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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
how to get girlfriend to blow your friends?
You don't; you let your friends find their own girlfriends to do that for them.
Try putting yourself in her place. Sex for a woman is much different than it is for a man. Be it oral, anal or regular vaginal sex it is the woman that is allowing a man to penetrate her body with his. This is a very intimate act one that requires trust and love on the part of the women. Now along comes her boyfriend a person she loves and says "Hey babe how about giving Johnny a blow job while I watch." How would you feel if you were in her place?
I know what I would say. I would tell you to get hosed and go find a new boyfriend. I'm not saying this isn't done; that people don't swap partners or there aren't people that don't enjoy threesomes or group sex. Those that do, do so because they want to not because someone wants them to do it.
I am an extremely petite woman. I'm about 5"1, Asian and with tiny bone structure. Ballet dancer's build, basically. I wear 00 pants, size 2 dress and 32A bra and though not completely shapeless (I have long legs and a defined waistline), I am extremely skinny and fragile-looking.
There are literally no men I have ever met that are attracted to chicks who look anything close to me. Every single guy I know is obsessed with the blonde hair extensions, blue eyes and big boobs, and it feels like I'll never be able to compare. I suppose if I was persistent I could get someone to date me, but during the date I know they wouldn't be able to stop themselves from constantly stealing looks at the voluptuous all-American woman at the next table.
If we look at our bodies as packaging to attract the opposite sex. Then we can say not everyone. Has the same packaging. Men your age are still quite shallow they are out for a good time and Sex for the most part. But all is not lost for it is what is under the wrappings that eventually shows through.
Relationships based entirely on sex generally fail for at some point you wake up and you actually have to talk to each other. This is when the relationship fails for you find out you have nothing in common. There is a better way to meet people and get to know them without the window dressing getting in the way.
What I would like you to try is this. Sit down with pen and paper and make a list of all the things you like to do both in school and out; both on campus and off. Trust me I have made this recommendation to others and they write back it works.
Include everything you like to do. Include church activities if it applies, camping, fishing, reading, hiking, cooking, photography, nature walks, sports playing and anything else you can think of. Then number them 1 to whatever.
Now take the top five and look to see if there are not any groups or activities going on specific to these activities and go to their meetings. I'm positive you will find one or more that will welcome you with open arms. You would be surprised to find that both men and women like to take part in many of the activities you do. You start by listening to conversations and adding your own interest or knowledge to the conversation.
Before you know it you're having coffee with someone after the meeting and then you are dating.
So i'm 16 years old and my mom recently been asking me questions amif im still a virgin and stuff, could she actually take me to a doctor and could determine if i've been sexually active ? Even though I don't want to? Without my permission?
There are two things here that are in your favor as to what mom can and cannot do or what she may find out as to whether or not you’re a virgin.
A doctor cannot tell if you a virgin or not. All a doctor can tell is if your Hymen is intact. If there were semen in your vagina during an examination then the doctor would know if you were having sex. But your mother cannot force you to have this type of examination against your will.
If you live in the U.S.A. and given the fact that you are over 14 years of age, you are covered by a law Congress passed called HIPPA. In this law is a section covering young people 14 years and older giving them total medical confidentiality over their reproductive system.
What this means is no one including your parents can know anything related to any doctor visit, any examination or treatment that involves a young person’s reproduction system.
In your case this would mean if you did consent to going to the doctor. Once with the doctor all you need to say is, "I want my rights under HIPPA." The doctor would then ask your mother to leave the room if she is with you.
If you allowed the doctor to proceed with the examination, which would not be a bad idea if you have not had one in a year." Then the results of that examination remain confidential and can only be told to those people you give the doctor expressed permission in writing. Because of the language in the law you can also ask the doctor for birth control medication and the doctor, unless there is medical reason not too, must provide a prescription for it. The pharmacist may not release information about any medication that would be related to the treatment of conditions related to the reproductive system without permission so there is no way for mom to know.
Congress passed this law not to promote sex between young people but to give them a place to go to get answers to questions or treatment for something they might be too embarrassed to go to their parents with. This law gives you the right to make appointments and see doctors related to anything to do with your reproductive system without parental knowledge or permission.
My suggestion is that rather than get in a fight with mom. IF she is insistent you be seen by a doctor so she can know if you are still a virgin; then go with her. Read any papers the doctor’s office give you to sign carefully because among them will be the HIPPA consent form. Make sure moms name does not appear on it anywhere. WHEN IT IS YOUR TURN TO SEE THE DOCTOR TELL THE NURSE OR THE DOCTOR YOU WANT YOU RIGHTS UNDER HIPPA. Let them inform your mother of your rights to confidentiality and they will support those rights.
Today I was walking to my grandmother's house and when I was about 2 minutes away, a guy in a white truck pulled up and said hi. He claimed that he saw me at the store, but I did not recognize him at all. He gave me his card with his cell phone number on it and asked me if i would promise to text him later on in the day. I didn't text him, but my main question is, should I be concerned?
