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Arguing with fiancee over my ring.
I'm a 23-year old female and my 22-year old fiancee and I just had a big argument over the price of my ring. He didn't buy me an engagement ring and though he promised to "get me what I wanted" he's basically saying now that expecting him to spend more than a couple of hundred dollars is outrageous.
I know he's not trying very hard to save, which is also pretty upsetting. What I'm asking for isn't a 5ct rock...just something I can be proud to wear.
I mean, we aren't rich, but I can't shake the feeling of wanting something I'll be happy with for a long time. I don't think spending $500 is exorbitant considering how much it will mean to me.
Did anyone go through something similar and if so, how did you and your significant other compromise?
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Here is the common sense answer: usually a guy should spend two months salary on an engagement ring; if he cannot save up that much, then he has a problem saving and you should really think about having a future together. Then again if material things are not important to you at all, then you guys can just live on love. Good luck!
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i have witnessed simialr situations and you are completley right! if you guys are excpecting to spend you whole life together he should definaltly spend more than a couple hundred dollors on your engagment ring even though you guys arent rich.......
good luck! hope everything goes well
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Find the ring you want.
Don’t put the cart before the horse. The important thing it’s how much it costs, the important thing is finding a ring you love.
Find THE ring you want.
Express that is it THE ONE.
The same way that he is THE ONE.
If it's more then he feels he can afford: Help pay.
That seems the easiest solution doesn't it?
If the rest of your life together is a partnership, why does it start with an expensive gift from the man to the women? I've never understood this...
Separate the problem with him not saving, from the problem of you not getting the ring you want.
A man who doesn't know how to save his money is a problem from the rest of your life. A man who doesn't feel the need to spend a lot of money on your engagement ring is a just a man with whom you have a difference of opinion on a single purchase. That can be discussed and compromises can be explored.
This whole conflict is part of a bigger issue, and one you should address BEFORE you get married: The issue of financial planning.
How much do you feel one should be saving on a regular basis? How much does he feel is sensible?
What big-ticket things will you be looking to purchase together? A bedroom set? A house? A honeymoon?
How will you divide these costs? Will it be according to your incomes? Will one, or both of you, go on a weekly allowance?
And once you throw a baby, or retirement planning into the mix… financial planning for a couple gets very, very complicated.
THAT is the discussion you need to have. Finding THE RING is important. Discussing how you plan to live together, financially, is far less romantic, and far more crucial. Use this as an opportunity to discuss big-picture planning, and if you want more then he can provide, think about the things you can do to make the ring, and the life, that you want happen, together.
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