about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

This might be a dumb question, but whenever my boyfriend gets mad about something, or when he is in a bad mood, he always takes it out on me, and he's just in a bad mood so it makes me in a bad mood, and i was just wondering what I should do about it, like is there something that i can do about it to not get so upset about it, or like tell him or anything? I just don't know what to do. The help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. ♥

Talk to him about it some, but eventually, you're going to have to be more understanding if the relationship is going to work. Some people are just like that. When they get grumpy, mad, or upset, they tend not to be quite so caring towards others. Don't expect him to change. That would be a big mistake. If you have a hard time dealing with it, it is probably a good idea to break up with him. I think that the relationship can work, so don't give up just yet! I hope I helped you and good luck.

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PLease help me fast. Today is my mommy's brithday and we don't know where to take her for dinner please could someone give me suggestion
I rate 5's
Love me

I would say take her to either a really nice Italian restaurant, or someplace such as Applebees, Ruby Tuesday, or TGIFridays. If you know what her favorite food is, or her favorite restaurant, that would help a lot. Remember that she will appreciate you taking her to any restaurant though and will have a great time with you. Good luck!

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Hey does anyone know any good cookie recipies???

I do! They got a blue ribbon at the state fair :)

Peanut butter cookies

1/2 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup margarine
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 egg
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 cup flour
1/2 tsp. baking soda


Use an electric mixer to combine the peanut butter and butter. Add the sugar and brown sugar. Add the vanilla and the egg. Stir in the baking soda and flour. Roll into 1.5 inch balls and spread them out on a cookie sheet at least 2 inches apart. Bake at 350 degrees for 8-10 minutes. Let them cool for a minute or so on the cookie sheet, then place them on cooling racks with paper towels.

If you want you can add things to the recipe such as chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, nuts, or anything else you can think of (chocolate chips taste really good). Add these ingredients with the flour. Remember that if you want to make more cookies, just double all of the ingredients in the recipe. I always do. And last, but not least, enjoy!

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ok well sometimes like when i workout or just wearing jeans somewhere i dont wear underwear. i just heard the other day though about crabs? is it likely i will get them or already have them if i dont wear underwear sometimes? can someone please give me some info on this..thanks.

I think it would help you to understand exactly what crabs are. They are lice that live in pubic hair. They don't jump like lice that live on your head, so they need to come in direct contact with you. Another thing I'd like to add is that one of my friends got crabs from a toilet seat. This is uncommon, but does happen. They can be taken care of relatively easily if you do get them. I believe they actually give you a pill. The thing is, most people are too embarassed and try to take care of it themselves, which is not a good idea at all. I hope that you never get them, but be assured that you won't get them from not wearing underwear.

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Hey. This is probably the wrong catagory... sorry. Ok when i was younger i was in an abusive relationship (VERY VERY YOUNG) ((like kid young)) so anyways i grew up kinda withdrawn and alone... i have a very close circle of friends now and a great boyfriend. We've been together for 10 months and i love him so much. Thing is, im a psycho. Honestly. I hear voices in my head and their shouting, always shouting... i can hardly understand them and i have to yell out to make them stop. Im one of the people you see walking down the street alone talking to themselves. I scream out loud randomly for what seems like no apparent reason. I used to be scared of commitment. I used to go out with people, get through all the hard stages, get through the awkwardness, the sex... and breakup with them. Just as they were starting to like me... I couldnt help it. The guy im with now, i actually love. Ive been holding up this barrier of defense so i couldnt get hurt for so long and now its down and i am SO SCARED!! im all vunerable now. He can hurt me. He says he loves me all the time, but i get paranoid and sometimes i get so jealous and i think i annoy him but he puts up with it cuz he loves me. He says he wants to stay with me forever and get married and have kids. But i think im gunna drive him crazy. How can he love me? Im a wreck! Please help. Soon. X (im 15 and female, my boyfriend is 17 and MALE. Lol)

