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Mother's Boyfriend
My mother's boyfriend is very inconsiderate to my little sister and I. He seems to think that anything that we have to say can not possibly be more important than what he might be saying, even if we need help with our homework or are cooking dinner and can't find something. He also does not seem to think that the rules of the house apply to him. Another big problem is his phone behavior. He will call while one of us is on the phone with a friend (we have call waiting) and when we tell him that we are on the phone and that we will have our mother call him when we are done, he still calls back about ever five minutes. He has done this when we were on the phone long distance, and we finallly got irate and yelled at him (he had called back six times, we counted) Then when he talked to our mother, he told her that we were rude to him. We have told all of these things to our mother over the last two years, to no avail. How can we get her to break up with this jerk?
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Convince your mom that he's not the one not by just details you will need proof to get him out of the picture.Like get a recorder,but don't let him see it,ask him something like to help you with something,make him say something really mean and for sure she'll have to get rid of a guy that has no respect for her children.
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hey,
You shouldn't be thinking of how to make your mother break up with this guy, because your mother might be happy and wants to be with him.
On the other hand, i suggest that you simply stay out of his way, and don't talk to him at all, if he wants to make a call,then he can do whatever he wants, and if he wants to act in a silly behaviour, then let him do whatever he wants, and don't show him that you care, because all i say is someone like him acting like a kid, a naive person.
So if you want to call someone or talk to your mom or do anything that he doesn't approve of when he is around,then do it when he is not around.
More and more, why don't you consider building a relationship between you and him, you could sit and talk with him, and tell him about stuff that are going on in your life, and share jokes with him, and make him feel that he is a part of he family, and not just someone who invaded in on it.
He just wants someone to love him and care for him, and make him feel that he's welcome. He maybe a little naive and has some characters that are unbearable. But every person has good and bad characters, and since you spotted the bad ones, then why don't you try to find his good ones. Please consider this, try to talk with him and ask about him, and know him better, because sometimes a person is fooled by the outside personality of the opposite person, but if you sit and know him better, then you will be knowing him from inside and from his real personality. So goodluck:) and try to consider all i said.
And if there are any other troubles, problems, worries or concerns, then please be free to contact me.
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I think that by wanting to break them up you are going about this the wrong way. I do not know what your mom's situation is but alot of the time that women remain in relationships with men who are obviously not a good "fit" for the rest of the family is because the mom thinks that he is her "last chance".
By fighting the relationship you may be pushing your mom towards him, sounds stupid I know but it happens all the time. If I were you I would totally distance myself from him, by maybe ignoring him as much as possible, when he calls and you are the phone I would tell him that your mom is in the bathroom or has stepped out to the store and that you will give her the message. If he continues to call don't answer the call waiting, as hard as it is ignore it.
When he is in your house keep in mind that this is YOUR house, don't make things easy for him if you need to ask your mom something ask her and if he interrupts politely tell him in front of your mom that you are speaking to her and it will only take a minute.
By doing these things he will get the message that he is not only dating your mom but is also involved with the family. Also reminding your mom that she is a beautiful, smart, valuable women may encourage her to find someone who loves her and treats her with respect, when he disrespects you he disrespects her as well.
Sorry this is so long, Hope it helps.
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well my friend austin kind of went through the same situation but his might be a little different.See at first he hated his moms boyfriend but then they started to ask him kindly to do fun things with them(ex.go out to eat)and after a few years he and his sister relized that this guy was pretty cool.but if things never change beetween you and him then maybe you should try telling another member of your family about what he is doing and they can talk to your mom b/c usually adults will listen to other adults
Another idea that austin my friend came up with is that you can keep a journal(notebook)and write about things that he does and leave it out in the open where your mom might look at it and in austins case his mom sat him down and talked about the issues going on beetween him and his moms boyfriend.
~Erin (fargo)
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Unfortunately, I'm not sure that there is a way to get your mom to break-up with him. Your mom is a grown-up and probably feels like she doesn't have to answer to you and your sister.
It is pretty lame that he treats you and sister so badly. The only piece of sound advice I think I can give to you is to talk to him and your mom about how you feel. Calmly voicing your concerns and stating certain examples may help them to see exactly how you feel and why. I would use a lot of 'feeling statements,' like: "When you call the house 5 or 6 times after I have told you I am on the phone, it makes me feel like you don't think my call is important."
I don't think trying to get your mom to break-up with him is right route to take. Your mom may not think that he's a jerk, and when you or your sister try to tell her that he is, she may think the two of you are resentful that she is dating.
Bottom Line: Your mom is an adult, and if her mind is made-up to date this man, I don't see anything you and your sister doing or saying changing that fact. If I were you, I would just try to make my feelings know and smooth out my relationship with her boyfriend.
I hope things work out for you guys!
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Hello,
You really have quite a dilemma here. My advice to you would be to confront him exactly how you wrote this on the webisite. Tell him what you do not appreciate, and tell him that if his behavior persists, your relationship with him will end.
While this sounds drastic and while he might not take it seriously, your Mother may have to confront the situation when she sees that you guys end your relationship with him, by all costs, immeadiately if his behavior does not change. She cannot have a boyfriend who cannot get along with her children. So he shapes up, or will have to, ship out!
Be persistent and firm in your giving him the message after the first intervention with him.
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