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Well, I know that rebounding is no good, but I made the mistake of rushing into something :/. Yesterday I found out my ex boyfriend was out with this girl that he used to like (and who i know he likes now) and just hearing this made me break down. I knew I had to talk to someone, so I ended up talking to this guy who I have always had a thing for. On the phone I told him what I found out and how I felt sad and he kind of cheered me up. Then out of nowhere I told him that even though I'm not over my ex, I kind of like him! Ahh so today at school I was hanging out with my ex and my friend. My friend has a class with the guy I like so I asked her if he said anything...but my ex was confused and when I told him he seemed to change his mood. :/ I didn't think I was hurting his feelings because he flat out told me to move on because he doesn't see me as anything but a friend. My question is, was it a bad idea to tell him? Should I never bring up guys in front of him??

P.S. The guy who I like told me that he likes someone at the moment, so it didn't work out.

Thanks!

No, I don't think it's a bad idea to tell your ex that you like someone else. As long as you're not obviously doing it just to make him jealous (which he would probably see right through). But casually mentioning it, or letting him overhear you talk about it with a friend, is fine. Especially since he told you to move on, and since he's seeing someone else.

Will it make him feel bad or jealous? Well, possibly a little. But he'll have to deal with that. Sometimes, even if you don't want to be with your ex anymore, you still feel weird seeing them with someone else. It's like, "I don't want her, but I don't want anyone else to have her, either." Which is silly, but that's sometimes how people feel about their exes. That may be what yours is feeling. But hey, he let you go, so he has to deal with any feelings that causes him. Just don't blatantly rub it in his face.

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14/f ok i have a question about homecoming...well i was going with a guy as a friend but he brought me a corsage and he bought my ticket for me and i was wondering if this means anything but i dont like him i like another guy so im really confused....

I wouldn't worry about it. It's normal for a guy to buy his date's ticket and a corsage - even if they're just going as friends. Of course, it's possibilty that he could have feelings for you... but I wouldn't take the ticket and corsage as a sure sign of that. If he DOES like you as more than friends, he'll probably give you other signs.

Now, just a quick word about going to dances with a friend. My friend just went to homecoming with a guy - as friends. It started out great - he picked her up, gave her a corsage, and they went out to dinner with a bunch of people. But once they got to the dance, he totally ditched her. He danced with this other girl all night, and before the dance was over, he's asked that girl out. My friend felt horrible! It's not that she liked him, but it was insulting and embarrassing to be ignored by the guy who brought you - even if he's just a friend.

Soooo... even if you feel free to talk and dance with other people, be sure to remember that you're there with your friend, and give him a fair share of your attention. =)

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how do I tell a girl I like her even though she has a boyfriend?

Well, let's imagine that you and this girl are going out, and you're so happy. And then another guy starts talking to her, or flirting with her, and tells her that he likes her. How would you feel about that? Probably not very good. You'd think he was a big jerk - and you might even feel like pounding his face in. Because what he did just isn't right.

If it's wrong for someone else to do, then you shouldn't do it, either. As long as she has a boyfriend, you shouldn't say anything.

That doesn't mean you can't talk to her. Go ahead and develop your friendship. Let her get to know you and see what a great guy you are. At some point, they're going to break up - and then she's fair game. But until then, you should keep your feelings to yourself. It's the classy thing to do.

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how I can get my boyfriend back when he only give excuses about seen each other again

If he's making excuses about why he can't see you, it's because he doesn't want to see you. If he really wanted to be with you, he'd do whatever it takes to be with you.

There may be some "tricks" you could use to make him go out with you again, but honestly, do you really want a boyfriend who isn't sure he likes you? Of course you don't. You want someone who is so totally crazy about you that he'll do anything to be with you. Unfortunately, as much as you like this guy, he doesn't seem to be the one.

You need to put him behind you and move on. Stop dwelling on him and put him out of your mind. Focus on the important things in your life - friends, family, school, sports, or whatever your interests are. Think about all the great things you have going for you, and you'll realize you don't need this guy after all. If you have that attitude - if you're confident and sure of yourself and value yourself for all the great things you are - that's going to make you a much more attractive person... and then you'll be able to choose whichever guy you want. And it will be a guy who truly deserves you. And who knows, maybe your ex-boyfriend will realize what he's missing and want you back? And then YOU can decide whether you want him or not!