Well, I think that the main problem here is that you are suffering from a mild form of schizophrenia. Usually when anybody hears that they get all excited and defensive, but please be open to this. It would really help you to understand what's going on in your mind. It seems like you feel different than other people and like a sort of outcast. It's natural to feel like you don't deserve how much love your boyfriend gives you, but if you were more confident in your own self it might help quite a bit. It's wonderful that he is so supportive of you, he sounds like quite a find. My advice for you is to see a Psychiatrist. I think that if you were put on a low dose of medication so that the voices went away, you'd feel a lot better about yourself and your relationships with others. Please consider this. Being analyzed by a professional will help you so much. I hope that you feel better soon and good luck. :)

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track starts on march 6th

i can't even fun a quater mile with out geting out of breath!

i am 14(8th grade ) and i just bought a treadmill yesterday

what can i do so i can start track...( even though their are NO tryouts thanks alot babes )

The beautiful thing about track is that it's more of an individual sport. You get what you want to get out of it by what you put into it. You don't have to do anything to prepare. Just go to practice and do your best. There is enough time to get ready and in shape before the first meet once practice starts. At practice you'll learn a lot about what a good workout plan consists of and you can use this on weekends and in the offseason if you choose. Another beautiful thing about track is that you'll start no matter what. You'll run your race, races, or do your field events and set personal goals for yourself as you go. If you are good you'll contribute to team points, but if you don't quite make it up to that level, you will still set personal records and feel a lot of pride in how much you can improve. It isn't a bad idea to work out some before practice starts, though, if you want to be that much more ahead. It also shows that you are quite dedicated, which is very good. I would say all you need to do is go for a few jogs a week. Try to increase the distance that you run, how fast you are running, and how often you run as you go along. Don't go crazy though. A good plan would be for the first week jog 1 or 2 half miles with rest in between, really slowly. Then, the second week jog the whole mile together slowly. The third week try a little faster and continue going faster as you're able. After you've got a pretty solid mile, try jogging for 2 miles. If you want to take a little break from the long distance, once in awhile you can do some sprints, pushups, situps, or lift weights. Adjust to what you are ready to do, but you'll have to push yourself a little to get better. Make sure that you stretch a lot before you run. Take a short warm-up jog, and stretch again. Stretching is a lot more important than you may think. Take a short cool-down jog after you are done running, too. Your legs can cramp up and get really stiff if you don't. Track practice is meant to prepare you for meets. Remember that you don't have to be a star on the very first day! I wish you the best of luck and I hope that I was able to help you :)

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Just wondering what you other girls may think.

In a guy, is it more attrative if he is shy and sweet. Or if hes confident and secure.

I think I find it more appealing if a guy is sweet and shy. Its adorable in my eyes, what do you think?

-Sara.

I agree with you. Shy and sweet is very attractive. However, I don't think I'd enjoy an actual relationship with a guy that was shy. I tend to look more for someone that can always make me laugh that I can have an awesome time with. The crazy, funny kid. Crazy, funny people I don't think are ever very shy. I may not be quite so attracted to them initially, but, to me, it's more important to have a solid "we can have fun together" connection. It's confusing at times because I find myself attracted to people that I wouldn't enjoy relationships with.

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The other night in bed with my bf, I fell asleep and had a dream in which I kissed one of my flatmates, and enjoyed it a lot - this guy is like a brother to me, and although he is attractive and 'my type' (I guess that's why we are friends), I have never considered him as anything more than a friend, and have never (and still don't) wished we could be anything more. As I said, he is like a brother. When I woke up I felt SO guilty.
What could this dream mean, and should I feel bad about it?

