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cutting
i have a friend who cuts, she hasnt since the summer but today she came into shcool and told me one of my other really good friends and one of her really good friends and made us sweare we wouldnt tell anyone or shed kill us type of thing.....the whole thing is me and my friend dont know exactly how we should help her we know she wants the help but we cant figure out how to...is there anyone with any experience with this that has any sugestions that worked? were all really confsued as to how to solve this and we know that we cant force her to get help but sugest it and jsut be there for her and tlak to her but there has to be somthing more we can do
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Well this is a good subject i'm good at. I've dealt with 2 of my friends that were cutters and i've helped them not to cut it wasn't easy but i did it also i've been a cutter. Well there is some advice that i can give you well first of all you have to understand cutting and why they do it and you can't get mad at them because that makes them more upset. there already ashamed of themselves. Also you have to ask them if they really want to stop cutting or there just quiting because they don't want people to find out. Also you have to let her know that your there for her and instead of cutting that your there for her to talk to!!! it's ery important that part the greastest feeling for a cutter is knowing someone actually cares about you!!!!!!
and here are some thing you can tell her to do instead of cutting when she gets in the mood:
Rubberband: wear a rubber band around your wrist, you can pull it and snap it agaist you wrist as hard as you want
squeeze ice: take some ice in your hand and do it until it hurts.
draw on your wrists: if there one of those people that just enjoy seeing the blood and a little pain tell them to draw on there wrist with a red pen or mamrker or even food coloring.
wrip paper: take paper and wrip it
write in a journal: write in your journal how you feel and what really helps me is writing poetry but thats just how i am.
draw: draw a picture of the thing your mad at if your mad and stab it with a pen wrip it spit on it whatever pleases you.
from,
~!YOUR LITTLE HELPER!~
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ignore her threats and tell someone. her life is more important than anger. she'll thank you for it eventually. there's other problems than cutting that she's refusing to deal with. she needs to deal with those and the best way tends to be with someone who really knows how to deal with it like a psychologist or a school counselor.
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If she still does it, I think you should go to a counselor. I had a friend who cut, and a friend and i went to the counselor and told her. We felt awful about it, and she was mad at first, but a couple months later she told us how glad she was that we did it. And I know that I would have appreciated the gesture if someone had done it for me.. but you have to remember if you do take this advice, shes going to be mad for a while. i hope everything works out with your friend and she gets better!
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just go up to her and tell her that you don't think it is write to cut and that she should stop and if it persists you should go and tell on her not for you its just she needs the help
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Be there for her. Convince her to talk to the guidence counselor, or tell her parents so thatshe can a psychiatrist. That's basically the best thing for her.
(@$$!3
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Talk to her and tell her that you and her other friends care about her to much to see her do this type on thing to herself. You can also go to a giudence counsiler but don't give her name up. They always have good advice on situations like this. Just try to be there for her and try not to act weird around her b/c then she'll feel weird know what i mean? But just try to be there for her.
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Go to therapy!
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There really really isn't anything you can do without her permission. Support her and try the best you can to persuade her to get help. Does your school have a counciller you could go to? That's always good. If you can't get your friend to see him/her then you and your other friend could go yourselves to talk about what YOU can do. As long as you don't mention her name then you will be fine. Just let her know you are going first and check that it will be okay because my friends went behind my back when they found out I cut and I was really angry.
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just tell her that when something is pissing her off or upsetting her and she is thinking about cutting to call you or one of her other friends to talk about whats wrong. if she would go and see a shrink everything she says is confidential and can not be said to anyone about anything in no way, shape, or form. so if she truely wants help just have her tell her parent(s)/guardian(s) that she is having a little difficulty coping with everything going on in her life and that she would like to go talk to some one about everything. that would be the best way to put it to them without her having to go into details and they will most likely understand. if she is not willing to want to talk to some shrink then the other option of her getting help would be for them to put her in a psyche ward. trust me, she wont want to go there. she will not like her stay, but it will help her and she will not be able to wait to get out of there. but it will help for the best. they will be able to teach her how much pressure she can handle and how much she can build up inside of her so she can talk about it with someone she can trust with out cutting and wanting to hurt herself. they will help her to cope with things differently so she will be able to help herself in the best way possibe. so if her parents dont know then you could try telling them by simply say that she cuts and you are worried about her and think it would be best to get her some help. i know she ssaid not to tell anyone but if she wants help she will have to tell someone. good luck with her and i hope this helps.
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Take it from a cutter, don't put pressure on her. It'll only make her paranoid and nervous and, while she may stop for a while, chances are that she would start again, but much deeper than before.
What you SHOULD do is offer yourself to be there for her. Ask her to call you first whenever she wants to harm herself. Talking to anyone, whether it's always about the problem or not, helps.
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The thing is, you can't really stop her from doing it. It's a hard hard thing to overcome if you're doing it. The only thing you CAN do, is be supportive of her. Hang out with her as much as possible, and build up her self-esteem. Keep her occupied so that she doesn't have time to do thigns like that. I know you won't be able to watch her every move, but the only way she'll overcome it, is if you tell an adult who can get her some counsling, or you take the hard task on of lifting up her self-esteem on your own. If you absolutly CAN'T tell someone w/ a higher power (Just try to make sure it's not the school, they suck with this sort of thing) Then like I said, make her feel special, hang out with her as much as possible until you can tell she's calmed down w/ the situation, and support her a 100% whenever she needs ya'll. Continue being FRIENDS. That's what she needs most. She wouldn't of told you if she didn't want help from doing it. Best of luck to ya'll.
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Tell her that you will give her a week to tell an adult, and if she doesn't you will. Or tell her to choose an adult she wouldn't mind knowing, and wouldn't mind being given help by, then you guys all approach that adult. I will tell you one thing, I've had 2 teachers find out about my cutting problem, one helped me, the other asked someone who she thought was my friend to talk to me, then that teacher talked to me, then she told guidance, who eventually called my parents. So make sure someone she trusts is the one that finds out. Because usually guidance councilors will call home. Talk to her about it, and find out the reasons for it. Hope I've helped, I'm really tired, it's a quarter until midnight here, I have homework, and school tomorrow, so nighty night!
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