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I NEED HELP WITH LIFE IN GENERAL
i can't take life. i honestly can't. every morning when i wake up i'll try to think of something good that might happen today, but the truth is it's just another damn day. where i'm still my miserable and lonely self. everything in life is too disappointing. I don't have friends or a boyfriend, well i used to have a "friend" but she always tried really hard to make me feel worse about myself. Just now she even asked my "why?" when after she said that guys stare at her 24/7 and I told her they do the same to me. She's such a hurtful bitch.
Every time i have a date set up w/ someone who is interested in me, HE BREAKS THE FREAKING DATE. So all my relationships end before they really begin. See it's just my luck.
I want to commit suicide but I can't because I'm afraid of the pain.
Please don't say anything like "Oh everyone feels this way sometimes." because i feel this way ALL the time. all the god damn time.
people ignore/exclude me whenever they can. i don't even do anything bad/mean.
and also please don't say "oh honey everything's gonna be okay things will get better!"
because i've already heard that too much.
therapists/counselors don't help me. i've seen too many of them. can i be put to sleep or something? like a dog? is that possible?
what can i do to take life? i just want to die so badly. don't say anything like "oh just pray about everything and it'll be okay." I'm not a christian and i never will be again. i'm agnostic because it's the only true religion.
it's not like i've had any horrible tragedies or anything, but i still am just as miserable as anyone who has had them!
god i want to die. help.
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Well. I hate to say this but yes it will change. I'm going through the same fucking thins. Everyday I get up and I realize I have no friends and guys don't like me. Yet people tell me I'm pretty all the time. They don't understand because they're not going through this shit. i honestly think this is the worse time of my life. And I feel like all my fucking friends arent going through it and i am the only fucking one and I hate that! I hate them. I hate life. Just like you. WE ALL GO THROUGH THIS!!! You seem a lil' pissed off. Because you feel like everybody's telling you the same fucking thing. And nobody cares. WELL do shit that makes you happy and fuck the rest. Thats my advice to you. Thats all you can do at the stage of fucking life!!!!
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ok...i think you should join a club of som sort so that you can interact with people and make friends with people. People will start to notice you if you get out there atalk to people and join clubs and things like that. One way of meeting a new boyfriend is joining a club or just going down to the beach and talk to some one where there is only you and a couple of other random people .. ok .... you need to find something to join ..!!
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no body wants to read long answers so here you go
i sympathize but you have it easy, seriously you might be really sad and depressed but think about how many people have it so much worse. your selfish to take your own like and hurt your family.
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No matter how horribkle you may feel today, you ar eblessed with life and the ability to feel. If it were not for sorrow, we would never know joy. I have had my heart broken more times than I can possibly count. But I put my self out there and allowed myself to be vulnerable and to feel. And I survived it. And I have great memories. My best advice to you is some my mom gave me; try to love yourself; figure out what you enjoy and do it. Feed the ducks. Ride a bike. Sing. Try on make-up. Try on frangrance. Practice making faces at yourself in the mirror. Once you love yourself and know how to be happy (1) you are more loveable and you exude that (2) you will know that no other person can make you happy, but can complement you (think of two right triangles forming a square). Good luck and g-d bless.
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When i was younger, i felt the same ALL OF THE TIME. i would sit on the floor with a knife for hours trying to summon up the courage to do away with myself. Nothing bad had happened to me. I just felt that way. nobody liked me either. but you know what? Fuck them. if they cant see what a good person you are, then its good that they exclude you, then they wont be in your presence. the sad but true fact of life is that the majority of the world are idiots that dont see the potential of others. theres nothing wrong with you and i know how frustrating it is to have peope tell you over and over that things will get better when they never do. it just makes you annoyed. and im not gonna tell you to pray because sometimes you got to go to yourself for the answers. so just try to deal. because if you do die, thats one less good person on this earth. youve got to live your life every day, not anyone else, so as long as you can be satisfied than that should be enough.
