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Boyfriend... Ex boyfriend... I just don't know!
Why are some guys such JERKS? No, that's not really my question, but I would like to know.
My question is this... I have a boyfriend. I think. Thing is, I haven't spoken to him since early December. He WON'T take my calls. How do I know? "Hello Mrs. Carr, is Andrew home?"
"Just a second" *calls his name in the backround*
*Andrew whispers back* "Who is it?"
"May I ask who's calling?"
"Yes ma'am, it's Brandy."
*Andrew whispering again* "I'm not home."
*His mom* "Brandy honey, could you call back in a few minutes please?"
"Of course."
So I wait a few minutes, about fifteen, and call back. NO ANSWER. I call my friend Meg who lives right next door to him and asked if he was there. She said yes. I called him again. No answer. I waited a few more minutes and called back. No answer.
He missed my birthday and hasn't spoken to me at all in over a month. I just don't know what to think. I mean, he hasn't broken up with me, so does he want to be with me? And if he didn't want to be with me, couldn't he grow some cohones and tell me instead of ignoring me?
*Sigh*
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Why do chicks dig jerks?
Copyright © 1996 Drew Mcpherson
The human condition promotes learning through trial and error; it is a fatiguing and often frustrating means of education. Women are excellent teachers of the bitter lesson that being a nice guy does not get a man laid. An "average" guy (who is often the one most capable of love and trust) is routinely brushed off as a "loser", and passed over for an abusive jerk who screeches up in a Porsche, scores, and disappears. So in a woman's mind, if a man is nice, he's weak. The nice guy wanders through life in a state of psychic castration, his heart scarred by the talons of female avarice and flawed psychology. He is a poor fool who has listened too literally to the women who lie that what they want from men is adoration and understanding. He has not suffered enough trial and error to lay bare the clandestine agendas of the female gender. So the nice guy has to settle for the vicarious company of flirting with a photo in a magazine delivered in a plain brown wrapper. But what of the "bad boy" phenomenon? Every man knows, or has seen in action, that the more he abuses women, the more successful he will be in attracting them; and the nicer he is, the more likely he will wind up as a "friend". But most men are socialized to cultivate harmony, not discord, and so they refuse to participate in such pathology. Most men are nice guys, who have no interest in acting like jerks to women. Logic would suggest that a woman would want to avoid being brutalized, so why then does she so lustfully climb up on the back of a Harley, instead of, as usual, wait for a limo to appear? The answer has to be unraveled from the tangled mess of feminine psychology. What a woman really wants is a rich bastard who turns out in the end to be a nice guy-he is the storybook hero of her novels and soap operas. But she will settle-for the short term, at least-for a poor thug who can offer her excitement. In her muddled vision of the world, she equates abusive behavior with earning power, because she assumes that television and the movies actually mirror reality, so that successful men are always conniving, ruthless, and underhanded. Bad boys are untamed and reckless and charged with sexuality. They are a "challenge" (meaning that they don't instantly fall prey to her Pussy Power). Flexing their Neanderthal biceps they are apt to drag her off to the nearest cave, and she can feel-for once-powerless in their grip, a rape fantasy come to life. A woman's hormone-driven "logic" will equate excitement with money, at least until she tires of eating at taco joints. She glories in the sensation of raw adventure-it is the same thrill which ripples through her when a rich boyfriend pampers her and indulges her every whim. For as long as she dallies with the bad boy-and it will be brief because his budget is in his pants-she can afford to let herself be wild, to experience unfettered humanity, to freely express her sexuality as nature intended. For a few racing heartbeats she will cease to be a whore and become a human being. And when the fling is over, her "morality" has not been compromised in any way-she can reconstruct her delusional self-image by accusing the bad boy of abusing her.
The average woman is a spoiled child, a selfish and arrogant bundle of desires, raised to be a rapacious taker from men. By the age of 5 or 6 a little girl has learned to scramble up onto Daddy's lap and to manipulate him with flowing tears or a sly look or a downturned face. He responds by taking care of her every need. Daddy is only nobly trying to insulate his little girl from what he knows to be a hard world, but unfortunately he's green-lighting her future as an abuser of men. She has already begun to grasp the raw power of her femininity-by acting "female" she can get anything she wants from a man. For some reason these tactics don't seem to work very well on Mommy, so she understands that her power draws its energy from the opposite gender. By the time her breasts begin to swell and her figure rounds into soft curves, she's discovered exactly how this power works. She is well aware of the effect she has on the boys around her, how much they seem to lust after her ripening body. The more they want her, the more she realizes the value of her commodity. She exults in her new-found strength, sensing its awesome potential, and even chuckles haughtily to herself at the boys who ogle her when she wiggles by. She understands that she is in control-this is something she can use to her advantage. It is the birth of an attitude which will ruin normal relationships with men for the rest of her life.
