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Hey Everyone :) I'm Kate and a level 2 mod on here. I've had this account since July 2004, so I've been on here since I was 13! Wow ... crazy for me to think how long ago that was. I will admit I don't check in as often as I once did, but being away at college, being in a sorority, and having a job when I'm not at school is very time consuming. I still try to help out as much as possible, and if you send me a question I WILL answer it. This site helped me a LOT when I was in high school and had a lot of questions, and I'm here to help anyone who needs it :) Feel free to write in my forum or send me a question any time!

advice

with an average income, how much would you spend on your 15 year old child?

thanks

Well if you mean total, and it's your only child, and average income is a good $35,000 - $50,000 a year, then maybe $1,000. Because 15 year olds are looking for electronics. A CD player, a tv, a DVD player, a mp3 player, and if it's a guy, then ps2, x-box, gamecube, and if it's a girl, then make-up and cute clothes. So if it's an only child and by average income you mean what I said above, than maybe anywhere from $500 TOTAL- $1,000 TOTAL! If you mean the most you'd spend on just one gift, then $100, unless it's a gift card, then maybe a $500 to the most popular mall that he/she shops at, and then spend like $200 worth of small gifts and stocking stuffers that way that still have stuff they can open, but most the other stuff they can pick out themselves.

I have been searching for some selfharm websites that offer support to people who self harm. I haven't really found any good ones so can anyone tell me of any?

http://groups.msn.com/CutItOut

dear advice giver,
I am 13 years old and I do not like my body. I am young for my grade and I am considered rather small in my grade. But what bothers me the most is that I have no breats. I can't even fit into a size A yet. All my friends have breasts but I am as flat as a cardboard. Consider this, I am a size 34 in sports bras but not the size A to go with it. My mom is a 34B and she says that she grew at a slow rate. Please help.
-arielle-

I'm not really sure what breats are, but if you mean breasts, then I can help you. Well the only way to grow faster is by being fake.
~Stuffing your bra
~getting plastic surgery
~getting a shot (they have shots that make your boobs grow, and that make you taller)
Or you can do the normal thing and wait until they grow. There is no way to make your breasts grow faster without doing something fake. It's not that big of a deal, and if your mom is only a 34B, then your chances of having big breasts aren't very high. Breasts aren't all guys look at, and the bigger they are, the more your back hurts, and the more uncomfortable your bra feels, and the bigger shirt size you need. Talk to your doctor, she can help you figure it out. Flat as cardboard? That's a new one.

Everytime I answer a question on my advice column this thing comes up it says:Chatspeak detected.Please type in English. That is all I speak,type and write...English.PLEASE HELP! i rate REALLY HIGH!

If you spell words like you, like, everyone best friends forever, oh my gosh, what, and... any way different than the way I have spelt them, then it'll pop up. Advicenator_Admin decided to do this because there's too much slang on the site. There are a lot of other words on the list, such as any other way to type because, and all that other stuff. But the whole idea behind it, or so in my opinion, is if you're going to be giving advice, make it readable, and stop talking LyK DiS, AiGhT? It tends to get a bit annoying when people do that, and I guess admin just started to get fed up, I can tell you a lot of us moderators did.

Well I was wondering what I should write to my ex boyfriend in his card that I am getting him for Christmas....got any ideas?

Hmm,if it's for Tyler, then you guys are still friends, so you can write something like...

Hey, hope you fave a fantabulous x-mas! haha, or if he's racing sometime around the holiday's then be like Merry x-mas, good luck on the race, Love ya, Katie.
Or, if not, then you can be like, Hey, Hope you have a fun Christmas, party hard and have fun, see ya round, Katie.
Umm, that one will work if it's not Tyler too. Just write the same thing that'd you's write to Brian, or to someone else. I'll edit this later since Emily's getting on

Over the past month or so, I have been cutting my arm. I never cut the inside of my arm near to my veins but on the other side. It started off as just a way of forgetting everything but now it has turned into something much deeper, that even I haven't figured out yet. What I am doing is hurting my friends very badly and leaving them feeling guilty and lost. They keep saying that they will go to a teacher and tell him and two friends already have. I know I am hurting them but I honestly can't help it. I don't want my family to find out and I am scared that if my friends go to the teacher then he will tell them. I have no idea what to do. I have tried other things as an alternative to cutting but they never help like cutting does. I know that before I think about stopping for good, I need to figure out what has caused me to do this. I am usually happy, flirtacious and confident but now I am always upset. I suspect that I am doing it because of various family issues but I think that it could be something else as well as that. I honestly do not know what to do anymore.