Given the way things are today you cannot be to carful. The fact that you do not recognize him says you should do two things.
1. Tell your parents what happened and give then this guy’s car.
2. Together you should call the police and inform them of this incident. IF this guy's intentions were other than honorable they may know about him. If they do not know about him they still may not want to look into this as stopping on the street and handing a girl your card and saying "text me" even in today's world is not normal.
If the guy was someone you wanted to meet then I'm sure you would remember him. By letting the police investigate you save yourself from whatever further actions he might take to get whatever he wants from you and other girls as well.
Make it a police matter and pay attention to your surroundings when you’re out alone. Program your cell phone for one button push too call 911 and keep your cell phone with you at all times. Most important is try not to be alone when walking especially at night.
Hello Advicenators, First of all I would like to note that this is not my account. My friend is letting me use hers because she thought this website would help me figure this out.
I`m an 18 years old female. Three nights ago, my boyfriend came to sleep over my house. He came late at night and we had sex..lots of it and by that I mean it lasted a long time. In the morning, we had more sex..lots of it and at night again...also lots of it and then he left and went to his house. The following morning, my vagina had an irritation but I did`nt worry too much because it has happened before (where my vagina had an irritation after sex). This morning, I had a big, thick, white discharge on my vagina and I started to freak out. My vagina still has an irritation and the discharge keeps coming. Is this because we had too much or is there something wrong with me?
If you’re concerned about an STD they generally do not manifest themselves the next day. Discharges from your vagina can be normal and I think you would know a normal discharge from one that is not normal. This, "big, thick, white discharge," does not sound normal." If it happens again you should definitely see your GYN.
As to the irritation you are getting. This is very possibly from too much sexual activity. Your vagina may not be producing enough lubrication after the first or second intercourse. You might want to try a good lubricant like K-Y Jelly to keep you well lubricated during sex and to prevent irritation.
One other thing which you did not write about; did this discharge have any type of abnormal odor or scent to it. If it did this is a sign of some type of infection and you should see your doctor ASAP.
Hi my parents finally found out that I want to be tested for being bipolar. It runs in my family and my emotions have been like a roller coaster since I was little. I'm kind of happy that I can get help, but Im scared. Like scared to the point were I would say I'm not going and wouldn't cooperate. And the thing is I don't know why! I've wanted help for so long but now that I can get it I'm terrified. I guess I'm afraid the medicine is going to change who I am and I've done some reasearch and the side effects are kinda bothersome to me. I dont know. Has any one ever been screened before for it and is now on the medication?
First and foremost nothing says you are bipolar. The fact that it runs in your family does not mean you will manifest this illness. In fact it is very possible that you will never manifest any symptoms of this illness as generation skipping is possible with this illness.
What is important is that you are knowledgeable that this illness is prevalent in your family and that you make your Primary Care Physician aware of this so he or she can monitor you. The testing for any mental illness is painless. Depending on your physician you will either be given a questionnaire to fill out and then have a conversation with the doctor or the doctor will simply ask you questions. Based on your answers, if you are being seen by your primary care doctor, he or she will make a diagnoses and then decide how and who should treat you.
If it is determined you are bipolar this illness is best treated by a psychiatrist along with a psychologist for talk therapy. The psychiatrist being a medical doctor can prescribe medication(s) and the psychologist will help you stay on medications through talk therapy.
The biggest problem with bipolar disorder is staying on your medication. For when you are on your medication you will feel normal and see no reason to take it. Then you go off your medication and see no reason to take it. Maybe not you personally but a typical person suffering with this disorder does have a problem being compliant with their medications. As long as you're living at home with your parents you have help being compliant.
As to the medications themselves. The psychiatrist will most like give you a couple of different medications based on your diagnoses. These drugs are antipsychotic medications and they affect every person differently. How they affect you is something you will have to be honest and tell your doctor so they can fine tune the medications to get the desired results and make you feel as normal as possible.
Be aware of the dangerous side effects and report any of them immediately to the doctor. Some of the more normal side effects will go away after a few weeks when your body gets accustomed to the medication. If your doctor doesn't ask you to do this then I suggest you keep a medication diary. Each day write in your diary exactly how you are feeling throughout the day. A good time to write in your diary would be at breakfast, lunch, dinner and before bed. Make sure to include how well you slept and how long you slept.
No I have not suffered with this disorder though a good friend of the family has. My wife also works in the mental health field and we are very close to several psychiatrists especially the one who treats our friends so we are somewhat knowledgeable of this disorder.
IF and that is a big if diagnosed with this disorder you can live a long healthy life by simply working with your medical professionals. Keeping the diary I suggested will help them help you. There is really nothing to be scared about. If you are by polar and from the little you wrote I would be surprised if you are. It is better to know then not know and get the proper treatment and learn to live with this disorder just as you would any other long term illness.
my gyn is telling me I can't have a hysdrectomy becuae I need to try the novasure first is this true? I spoke to my insurance company they approve it with a medical necessity.