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well, let me tell this incident of a person who i know, well it goes like this, his mom committed suicide when this guy was just 10 years old and his sister just 5 yrs old, due to her illness (she had rhuematitis), he was shaken and so was his father who loved his wife a lot, and worst this boy saw his moms dead body hanging on the ceiling (JUST IMAGINE THE IMPACT ON THIS CHILD AT THIS TENDER AGE)............... life wasn't the same after that, his dad did not remarry and thought bringing his children on his own. after that this kid did not get good grades and Tried forge his dads sign on the report card and got caught by his school, which literally ashamed him a lot and worse his dad came to know about this so did every one of is relativeS, his morale aNd respect went down (trust me this kid used get A grades AND used be a top 5 rank holder and was felicitated many times when his mom was alive) not many people spoke to him much HE EVEN TRIED COMMITTING SUICIDE AT THE AGE OF 11, BY GOING CHEMISTS ASKING FOR SLEEPING PILLS, the overdose kills people, things went worse as he was unable to concentrate on studies and became HYPERACTIVE, and he and his sister were looked after by many relatives who sometimes abused him (verbally) a lot, this shattered him........... this boy and his family got relocated to a new place and now this time he had his maternal aunt looking after him and his sister, he did have differences with her, but now its fine. well he wanted become a doctor and studied seriously, but couldn't become one (his moms wish was to see him as a doctor and saving lives of many people). he cried and cried and cried, but everyone lost hope on him started moking him.boys used to beat him up and girls.. took pity on him, you know guys used to take him with them meet their GFs to JUST SHOW THAT THEY G WERE SMARTER AND GOOD LOOKING THAN HIM, TERRIBLE!!!!! but tHis guy was not to feel defeated......... he became spiritual, and THAT DAY HE OPENED HIS EYES, trust I AM NOT FABRICATING, THE DAY HE CONNECTED WITH GOD 'CONSCIOUSLY', things really were different from then on............he did his BACHELORS OF SCIENCE (BSC) in ZOOLOGY, he stood 2ND IN THE WHOLE COLLEGE, he was felicitated well, he had an STRONG AND COMMITTED AFFAIR with one of the most beautiful girls in the college and many girls crooning for him, his friend circle had more girls than boys and his group and affair with that girl was ENVY for the whole college (though they separated mutually now). he then went on to do MASTERS OF SCIENCE MSC/MS in BIOTECHNOLOGY and got A grade in that, later he worked for ONE OF BEST COMPANIES (AOL) and was awarded BEST PERFORMER in just two months but then he wanted to establish more so prepared for MBA and gave the test........SCORED DECENT BUT DID WELL IN HIS GROUP DICUSSION AND PERSONAL INTERVIEW, he got admission in ONE OF THE BEST B-SCHOOLS OF OUR COUNTRY AND CREAM OF OUR STATE. TODAY BY THE GRACE OF GOD, HE IS NOW DOING IS SUMMER INTERNSHIP WITH THE TOPMOST PHARMA COMPANY IN THE COUNTRY AND ONE OF THE BEST IN THE WORLD. AGAIN, THE ALMIGHTY BY HIS SIDE HE ROSE FROM WORST TO BETTER TODAY, AND HIS FATHER STILL DID NOT REMARRY AND BY GOD'S GRACE, HE, HIS SISTER (she is also doing her bachelors in science BSC in Chemistry), HIS DAD AND HIS AUNT ARE HAPPY AND THE ALMIGHTY WILL ALWAYS KEEP THEM HAPPY. phew............................so................................ TELL ME THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN WORSE THAN YOU AND HAD TOUGHEST PHASES IN LIFE BUT TODAy THEY FOUGHT AND ARE HAPPY today and by god's grace (i know you are agnostic, but he was not) will be happy tomorrow, and for times to come. IF HE CAN RISE WHY CAN'T YOU. just because some stupid friend demoralizes you everytime, you belivee her come on BE ASSERTIVE, AGGRESSIVE, LOOK INTO YOURSELF, IS YOUR BRHAVIOUR HURTING MANY PEOPLE, IF YOU ARE RIGhT IN CONDUCT AND YOUR CONSCIENCE IS GOOD, WHY THE HELL CARE ABOUT THE WORLD, THEY WILL LOOK BACK AT YOU WHEN you CHANGE FROM A MEEK TO MERITORIOUS, C'MON, GET UP KNOW YOURSELF AND BE PATIENT, YOU WILL HAVE BOYFRIENDS, FUN, LOVE EVRYTHING, BUT YOU JUST NEED FIND IT YOURSELF, no one WILL provide you.