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16 f

How do you know when a guy is trying to get inside your pants? Like what are the signs that lead to this conclusion?

Well, the truth is, every guy *wants* to get in your pants. And most guys will try. Some will try more aggressively than others, while some guys will back off if they meet with resistance... either because they don't think they have a chance, or because they really like and respect you. But either way, all guys are thinking that they'd like to get in your pants, and will do it if given the chance.

So the question you should really be asking is, How do you know when a guy ONLY wants to get in your pants? Well, it's not too hard to figure out. He'll pressure you to do more than what you want to do; he'll imply that he will dump you if you won't do it; whenever you're together, all he'll want to do is mess around, and if you don't want to, he'll get upset or stop giving you any attention.

A guy who really likes and cares about you for YOU will respect your limits. He'll stick with you no matter what. And yes, he may try from time to time to take things a little further (that's only natural), but if you say no, he'll accept that and won't pressure you.

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as you all know, school is coming to an end in one month and i really want to get some guy's number before school ends. There are 3 guys that i currently have a crush on and i was wondering if you could gimme advice on how to get a guy in less than a month. it doesn't even have to be a dating relationship, a friendship would be great too. help please

Yearbooks are great for that kind of thing. Leave your phone number in their yearbook, and ask them to jot down their number in yours, too!

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well me and my x-boo are still very good freinds but hes dating my friend and today in school his gf wasn't there so me and him kinda started holing hands and he was putting his ahnd on my leg and stuff like that, but shes moving at the end of the year and he wants to be with me know but he wants to be with her too, and i don't know what to do about it, do you think that you could help me out?
f/15/fl
samantha

Moving is always pretty traumatic, especially if you're leaving a boyfriend and friends behind. Imagine how much worse she'd feel is she found out her boyfriend was already messing around with someone else? I know you like him, but you should wait it out. She'll be gone soon enough, and then you'll have him all to yourself.

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13/F so my freind for a long time likes me and i dont like. like that and i kinda like. but im still young im 13 and i dont kno how to date yet and i dont kno wut to do

Let him know that you really like him as a friend, but that you don't want to have a boyfriend right now. But that you want to continue being friends with him.

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Well, i went out w/ this guy for 2.5 months, and then i broke up w. him, cause he said to another girl i'll break up w/ her if you'll go out w/ me, and then i broke up w/ him and then he said that that was a stupis reason to break up w/ him, and then he started going out w/ another girl (who's one of my best friends) not even to days after we broke up. And now i lke another guy. And i think that my ex is mad at me, so would you be mad and do you have any good advice about how to ask out a guy?

You did the right thing by breaking up with him. He basically asked another girl out while he was still going out with you. And in a way, that's like cheating. (What he should've done is break up with you first, and then talk to the other girl about going out). So no, your reason was not stupid at all. It was completely justified.

So anyway... now you like someone else. And your ex has a new girlfriend. So does it really matter if he's mad at you? He has no reason to be! Your relationship is over - because of him - and you're both moving on. So don't let him get into your head and control your emotions. Focus on the future and this new guy you like. At some point, you might be able to be friends with your ex again, but that will probably take some time. In the meantime, put him behind you and look toward what's ahead of you.

As for asking a guy out... I'm sorry I don't have any good advice on that, because I'm kinda old fashioned that way. I think guys generally prefer to do the asking out, and in my experience, it usually works out better if you let them. But not everyone agrees with me, and I know lots of girls ask guys out and it works out fine. I just don't have much good experience with it, so I'll let someone else answer that part of your question.

Good luck! =]

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Whenever a guy calls me pretty, or hot, or even cute I feel really insecure about myself. It annoys me more than anything and I would just rather them notice that I'm funny, or that I'm nice or something. Almost like..I have nothing else thats attractive to you? Anyone else get what I'm talking about? I'm 16 and I've asked my friends and they say NO THAT'S A COMPLIMENT! HE THINKS YOU'RE CUTE!
I'd rather they just not say anything. I feel insecure being around guys that tell me I'm good looking because I feel like if I'm not looking so great at that moment, I have nothing to offer. Do all guys think that girls want to hear "You're hot" because quite frankly, I get distant from guys who say things like that to me.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Well, think of it this way. Say you're shopping for a new car. And you find one that has great gas mileage, top ratings for safety and reliability, a comfortable interior, and fully loaded with all the features you want. And it also happens to be a gorgeous color and really sharp looking. Bonus!