If you will follow the link I have posted below it will take you to the Novasure Website where you can download their brochure. On page 4 you will find the answer to your question. One thing to remember with this procedure is just like a hysterectomy you will no longer be able to have children.
The insurance company wants you to try this procedure first because it is probably less expensive than a hysterectomy. In fact I'm sure it is as it can be done as an office procedure under local anesthetic whereas aa hysterectomy requires an operating room and everything that comes with it plus an in hospital recovery stay.
Insurance companies always want to follow the procedures least costly to them. If a hysterectomy is what you want and your doctor agrees it is the proper procedure then you need to advocate for yourself. You do this by calling your state Insurance Commissioners office and filing a complaint against your Insurance company to the effect that they are not operating in your best interest by requiring this procedure.
I can tell you from personal experience that insurance companies do not like dealing with insurance commissioners. For if it is found they are not dealing in your best interest the fines issued can be in excess of the cost of the two procedures combined and they still have to pay for the procedure you and your doctor wish to preform.
That being said I have reviewed the information at it appears to be a safe. I is a minimally invasive procedure. Today's hysterectomies can be done in a minimally invasive manner should your doctor chose to do so. If your need is for endometriosis then a minimally invasive surgery is probably not what your doctor would want to do as I'm sure the doctor would want to try and clean out as much of that tissue as possible.
I have had and I still receive chemical oblations for chronic back pain. It is a requirement of the insurance company before they will pay for the electrical oblation that for me actually brings relief. I tell you this as this is the mentality of all insurance companies. I could fight them and go directly to what works but my doctor always wants to try the other procedures first.
My suggestion is talk to your doctor. If your doctor feels the Novasure is a good options then go with it. A minimal invasive procedure is always the safest way to go. If your doctor feel that a hysterectomy is the only way to correct your problem than call your Insurance commissioners office and ask for their help.
http://www.novasure.com/info/novasure-and-heavy-periods/what-is-novasure.cfm
21/f
I'm not sure if this has to deal with anything, but I have been on birth control for 2 years now. I switched birth control pills 7 months ago. The doctor's have prescribed me the pills that would help me skip my period and only have it every three months.
Last year, I started off losing interest in meat. I would eat it whenever it is in front of me, I would order things that contain meat. Months later, I started becoming tired of meat and I wasn't able to finish it, then give it off to the person next to me. Now, I am nauseous of meat, whenever I think of something in particular, when I see something, I get nauseous. The other day, I ate some wings and then got tired of it and ate the rest of it the day afterward.
I'm not sure what it is, but lately I have also been craving for pickles and milkshakes. I heard those were common for pregnant women. So, I took a pregnancy test, and it was automatically negative. My doctor said that if I try to skip my period, my body will trick itself into thinking that its pregnant, could this be it? But if so, it doesn't make sense when it comes to me feeling nauseous towards meat.
Any opinions? What do you think it is? Am I slowly becoming a vegetarian without my choice?
We are not doctors and can not make a medical decision. With a question such as this common sense would tell me that your doctors answer is probably more correct than you think.
Our bodies are both strange and wonderful things. In a manner of speaking they are an almost perfect machine. They are designed to work in a specific manner and if we maintain them in the manner prescribed they will most likely not give us any problems for many, many years.
Like any machine when you try to make it operate in a manner it is not designed to operate as. Its' operating parameters get thrown off and it tries to get back to how it is suppose to function. In the case of a female when you chemically stop your period the body, based on its operating parameters will think its is pregnant. This is one reason women on birth control complain of engorged or sensitive breasts. Both are symptoms of pregnancy. Cravings are another.
Now female athletes who strenuously exercise do not get periods. This is the body stopping the period because when the body does not have what it needs to operate properly it will shut down what it feels is unnecessary systems. The bodies primary goal is to keep the brain alive. In a women who may be underweight or who may burn more calories than they are taking in a female may see a cessation in her periods.
I don't think you're becoming a vegetarian either. I think, here again I'm not a doctor, though I believe this is another symptom of your body thinking it is pregnant. During my wife's first trimester with my son she could not look a piece of red meat in the eye. Once it was browned she was fine.
You might want to rethink your birth control medication and have a consultation with your doctor.
I have one coping skill and that is being on the computer. It is not healthy in other peoples opinion but I don't care. It is the only thing that helps me. I have tried everything else anyone has recommended but people are still telling me that being on the computer is not healthy. What do I do?
To truly answer your question I would need to know just what if anything you are trying to cope with. I would say as a general rule anything that helps you cope with something is not totally bad for you as long as it is not an addictive drug or alcohol.
