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Coping Skills
I have one coping skill and that is being on the computer. It is not healthy in other peoples opinion but I don't care. It is the only thing that helps me. I have tried everything else anyone has recommended but people are still telling me that being on the computer is not healthy. What do I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
People are different so they have different coping skills and they think differently. If that's your happy place then go with it. Just do it in a healthy way, monitor your time and try and take time out of that one activity and think of something else to do. Maybe you should try going to sleep or daydreaming to help you. Do whatever helps you because everyone doesn't know your situation and even if they did know, they probably wouldn't understand. Pay attention to yourself and if you need anything, just ask me because I understand.
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Any single activity, to the exclusion of all others is really not a great idea. So try to add-in as many other activities as possible. It certainly won't help with your social skills, even if you are mainly using 'social meia' (despite what one might gather from half of it's name). They're essential. It won't allow you much time for physical activities to keep your body fit either. Nobody is saying you can't use your computer. And if it's providing you with an outlet and a way of handling various stresses, then that's ok too. But it can't take over. In a way you've got to force yourself to face the things you're escaping from and have a good balance of activities going on in your life. Including stuff you'd rather not do. Then spend some time on your computer for 'R and R'. Your 'reward' to yourself. It's all about balance really. Fast food (burgers etc) get a 'bad press' from some quarters. If you like them, treat yourself to one from time to time and enjoy it. It'll do you no harm whatsoever. It's a perfectly safe and valid food. But if you elected to live on a diet of nothing but fast food burgers your body would quickly decline. You'd get too much of some nutritional elements, not enough (or even none) of others. Also, if you spend too much time indulging in something relaxing it'll tend to lose all it's therapeutic and enjoyable value. We like the weekends, a break away from work (mostly, some work weekends...but you know what I mean). It's important to our well-being. If one did not work all week, what is there to escape from and chill out? Saturday and Sunday would be no different to any other day of the week, would they? Aim for a variety of stuff if you can. You might find some of it a lot more fun than you think if you give it a chance. Incidentally, if you found yourself working in IT and computers are in your face all day long Monday to Friday nobody would say that was an 'unhealthy' job. The computer itself is not unhealthy. But when you clocked-off on Friday night I reckon the last thing you'd want to do was to spend all weekend on your computer. Variety is the key. Throw some other stuff in the mix and see what you get!
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The only way it is unhealthy is if you don't balance the rest of your life properly. If it's ALL you are doing and don't do other activities in a day or do different things to cope than it's not healthy.
That's the issue and concern people have about it. I think what you need to do is find a few things in addition to using computers that you enjoy and helps you cope with what troubles you. Once you have a mix of things in addition to the computer than it's considered normal to be on there.
The big problem is what the computer is standing in for and not doing for you. You could benefit from counseling, hanging with friends, going out on your own places. It's not helping the problem whatever it may be from being healed or dealt with really.
I think that's the issue people expect you to deal with head on and see you buried in the computer and draw conclusions. As long as you talk about the issue and get support than be on the computer but limit your time. Try different things to cope that doesn't always involve the computer as the only choice.
You should also tell people what being on the computer does to help you and why you turn to it above their techniques and that constant negative remarks about it aren't helpful either even if they have a point that it shouldn't be the only way to deal with feelings. It's easier to bottle them up this way.
Balance things out as I stated by going to a movie, exercising, therapy, find a hobby or passion, try drama classes, art, sports and other ideas when down and pick the computer last for awhile. See if you feel healthier and better. Talk about what bothers you when you are gripped by it and hang with friends more. As long as you do all those things your computer habits if cut down aren't going to enter the unhealthy range or cause people concern for you.
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Losing yourself online can make feelings such as loneliness, stress, anxiety, depression and boredom evaporate into thin air. Spending a lot of time online only becomes a problem when it absorbs too much of your time, causing you to neglect your relationships, your work, school, or other important things in your life.
This is something that you must determine for yourself, If you think that maybe you are too involved with your computer to the detriment of other important facets of your life, you should research the matter and seek help, if it's necessary. You could begin by visiting: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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To truly answer your question I would need to know just what if anything you are trying to cope with. I would say as a general rule anything that helps you cope with something is not totally bad for you as long as it is not an addictive drug or alcohol.
That being said it has been found that the social networks on the web can become addictive. I would say if you can walk away and stay away from your computer when you have other things to do or you are not needing to cope with something. Then you are probably not addicted to your computer or the things that it can addict you two.
I too spend a lot of time on the computer during the day. I have never seen it as a coping skill more as way to pass the day and stay sane while my wife is at work. Maybe in the beginning it was a coping skill as I was forced to retire early having become disabled in a work related accident. Not being prepared to retire I needed something to occupy my mind and I found it on sites like this and other things of interest to me. Being active and working since I was 16 I needed something to do or I would have gone nuts.
When my wife comes home the computer generally gets turned off or she has things that I need to do for her on the computer; pay bills, look up recipes, order thinks to be delivers and other things. Once that's done the computer is turned off until the next day. Yes I have a tablet and a smartphone we both do and we both check emails during the evening.
If that's coping then I'm guilty too, though we all need to cope with something in some way. As long as you realize this is just away of coping and nothing more. That you can walk away from the computer when you want too I would not worry.
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