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I've lost the most beautiful girl
18 F
Months ago I was able to call the most beautiful girl that's ever been in my life, mine. Sadly we parted ways but still remained somewhat in contact. We would occasionally talk, interact on social media, just never face to face. Today I asked her if it would be okay now to hang out and she said she to be honest she'd probably feel uncomfortable.
What I fail to understand is that she made it clear at one point I was the only one that still had feelings. Not ashamed of that, but now I don't have feelings for her and she still isn't sure we can be friends?
While dating she taught me so much. Like self care, and how to generally be happy. I've grown so much in the past few months with her and with out her and it kills me to think I'm going to lose her completely. I accept the fact that we can't become lovers again but being friends would be so much better than not having her in my life at all.
I'm not sure what I'm asking, maybe just some reading some thoughts on this would help me.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I find her answer quite reasonable, feeling uncomfortable. It doesnt matter what in her mind would make her uncomfortable, you just must honor her wishes.
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This is pretty much the ball is in her court. So even though you'd still like to be friends and hang out with her, she's unsure about it and she gets to be the one to decide.
To be honest, she probably thinks you still have feelings for her. She probably doesn't understand what an impact she made on your life that you'd still like to have a friendship.
Or she would just feel uncomfortable hanging out just for the reason that you guys dated. Some people just can't be friends with their exes. Maybe she's one of them.
You can possibly make it clear there's no feelings. But there isn't much else you can do but give her more time.
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She gets to decide if she wants to hang out or not. It's okay if you don't have feelings, and she thinks you do. Even if she is wrong, she still gets to decide if she is interested in a friendship.
Do yourself a favour and just respect what her choice is. Tell her the truth, but don't argue with whatever decision she feels is best for her. That's what a friend would do.
Friendships take on all shapes and sizes. Being 'not friends' is a moment in time. It doesn't have to last forever. The best way to lay a foundation so you can friends in the future, is to show her the respect you'd show a friend and let her decide when she is ready to take the friendship any further.
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