That being said it has been found that the social networks on the web can become addictive. I would say if you can walk away and stay away from your computer when you have other things to do or you are not needing to cope with something. Then you are probably not addicted to your computer or the things that it can addict you two.
I too spend a lot of time on the computer during the day. I have never seen it as a coping skill more as way to pass the day and stay sane while my wife is at work. Maybe in the beginning it was a coping skill as I was forced to retire early having become disabled in a work related accident. Not being prepared to retire I needed something to occupy my mind and I found it on sites like this and other things of interest to me. Being active and working since I was 16 I needed something to do or I would have gone nuts.
When my wife comes home the computer generally gets turned off or she has things that I need to do for her on the computer; pay bills, look up recipes, order thinks to be delivers and other things. Once that's done the computer is turned off until the next day. Yes I have a tablet and a smartphone we both do and we both check emails during the evening.
If that's coping then I'm guilty too, though we all need to cope with something in some way. As long as you realize this is just away of coping and nothing more. That you can walk away from the computer when you want too I would not worry.
I'm 18 and still have one year of high school to go. My mom has alwsys intimidated me in a way where I feel like speaking gets me killed. I can't fully be honest because my mom snaps at me for being ignorant and selfish. She gets pissed at me for not knowing what I want or not understanding myself, then when I tell her what's really going through my mind she says it's my fault that there's problems. Right now my younger sister wants me dead because she allows her friends to harass me and she's told me that I need to kill myself all because my mom refused to let her rejoin color guard. I tell my mom and her response is "well you shouldn't have pissed her off." What kind of parent does that?
My mom gets mad at my dad for not having emotions, but gets mad at me for feeling anything. I can't be happy because it's too awkward and I'm always depressed. My mom feels a need to yell at me for being moody or not growing up. I can't help that I'm depressed all the time and she thinks I can just suck it up and smile.
My cousin recently lost her mom and her biological father is in prison, but I'm unable to care. I'm not exaggerating, I'm literally unable to care. All I can focus on is how loud she is and inappropriate she behaves around every single living being, and yet I'm punished for even raising my voice from joy. She even told me she'd choose my cousin over me. It makes me feel worthless when she puts me down this way. I've told her to her face, but I honestly think she hates me. I'm not allowed to dislike people but she is. I'm not allowed to let out my true emotions, but she is. I'm sick of her being a hypocrite. I'm close to giving up on everything and ending my life because I'm sick of having to carebut not being allowed to.
You are in an awkward position by being 18 which makes you legally and adult though still in high school living at home. If you were a year younger there are things I could tell you to do to get help from school and family services. Being a legal adult I'm not sure if the school or family services will be able to extend that help to you.
You are in a caustic environment this is evident in the sentence you wrote; "I'm close to giving up on everything and ending my life." You need help professional help. IF you feel ending your life is the only answer then call 911 for help. Not only will you get the help you need but maybe a wakeup call will be sent to your mother.
At school talk to a favorite teacher or your school principal about what your home life is like. If you were a year younger there are definitely things they can do to help you. It is possible since you are still in school those things are still available to you. Your home life is not conducive to good school work. You do want to graduate this year and hopefully someday go on to college. Ask a teacher or the principal for help.
The other option is more drastic which is to find a full time job, drop out of school and get a GED. With a full time job you can afford to find your own place to live either a rented room or an apartment with a roommate.
You can also talk to Military recruiters about joining a Branch of the Military. They may be able to help you get your GED while in the military and you may be trained in a career that is transferrable to a civilian career or you may just like the military and make it a career.
Suicide is not an answer it is the wrong solution. If you ever or are feeling suicidal please call 911 or go to the nearest hospital emergency room and ask for help.
Hi I would like to ask if is it safe to have sex after mens.My menstraution is during in last jan 24 and it ended 27 or 28,and In the 30th day of january me and my boyfriend had sex.Is it true that its safe 5 days after period? We used withdrawal method but its just a short time sex.
For 85% of women they are generally not fertile during the first 7 days after their period. For the other 15% of women they can be fertile at any time during their cycle including during their period. What you need to know is when you ovulate. When your ovary ejects an egg into you fallopian tube where it can be fertilized by sperm. There are kits at the drugstore you can purchase to help you track when you ovulate.
The withdrawal method of birth control is the least safe method of birth control. During intercourse the male releases a small amount of sperm, generally referred to as precum. The male has no control over when this is released as it is used as a lubricant during intercourse. In this precum there are enough sperm to male the female pregnant which is why the pull out method fails more than it succeeds.
If your boyfriend won't wear a condom then I suggest you not have sex with him as he is being disrespectful to you by not doing so. Condoms are better than 80% effective in preventing pregnancy and the are also able to prevent many of the STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus from being transferred between partners.
Just remember every time you are having unprotected se, even if you are on birth control pills, there is still a 1% chance of getting pregnant. With condom usage that is reduced to almost zero. Unprotected sex also means you are having sex with every other person either of you have had unprotected sex with.