When I was cutting my friends threatened that if I didn't tell a teacher or another adult, they would. They also threatened our friendship, which meant a lot more to me than cutting. I still cut every once in a while, the most important this is to get past denial, and admit what you do, and that it's wrong, and you've done that. Now you need to get help. If you don't want your family to find out, the number to teen talk is 1-800-650-TALK, call it, it's anonymous. Guidance concelors will call home, mine did. I anonymously e-mailed the teacher, something that said, Okay, I'm in one of your classes, but I'm too embarassed to come to you and ask for help, so I'm sending an e-mail... I'll come right out and say it, I cut my wrists, and I know it's wrong, but I was wondering if you have any advice to stop (mine was longer, b/c I'd e-mailed her before, and I was like I'm the same person that asked you about drinking...) But, if you want an e-mail address she can't track, then make one up for yahoo, they are free, and don't register w/ your real name, because sometimes it'll automatically sign your name at the end, so sign up with something like 1st name smarty last name pants... something like that. Or if you feel comfortable enough to confront a teacher, then go ahead. My teacher found out it was me that did the e-mails, and in class she told me as long as I didn't sign my name to the e-mails, she wasn't allowed to turn me in. If you need any help with trying to stop cutting, then please ask. I'm recovering from it, yet I still cut. Here's a site that should help, http://groups.msn.com/CutItOut

If that dosen't work, please let me know. It is a LOT of help!!!

My friend always cuts himself on his wrists and throat n evrything.. i always try talking to him and he say's he'll stop.. but he keeps doing it and cutting himself more. I don't know what els to do..if he has nobody to talk to he might kill himself..but what can i say that he might actually listen to!?

Tell him that if he doesn't tell somebody, then you will. Or offer to tell somebody he'll trust, and somebody he will feel comfortable talking to. Tell a teacher (I went to my favorite teacher, anonymously e-mailing her, telling her that I cut and want to stop, and asking how I might do that, she eventually found out it was me, we talk about it sometimes in class, but she even told me that the only reason she hasn't 'turned me in' is because I haven't signed my names to the e-mails. Usually if there's something where a person is considered suicidal, the teacher has to do something about it. But here's the teen talk number if you and/or your friend want to call it. 1-800-650-TALK. That should be it, if it's wrong let me know, just today my teacher gave me one of the teen talk brochure thingy's, so I'll take another look at it.

ahh i bite my nails!!! its a really bad habit! i do it when im not paying attention anyone have any tips for stopping?

There is certain nail polish you can use that tastes really nasty. You can also do that whole rubberband on your wrist thing, whenever you have an urge to bite (or when you do bite) pull, the stronger the urge, the higher you pull. My friend used to use the nailpolish stuff, you can get it anywhere, like even wal-mart. Good luck with that.

Can you get pregnant from pre-cum?

Yes you can!

i have a friend who cuts, she hasnt since the summer but today she came into shcool and told me one of my other really good friends and one of her really good friends and made us sweare we wouldnt tell anyone or shed kill us type of thing.....the whole thing is me and my friend dont know exactly how we should help her we know she wants the help but we cant figure out how to...is there anyone with any experience with this that has any sugestions that worked? were all really confsued as to how to solve this and we know that we cant force her to get help but sugest it and jsut be there for her and tlak to her but there has to be somthing more we can do

Tell her that you will give her a week to tell an adult, and if she doesn't you will. Or tell her to choose an adult she wouldn't mind knowing, and wouldn't mind being given help by, then you guys all approach that adult. I will tell you one thing, I've had 2 teachers find out about my cutting problem, one helped me, the other asked someone who she thought was my friend to talk to me, then that teacher talked to me, then she told guidance, who eventually called my parents. So make sure someone she trusts is the one that finds out. Because usually guidance councilors will call home. Talk to her about it, and find out the reasons for it. Hope I've helped, I'm really tired, it's a quarter until midnight here, I have homework, and school tomorrow, so nighty night!

This is a question to all advicenators: What makes you want to give advice to other people?

It's fun to help others, and to be appreciated for help you give. I mean think about how you would feel if you needed advice, and there was nobody there for you. Well we like to be there for you, or at least I do. I'm not crazy about stupid questions, or questions with obvious answers, but lately that's all we've been getting, so it's better than nothing. Well, it's 11:40pm here, I have homework, and I'm at school every monrning before 7am, I need me some sleep. Nighty night!