So you take it out, and your friends say, "Wow, your car is so pretty!" Would you be offended, or think they're shallow, because they only mentioned its looks and not its great gas mileage? Of course not! Because you know that the appearance of the car is just the first thing people notice. Surely they know there's other, more important aspects to a car... but unless you tell them about those features, they might not fully appreciate it. They'll only see the outer shell.

It's the same thing with you. Everyone knows that there's a lot more to you than just your looks. But that's what they notice first... and if they admire it, it's only natural to comment on it. Of course they know there are a lot of other qualities that make you who you are. But if you don't let them see what's inside, then how will they know what's there? If you shut yourself off to them just because they say you're pretty, they'll never have the chance to appreciate all your other wonderful qualities. All they'll be able to say is, "Yeah, she's a pretty girl."

So don't blame these guys for saying you're pretty. You are! But you're other things, too. Just think of your beauty, and the interest it sparks, as an opening to show others what else you've got. They'll still think you're pretty, but they'll appreciate the rest of you, too.

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okay well i went out with this boy a few weeks ago. We broke up because he wanted to make out after one day and i said sure tommorrow when we hangout he said okay then he couldnt hang and we broke up the next day to make out with another girl. They madeout like 20 times and i didnt like him until today when i saw him. I have also seen him like a million times before and liked other boys. Now i like like him again and i want to makeout with him or go out with him. But i dont know if he likes me and i dont have the guts to ask him. so please give me tips.
and i dont care if i sound whorish.
and sorry its realy long.

I'm sorry, but... no, he doesn't like you. He might want to make out with you, but that's it. If he really liked you (the way you want him to like you), he'd like you whether you were making out or not.

Don't make the mistake of thinking that if you make out with him, he'll suddenly start liking you. It just doesn't work that way. If anything, it will make him like you even less, because he'll lose respect for you. That's because the message you'd be sending is, "I'm so desperate to go out with you that I'll do anything." Guys aren't attracted to desperate girls. They're attracted to confident girls who know what they're worth and won't settle for less.

Better to leave him thinking, "Dang, I lost my chance with her because I acted like an idiot." At least he'll have some respect for you, and you'll still have some for yourself as well.

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ohkayy.so i really really like this guy but he treats me like crap and has cheated on mee.well.i cant brake up with him.!!!!!!!!bc i wud brake down and cry in front of him....and i REFUSE 2 do that.!!!!!soo.i need some way 2 get him 2 brake up with me and i will not cheat on him...!!!!but i cant figure out ne other wayy.!!!HELP....

Hmmm... well, when you start going out with someone, it's sort of like making a contract that you're going to be faithful to one another. If your boyfriend has cheated on you, then technically, he's already broken up with you... because he broke that contract. So go ahead and tell him that. You can tell him, "When you made the choice to be with that other girl, you were also choosing not to be with me. So it looks like it's over between us." And if he asks, "Are you breaking up with me?", you can say, "No, you already broke up with me when you cheated on me. I just didn't realize it until now, but you made the choice, and it's over."

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Ohkayy.This boy ive been dating for 3 months has been lying 2 me a lot here lately but Im totaly in love with me.He tried 2 cheat on me a couple of timess.Well this boy I dated fer over a year cheated on me with sumbody and then just broke up with me.wel I never got over him I still love this boy more than ever.and he just called me last nightt.and told me he really liked me and wants 2 get back 2 gether.!Well i have no clue what 2 do I love them both very much.Do I stay with who Im with or this other boyy.?Im so confusedd......

You obviously have a lot of love to give. So why not give it to someone who is going to love you back? Someone who is so crazy about you that he would never do anything to risk losing you? That's the kind of guy you want, right?

In order for a guy to feel that way about you, he has to value and respect you. But if you don't value and respect yourself, no guy is going to, either. If you let a guy lie and cheat on you, the message you're sending is: "I'm not good enough to be treated right, so I'll accept someone who treats me badly." And if a guy thinks that YOU feel that way about your own worth, then he'll feel that way, too.