Unless both of you have had blood tests to prove you are STD, HIV/AIDS free then you are playing with fire by having unprotected sex.
One other thing; if you are 14 years of age or older you may go to any or women's clinic and ask for birth control medication and be given it under a law called HIPPA. Your parents will never be told.
I'm fourteen, soon to be fifteen. I feel attracted to both genders. I know that people may say "Oh it's just a phase or horomones", but hear me out.
As long as I can remember, probably even since I was eight, I've been attracted to the female body. Ever since, I've just been trying to push those feelings away or to avoid them. Those feelings never went away. I still feel an attraction to both men and women. I actually even had my first kiss with a girl, and also dated her. I don't know what my sexuality is. Bisexual?
Also, if I was bisexual, I need advice... I think my dad is homophobic. He denies it, but he thinks it's disgusting when he sees gays. He even said, "Bisexuals are even worse. How can you like both? It makes no sense". I didn't really say much. My mom would probably not care much, which is good, but my dad... I honestly don't even feel like telling them that I'm bisexual if I were to be because it's not their business and it would save drama and anxiety.
First there is nothing wrong with being bisexual. If you truly are bisexual that is who you are and there is nothing wrong with being who you are.
Scientists are now telling us that gays and lesbians are born gay. With bisexuals they are not so sure. You say since you were eight you have felt this way. While it is somewhat early to start into puberty at eight years old it does happen.
Puberty and the hormones it releases awakens our sexual awareness. Being as young as you were you may have directed those sexual feelings in the safest direction which would have been towards another female. Now you are older and you may have feelings for males as well.
If you started to get your period at an early age it is a safe bet you went into puberty early as well. I would say you have two choices here.
1) since you say your mom would not care either way is it possible for you to talk to her about this. If I'm correct and you went into puberty early you could simply tell her you feel sexually confused. If mom is comfortable talking about maybe she can help or she can find a therapist for you to talk to who can help you figure this out. Whichever way you decide you are is who you are and there is nothing wrong with that.
2) If you're not comfortable talking to mom about this. There is a law called HIPPA. At your present age this law grants you full medical confidentiality. Meaning you could make an appointment to visit your GYN and discuss this with him or her. Mom does not have to know about the appointment and if she does she cannot be in the room with you when you talk to the doctor. What you and the doctor discus is confidential and cannot be told to anyone without your written permission.
Most import though is there is nothing wrong with you. In fact you are more like other kids your age. The difference is you have said something where most don't. Most kids to experiment with their sexuality with others of the same sex. Very few call themselves bisexual or end up bisexual.
F/21
My fiance and I have been together 3 years. His daughter is 4 and I have helped raise her. He has split custody with mom. I understand as a "step mom" I really can't have an opinion on any of their matters and try to stay out of the fire. I text mom if we are coordinating pick up or drop off, we talk when we are all at events for their daughter or simply having a meeting for schedules. I find myself to be civil and don't think their is anything wrong with keeping our relationship as that. I don't want to be friends with her. She takes this as me hating her and tells me I think of her as a witch and hate her because I won't get to know her and base my opinions of her off gossip. She texts me every few weeks demanding a meeting. We have never had a one on one but my fiance and I never felt the need. We know each other on a co-parent basis and not as friends. She demands we be more and tries to strong arm me into things. She says she just want to be friends and start with a clean slate but I find that easier said than done. She yells at me and freaks out if I don't say yes to a lunch date. I tried to explain it scares me and makes me uncomfortable to meet her when every time I don't agree with her she yells. She doesn't understand and looks at as me trying to undermine her as the mom. She slammed me on Facebook saying I think of her daughter as my own and label myself a step mom when I'm not. Bashed me to a mother group blaming me for some relationship issue with her now x. The thing is I have reached my hand out to her and she acts as if I am some stranger and says she needs to meet me so she can judge my character, but says it has to be a one on one with no one else there. And I am backed into the corner on it. I feel like I can't get away. She wants so desperately for us to be friends we tried before and she ended up using everything I said and turning it around into bad things. Should I agree to a one on one? Do I HAVE to do this? What should I say? How do I keep the upper hand so she can't walk on me? I'm seriously at a loss. She is so angry towards me everything I say she interprets as an insult because she is a victim. I am in desperate need for advice on how to deal with this type of person. What boundaries should I set for our relationship? What is okay to say/do in this situation. I don't want to mess up and jeopardize my relationship with my fiance or step daughter.
My best advice is as follows:
1) You and your fiancé need to sit down and discuss the relationship that you will have with his daughter. Since he is co=parenting you too will be a parent when she is in your home. What would he expect of you as a parent, in other words do you have full parental authority or a limited authority when she is with you. If he asks why? That brings you to #2,
2. If your fiancé is not aware of the situation between you and his daughters mother then you must make him aware of it. Then discuss your feelings with him and I'm confident he will agree with you that you do not need to be her friend.