I've had dreams like that before. I can definitely see how you're feeling guilty. My theory is, don't let dreams confuse you. I believe that dreams are basically a reflection of some of our innermost thoughts. Somewhere deep in your mind you've thought about kissing your flatmate, but it's not something that you'd necessarily want or act upon. Dreams can get really scary in so many ways, but try to think of them as telling the past or present instead of the future. It's just something in your mind and doesn't mean anything unless you make it that way. Would you feel so guilty if you had a dream about kissing a 90 year old? Probably not, you'd likely feel completely grossed out. You'd disregard the dream completely. I don't know if you're religious, but dreams are sort of God's way of revealing things about ourselves to us. You probably never consciously fantasized about kissing your flatmate, so now, your dream helped you learn something about yourself. It's always your choice what you do with the information. I hope I helped you feel a little better and try not to worry so much about your dreams. Plus, it's not cheating to look, and that's all that you did. It's perfectly okay. Don't punish yourself for something you have no control over! Good luck :)

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I feel really moronic asking this because it's stupid and one of those annoying Valentine's Day questions, but it would be really nice if someone could try to help. I'm 13 in the 7th grade and I've really liked this guy named Will for a long time. He's not quite a best friend, but a friend nevertheless. I was wondering whether on Valentine's Day it would be stodgy to send him a carnation (the school is selling carnations on Valentine's Day to donate money to child prostitutes in India) anonymously? I don't think he would laugh because he's a pretty romantic and sensitive guy himself. What do you think?

They used to have that in my school! Sending Will a carnation is a great idea. What have you got to lose? He's a good friend of yours so even if he doesn't get the hint it wouldn't be awkward because people send flowers to friends all the time. He'd have to be pretty clueless to not get the hint though. I think it's an excellent foolproof plan. Go for it!

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There is this guy(16)in my "off season" athletics class, and I've always thought that he was cute but we didn't start talking to this year, and lately we have been having free period and me and him were walking through our training gym and he was like; I like you and kissed me, then the next day i was looking through his wallet and saw a picture of my friend and was like woah you know her and he was like yeah shes my girlfriend you know her? and i was like yeah she is one of my friends and he looked a little embarrassed. Today he kept flirting with me and i was like no were not talking you have a girlfriend and he was like i know but i really like you. What do I do i really like him but me and his girlfriend are friend well more aquaintences but we still talk. Should I wait for him or just blow him off cuz if he did this to her then he'll probably do it to me right? sorry so long i'll rate good

Alix

Tell him he has to make a decision. If he likes you than he needs to break up with the other girl. He can't have more than one girl. At this point he is really using you. Give him some time to make up his mind and if he can't then he's not for you. He has to want to be with you, not flirt and kiss and have another girlfriend. Just tell him how it is. I think that he may actualy choose you to be honest. Good luck!

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Today the kid who sits across from me(who i kind of like, but would go out with) said,"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" I said "what?" "Do you wan't to be my girlfriend?" I kind of laughed it off.
The thing is, even though i would go out with him, we fight like brother and sister so I'm not sure if he's being serious about this or not. You can't really tell with him. How do I find out if he was actually serious or not? (He asked out one of my bfs yesterday and got turned down)

Please help
I rate

I'd say give it a shot. What have you got to lose? If you find out he was joking you can just say you were joking too or something like that. You two could end up being a great couple, don't lose that opportunity! I hope I helped and I wish you luck.

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omg im like going to die i borrowed a friends pair of light jeans last week and i have my period and i leaked throu on them and i put peeroxide on it and put it in the dryer and ran them through cold water and it didnt come out please how do you get period stains out!!?!?!? i need help fast shes going to be here in like and hour

Never use hot water. All you can do when that happens is soap, cold water, and a lot of hardcore scrubbing. Running it through the wash can help, but if you're having a really hard time with it it may not come out. I think you should just tell your friend what happened she will understand. Offer to buy her a new pair of jeans. Good luck!

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So on friday 4 girlfriends and 1-2 guy friends are comin over just to hang out (we're all 15 and 16 btw) Well after a while i know fo sho that its goin to be boooring. what are some fun games to play? we dont want any kissing games (we've all known each other for so long itd be awkward lol)But something similar to Ten Fingers or like pictionary.. Please help asap! i rate 5s :]
~0503 Rep~

Twister would be awesome. Cranium is a good game as are Balderdash and Pictionary. Get a few movies just in case. I hope that your party goes well and good luck!

