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This is advice is complicated
This advice is over complicated, i don't have time to do that. And it would be very hard for me to help pay for some of the expenses since the job i work at is part time and minimum wage. My father didn't pay child support and my brother has a different dad from me and we don't know where his dad is. He ran away from home when my brother was a baby. I would also like to say that I would like to start saving my money for stuff for me later on in life like when i get my license, i must pay for half the car insurance and gas on a huge gas wasting minivan. Take these into account with my situation as well.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
My advice may be overly complicated though it is what has to be done to find out just what the family financial situation is, Based on what you wrote in your last question; mom is not good with her finances and spends money she needs for important things frivolously, my take on what you wrote.
It is unfortunate that at such an early stage of adulthood I'm asking you to be the adult of the family. To either take control of the family finances or at the very least sit down with mom and show her how to budget. I wish there was another easier way to do what needs to be done, there is not. If it is not done, if things like the mortgage and condo fee's are not paid on time you could lose the house. Don't pay the utility bills on time they turn them off. To have them turned on will require huge deposits.
You did not mention the gas guzzling minivan in your last question. You also do not say how old it is. I agree with the previous advisor that you should suggest to mom she get rid of this for a more gas efficient vehicle. With just the three of you I see no need for a minivan a small compact car, used or new, should meet your family needs.
If you find moms debts exceed her income then her alternatives are few and she should consider filing chapter 11 bankruptcy. This type of bankruptcy will allow her to keep the house and the car while consolidating monthly debts, other than utilities and mortgage, into one small monthly payment. This will also require she put together a budget which she will get some help in doing so.
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I checked on your previous questions as this alone didn't make sense. If you actually wanted to write a response to one particular person and give more info and ask another or rephrase a question, then if you wanted to keep contact with that one particular advice giver, you'd need to look up their column and then click on a button to write them, let them know a bit about your previous question and ask your new. When posting here for general advice givers to answer, sometimes we can look up previous questions asked, but if you write to one particular person, they won't have that history.
So you are the gal whose Mom spent 10 grand of your college money. Since mom is in desperate financial straights, I don't think you have hope of getting your money back ever, but to prevent losing any more of it, you need to go to the bank, show proof of being of legal age, being 18, and have suggest opening your own account taking that money and doing so with another totally different bank. The importance of setting up an account in another bank is that if there's a bounced check and money needed to cover for Mom's a account, and you have a join account for your college fund, the bank doesn't care if its your hard earned paycheck or fund for college, if it's the same family, they will automatically pull out the funds to covers moms deficit out of joint accounts. my daughter found her checking account low on funds and couldn't pay her bills and asked my help. Went to the bank to discover Dad was still a signer on her acct from when she was younger. Got him taken off but due to snafu in their records, money was still taken out to cover Dads bills and she is grow and living on her own now quite a while. We found the bank will not fix it and give her money back, it doesnt work that way. She had to wait until her Dad got caught up and paid her back.
If this missing money is in an account that doesnt have your name on it, just an agreement from mom that this savings is for your schooling, then you can only ask her to have the bank give you a bank check for that amount and go open your own account somewhere so that you have the access to it and handling of it yourself. If this is not money that you earned and put away and she chooses to use it up to cover basic bills, there's nothing you can do about it. I can;t sat what she's spending all this money on but it may have been going on for years and just on regular bills, that adds up. My sister says there were enough savings to pay for her 4 kids college and almost enough besides to upgrade to a nicer house and then her husband died. When she went to back for the money, she found the husband had spent it all and taken her off the account without her permission. The missing money was gone, never found out what he spent it on.
It will be hard but your better bet might be to start work full time, then go in on a place with roommates sharing bedrooms in a house/apartment and save up your own money to pay for a couple classes at a community college. Find a place close to buslines and also save up for a car. I know it doesnt sound like a good deal but the sooner you become self sufficient, the better. Get a friend to let you use their smaller care for learn to drive in. and use that to pass and get drivers license, I wouldn't attempt that with a van, I own one and can't imagine as a beginning driver, starting with that. tHATs all the suggestions I have dear. Sorry. Perhaps you have a richer relative somewhere who might be willing to help you out as long as you are no longer connected to mom who might take the money?
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ok so what exactly are you asking about then?? lol
youve told us your situation but didnt ASK anything really....
about the minivan would whoever your sharing it with consider down grading and selling the car for something for gas efficient??
also start saving by putting a little bit of each pay check away everytime you get paid. it doesnt have to be one set amount everytime if thats too hard on you since there will probably be certain times where you need more money then others but ten or 20 bucks here or there WILL add up over just a few months time. dont look at the amount thats in the bank just keep putting it in there for about a year and youll be surprised at the end.
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