So my advice is: ditch the lying boyfriend; tell your ex that he had his chance, but he blew it; and look for someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. That will show everyone that you know you deserve of an honest, faithful boyfriend and that you won't settle for anything less. If guys see that YOU feel you're worthy of the best, they will feel that way about you, too.



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16/f
alright so, ive been dating this guy for 2 1/2 months, and i dont love him is that normal? like.. if i dont love him by now should i brake up with him.. what would other people do? everyone around me is saying to brake up with him.. i do like him a lot i just dont love him..


thanks.

Well, if you were thinking of marrying this guy, but didn't love him, then yeah... I'd say you might want to call it off. But at 16, I'm guessing that you're not planning any long term future together. You're dating. So what if you're not madly in love with him? If you like him and enjoy being with him, then why not continue having fun with him as long as you want to? That's what dating is all about.

On the other hand, if it starts to become apparent that his feelings for you are a lot stronger than yours are for him, and he wants things to get more serious than you want to, then it would be best to call things off. That way he can move on to someone who will return his feelings... and you can move on as well.

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I dont know how to break up with this guy! My friend dared me to date him, but it got out of hand... and i dont know what to do!
Should i tell him it was just a dare?
HELP!!!!!!
HELP!!!!!! he is driving me nuts and i dont know what to do about it
I dont want to hurt him
but i dont really like him...at all.in fact i hate him! i dont no how to break up!
i am leaving on may 20 so should i just stick it out until i leave?
once agian, HELP!!!!

No, you shouldn't tell him it was a dare... that would really hurt his feelings. Just tell him that you've realized that you don't have the same feelings for him that he has for you, and that you think it'd be better if you were just friends. I know you hate to hurt him, but it's better to do it now instead of waiting. The longer you drag it out, the more attached he might become... and then it will hurt him even more. So do him a favor... break up with him now, and let him start getting over you so he can move on.

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Well me and my boyfreind arent talking at them moment well lets start with the basics. Im 14 this is like my 30th boyfreind I swear it just never works out me and him have been dating for 1 year. He wants to go all the way and im not ready for the responslablty of a babie if I get pregant and im jsut not ready so what should I do he said he wanted to dump me but I love him he is the only guy I ever told I loved i mean plenty of guys had said I love you but i didnt say it back.

You're right. You should not have sex with him if you're not ready. And I can't help but add, you shouldn't have sex with him even if you DO think you're ready, because honestly, 14 is just too young. But that's beside the point. The truth is, sleeping with a guy just to "keep" him just doesn't work. And especially if he's said he's gonna dump you if you don't do it. If he doesn't love you enough to stick with you without sex, he's not gonna suddenly start loving you just because you're having sex. He may like what you're giving him (for a while at least), but he's not going to like YOU any more than he did before. And eventually he will move on. So stick to your guns and do what you know is right. I know you really like him, but if he doesn't care about you enough to honor your decisions, then he's just not worth it.

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I have a boy friend, we've been together for a while, in my eyes he's close to perfect. I love him so much and I know it everytime I look into his eyes or even just hearing his voice when he calls me on the phone. When I'm with him I don't think about anyone else.

But there's this other guy in my college and he's a really cool guy, and I find myself attracted to him and thinking about him, I wouldn't make a move, but I find myself daydreaming about what it would be like if we could be together...

Part of me feels guilty, because I love my boyfriend and I agreed to be in a monogamous relationship with him, and with that promise, i would NEVER cheat on him or anything.

But why do I still feel this way for someone else?
Am I a bad girlfriend for it?

No, you're not a bad girlfriend... you're just a normal human being. This sort of thing happens to everyone once in a while, even people who are happily married. Because the truth is, being in love with someone doesn't stop you from being attracted to other people. There are tons of nice, funny, good-looking guys out there, and of course you're going to notice them. It doesn't mean you love your boyfriend any less, or that you're doing anything wrong... it's just the way nature works. So you shouldn't feel guilty about it.

The important thing is that you don't act on it. Some people have a hard time with that... they think that being attracted to someone somehow makes it okay, or even necessary, to follow through with their feelings, regardless of the consequences. But of course it's not okay... just like it's not okay to steal something just because you really want it.

Sometimes it can be hard to resist tempatation, though. If you find yourself really obsessing over this guy - but you know that you want to stay faithful to your boyfriend - you may have to make an effort to distance yourself from him for a while. Avoid seeing him or talking to him if you have to, and by all means, don't let him know how you feel about him. Eventually, this crush will pass, and you'll be happy you didn't act on it.

