strong feelings for someone leaves you vulnerable. Best way not to get hurt is to communicate your wants, needs, and expectations. If you do decide to go forward with this, make sure it''s because you care about him and are confident he cares for you, and you want to please him and make him happy. I would also research technique so you could BLOW HIM AWAY! Good luck!
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I'm a 23-year old female and my 22-year old fiancee and I just had a big argument over the price of my ring. He didn't buy me an engagement ring and though he promised to "get me what I wanted" he's basically saying now that expecting him to spend more than a couple of hundred dollars is outrageous.
I know he's not trying very hard to save, which is also pretty upsetting. What I'm asking for isn't a 5ct rock...just something I can be proud to wear.
I mean, we aren't rich, but I can't shake the feeling of wanting something I'll be happy with for a long time. I don't think spending $500 is exorbitant considering how much it will mean to me.
Did anyone go through something similar and if so, how did you and your significant other compromise? (link)
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Here is the common sense answer: usually a guy should spend two months salary on an engagement ring; if he cannot save up that much, then he has a problem saving and you should really think about having a future together. Then again if material things are not important to you at all, then you guys can just live on love. Good luck!
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When a guy fingers you, are you supposed to shave your "triangle?" What about your actual vagina? (link)
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The honest answer is the more maintainence you do 'down there', the more appealing it is for a guy to go there, and the more pleasure you will ultimately receive. I use a bikini trimmer to keep things neat down there (EPILADY); I also use Neet to carve the triangle into what looks like a landing strip. Good luck!
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the subject pretty much says it all. kthanks. (link)
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(1) Pink Floyd, Wish You Were Here
(2) Led Zeppelin, Stairway to Heaven
(3) Bad Company, Feel Like Makin' Love
(4) Sophie B. Hawkins, Damn, I wish I was Your Lover
(5) Doors, Light My Fire
(6) Rod Stewart, Do Ya Think I'm Sexy
(7) Fleetwood Mac, GREATEST HITS ALBUM
(8) Nine Inch Nails, Closer
(9) Nine Inch Nails, Head Like a Hole
Good Luck and Have Fun
Remember, When I'm Good, I'm Very Very Good, but when I'm Bad I'm Even Better!!!!
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Hi im sophie, im 27 years old from philippines, i just need some advice. I had relationship when a man who love me a lot and i love him also now the problem we are not same nationality, diffirent county, diffient language. And family system is not totally same. Now he got marrid lastweek a arrange married. Now what do i do? I still love him. Please give some advises. (link)
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The truth is, married people are off the market. Have you ever heard "there are plenty of fish in the sea"? Cry 'til you cannot cry any more, and then put yourself in happy situations and everything else will fllow suit. Good luck and many blessings.
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For weeks I have been iffy about even writing this.
I am young 18 and just got married in August. I am pregnant that is not why we got married but I think we rushed into it. We were planning the wedding already had my wedding dress before i found out I was Pregnant.
Sometimes I find myself regretting getting marred My reasons. I wanted to work days and go to school nights. It would be tough but id be able to better myself for me and my family he through a fit and didnt support me at all. told me either work or go to school but advises me to work because we need the money. Being pregnant I have my mood swings like most if we have an argument its all my fault he will yell at me and blame me then make me feel guilty by saying oh its always all my fault i forgot your so perfect. sometimes he makes im crap. If i feel nauses or sick at night or anything and he wants sex he pouts and acts like he is mad by not saying a workd until he gets it then goes to sleep. he goes hunting, fishing, baseball teams and tournaments etc. anything he wants and i dont argue about it i just let him.
I have asked a million times to look harder for a job. he works 2 days aweek at a sale barn doing something he likes i work full time on my swallon feet 40+ hours a week and come home exhausted and tired. its like he dont care he doesnt want to even try to look he put an app. in at burgerking one app.. in 5 weeks? we live at my dads. which i dont feel is save but dont have a choice. hes lazy
and to top it off he always wants to spend money. i used to get food stamps which just stopped but hed want a gallon of tea every 2 days. go out and buy food he wants all the time because hes to lazy to cook one thing or wait for it to get done. as soon as he gets paid he goes and spends most of the money on garbage food and gets mad when i tell him i dont want it id rather eat food i cook at home.
