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cutting
recently, ive been cutting. i cut because i have so much emotional pain, it relieves me when i cut. it makes me forget all about my emotional pain because i focus on the physical pain. well, just this morning, i found myself thinking of suicide. this afternoon during health class too. We were talking about cutting in health class today and i just wanted to die. i was so uncomfortable. only 2 people knew about me cutting in my health class besides me but i still wanted to die. I dont have a boyfriend. I dont think im pretty enough to. My life is fucked up. no one cares about me. my parents are never home and when they are, they just yell at me. They always fight too. But the thing is, i wouldnt trade my life for anybody elses. its the way that i know life. I wouldnt trade it. and im serious. I wore a belly shirt to school a few days ago. Bad choice. some people saw my cut i made on my stomach and they said stuff to me. No one understands me. They think that i have the ideal life and they even tell me that. i dont. every one thinks i am perfect (or have to be) becuase my dad is a pastor of a small hick church... which i hate. I dont believe that shit. w/e. i wanted to stop cutting until today. i did it again today. its just a bad habit. any suggestions? anything anyone wants to say to me?? yes i have contemplated suicide. several times.
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I'm sure you have some serious problem causing all this anguish, but you just need to quit bitching and get over yourself. Do you know how selfish all that stuff you just said sounds? You want to feel better? Go do some volunteer work in the projects, then you'll get a taste of real despair. You want relief? Find someone who you trust enough and just tell them whats going on. You want to quit? Everytime you feel like cutting do something else, get one of those little stress balls and squeeze it till your rage and agony are gone.
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well sounds like your going through alot right know. and there are always going to be times in ourlives when we just want to kill ourselves. But once you commit to suicide theres no way to change it no way to come back. and maybe if you stick it out and maybe find some more friends and maybe get into sports or clubs. and then maybe you'll have a chance to change your life just a little. honestly i used to cut my self and i thought about suicide once.
but then if you think about it, ya cutting helps you feel releived, but commiting to suicide is one of the worst chooses any one can make. So think about and just try to relax and find someone who you can trust..
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Okay. I USED to be a cutter - so I know this whole thing. Yes, cutting is very addicting, and yes, it's unhealthy for you. But - it relieves tension & stress which is kinda good but kinda bad. It's very hard to stop & you know this & I do too. But, you need to. One of these days - you're going to cut too deep & die. :( Not cool. You can do so much with your life - why waste it? You have temporary problems - why solve it with something that's permanant? Once you die - you can't have your life back, you know. If you keep this up, someone is going to find out - which 2 people do as you mentioned - but more people can find out. And then what? They're going to tell on you & get you help - wether you like it or not. Because it's happening to me right now. I suggest to see a counselor, or see a doctor for depression medications - because you're obviously depressed too. Talk to somebody - specifically a really close friend who you trust, or a counselor. And how do you know that no one cares about you? Most people care, but they don't say anything because they think you already know it. Wear a rubber band around your wrist - and when you feel like cutting - snap it against your skin. Or, you can read, draw, paint, or write. I write when I feel like cutting. Writing is a really good way to relieve stress & tensions because it gets all your thoughts and feelings on paper & then you feel better. Just, please stop before you lose yourself.
&TiNA;
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well you should stop. i have a few friends that do that and to tell you the truth, i get very upset when they do it .. if you have things for exersizing at home .. then you should exersize becuause that lets anger out. . dont think you have a bad life, yes everyone does think they have a bad life, but to be honest with you, you dont seem like you have a bad life at all . .
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heres the thing about cutting... it relieves tensions and its a way to forget about emotional pain. i used to cut up until like august. it brings nothing but more trouble and more emotional pain. i started when i was 15 and im now 17. You need to stop now before its to late. i ended up in the hospital and get sent to a mental hospital becuase of cutting. i met a gurl there that changed my life and helped me stop cutting. she was my roomate and she was a hardcore cutter. SHe would use steak knives on her wrists and she would cut so deep it was sickening. its like she was addicted to it and she was suicidal, i was suicidal as well. thinking about death is something a lot people do. but not to many people act on it. and no one really should. its all in your head, if you have the urge to cut i advise you to put a rubber band around your wrist and if u wanna cut just snap it on your skin. it helps trust me. and it really is a bad habit. you need to talk to a school counselor about it if you really are feeling suicidal. i really urge you to talk to someone before it gets worse. seriously i cant stress this enough, you always have to think that theres somebody out there that has it 50 times worse than you. think about how much pain your parents and friends would be in if you werent alive anymore. please if u wanna talk you can im me at xtwistedmelon22 or email me at ashc1114@aol.com
i guess thats all i can say to you. good luck and stay strong.