As to her judging your character this one is a slippery slope. It could be just what it means it could be she is looking for grounds to modify custody. Make sure your fiancé is aware of the exact words she used when communicating this to you. It is not her place to judge your character that is your fiancé's place but could become a custody issue if she makes it one. Not wanting to be a friend or inject yourself between her and you soon to be husband is not a character fault. Wanting to be a good parent to her daughter as she and her father wishes you too is a positive objective on your part.
3. Once you and your fiancé are on the same page as to his ex and what he would like your relationship to be with her. Then sit down and write her a letter; do not text. I would say it should go something like the following.
Dear___,
(Insert name of fiancé) and I have discussed at length the relationship we feel is best that I have with you and your daughter. The facts are that I am going to be her stepmother and she will be spending time with me in our home.
I feel it is important that there be continuity between our homes in how she is being raised. When she is with us it should not be like she is suddenly on holiday. What happens in your house I want to continue in ours.
I know it is not possible for you to write everything down as to how things are done in your home. What you can do is give me the bullet points of the normal things and when the abnormal occurs I can communicate with you as to how you would handle it or wish it to be handled especially if her father is not home to at the time.
Things that I feel are important that I know are things such as doctors, bedtimes, church clothes VS play clothes. What foods she is allowed, not allowed. and favorites. Allergies are important to know, do we need to carry epie pens. When she starts school homework assignments that need to be completed. In other words coming to our home should not be a holiday but what it is a visit with her father.
In other circumstances it is possible we could be friends. Given the circumstances we have I think it best that we keep our relationship to what it is. You're the mother of my fiancé daughter and I'm going to be her step mom. We should limit our communication to what is in the best interest of the child.
Right now that is the relationship I am comfortable with. In the future who knows things could change. For now please stop trying to change what is and stop trying to set up one on one meetings for I will not meet with you in that manner. My interest in communicating with you for now is strictly what is in the best interest of your daughter.
Of course use your own words though I believe that is what you need to say.
AGE 16 male.. I just bought condoms for me and my girlfriend. but where should I hide them From my parents. BTW my parents dont know we are having sex.
Based on your question I suspect your mom is the good mom I believe her to be. If so she is checking your room for such things as condoms, cigarettes and drugs. It is what good mothers do to protect their children. That being said there is virtually no place with in your room you can hide them. You can't hide them at your girl friends house either for her mother should be doing the same thing as your mom. If I was you I would look for a place in the garage if you have one or a shed if you don't have a garage. Another place would be your locker at school. You can hide a few in your book bag each week.
That being said I feel I must advise you that while I admire you for using protection. Condoms are only 85% effective when worn correctly. For maximum protection your girlfriend should also be on birth control. Hopefully she is over 14 years of age. If so she can go to any women's clinic or any doctor of her choosing and request birth control medication.
This is granted under legislation enacted by the U.S. Congress called HIPPA. Under HIPPA anyone 14 years of age or older is granted total medical confidentiality for their reproductive systems. While the goal of this legislation was to allow young people to seek out help when needed for questions or problems related to their reproductive systems that they would not go to their parents with. A bye product of the legislation also gave young people of this age access to birth control on demand.
Parents cannot be told of any meeting with doctors or can they access any medical records having anything to do with the examination or treatment of the reproductive system. Young people have total medical confidentiality in this area. Parental permission is not needed to make an appointment or visit with a doctor.
Birth control with condom usage is almost 100% effective in preventing pregnancy. Condom usage for safe sex is effective in the transfer of many of the STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus.
I'll leave out the lecture about being too young to be having sex. I believe you know that and have chosen to ignore it.
Use the data from number 1 to answer this question: If South Carolina has a bachelor degree percentage rate of about 26 (the data entry is 26), into what quartile does it fall?
You posted this question two days ago and have not received an answer. The reason for this primarily is; the question sounds like a homework question. Most of us if we knew the answer, which I don't have a rule to not answer homework questions.
Having reviewed what a Quartile is I could be wrong her but I believe you may have left out some information to solve this problem. Did you supply all the data values?
In descriptive statistics, the quartiles of a ranked set of data values are the three points that divide the data set into four equal groups, each group comprising a quarter of the data. A quartile is a type of quantile. The first quartile (Q1) is defined as the middle number between the smallest number and the median of the data set. The second quartile (Q2) is the median of the data. The third quartile (Q3) is the middle value between the median and the highest value of the data set.
Can someone please explain to me what's abusive about Fifty Shades of Grey.
I'm a soon to be 24 year-old woman who is highly turned on by the type of material in the book. Although I have never engaged in BDSM, I love it when my boyfriend dominates me, and I fantasize about engaging in the activity.
Is BDSM abusive? Is there something wrong with me thinking so highly in allowing my boyfriend who I trust to dominate me?