HE FOUND IT. i don't say pray to god, become religious(JUST ATLEAST, TRUST YOURSELF) etc. just ANALYZE what makes things gO worse for you, WHO IS RESPONSIBLE, YOU? OR OTHERS? can you change the WHOLE SCENARIO, YES YOU CAN .....JUST CHANGE YOUR PERCEPTION THATS ALL. join some social networking sites'myspace.com' and 'orkut.com', you will find new friends. dear friend, i am sorry for such BIG mail, but yours was a serious case and i had to put all this to make you feel better, I WILL BE YOUR GOOD FRIEND, my mail id is ggajendra55@yahoo.com, mail me BE MY GOOD FRIEND, WILL YOU?.......................and by the way that friend of mine IS ME (YES ITS ME WHO HAS COME FROM THOSE HARROWING EXPERIENCES, NEED I SAY MORE?) I DON'T WANT ANY RATING FOR THIS MAIL ( I MEAN IT), TRUST ME I WANT YOU TO CHANGE THATS ALL.
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i understand what youre going through. what you need to do is find things in life that bring you joy. do you like to paint? then do that as often as you can. when you do things that make you happy, you are going to be happy, its simple as that. find something you love to do, and you will enjoy life while you are doing it. if you cant find any friends at your school, look other places. try signing up for a club or a sport not at your school. that way you will be meeting new people who have the same interests as you. dont worry about not having a bf. if a guy doesnt realize what he could have by going out with you, then he isnt worth your time anyways. you want a boyfriend and friends who will appreciate you for who you are, and value you as a person. you need people who will be there for you and support you. i understand if you have decided to be agnostic, and dont think you will change your mind. im not going to try to change your mind. but i will offer some encouraging lyrics from a song called "me and jesus" by stellar kart. "someone loves you, even when you dont think so, dont you know youve got me and jesus, by your side through the fight, you will never be alone, on your own, youve got me and jesus" whether you believe in jesus or not, he is always there for you and he loves you. dont give up. you are here for a reason. it isnt a mistake that you are here. you have a purpose. dont risk losing the chance to find out what you can do for the world. if you ever need someone to talk to you can email me at viciousxpunk@yahoo.com remember, you matter and you are here for a reason.
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Hi,
I understand. What you're dealing with is depression - a really powerful disorder in which your brain chemistry is not how it should be. Its not your fault that you're feeling this way - depression is a disease just like diabetes and it isn't something you can simply will away. I know you have a healthy distrust of mental health professionals, as did I (for good reason right?). The unfortunate truth is that there is a real range of competencies in the mental health field and it takes a while to find someone who you click with. Depression also affects your motivation so its doubly hard to persist in your quest to find someone who is good, and who you can relate to. HOWEVER, the good news is that once you do, it will be so worth it. It will be life changing.
So, if you're serious about wanting to improve your quality of life (and I'm assuming you are since wanting to die isn't really a pleasant state to be in), I suggest the following.
1. Tell yourself right now that you deserve to be happy and that you are going to do something about it. I know that sounds cheesy but do it. And keep doing it. Over and over again. You have to start overriding that voice in your head that tells you that you're not good enough and life will never be good.
2. Make an appointment with your doctor - this is important. Do it. Or have your parents do it if they're going to need to go with you (ie you can't drive yet). Tell the receptionist/your parents that you need to make an appointment to talk to the doctor about your mental health. If they press you further, say that you're having a hard time and need some help. If your parents won't take you, go alone. Find some way to go, even if its difficult.
When you go in, tell the doctor how you're feeling (or maybe print out what you wrote above and bring it in). Tell the doctor that you've tried counseling by itself (without also taking a prescription antidepressant)and that you haven't had much luck. Tell him/her that you need to try something else. Perhaps antidepressants (I know you may be reluctant to do this but remember, depression is an imbalance of chemicals in your brain and antidepressants may be necessary, at least for a while). If they say that they won't prescribe antidepressants without you seeing a counselor, then fine. Go to the counselor too. Sometimes getting mental health care means jumping through a lot of hoops, but DO it. Persist in getting what you need. It will be worth it!!
3. Keep us posted on how you're doing. I was in your place once and know how horrible it is. Please don't give up!
-Oh yeah, and at some point, dump that "friend." No friends are better than toxic friends.
Good luck - and remember that it may take a while to get what you need, but you will.
TC
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I was like this in 5th grade. No one wanted to be around me, evertime I had a boyfriend, a couple weeks later, we would break up. I had no friends whatsoever. Then I got introduced to msn messenger. I met a bunch of people and they became friends, then Myspace, Aim, blah blah blah. This was during the summer. When I went back to school, I was in 6th grade, I was totally different. I had alot of friends. Now I'm in 8th grade, and I have ALOT of friends. I can always start you off. Here's some urls for you.
www.myspace.com/blessthebrokenroad3397
My msn messenger is brittany025@hotmail.com I can start you off.
Good luck!
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