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I need help!! Can my mom find out if I am a virgin without my permission?
So i'm 16 years old and my mom recently been asking me questions amif im still a virgin and stuff, could she actually take me to a doctor and could determine if i've been sexually active ? Even though I don't want to? Without my permission?
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She can if your under 18. There is a doctor that can see whether or not you are still a virgin or not. Many parents who don't trust their kids bring them to these doctors.
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No ethical physician aware of the laws of privacy is going to speculate on your virginity. There is no medical test for virginity, only whether the hymen is intact or not. Many girls, rupture their hymen innocently enough in the course of normal activity as young as 3 or 4 years of age.
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And added to the great advice of what the other advice givers said, I just want to mention something to be mentally prepared for. If you did go to a Dr. and your Mom by law was not told anything and you refuse to tell her yes or no, the very fact that she's been hounding you know, means its very likely she won't let up and will actually believe you to be sexually active simply because you won't tell her. You're in one of those spots of damned if you do and damned if you don't. Whether you are sexually active or not is not the issue but it's your mothers attitude. To say Yes I'm still a virgin, whether true or not, won't matter to mom if she's for some reason made up her mind that you are and I highly doubt saying so if you decided to would make her stop. If she continues to harass you like this is whether she gets you in to see the Dr or not, I'd talk to the school counselor and ask them what can be done. Mom's action can only harm in causing you stress, distracting from full focus on school work and grades could drop or you could even at worst become depressed over her actions and treatment of you. I am not sure what can be done if she keeps up harassing you, just state that even though you are her child that your sexuality and rights to keep it private are yours by state. Maybe you have a more understanding, progressive aunt you can talk to and she could have a talk with mom to get her to lay off. There were things that my daughter went to their aunt with rather than me during the time I was still church going and rather close-minded. That changed thankfully for me. Good luck dear.
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If you are in America a doctor cannot, legally, share that kind of information with your mother without your permission. You have a right to privacy. A doctor who gave your mom their opinion on your virginity would be committing professional misconduct AND a crime.
The doctor also couldn't, with certainty, determine if you are a virgin or not by examining you. They may have an idea, one way or another, but they could not be absolutely sure.
If your mother does take you to a doctor, all you need to do is tell the doctor that you do not want her in the room, and you do not want the doctor to tell her anything. As long as you say that, and do not give permission, the doctor cannot tell your mother anything.
If you can get your mom to leave the room, it would be a good idea to talk honestly to your doctor about sex. Doctors can have good advice and they might be able to help your mom calm down - without denying you your privacy - especially if they feel you've been honest with them.
If your mother will not leave you in the room with the doctor, then there can be no doctors appointment. You are entitled to privacy. If your mother refuses, the doctor wont be able to go forward with anything, and the doctor may also be required in that situation to contact the state about your mother's refusal to allow you to have a private conversation with a doctor. Chances are very good, once this is explained to your mother, that she will leave the room and let you speak privately to your doctor. To do otherwise, may well constitute child abuse.
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There are two things here that are in your favor as to what mom can and cannot do or what she may find out as to whether or not you’re a virgin.
A doctor cannot tell if you a virgin or not. All a doctor can tell is if your Hymen is intact. If there were semen in your vagina during an examination then the doctor would know if you were having sex. But your mother cannot force you to have this type of examination against your will.
If you live in the U.S.A. and given the fact that you are over 14 years of age, you are covered by a law Congress passed called HIPPA. In this law is a section covering young people 14 years and older giving them total medical confidentiality over their reproductive system.
What this means is no one including your parents can know anything related to any doctor visit, any examination or treatment that involves a young person’s reproduction system.
In your case this would mean if you did consent to going to the doctor. Once with the doctor all you need to say is, "I want my rights under HIPPA." The doctor would then ask your mother to leave the room if she is with you.
If you allowed the doctor to proceed with the examination, which would not be a bad idea if you have not had one in a year." Then the results of that examination remain confidential and can only be told to those people you give the doctor expressed permission in writing. Because of the language in the law you can also ask the doctor for birth control medication and the doctor, unless there is medical reason not too, must provide a prescription for it. The pharmacist may not release information about any medication that would be related to the treatment of conditions related to the reproductive system without permission so there is no way for mom to know.
Congress passed this law not to promote sex between young people but to give them a place to go to get answers to questions or treatment for something they might be too embarrassed to go to their parents with. This law gives you the right to make appointments and see doctors related to anything to do with your reproductive system without parental knowledge or permission.
My suggestion is that rather than get in a fight with mom. IF she is insistent you be seen by a doctor so she can know if you are still a virgin; then go with her. Read any papers the doctor’s office give you to sign carefully because among them will be the HIPPA consent form. Make sure moms name does not appear on it anywhere. WHEN IT IS YOUR TURN TO SEE THE DOCTOR TELL THE NURSE OR THE DOCTOR YOU WANT YOU RIGHTS UNDER HIPPA. Let them inform your mother of your rights to confidentiality and they will support those rights.
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