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Why are some guys such JERKS? No, that's not really my question, but I would like to know.

My question is this... I have a boyfriend. I think. Thing is, I haven't spoken to him since early December. He WON'T take my calls. How do I know? "Hello Mrs. Carr, is Andrew home?"
"Just a second" *calls his name in the backround*
*Andrew whispers back* "Who is it?"
"May I ask who's calling?"
"Yes ma'am, it's Brandy."
*Andrew whispering again* "I'm not home."
*His mom* "Brandy honey, could you call back in a few minutes please?"
"Of course."
So I wait a few minutes, about fifteen, and call back. NO ANSWER. I call my friend Meg who lives right next door to him and asked if he was there. She said yes. I called him again. No answer. I waited a few more minutes and called back. No answer.

He missed my birthday and hasn't spoken to me at all in over a month. I just don't know what to think. I mean, he hasn't broken up with me, so does he want to be with me? And if he didn't want to be with me, couldn't he grow some cohones and tell me instead of ignoring me?

*Sigh*

I think that you shouldn't let his mom walk all over you like that. If you know he's there tell her so and tell her to give him the phone. You need some closure on this relationship and a chance to tell him how you feel. Let him know how much of an immature jerk he's being and that since he was too scared to tell you that he doesn't want to be with you anymore you're dumping his sorry butt yourself. Don't ever let a guy do that to you! You really need to stand up for yourself. I think that this will help you feel a lot better. I wish you the best of luck.

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ok so this is basically a follow up of my other question.
like i said in the last one, me and my sister dont' get along anymore. which just basically sucks. well so the other night she tells me she hates me and she wasn't playing arund i could tell and she told me today again she did and shes repeated more times. i guess just to keep me aware that i know. who knows. well like i can't talk to her because she wont listen. like you can say some people are stubborn. shes stubborn but its her bf. well he basically controls her. well i cried thatnight when she first told me that and i cried this morning in class and now again because she just told me again. and i don't know what to do. to either keep hiding that it hurts me so much or just i don't know. i jsut want some advice i can use. thx in advance.

Sisters will always have differences especially in their teen years. All kinds of bickering and fighting that you'll realize was so silly later in life. Everyone would always tell me how much I'd like my sister and get along with her when we were a little older, but I could never believe them. Truth is they were right! Just be patient. Remember that she does NOT hate you. People say things in the heat of the moment that they don't mean. She loves you very much and will always be there for you. I hope I helped you and good luck!

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there is this girl that i realy like

(she is in 8th grade and i am in 7th)

the only problem is that our parents are going out... what should i do?

Most of the time when you like someone, they like you back. Don't worry about that. If she's worth it (she sounds like she is) be willing to take the plunge. Before asking her out I think that you need to talk to your parent that's dating her parent. It would be the respectful thing to do and you'd figure out how they would feel about it. Personally, I think that it is perfectly okay just as long as you aren't living together. If you're living together it's incest. I hope I helped you and good luck. :)

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recently, ive been cutting. i cut because i have so much emotional pain, it relieves me when i cut. it makes me forget all about my emotional pain because i focus on the physical pain. well, just this morning, i found myself thinking of suicide. this afternoon during health class too. We were talking about cutting in health class today and i just wanted to die. i was so uncomfortable. only 2 people knew about me cutting in my health class besides me but i still wanted to die. I dont have a boyfriend. I dont think im pretty enough to. My life is fucked up. no one cares about me. my parents are never home and when they are, they just yell at me. They always fight too. But the thing is, i wouldnt trade my life for anybody elses. its the way that i know life. I wouldnt trade it. and im serious. I wore a belly shirt to school a few days ago. Bad choice. some people saw my cut i made on my stomach and they said stuff to me. No one understands me. They think that i have the ideal life and they even tell me that. i dont. every one thinks i am perfect (or have to be) becuase my dad is a pastor of a small hick church... which i hate. I dont believe that shit. w/e. i wanted to stop cutting until today. i did it again today. its just a bad habit. any suggestions? anything anyone wants to say to me?? yes i have contemplated suicide. several times.