I'm going to sign my teacher up to be on what not to wear. The thing is, on the sign up sheet, you have to fill out where they live, their day time phone number and adress. Obviously I have to find out that stuff without her knowing. Does anyone have any ideas of what I should do to get this information?

Hey, I know this has nothing to do with your question, well it sort of does, but where do you sign them up. Because I've wanted to sign up a teacher for that for a long time now!!! Please laeve one in my inbox, or give me your username so I can leave on in yours!!!! Or answer in feed back or something!!!! Well, you can ask an administrator about some of the things, or, well our teacher shares personal things with us, not things like her number, but she tells us thing such as her address, and a lot of us have to been to her home. But that's because she said if we ever need anything, or a ride anywhere she'd take us, usually she stops at her home first, so a lot of people have been there. But not many teachers are like that, so somehow I doubt it for you. Talk to the administration about it, maybe the principal or vice principal can help you. Sorry I'm not of much help.

i cut myself today.... I cut bc my bestfriends mom is dying from a disease called lupis..and she cut herself reall badd bc of her mom... and her dad and step-mom treat her like crap... and now my teacher saw her arm and called DYPHS on her... and now she might get taken away and idk whut 2 do.... please help me.....

brent

DYPHS, what's that? I guess I'm stupid for not knowing? But anyways, I have 2 teachers that know about me cutting, or about how I used to (I've been cut free for a bit less than a month) One teacher has been helping me with my cutting wrist/cutting class/drinking problems, and she's been helpful. The other teacher heard me telling a friend about it, approached me in class, told people in class about it and asked them to talk to me, then called guidance on me, which called my parents. I liked how the 1st teacher did it, now that teacher is my favorite, and the second is my most hated, I've wished her hurt many times... Well, not to be rude, but 1st learn to type, and second, talk to her, and maybe find somebody you both trust to go talk to. The 1st teacher, the one that helped me, I went to her and asked for help. It's an awkward thing, but if you need help you need to get it. Here's a site for recovered self injurers... http://groups.msn.com/CutItOut/recoveredsiers.msnw And here's a site for abuse related problems... http://groups.msn.com/CutItOut/abuse.msnw You can look on the side pannel for any other categories. Hope I was of some assistance.

ok im 17 f ny anyways Every winter on wednesdays i hae ski club after school ....go snowboarding and what not and anyways i called a babysitting ad in the paper because right now I work at a hotel and can onli work weekends because of school and the hours so I wanted more money and I love kids....I love babysitting so anyways the lady called and said the babysitting job is on tues wed thurs after school for a 2 yr old boy which i think woud be super fun ...shes paying about 3 dollars and hour but ifi babysit i cant go boarding on wednesday i can still go on weekends and stuff but i dont kno what to do

Maybe she'll be all right with you babysitting Tuesday and Thursday, and she can get somebody else for Wednesday. And if that doesn't work out, do what you want to do even more, that's about all I can think of. If I think of more, and I remember, then I'll edit this.

i've been absent from school 7 1/2 days this year. ive been sick a lot and there are lots of bugs going around.plus i broke my elbow earlier. well i was absent today and the vice principal called. he said i had to go school or they'd get the county involved. he said that the max number of days you can be absent in a year is 10, but the rules state 20. it also says you cant miss more than 5. well the first grading period i was absent 5 days, so that isnt breaking any rules. should i be in trouble for this because he is clearly lying? i dont see how im breaking any of the written rules. ive heard of no such change in them either so it isnt like i missed it. what do i do?

Usually when the say absences, then mean unexcused, have you have a doctors note? If they were excused, then it shouldn't matter, but if they were unexcused, then it was most likely because you were skipping, so it has to be like that. From what you're saying I don't think you have broken any rules, but try going to school sick, just don't cough or sneeze or anything like that on anyone, and when a teacher asks you why you didn't stay home, tell them if you miss anymore school, then you _______ (whatever happens when you miss a certain amount of school) Talk to your guidance councelor, and ask him/her about the absency policy. Usually if you make up the work then it's okay, but it really all depends on where you live. Like, I live in Concord, NC... and you live, wherever you live... get it¿?

My friend and I used to cut together. I don't anymore, but she does. And she rubs it in my face, and I get really annoyed by it. I tell her to "Piss off!" but she continues to do it. I don't care if she cuts or not, but it annoys me how she takes it as a joke (it wasn't a joke to me...). And honestly, she has NOTHING to cut over! She has the happiest FUCKING like of anyone I KNOW!!! What should I tell her? What should I do to change the situation?

