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Stressed out, little hope
Hi,
Long story short.. my parents are divorced, I live with my mom whom I do not get along with. I would rather live by myself (not with my dad cuz that would create more conflict with my mom), but just in my own house with myself. I have had kidney failure my whole life so I have to visit the doctor a fair bit.
I've had my share of bad days. I only ever had one true friend.. that ended up using me for my brother. My mom likes this betrayer more than me and she treats my younger sister as the daughter she never had. (theres only two girls, my younger sister and I).
I am in grade 12 and I am trying so hard to make it through my classes and my life, but with all the stress of my mom, my older asshole brother, my cheeky younger sister, no friends (except for the 'one' who sleeps with my bro every weekend when he comes home), I don't have anything to hold onto. I just want to get through this year without killing myself (not literally, but inside) and being able to know that when I get on the other side, something greater will be waiting.. and maybe it won't hurt just to touch it.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
No matter how parents treat us or how they sometimes favour one of their children, or how they not seem to care or how your brother seems like an a-hole or how your sister seems cheeky, in the very end, beneath all that, you all love each other, one way or another, and maybe you can't see that, because of all the differences and all what all of you have been through, you all just grew apart and there is anger or very little hatred or jealousy, but there is still love and you all love each other, but things are hard, and your house seems in pretty bad shape and lots of problems.
About your brother, and i know how sometimes its very bad when your best friend hooks up with your brother, but maybe she wasn't 'using' you in the exact meaning of using someone, maybe she liked him and wanted to get to know him through you,because apparently that's the only way,and maybe its not about her sleeping with him, its about they like each other, they're inlove, maybe.
About your cheeky sister, don't let it out on her, its not her fault that your mom favours her, try to be nice to her, get close to her, and try to get close to your brother, try to be cool about your brother and your friend dating, cause maybe when you get closer, you'll see things differently, and maybe then your brother wouldn't be such an a-hole. And maybe if you get closer to your little sister, you'd get closer to your mom, and see that has nothing to do with using your sister, its to do with getting close to someone through someone else. And talk to your mom, be there, maybe she's having a hard time or she's upset or i don't know, you never know. Try to not fight and try to actually get along, hold diplomatic conversations.
And at the very end, studying is the most important thing you have right now, cause its your only ticket out, and away from all this trouble and problems and misery. So focus on your studies and try to occupy your time as much as you can, and just be diplomatic with everyone, stay away from fights and trouble, so no one would hold anything against you, and soon, very soon, you'll be out of there, so there is actually something worth all what you're going through.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else, please be free to contact me. Best of luck!
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Hello there,
I don't really have a lot of advice on how to fix your situation but I can tell you this..
Life is how you make it! You control what happens in your life and the outcome (good or bad) is because of your choices. I know that you said moving in with your dad will cause conflict with your mum, but if you feel like you don't 'fit in' then think of yourself.
It's not selfish to want to be happy!
You seem like you've got the right idea with your studies and being in year 12, added stressors are the last thing you need. Move in with your dad! Just as a trial basis even!
As for the friends issue, again, life is how you make it! For every person in the world, there is someone! Whether that be a friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, relative! Go out and find friends, those people might not realise the hurt you have inside, they aren't mind readers. I am sure there are thousands of others out there who wish they had a friend too. Go find one!
Good luck! Hope everything works out for the best!
Roxy :D
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It sounds like you really need someone to talk to. You need to see a therapist or a counselor. I know it seems like an awkward idea, but believe me, a therapist can work wonders. It is someone you can talk to who has absolutely no stake in your life and no reason to favor anyone, even you. They'll just listen and maybe bounce back some ideas. It may sound simple, but it can change your life. Your parents are divorced and its affected you in some big ways. Don't think it hasn't affected your brother and sister also. The way you see them acting may be a direct result of all the feelings they (and you) have had to deal with over the divorce. Maybe no one even realizes how lonely you feel. That's another reason you should see someone. A therapist can help you come up with constructive ways to reach out to your family. Tell your Mom you'd like to get counseling. If you think she would feel offended if you told her it was for your family issues, tell her you would like to talk to a professional about the medical issues you've had all your life and how that affects you. You can be better. You can feel better. This is your life, and there's nothing you can do to change that. And, in the future, you'll see that you wouldn't want to change it even if you could, because all of this will shape you into a better person.
Good Luck to you. Things will get better, but you're going to have to be the one to make them that way.
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