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I guess the answer is quite obvious but as always, fool in like always think up of excuses only until the truth is blatantly staring at you in your face.

so, anyhow
there's this guy that I recently met at the wakeboarding group.
Our group meets up once a forthnight to wakeboard.
Previously he asked me if I wanted to go wakeboard with him, but because someone interrupted the conversation, it kinda stopped there.

So when our group met up again 2 days ago, I casually asked him 'so , when do you want to go wakeboarding'. His reply was 'Anytime, just give me a call.' so of course I whipped out my mobile all ready to exchange numbers. But he doesn't take his out and instead give me his number. And NEVER asked me back for mine.

So please hit me in the face and wake me up guys and gals. Does this simply mean that he's just not that into me, or not into me at all?
I kinda thought that getting a person's number is imperative if you like him/her.


confused. boo.

Well, you could be right. Or, maybe he's just a little on the shy side, and is sitting there waiting for you to call him. There's only one way to find out. Text him, and just say "Hey, what's up?". Or if you don't text, give him a call. Think up some stupid excuse if you need to (ie; "do you know what time our next meeting is?"). That's all you need to do. Once he's got your number, you can sit back and see what he does with it. Then you'll have your answer. =]

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14/f
this guy was gonna ask me out but i said no because of my parents(but i liked him). its not that im not allowed to date its just there pretty strict and then my whole family would end up knowing, and they make it a bigger deal then it actually is. what should i do? because what if this happens again, and i really wanted to say yes. and i cant hide it from my parents

Hmmm... I think you should try talking to your parents about it. And do it now, before there's another actual guy involved. Just sit them down and tell them you'd like to have a nice, friendly discussion about dating. And then be totally honest with them... say, "There have been a few guys who have wanted to ask me out, and even though I really wanted to, I said no because I'm worried that you guys will make a huge deal about it, or do something that will embarrass me." (Remember, your parents were teenagers once, too, so they can certainly understand what it's like to be embarrassed by parents.)

Tell them that you understand there will be certain ways they'd like YOU to behave when it comes to dating... but that there are also certain ways you'd like THEM to behave. Then give them some examples of situations, and ask them how they would react... for instance, "If a guy calls and asks me to a movie, how will you act? And how would you like me to act?" And then talk about it in a nice, calm way, and see if you can all come to an agreement and set some "rules" for each other.

But like I said, it's best to do it now, when you're talking about "if and when". If you wait until a guy you're crazy about has asked you out, both you and your parents will be more emotional about it, and it will be harder to talk about it calmly.

Good luck!

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okay so me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 3 years off and on. Just recentley we found out that we were FOURTH COUSINS! it really bothered us both. we broke up cause of it, and im so upset, cause i really wanted our relationship to grow, and i wanted us to be together. he wants us to be together also. but i jus tell him no, cause i dont want my family to know. and it wood just be too secretive, ya know? but i really want to be with him. i honestley do love this boy. is that nasty? whats your opinion on this situation? what would you do?

Fourth cousins is very distant. Most people don't even know who their 3rd cousins are, let alone their fourth, fifth, etc. But just because you don't know who they are, doesn't mean they aren't out there. If you were to trace the family trees of everyone in your school, you'd probably find that you're related to at least half of them in one way or another.

Think about it... your great-great-great grandparents probably have 100s of descendants living today. That means that anyone you meet on the street *could* be your fourth cousin. But since most people don't wear their family tree pasted on their forehead, you'd never know it. And because of that, a lot of people end up marrying a distant cousin. I read a statistic somewhere that said something like 60% of Americans marry someone who's related to them in some way.

If it still bothers you, here's another thing to think about. Back in the old days, it was very common to for people to marry their FIRST cousin. It was actually encouraged and expected in many families. But then, around the early 1900s, some scientists said that marrying a first cousin could cause birth defects. So it became a big taboo and was even outlawed in some places. Now, however, they've discovered this isn't true at all... first cousins have no greater risk of having children with birth defects than anyone else. So the whole taboo thing was based on false information. But even so, that only pertained to first cousins. Anything more distant is, and always has been, just fine.

So don't worry about it! =]

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