xoxo ash
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well , you know you do have to stop . you'll endup geting a skin eating bacteria and die , but apparently thats what you want. you have to find a diffrent way to let go of stress . bite you nails , play with your hair , paint , exersice anything but that play flaf football , you can tackle even when your a girl !. life does suck when your parents are never around and when the decide to show their faces they yell because your their outlete . and your right , it does suck when everyone things you have a great life and they cant really see the big picture that your truly misarable . heres my advice , most highschools require you to have service hours to graduate, so go to a hospital and read to the elderly or the little kids . it will definetly make you feel better , you can feel needed and no one will judge you . the kids in the hopsital will be your reason to want to stop. they will need you because their parents probably arent there when they need them and they are scared . i know this sounds really dumb but if you want to talk just send it in a form of a question.
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maybe, if you are cutting a lot of times a day, then you should try to limit the amount of times each day, and keep getting lower. that has helped me when i need to break a bad habit. also, try to give yourself rewards.
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Tough being a pastor's kid, I know. My dad was a pastor of a small hick church too. (Seriously! There were actually 2 churches in rural North Dakota where I grew up, so it doesn't get a whole lot hicker than that). I thought it was funny, because a classmate of mine cussed near me once, and apologized to ME...(apparently thought I might put a bad word into God about him if he didn't apologize...ha!). I should have said "Goddam it boy, you keep up with that shit and you're going to hell". LOL. Anyway, you're right...it's common for others to think this way or that because of being a pastor's kid. (Just thought I'd share that with you to help you smile. Sounds like you could use one!)
So.. where is the emotional pain coming from? Home life? School stuff? All of the above? Sucks that your parents aren't really there for you, but I'm sure they care. I'm guessing they are probably so busy and stressed that they don't see how that is affecting you. I think the trick here is finding the source of all that emotional pain, and thinking of some alternative ways to deal with it. If the pain is coming from home life, tell your parents you need to tell them how you're feeling when they yell at you and fight all the time! (Write them a note if you're not comfortable talking to them). You say you've considered suicide. I say... don't let all this crap win by letting it take you to that point. You wouldn't trade your life anyone elses right? So, let's not trade it for death either! Deal? There's at least 47 different ways to deal with any one problem. (Why 47? I don't know. I just made that up. It sounds about right though, give or take...). Try to identify the source of your emotional pain, and then post more questions here to get ideas of how to handle that without having to cut or worse! Anyone that responds... cares. Anyone that has something nice to says... is concerned. Draw upon that for strength. Not every situation will stay the same as it is today... your life is constantly evolving and changing. Things suck now, but I bet they will get better if you commit to working towards that! Doesn't mean changing who you are or what made you the person you are today.. it's acknowledging that you are a unique and valuable person, and you deserve to have your life be how you want it to be... free from affect of the things that bother you the most.
As other people have mentioned, there are some ways to help focus that pain without breakin the skin. Watch 4 straight hours of TV evangelists... that will hurt far more than any cut. (heehee). Some have already been mentioned... the rubber band snap, the ice cube squeeze, carry a toothpick with you and poke it in between your fingers (not hard enough to break the skin... just so it hurts). These are just to get you away from the cutting for now, with the next step being to focus on the emotional pain things and start to work those out.
One more quick thing... a boyfriend who likes you for looks only, is shallow and you don't need that. A guy that likes you for YOU is worth waiting for. And he will come around... guarantee it. Be yourself, regardless of how people think you should or shouldn't act.
Now... set this all aside for awhile and go do something you really enjoy. Read a book, watch a good movie, listen to some tunes, have some Doritos and a Snickers bar! If you feel like cutting, turn on the TV and watch the President give his State of the Union address instead. (OUCH OUCH OUCH!!!....
Peace and all the best to you!
G.
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O wow!!! well im really sorry that you are in this situatuion but i think that is you are uncomfortable hearing about it in a heaqlth class then that might be a sign to stop.... cutting NEVER helps anything and it is not good for you or the people around you...your friends are probably very worried about u i think that if you are truly hurting yourself than you need to go to your school conciler and i think you should talk to them and tell them everything you to here... if you dont have a school conciler than the next best thing is to talk to your friends..... make a pact with them saying that they wont be your friend if you keep doin i t.. i know that you want to keep doing it but it is not good for you i mean one slip of the knife and you are dead.. ya i know your saying it wont happen to you but it might if you keep doing this...DO some reaseach on it and find out som information about how to stop and how to cope wityh your pain in a better more succesful way...It might even help to read some stories about the dangers of cutting and to read/see true stories about cutters your age and how much damagew it has done to them. or it could be about how they died I know that it is a way to let out your pain buyt think of something else to do.. like writing poetry or listening to music... try to get your mind off of it .... do something that truley makes you happy. just go to your happy place i guess... just please be careful because i know that everytime that you do this that it hurts your friends more than it hurts you.. you cant do this to yourself and you should try your hardest to stop. and when you say that that you thought about suicide i mean ya that might be scary but i mean just think about ofther things.. go out with your friends as much as possible get out of your house(were the knifes are)and get your mind off of it.. even if it is only for 1 or 2 hours i mean that ius one or two hours that you didnt think about death... Just try your hardest to stop and i mean if you truley need more informatioon on this or you just need to talk to someone my screen name is....