Well, most likely she's doing it for attention. A lot of people seem like they have a great life, but it doesn't mean they do. If you feel this way, then you 2 probably aren't the best of friends. Report her anonymously to guidance, just don't let her find out, the teacher that reported me to guidance, well I hate her now, and she hates me, and always had, so I'm still wondering why she tried to help me. You need to talk to her, and tell her if she doesn't stop then you are going to tell somebody, but let it be up to her as to who you tell, if she doesn't decide, then tell guidance. You make it seem that she's doing it for attention, but you can never be too sure. Good luck with that though.

How do you update microsoft word? Because i have 97 and i want 2000...dont tell me to search google either i tried that...thanks

Well, either it comes with the computer, or you have to find a CD-ROM at a store, and then download it. Or something like that. Usually it comes with the computer, and you have to search for it, or it's right there in front of your face, but I guess some computers don't come with it, so you'll have to buy it. Google probably didn't work, because usually you have to actually buy these things, and insert them into the computer, and download stuff. Good luck, hope I didn't sound snotty or anything.

i smoke and please don't lecture me cuz i know its really not good for my health and all .. well my friend smokes too and since we're both 14 we cant buy them, she gets into random ashtrays at supermarkets and steals used ones .. i know that CAN'T be good, ive only ever done it once but im afraid to do it again, could she like get a disease

Yes! If whoever had started to smoke that cig had an STD, or some type of mouth disease, than you can catch it. And, you can buy those things, at least cigs. Some stores will sell them to minors, but it might cost a little more. It's totally unsanitary, and if you smoke 'used' ciggerettes, then you don't really smoke them, because they are stubby, and barely anything left. A lot of my friends are stoners, heck one of my friends got really high at school today, and did some crazy dance on me backing me into a corner and he almost started stripping (lucky for me it's a really HOT guy friend, even though I'm in a relationship, I can still think other guys are hot.) But doing drugs is a stupid thing, and I know that you know that, and I've had many experiences where I've been asked to try them, but if you decide you want to quit, ask me, and I'll try to help you. Good luck with that. Sorry I wasn't much help.

I have been cutting myself for a while now. My best friend Dylan knows about it and he wants to me stop. It is very hard to stop doing because it is addicting. Dylan and I got in a big fight last friday because he found out the night before I slit the crap outts my arms. He cares about me alot but I honestly dont want him to care. He always tells me that he loves me and I tell him not too. I hate when he tells me he loves me bc he only loves me as a friend and I wish that he loved me as more. I am in love with him. He hung up on me last friday and it is monday and we havent talked since. IDK what to do. Is he gonna stick by me through these times of pain or abandon me. If I love him should I stop doing what I have been doing and try to get some help. PLZ help me!

Okay, one thing, I used to be, and everyonce in a while still am a cutter. I know what you mean when you say it's addicting, because I was so addicted, I eventually went to the only person I could trust, my second period teacher, and told her, and asked for help. And you should really stop. I mean, life or death, cuts or Dylan? What would you want. Every once in a while I still hate life, like I did a very stupid thing, I skipped my 4th period, but stayed on campus and just walked around, I got caught in the last few minutes of class, and today my teacher asked me why I did it last week, and I again did a stupid thing and lied, and now she's calling home. Well, you need to find somebody who will help you through it. And the reason Dylan hung up on you, was because he cares, and doesn't want to see a good friend, or maybe even crush, get hurt. You have to tell him that you want help, and then you have to get help. Why don't the two of you go to a teacher that you really like, and ask her if it's okay to tell him/her something, because you really need some help. And then spill. Hope you're feeling better, stop cutting, I almost really hurt myself, and some of the scars do stay. Whatever you do, don't pick the scabs, if you pick the scabs, then the scar will stay forever and ever (it might might might go away, but probably not. DON'T PICK THE SCARS!) If you need somebody to talk to, I've been through a lot, and I am still going through some of it. Fell free to leave on in my inbox, or e-mail me at maniac_munchkin@yahoo.com I'd offer you my screen name, but my aol instant messenger is down right now, so it's not working for me. Hope I was of some help. Good luck.

QUICK!! does anyone know what the two little theater masks are called?

I take theatre, and I love it, I'm pretty sure they're called the comedy/tragedy masks. Some people call the happy/sad, or funny/sad. But I'm pretty sure the correct term would be comedy/tragedy.

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