I love my husband to death trust me and want to work things out but i dont know what to do i talk to him about it and itslike it is in one ear and out the other. (link)
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I TOTALLY agree with AuntKerry. I have been married 10 years, have two kids. We do argue, like in any marriage, but we have a partnership. Neither person is right all the time and neither person is wrong all the time. Marriage is give and take, compromise, choosing your battles. Having children requires a great deal of unselfishness; sounds like your husband is a selfish spoiled child himself. When you love someone, you are able to put their needs before your own. This man needs a wake-up call; you need to put your foot down about what sort of behavior and treatment will be tolerated and what will not be tolerated. I wish you the absolute best of luck and many blessings. Peace & Joy...
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What are good things to masturbate with like things around the house or the best way to hump or something (link)
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Cell phone; rounded hair brush (non-bristly end); balled up sheets. Good luck and happy humping :)
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So, I'm a sophmore, and my guy friend I've know since first grade likes me.
He doesn't know I know, but me and my friends ave figured it out.
I doubt he'll do anything about it. Cause last time he dated one of his chick friends it ended horribley.
But if he DOES happen to tell me one day, how on Earth to I let him down without compleyely ruining our friendship?
I love him to death, but I'm not attractied to him like that.
I did have a pretty huge crush on him seventh-eighth grade, but that is compleyely over and done with now.
Tips? (link)
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Always treat others the way you would like to be treated; kindly, compassionately, honestly. But, that being said, sometimes when it comes to honesty LESS IS MORE. Good luck :)
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I am 42 and I just recently got married to a woman I have known my entire life but we both got married to other people shortly after high school. She has three teenage daughters Sam is 19 Meagan is 18 and Audree is 16. Their father left them shortly after my wife had her youngest daughter and so she has raised them all by herself. They have always been pretty affluent because my wife's family has quite a bit of money and she is a magazine editor. She lets the girls get away with murder and they get everything rthey could possibly even dream of wanting. I have a very big issue with this since my three sons (19 18 aand 17) are expected to follow very strict rules. I was in the army for several years and my children are expected to abide by my rules or face the consequences.
The girls however are completely out of control, especially the youngest one, Audree. My wife and i both agreed on a curfew for the all six kids when they moved in. She convinced me to change the curfew of my sons to be midnight for all of the kids. I agreed but with hesitation. Like always before my kids have always gotten here on time or before their curfew while her daughters completely disregard the rules. For example, Audree was late for curfew 4 times out of the 7 days last week. My wife didn't even talk to her about it. When i confronted her al she said was "She is only 16. I think we should just let her live her life." I found out the other day that her girls have never been grounded, never had acurfew, and are very open about teh fact that they go to parties and drink. Sam has gotten in 4 accidents since she has lived here, and Meagan has her boyrfriend over all the time without supervision, all things i dont tolerate from my own kids. Audree came home in tears the other night because she got a ticket for driving 19 MILES OVER THE SPEED LIMIT! My wife just hugged her and tried to calm ehr down the entire night and i never heard a single word about the ticket, which i had to pay for sicne none of her kids have jobs. I almost feel as if she is condoning this outrageous behavior since she never repremands her kids. I don't know how to explain to my kids about thsi double standard in our house but i feel like i can't interfere quite yet with her disiplining (or lack there of)since i am not their real father and have only been in their lives for 3 years. I just don't know how much more of this disrepect i can take from them. They are beautiful girlsand i love them like my own. I wish i could treat them this way though. I feel like i owe it to them to lay down the law and punsih them for things like curfew and partying and bad grades but i dont know if it will just put more stress on our relationship that could eventually cause tension between my wife and I. How should i handle this? (link)
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You need to do two things (1) have a sit down heart to heart with your wife (2) kids need consequences, or they will grow up thinking that they can get away with murder, literally and figuratively. Be fair. Be reasonable. Be consistent. Act with love. Best of luck!
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I go to the pool alot, and I know this is going to sound really stupid, but I don't like to go in the pool because when I do, my makeup gets all runny. I have this "waterproof" mascara thats kind of cheap so it still runs. and I can't find any cheap waterproof eyeliner. I know, your going to say just don't wear makeup. I really like to wear makeup though and I like applying it everyday and it just makes me feel nice, and I want to be able to swim underwater and have fun at the pool without worrying about makeup. So i'm asking, do you think I should invest in this expensive waterpoof eyeliner at Sephora called "Make Up FOrever Aqua Eyes" for $16 and mascara "Tarte Lights, Camera, Splash" for $18? I saw them in cosmogirl. Has anyone ever tried them? You can still answer my question though if you haven't. Thanks! (link)
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Get some really chic sunglasses and some long-wear lipstick and you'll be all set. I am 37, and I love to wear make-up too. It makes me feel beautiful. Good luck!