IRideShortBUs180
I hope i helped and i hope that we can talk sometime... i think i can help
Askme247
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i know most people would naturally say to stop cutting and talk to someone you trust or a professional...blah, blah, blah... but i have the same problem, i cut, i always promise myself i wont do it anymore but i always end up doing it again. its like an obbsession, i read somewhere that there are things you can do that relieve your emotional pain, however, they arent as harmful to you (rubbing an ice cube where you would normally cut, putting a rubbband around your wrist and snapping it, use a pen to act out cutting) personally, none of these would ever work for me. so basically my advice to you would be, if you need to cut to live (ironic, huh?) do it. but seriously think about suicide, you are ending your life with one stupid mistake. you only get one chance at life, do what you can to get by, but dont let that chance slip.
i really hope a helped a little.
bye...
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Because you felt uncomfortable hearing about cutting in health class I think that that's a sign that you realize how unrealistic it is. Cutting doesn't make you feel any better and it isn't relief from pain. It's just different pain. It's only building up inside and getting worse. Proof of that being that you don't want to stop anymore. Instead of replacing pain with more pain you need to learn how to cope better with what is going on in your life and start replacing all pain with other things. I don't mean the "cope better" statement in a bad way. Whether it be anger, stress, criticism, or fear, everyone has problems coping with things. I think that you are a very smart person and are very in tune with yourself and your emotions. Because of that I believe that you will be able to get over this bad habit of yours and the suicidal thoughts that you are having. It's very good that you have friends that you have talked to already. Another good sign. My guess is that you have a very confused view of yourself physically. You say that you aren't pretty enough for a boyfriend, yet you wore a belly shirt to school, which shows that you are confident with and proud of your body. You aren't the problem in your lack of being in a relationship. Most high school and practically all middle school relationships are very immature. They're more causual relationships because at that age it's hard for couples to connect on an emotional level. Guys probably aren't looking for the type of girl that you are just yet. I would imagine you being quite pretty. I never even got asked out by a guy until I was 18. I didn't think I was very attractive because of this, but now I realize that I am. Don't worry about guys, someone will come along when the time is right. Remember that you're not just unlucky. Good things will come to you in your life and they will be very deserved. Right now you have a lot of stress in your life. What you need to do is try to find ways to deal with your stress. I have a few questions for you. Are you getting the right amount of nutrition? Sometimes a poor diet can add to negative feelings. Are you exercising? Exercise has been a proven way to relieve stress. It's a very good outlet and when I was depressed last year I exercised every day. I felt so much better after doing that. Are you getting enough sleep? Sometimes lack of sleep or even too much sleep can affect your emotions negatively. Have you sought spiritual guidance? Religion, can be a very good outlet for stress. Religion doesn't necessarily mean believing in God or anything like that. It means believing that you have a positive purpose in life. Such as achieving happiness, having kids, fate, or anything really. If you don't think you have a purpose, try to think of one and work towards it. There are some other things that you can change or do. Assert yourself. Meaning, let other people know your needs. For example, tell your parents that you can't handle them fighting all the time and they need to go outside to do that or something. Also consider suggesting they get divorced. That would get rid of a lot of stress in your life. One of my friends' parents got divorced and she was so happy after it happened. The thought of it upset her at first, but when it came to it, all the fighting stopped and both of her parents remarried giving her a larger and much happier family. Try to improve your personal relationships with friends and family. Spend more time with friends and share your personal thoughts and feelings with them. Set up a social support network with the friends that you told. I think that you should tell them that you have had suicidal thoughts. I'm sure they want to help you. Listen to them and believe what they tell you, they really care about you. Spending more time away from your fighting parents may relieve you of some of your stress too. Try to manage your time to keep yourself from being alone with nothing to do. Alone time is important, but alone time with nothing to do gives you the ability and opportunity to cut. Try to be more optimistic. Don't take things for granted and enjoy what's around you. Know that someone else out there has it much worse than you so be grateful for what you have. You're not constantly looking over your shoulder and expecting to see a gun pointed at you. These thoughts may help you relax. Try to laugh at things and diffuse the situation by finding the humor. Laughing, like exercise, is proven to relieve stress. Know that you control what happens to you. Keeping a journal will help you very much. I'd suggest an online one so nobody can find it etc. It also allows you to share it with people if you choose. Not only will it give you a change to get everything out, it will give you a chance to analyze your thoughts. I've done this before too. You can look at your