Will I allow my relationship to become dangerous if I tell him to engage in this kind of behavior?
Everybody's views on BDSM are different. There is also varying Degrees of BDSM. One type of BDSM is the rape fantasy that many women are supposed to have. Another is being tied to the bed and letting him have his way with you. BDSM could also include him allowing others to use you.
Then there is BDSM that includes pain this is the "D" of BDSM and could be simply allowing him to spank you or maybe canning or whipping you. These are fairly standard forms of pain inducing parts of BDSM. There are harsher forms such as nipple and clit clamps. It gets worse from here.
I am quite liberal in my views on sex. I believe that nothing done in the privacy of one’s home or bedroom between consenting adults is weird. The operative words here are CONSENTING and ADULTS. No one should be forced to do anything they are not comfortable with; be it a sexual position or type of sex act.
If you wish to explore the world of BDSM I see nothing wrong with this provided you and your boyfriend sit down and discuss it first with your clothes on. Make up safe words so you each know when the other has reached their limit. Decide what and how you both wish to explore this world for it can be quite dark. Wherever this leads you should never leave permanent scars or injuries for that is going too far.
Together explore the world of BDSM, and what it really means before you actually participate. Make up your rules and know your limitations. When you are both in agreement then go ahead and explore and I hope you find what you’re looking for. If anyone thinks you’re weird for doing so they are just closed minded.
This advice is over complicated, i don't have time to do that. And it would be very hard for me to help pay for some of the expenses since the job i work at is part time and minimum wage. My father didn't pay child support and my brother has a different dad from me and we don't know where his dad is. He ran away from home when my brother was a baby. I would also like to say that I would like to start saving my money for stuff for me later on in life like when i get my license, i must pay for half the car insurance and gas on a huge gas wasting minivan. Take these into account with my situation as well.
My advice may be overly complicated though it is what has to be done to find out just what the family financial situation is, Based on what you wrote in your last question; mom is not good with her finances and spends money she needs for important things frivolously, my take on what you wrote.
It is unfortunate that at such an early stage of adulthood I'm asking you to be the adult of the family. To either take control of the family finances or at the very least sit down with mom and show her how to budget. I wish there was another easier way to do what needs to be done, there is not. If it is not done, if things like the mortgage and condo fee's are not paid on time you could lose the house. Don't pay the utility bills on time they turn them off. To have them turned on will require huge deposits.
You did not mention the gas guzzling minivan in your last question. You also do not say how old it is. I agree with the previous advisor that you should suggest to mom she get rid of this for a more gas efficient vehicle. With just the three of you I see no need for a minivan a small compact car, used or new, should meet your family needs.
If you find moms debts exceed her income then her alternatives are few and she should consider filing chapter 11 bankruptcy. This type of bankruptcy will allow her to keep the house and the car while consolidating monthly debts, other than utilities and mortgage, into one small monthly payment. This will also require she put together a budget which she will get some help in doing so.
Hi! I'm a 14-year-old girl and I've been feeling really weird lately. Everything that I'm about to list has been going on for about a month now: I cry over EVERYTHING. For example: My dad said to stop playing guitar because I was too loud and he was trying to work so I went to my room and cried. I've been really irritable as well. I do have a generally short fuse but now it's even worse; I've even been going off on my parents occasionally (which I feel terrible about afterward). My little sister even decided not to share a bedroom with me because I was constantly yelling. I've been eating and sleeping way more as well. I had a relatively healthy diet in the past, but now I get home from school and eat a bag of popcorn, a pop tart, crackers, chocolate, and anything else I can get my hands on. I get super drowsy and just kind of lay down wherever I am whether that be the floor, a chair, a bed. I'm wide awake throughout the day but I get home and it's like school drained me of my life. I use to really like school. I don't like a lot of things that I use to like. I'm openly rude to all of my friends and I don't want to be around them. I sit in the bathroom and read during lunch periods sometimes. Speaking of reading, I only feel okay when I'm reading or on my blog. What's wrong with me??
Relax your normal it is called Puberty. What your going through is battling all the changes affecting your body because of all the new hormones floating in your body. Sometimes Puberty will call what doctors now describe as teenage depression and while you write of some of the symptom of teenage depression you do not write of all of them.
What I suggest is that you make an appointment with your family doctor for a complete physical. Doing so will rule out any organic reason for why you feel this way. While you are with the doctor ask to be screened for depression. This is a simple test where the doctor will ask you a number of questions. Your answers will allow the doctor to make a diagnoses.
Whether you are diagnosed with teenage depression or not there is medication the doctor can give you to make going through puberty a lot easier on you and your family.
As I said in the beginning; based on what you have written and my advanced years as a parent and hopefully future grandparent. You are most likely suffering problems of puberty which is normal for your age. See your doctor for help with this problem.