Because you felt uncomfortable hearing about cutting in health class I think that that's a sign that you realize how unrealistic it is. Cutting doesn't make you feel any better and it isn't relief from pain. It's just different pain. It's only building up inside and getting worse. Proof of that being that you don't want to stop anymore. Instead of replacing pain with more pain you need to learn how to cope better with what is going on in your life and start replacing all pain with other things. I don't mean the "cope better" statement in a bad way. Whether it be anger, stress, criticism, or fear, everyone has problems coping with things. I think that you are a very smart person and are very in tune with yourself and your emotions. Because of that I believe that you will be able to get over this bad habit of yours and the suicidal thoughts that you are having. It's very good that you have friends that you have talked to already. Another good sign. My guess is that you have a very confused view of yourself physically. You say that you aren't pretty enough for a boyfriend, yet you wore a belly shirt to school, which shows that you are confident with and proud of your body. You aren't the problem in your lack of being in a relationship. Most high school and practically all middle school relationships are very immature. They're more causual relationships because at that age it's hard for couples to connect on an emotional level. Guys probably aren't looking for the type of girl that you are just yet. I would imagine you being quite pretty. I never even got asked out by a guy until I was 18. I didn't think I was very attractive because of this, but now I realize that I am. Don't worry about guys, someone will come along when the time is right. Remember that you're not just unlucky. Good things will come to you in your life and they will be very deserved. Right now you have a lot of stress in your life. What you need to do is try to find ways to deal with your stress. I have a few questions for you. Are you getting the right amount of nutrition? Sometimes a poor diet can add to negative feelings. Are you exercising? Exercise has been a proven way to relieve stress. It's a very good outlet and when I was depressed last year I exercised every day. I felt so much better after doing that. Are you getting enough sleep? Sometimes lack of sleep or even too much sleep can affect your emotions negatively. Have you sought spiritual guidance? Religion, can be a very good outlet for stress. Religion doesn't necessarily mean believing in God or anything like that. It means believing that you have a positive purpose in life. Such as achieving happiness, having kids, fate, or anything really. If you don't think you have a purpose, try to think of one and work towards it. There are some other things that you can change or do. Assert yourself. Meaning, let other people know your needs. For example, tell your parents that you can't handle them fighting all the time and they need to go outside to do that or something. Also consider suggesting they get divorced. That would get rid of a lot of stress in your life. One of my friends' parents got divorced and she was so happy after it happened. The thought of it upset her at first, but when it came to it, all the fighting stopped and both of her parents remarried giving her a larger and much happier family. Try to improve your personal relationships with friends and family. Spend more time with friends and share your personal thoughts and feelings with them. Set up a social support network with the friends that you told. I think that you should tell them that you have had suicidal thoughts. I'm sure they want to help you. Listen to them and believe what they tell you, they really care about you. Spending more time away from your fighting parents may relieve you of some of your stress too. Try to manage your time to keep yourself from being alone with nothing to do. Alone time is important, but alone time with nothing to do gives you the ability and opportunity to cut. Try to be more optimistic. Don't take things for granted and enjoy what's around you. Know that someone else out there has it much worse than you so be grateful for what you have. You're not constantly looking over your shoulder and expecting to see a gun pointed at you. These thoughts may help you relax. Try to laugh at things and diffuse the situation by finding the humor. Laughing, like exercise, is proven to relieve stress. Know that you control what happens to you. Keeping a journal will help you very much. I'd suggest an online one so nobody can find it etc. It also allows you to share it with people if you choose. Not only will it give you a change to get everything out, it will give you a chance to analyze your thoughts. I've done this before too. You can look at your feelings instead of just feel them. You'll see patters too. It will be easier to know what exactly is making you cut and why. Knowing what triggers it gives you the ability to stop the triggers from happening. For example, if being alone and thinking about everything brings you to cut yourself, you can work to prevent yourself from being in that type of situation. Taking a walk, doing yoga, listening to music, writing poems and things like that will also help you relax. To start, try wearing a rubber band around your wrist and snap yourself with it when you're feeling down. Try to make it so that you don't have access to things that you can cut yourself with. If you continue to have suicidal thoughts you need to tell a professional or call a hotline. That's very important. They can help you much more than anyone on here. I hope I was able to help you in some way and please think about some of the things I said. I hope that you feel better soon. Good luck. :)

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Is it gross or weird for a girl with very dark and coarse hair to shave her arms?