feelings instead of just feel them. You'll see patters too. It will be easier to know what exactly is making you cut and why. Knowing what triggers it gives you the ability to stop the triggers from happening. For example, if being alone and thinking about everything brings you to cut yourself, you can work to prevent yourself from being in that type of situation. Taking a walk, doing yoga, listening to music, writing poems and things like that will also help you relax. To start, try wearing a rubber band around your wrist and snap yourself with it when you're feeling down. Try to make it so that you don't have access to things that you can cut yourself with. If you continue to have suicidal thoughts you need to tell a professional or call a hotline. That's very important. They can help you much more than anyone on here. I hope I was able to help you in some way and please think about some of the things I said. I hope that you feel better soon. Good luck. :)
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Well actually cutting never helps you can get seriously hurt from doing it my friend does it ... So I will tell you the same thing i told my friend...listen to music that will make you happier, talk to your friends and have a good time,Or better yet to try and enjoy life ..to read between the lines of life, dont just look at things and think they are something you have to get to know it first.... (if you know what I mean), but also talk to your parents and tell them to stop fighting... Usually almost all cutting and suicide habbits start with parents and boyfriend problems... just talk to them about it.... Hope I Helped!
~*+*Adriana*+*~
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please know that people like me who youve never even met care about you
something you can do is go out and buy a super cuute tank top and wait untill you can wear it. wearin can be your motivation to not cut.
you can also tell your parents (or anyone else trusted) how you feelso that you can get help from like a psycologist
please know that people care about you even thouh you might not think so and please dont cut!
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Getting Help
There are better ways to deal with troubles than cutting - healthier, long-lasting ways that don't leave a person with emotional and physical scars. The first step is to get help with the troubles that led to the cutting in the first place. Here are some ideas for doing that:
1.Tell someone
2.Identify the trouble that's triggering the cutting
3.Ask for help
4. Work on it
*Although cutting can be a difficult pattern to break, it is possible.*
These substitute behaviors won't work for everyone. They also don't help people get in touch with why they are cutting. What they do is provide immediate relief in a way that doesn't involve cutting, and therefore holds less risk of harm.
rub an ice cube on your skin instead of cutting it. Wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it gently against your skin. Draw on the skin with a soft-tipped red pen in the place you might usually cut.
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you should realize that your parents do care about you, i dont know them or you, but they do, and so do all of your friends, my friend has cut before and it really made us all worried about her, it really hurt us to see that she was hurting herself so bad, try talking to your school counselor about depression if you dont feel comfortable talking to your parents, and dont be afraid about it either, its not something thats bad, lots of people need help with it, depression is caused alot of the time from medical reasons and not your life, medication really helps, i used to be on it and it was helpful, and try exercise over cutting, find something you love to do
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It sounds like you are going through a hard time, but times pass. When you get out of a depression you are able to realise (sometimes for the first time), how great life really is.
Now,
Have you ever tried telling your parents about your suicidal thoughts? How about showing them your cuts.
You could always tell a teacher or school counselor how you feel, and by law they have to get you help.
Medicine can help too if you need it. I'm on meds. I've heard Welbutrin works wonders for depression and has positive sexual side effects.
Good Luck
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First thing, it's good to hear you say that you want to stop doing that. I don't know how old you are, and that sometimes has somethign to do with what you are going though, but to have things fucked up as you put it isn't good. YOu do realize that point of view though is yours, it's how you see it. As you said, others are cleara that they don't see your life the same way. I understand the feeling of releaving the emotional pain with physical. You have to find another outlet for relieving that pain you feel. Have you tried using a journal? Sometimes just writing things out and getting them out of your head helps. Are you into music? Do you play any instruments or write music? Why not put that emotion into something like that? IF you are an art person, you could put something together in that aspect to reflect what you have inside. Along with the thought of writing, even if it's not just writing why not poems? They have no rules and you can let it all out that way. Usually that's what I end up doing. I can tell from what you have written that you don't have very high self esteem. If you are home alone often, why not see if you can have people over or go out somewhere. The more you keep youself isolated, the more these thoughts weill continue if you can't use one of those methods I mentioned earlier in this answer. I hope you understand and follow through with your decision to stop.
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