Meanwhile, Mom and Church, witnessing the verge of her womanhood, begin to instruct her to withhold sex, sermonizing that her body is a "gift" which she must save to give to "someone special". But it's too late. She's already learned that it's not a gift, but stock in trade-boys are waiting in line to bring her presents and compete for her attention. She really doesn't understand what all the fuss is about, why they are so intent on "getting into her pants". She has already assimilated the knowledge that her body is a tool, to be used for gain, not pleasure. Her mother continually warns her that "nice girls don't", and the more she holds out, the bigger the pile of presents grows. She doesn't realize that "nice girls don't" is just a euphemism for dishonest prostitution; that as she flirts and sticks out her breasts and wears sexually provocative clothing she is exchanging the promise of sex for gifts (money). And Mom is frantic to make sure that she remains a "good girl" (dishonest whore), so she teaches her that if a boy really likes you, he'll: take you out (spend money on you); date you exclusively (he's willing to let you train him, and he won't be wasting the resources he could be giving to you on other girls); and not demand sex in return (play the game by your rules, so that you can extort as much money as possible from him without obligation before surrendering your "gift", if you do at all). Mom is teaching her that for women, love is power; for men, it is enslavement. The greater a man's sexual needs, the more obedient he will be forced to become. If she manages her "gift" astutely, the payoff will be a lifetime of ease without her ever having to lift a finger.
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It's fairly safe to say that you don't actually have a boyfriend anymore. He doesn't view himself as being with you, but he's too afraid to actually tell you that to your face. This elaborate avoiding of you is his way of trying to give you the message that it's over.
And quite frankly, you can do a lot better than someone this insensitive.
Best of luck!
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i'm sorry to say, but hes a real jerk. if you guys havent spoken since early december and he wont take your calls, then, well, he doesnt have the cohones to tell you. if he hasnt broken up with you yet, then its up to you to step up and show him that you wont be treated this way by your boyfriend. i mean, he missed your birth-day! dump him now before you get too attached. and the signs hes sending you are pretty negative, he probably doesnt want to be with you anymore, and you should want to be with him
good luck, xoxo
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hmmm...go over Megs house and just show up randomly asking if he's home,first befor all of this ask MEG to call him,to see if he's home.then you and meg and him can go some where,take a walk,whatever.does meg have a dog? you can take her dog for a walk if she does.but after you have to think of a plan for you to have you and him alone,and ask what happend.meg doesnt have to be in the walk if you dont want her to XD. also you can write a note to him asking about you,then have Meg give it to him. you know,the whole friend thingy :].He really sucks,im serious,what kinda boy does that.If you really want to,called in a diff. voice and say a diff. name,(only if his mom answers)and *67 him so its private,hope i semi-helped! :D
go0oo0o0od luck!!!!
<<3
xdarkdesirex
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there is a guy for you. he thinks hes being nice by not breaking up with you and i guess waiting for you to break up with him but in reality hes not being nice at all. just wait till hes not home and call his house and leave a mean message on his machine. i know its not the nicest thing but see whats hes put you through for 2 monthes?
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Wow, he is a jerk. I don't think that anyone knows why guys are like that. It's just the way some guys are, not all. I'm not trying to be rude, but I'm going to give you my honest opinion. I don't think he wants to be with you. I also don't think you guys are even dating anymore. When a guy does that it simplpy shows that he isn't interested in the girl anymore. I just wish they had some guys to say what the thought instead of pulling of stupid b.s. Anyways, he really does need to grow up. Ask your friend to ask him if he's mad at you for something. That could be it? But if you didn't do anything wrong that it's not your fault and there isn't much you can do about it. My advice to you is to get over this guy. He is worthless and a waste of your time and agravation. Get over him and find someone who will treat you better then this jerk. You deserve better and just don't let him get to you.
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YES! thats an asshole for ya..
I would take that you guys aren`t together hun.. He`s punk to not call you an mention that your broke up..
I`d just move on hunny if i was you.. Give up on calling and everything..
You defiantly deserve better so get out there and find a good guy.. ♥Dez
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ya your right he is definently a jerk. Gurl you shouldnt let him or his mom walk over you. It looks to me that you have two options: You can either call him and if you know hes there, tell his mom to hand him the phone, and then tell him off and break up with him. because this relationship isnt working. Or you can just move on and ignore him just like hes doing to you_ Because it sorta sounds like you guys have already broken up.
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I think that you shouldn't let his mom walk all over you like that. If you know he's there tell her so and tell her to give him the phone. You need some closure on this relationship and a chance to tell him how you feel. Let him know how much of an immature jerk he's being and that since he was too scared to tell you that he doesn't want to be with you anymore you're dumping his sorry butt yourself. Don't ever let a guy do that to you! You really need to stand up for yourself. I think that this will help you feel a lot better. I wish you the best of luck.
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Brandy Brandy...
You're so young and nieve ( what an age to be ).
First off -- If your b/f hasn't contacted you in a couple days let alone a couple months ( ah heem including passing all the holidays?!?!?!) consider that a break up.
Andrew's just young and immature; he doesn't know how to deal with his problems correctly yet. It's a mistake that happens to almsot all of us when we jump into the dating world.
I know closure and maybe an explanation is what you're probably looking for, but sometimes life just doesnt toss you the right cards.
What an ass Andrew is though, letting a prettie little byrd like you wait day in and day out. I'm sorry you had to go through this Brandy, but it's a lesson learned, and it's time to move on.
~Infamous Trump~
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Wow! He is such a jerk!
Move on. You don't need him. And he missed your birthday? That is just so messed up.
Seems to me like you guys already sort of broke up without you knowing because he didn't have the guts to tell you.
Either break up with him officially or just ignore him like he does to you.
♥
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He is definitely a jerk. That's putting it mildly.
Consider yourself broke up. He is just to big a sissy to come right out and say so.
Don't waste any more of your time calling him. There are plenty more guys out there who are real men. Go get yourself one of those! :)
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