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So my boyfriend is going to college at the end of next month and I want to make him a little kit...like I plan on giving him a framed picture of the two of us, some of his favorite candy, and some Ramen noodles. I've already gotten him pillows and sheets, so do you have any other ideas for some other items to add? Thank you so much! (link)
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I would suggest either a journal or some other tablet to write on and definitely a throw/decorative pillow (or especially one of those pillows called a husband, with the armrests) sprayed with your perfume. Hmmm.. what can you give him so that others know he is taken? A keychain, perhaps? Hope this helps; your own ideas are very good.
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I don't understand what that thing is in the movies where the girl is lying on a table, and a guy licks something off her stomach? It has to do with alcohol, but I don't understanddd (link)
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It's called a body shot. For example, the most "popular" one is a tequila shot; you might lick salt and or lime off someone and then do a tequila shot. It's supposed to be an erotic experience for both people involved.
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i can't take life. i honestly can't. every morning when i wake up i'll try to think of something good that might happen today, but the truth is it's just another damn day. where i'm still my miserable and lonely self. everything in life is too disappointing. I don't have friends or a boyfriend, well i used to have a "friend" but she always tried really hard to make me feel worse about myself. Just now she even asked my "why?" when after she said that guys stare at her 24/7 and I told her they do the same to me. She's such a hurtful bitch.
Every time i have a date set up w/ someone who is interested in me, HE BREAKS THE FREAKING DATE. So all my relationships end before they really begin. See it's just my luck.
I want to commit suicide but I can't because I'm afraid of the pain.
Please don't say anything like "Oh everyone feels this way sometimes." because i feel this way ALL the time. all the god damn time.
people ignore/exclude me whenever they can. i don't even do anything bad/mean.
and also please don't say "oh honey everything's gonna be okay things will get better!"
because i've already heard that too much.
therapists/counselors don't help me. i've seen too many of them. can i be put to sleep or something? like a dog? is that possible?
what can i do to take life? i just want to die so badly. don't say anything like "oh just pray about everything and it'll be okay." I'm not a christian and i never will be again. i'm agnostic because it's the only true religion.
it's not like i've had any horrible tragedies or anything, but i still am just as miserable as anyone who has had them!
god i want to die. help. (link)
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No matter how horribkle you may feel today, you ar eblessed with life and the ability to feel. If it were not for sorrow, we would never know joy. I have had my heart broken more times than I can possibly count. But I put my self out there and allowed myself to be vulnerable and to feel. And I survived it. And I have great memories. My best advice to you is some my mom gave me; try to love yourself; figure out what you enjoy and do it. Feed the ducks. Ride a bike. Sing. Try on make-up. Try on frangrance. Practice making faces at yourself in the mirror. Once you love yourself and know how to be happy (1) you are more loveable and you exude that (2) you will know that no other person can make you happy, but can complement you (think of two right triangles forming a square). Good luck and g-d bless.
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how do you get gum out of hair (link)
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my friend told me she has removed gum from her children's hair by spraying GOO GONE on it and it comes out pretty easily
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Im 16 and my dad died when i was 8 and my mom recently got married to a guy who used to be in the army. I have two sister and now i have 3 step brothers. He is like way strict and his kids are like perfect angels but me and my sisters have never really been raised that strict and for lack of better words are pretty wild. my mom never really punished us for things and now this guy is trying to control us and take over our lives. What should i do? (link)
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The best advice I have ever recieved in my life is CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES. It applies to so many situations. Look, you love your mom and you wante her to be happy, so sometimes you just need to go with the flow of things, and be passive rather than aggressive in certain situations. The best thing you could ever be to someone you love is honest, and communicative. Try to choose your battles and remember, your stepfather is in the picture to make your mom happy. It's not his job to make you happy. You just need to put up with him and be courteous and respectful. Good luck.
37/f with a stepfather
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what happens to your body after you loose your virginity (to a girl)?
this is what i heard:
you gain weight
you get flab on your stomache
your legs get spread open because of the vagina
so what happens? (link)
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Physically, not much changes when you lose your virginity. Depending on how curious you are about how you look physically, "down there", that does change, if you ever look at yourself in the mirror. HOWEVER, the biggest changes you will experience are emotionally and spiritually. You will feel much more connected to the person you lose your virginity to, more attached if you will, and you will never look at them the same again. It is so different for guys than for girls. I think psychologically and physically, with women's sex organs being internal, we internalize our responses towards sex, with boys sex organs being external, it's likw our reactions to sex follow those physical cues, so to speak.
2 women, 37 & 38 y.o.
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