Wow, I think it would take way too much time and upkeep to do that. I was friends with an exchange student from Japan and she went to an all girls school there. From what she told me I gathered that girls in Japan shave both their arms and legs. I don't know if this is true, it could have just been a very large number of girls at her school. In any case, when she came to the United States she stopped shaving her arms. After years of doing it in Japan, when she got to the US, she saw that very few people did it here and immediately stopped. Not because she wanted to follow the crowd, but because it was so much work and she absolutely hated doing it. Here, it wasn't expected of her or thought to be gross if she didn't. I think that shaving your arms is odd. I rank it up there with shaving your eyebrows and drawing them in. It's just unnecessary. I have pretty noticeable hair on my arms, but shaving my legs is quite enough time to spend on hair removal for me. I think that waxing is silly because it costs money and I doubt that Nair or other hair removal products will work for you. They usually only work for people with thin hair. I'm assuming that you're from the US, so I really don't see a point in doing it. It's not something that society requires of us. Hairy arms aren't considered gross or weird and hairless arms aren't either. So, you would gain nothing by shaving your arms. I hope I helped you and good luck.

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I wrote and performed music for twenty years. Had fun, played with great people. I'm now 43, don't want to perform or write anymore, but don't know what to do next. I'm still an intellectually curious type; read all the time (which is thoroughly enjoyable up to a point) and listen to underground rock, old jazz, newly discovered classical, all that, but I NEED focus. I sit around all the time, and still use mind alterers, and don't know what the hell to do with myself! Any suggestions? Please, no religious freaks. Let me rephrase: no religion-oriented suggestions whatsoever. That includes AA.
Otherwise, advise away!
-Jack

Whoa! Relax about religion. You don't sound like you'd be very open to ideas that you don't like so keep in mind that the only things I know about you are what you included in your question. If you don't like my suggestions add more information so I have a better idea of what you'd enjoy. My advice for you would be to teach. You could get involved in a school at your area by teaching band, choir, drama, or even music. Teaching doesn't necessarily mean teaching kids at a school if you don't like kids or something. There are lots of adults out there that want to learn how to play a musical instrument or take voice lessons. You could even put on a drama production or start a community band, choir, or orchestra. Since you like to read have you considered becoming an author? I can't really come up with much else so I hope that something I said interested you. Good luck!

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I am a girl and was wondering if any other girls have the same thing that I have. Well this is going to sound really gross, but here goes. I have hair growing inside of my butt cheeks, right near my anus. It's not just fine hair either, it's dark and course, like the same type of hair that I have growing on my vagina. I goes all the way up my butt cheeks. It's so embarrassing! I also have dark hairs growing on my breasts, right around my nipples. My question is: is this normal? And if it's not, what can I do to get rid of it? It's too hard to shave down there. I would appreciate any advice!!

I think that it's quite normal. Lots of people have it, but they're too embarassed to admit it. When somebody makes a wisecrack about hairy butts probably at least half of the people that laugh are cringing inside just like you. Everyone has hair in those places. Thin blonde hair just wouldn't be noticeable. It's really not as bad as you think it is. It's not terribly noticeable and there's no reason to get rid of it. Who's going to see it anyways? If you have a boyfriend (or girlfriend?) they'd be really immature to say anything about it especially since they probably have it too. If you really want to though you can shave, you'll get the hang of it. Try using a hand held mirror so that you can see better. You could get it waxed, but I think that would be a waste of money. Things like nair wouldn't work well. Again, it's very normal so don't worry. I hope I helped you and good luck!

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