Okay, so, my mom is a single mother and she works two jobs and somehow she has no money for anything. I understand its hard to be a single mother, but its out of control. She has two jobs, she doesn't pay for a lot of stuff for me anymore, she's making me pay for my phone bill and my brothers phone bill (he's 11, I'm 18), I just started my first job a month ago. We live in a condo, and she's still paying for mortgage and she's behind on the monthly dues. I don't understand where all her money is going. She makes me do everything around the house and she gets mad at me so easily. I just recently saw an envelope with my college fund money and its 10,000 dollars less than it was before and I have a strong feeling that she took it out and spent it. I don't know what she spent it on and she says we still do not have money. We live in a two bedroom condo and currently house foreign exchange students to help pay for our house even though we own the condo. I sleep in my moms bed with her. If I want my own room again, I have to pay rent which is ridiculous. I'm just so confused about where all this money is going and I just want to know how you guys feel about my situation! Thank you!
You don't say where your father is in all this. If your parents are divorced then child support for you ended when you turned 18 but should still be being paid for your brother.
The previous writer had a good idea which I'm going to elaborate on in a bit. First lets talk about the College fund. That money should not be sitting around in an envelope in a draw it should be in a Bank earning interest. IF this is your money not moms money or money your parents have been saving for college for you then I suggest you take it to a bank and open a savings account in your name only. You are legally an adult at age 18 and do not need a parent as co-owner on any bank account.
As to the family finances. It just may be that mom is not a good money manager. Maybe in the past dad handled all the finances. What I suggest you do is talk to mom and ask her if you can help with the family fiancés. Tell her you're working now and you would like to help but only if you can see where money is going and needs to go. TO do this you need to know what is coming in and what is going out.
The first thing you need to know is how much money you have to work with. She needs to tell you how much her take home pay is from her two jobs plus any child support. If she is not receiving any child support and dad is still in the picture, then this is something we need to cover and will in a bit.
Once you have moms take home pay for each check she receives multiply it times the number of checks she receives each month. This gives you her monthly income. Put you monthly income in a separate column.
Next in a separate column write down all the monthly expenses starting with the mortgage and the utilities, phone bills, internet, cell phones, gas for the car, car insurance, health insurance if not supplied from one of her employers. Monthly food expenses, estimate other expenses like co-pays for medicine, doctor and dentist visits and any other NEEDED expenditures.
Add up the total of monthly expenses if it exceeds moms income start eliminating unnecessary expenses starting with your brothers cell phone. There is no necessity for an 11 year old to have a smartphone. If mom wants him to have a cell phone for emergencies so she can reach him or him her. There are children's emergency cell phones which allow calls to other cell phones or land line plus 911. They are very inexpensive and can be had on a prepaid basis.
Dry cleaning can be cut back on by wearing more sash and wear clothing. Internet and cable TV are nice but not a necessity, Hula is a less expensive alternative to cable TV. If her grocery shopping includes name brand products switch to store brands. I know for a fact they are less expensive and just as good, sometimes even better then the name brand.
Once you have done this you have hopefully brought the total expenditure down to at least equal to her income or less than her income. Now look at your income. IF there is say a difference in what is now the budget a surpluses for her of $50 if you are able to give her $150 dollars so she has a monthly surplus of $200 or $50 a week. This is important as a budget is just that a budget. She needs a surplus each week to get her through for unexpected expenditures.
The rest of what you earn is yours which you put in your checking account, NOT in an envelope in a draw around the house where she can find it. With your checking or savings account the bank with give you an ATM card so you will be able to get cash when you need it.
Child support: If dad is still alive and not paying child support then mom needs to see a lawyer and take him to court. It is the law that until your brother is 18 he must pay child support. There are ways the law can force him to pay. The can attach earning, the can attach his tax refund. They can take away his license to drive and even revoke the registration on his car. His passport can be revoked and he can even be jailed, If mom cannot afford a lawyer she can have one appointed for her by the courts. All she needs to do is go see the clerk of the District Court.
so I've written a song (I know I know, it's cheesy as hell) for the person I like. Some people have told me that it's cute and all that I took the time to write a song for her even though it's in the style of Hey there Delilah with my lyrics. But they still think it's cute. But I feel really embarrassed because I'm not the type of person to be sentimental and express my emotions often. And every time I always think, "Hey, I'll sing it to her!" but I don't want her to think of me as sappy or sensitive cause I don't think I'm like that at all. suggestions?
If you took the time to write the song then sing it to her. Writing the song says you do have feelings for her and the fact that not the type of person to be sentimental and express your emotions is probably the reason why you wrote the song. It is away for you to express yourself to her. It is away for someone like you who may have trouble expressing themselves to show her that you do have feelings for her.
I don't believe she will think you sappy or sensitive at least sensitive in the manner you define sensitive. She will think it very sweet of you to express your feelings for her in a manner that is only between you and her. So go ahead and sing her your song.