Member Since: July 4, 2007
Answers: 1
Last Update: July 4, 2007
Visitors: 370
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i can't take life. i honestly can't. every morning when i wake up i'll try to think of something good that might happen today, but the truth is it's just another damn day. where i'm still my miserable and lonely self. everything in life is too disappointing. I don't have friends or a boyfriend, well i used to have a "friend" but she always tried really hard to make me feel worse about myself. Just now she even asked my "why?" when after she said that guys stare at her 24/7 and I told her they do the same to me. She's such a hurtful bitch.
Every time i have a date set up w/ someone who is interested in me, HE BREAKS THE FREAKING DATE. So all my relationships end before they really begin. See it's just my luck.
I want to commit suicide but I can't because I'm afraid of the pain.
Please don't say anything like "Oh everyone feels this way sometimes." because i feel this way ALL the time. all the god damn time.
people ignore/exclude me whenever they can. i don't even do anything bad/mean.
and also please don't say "oh honey everything's gonna be okay things will get better!"
because i've already heard that too much.
therapists/counselors don't help me. i've seen too many of them. can i be put to sleep or something? like a dog? is that possible?
what can i do to take life? i just want to die so badly. don't say anything like "oh just pray about everything and it'll be okay." I'm not a christian and i never will be again. i'm agnostic because it's the only true religion.
it's not like i've had any horrible tragedies or anything, but i still am just as miserable as anyone who has had them!
god i want to die. help. (link)
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Hi,
I understand. What you're dealing with is depression - a really powerful disorder in which your brain chemistry is not how it should be. Its not your fault that you're feeling this way - depression is a disease just like diabetes and it isn't something you can simply will away. I know you have a healthy distrust of mental health professionals, as did I (for good reason right?). The unfortunate truth is that there is a real range of competencies in the mental health field and it takes a while to find someone who you click with. Depression also affects your motivation so its doubly hard to persist in your quest to find someone who is good, and who you can relate to. HOWEVER, the good news is that once you do, it will be so worth it. It will be life changing.
So, if you're serious about wanting to improve your quality of life (and I'm assuming you are since wanting to die isn't really a pleasant state to be in), I suggest the following.
1. Tell yourself right now that you deserve to be happy and that you are going to do something about it. I know that sounds cheesy but do it. And keep doing it. Over and over again. You have to start overriding that voice in your head that tells you that you're not good enough and life will never be good.
2. Make an appointment with your doctor - this is important. Do it. Or have your parents do it if they're going to need to go with you (ie you can't drive yet). Tell the receptionist/your parents that you need to make an appointment to talk to the doctor about your mental health. If they press you further, say that you're having a hard time and need some help. If your parents won't take you, go alone. Find some way to go, even if its difficult.
When you go in, tell the doctor how you're feeling (or maybe print out what you wrote above and bring it in). Tell the doctor that you've tried counseling by itself (without also taking a prescription antidepressant)and that you haven't had much luck. Tell him/her that you need to try something else. Perhaps antidepressants (I know you may be reluctant to do this but remember, depression is an imbalance of chemicals in your brain and antidepressants may be necessary, at least for a while). If they say that they won't prescribe antidepressants without you seeing a counselor, then fine. Go to the counselor too. Sometimes getting mental health care means jumping through a lot of hoops, but DO it. Persist in getting what you need. It will be worth it!!
3. Keep us posted on how you're doing. I was in your place once and know how horrible it is. Please don't give up!
-Oh yeah, and at some point, dump that "friend." No friends are better than toxic friends.
Good luck - and remember that it may take a while to get what you need, but you will.
TC
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