14/f
this guy was gonna ask me out but i said no because of my parents(but i liked him). its not that im not allowed to date its just there pretty strict and then my whole family would end up knowing, and they make it a bigger deal then it actually is. what should i do? because what if this happens again, and i really wanted to say yes. and i cant hide it from my parents
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? Jeanne answered Saturday April 19 2008, 7:08 pm: Hmmm... I think you should try talking to your parents about it. And do it now, before there's another actual guy involved. Just sit them down and tell them you'd like to have a nice, friendly discussion about dating. And then be totally honest with them... say, "There have been a few guys who have wanted to ask me out, and even though I really wanted to, I said no because I'm worried that you guys will make a huge deal about it, or do something that will embarrass me." (Remember, your parents were teenagers once, too, so they can certainly understand what it's like to be embarrassed by parents.)
Tell them that you understand there will be certain ways they'd like YOU to behave when it comes to dating... but that there are also certain ways you'd like THEM to behave. Then give them some examples of situations, and ask them how they would react... for instance, "If a guy calls and asks me to a movie, how will you act? And how would you like me to act?" And then talk about it in a nice, calm way, and see if you can all come to an agreement and set some "rules" for each other.
But like I said, it's best to do it now, when you're talking about "if and when". If you wait until a guy you're crazy about has asked you out, both you and your parents will be more emotional about it, and it will be harder to talk about it calmly.
cloudy_conscience answered Saturday April 19 2008, 7:02 pm: You shouldn't hide anything from your parents, but maybe you could try talking to them about it and letting them know that you are interested in a boy. If you aren't comfortable with talking to them about it maybe you and this boy could just stay friends, close friends, for a while or until you can talk to your parents about it. Let him know that you wanted to say yes also, but that there were certain circumstances that made you choose otherwise.
o0Yourmom0o answered Saturday April 19 2008, 5:35 pm: Well, you should tell him that you didnt want your parents to end up finding out but then also talk to your parents and say "i want to be able to tell you things"or "do you mind if i start dating?" or just tell them about him :]
Next time, if it happens again, say yes, it could be a wonderful relationship :] [ o0Yourmom0o's advice column | Ask o0Yourmom0o A Question ]
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.