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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

So I’m going to a camp with school tomorrow but I just got my period (not my first one) and I have no idea what to do. For most of the time I will be in a cabin but when we go out for activities and such what will I do?!? I use tampons but I’ll have to change them so often and how will I conceal them?!? Also for one night we go hiking and sleep somewhere random. Should I use pads or tampons and how will I conceal them? I have to bring so many because I change them every 4 hours and need aproximitly 4 per day so I need 20 plus some spares. Please I’m so nervous

There is nothing to be ashamed about being on your period while on this trip. Your period is a natural bodily function for a girl your age. The odds are you will not be the only girl having her period. What you need to do is decide what is comfortable for you tampons or pads. I would suggest tampons as you can swim with them if that activity his available.

Tell your teacher or chaperone that you need a rest room every four hours to change your tampon. Once they are aware of this I’m sure they will find you a rest room to change your tampon. If you cannot bring yourself to talking about this with your teacher have mom write a note. Put the note in a sealed envelope and just hand it to the teacher or chaperon.

My boyfriend of 5 months is suggesting we should join the swingers club since we both are sexual people and we love sex. Our sex life is really good but he never suggested this before until I told him few days ago I feel like I can take 2 guys but I don’t think I can, since then he keeps asking me by tell me how would you like it, shall we join the swingers club? I think he just wants to make me happy but I don’t know. I did all NO I wouldn’t be happy with that some other girl touching you in front of me since I’m a jealous and possessive person, he said no relationship involved with the other couple, it’s just a sex. He also came in my mouth the other day since he was longing to do that for a while and he said he liked it but I didn’t since he was the first to squart in my mouth, he just likes to do whatever I’m saying and he just wants to make me happy because he’s a crazy sexual boy I reckon. So, is this a good or bad idea to join the swingers club and meet the other couple for sex or Is my boyfriend paranoid? Or is he just using me for sex? We’re in our early 30’s. Honest answers please! Thank you

Let’s start with oral sex and him cumming in your mouth. I’m somewhat surprised that someone your age has not allowe3d a partner to cum in your mouth. My wife says cum is an acquired taste. If your partner is healthy his come will be somewhat salty and may even have a taste of what he might have had in the previous meal. His cum cannot harm you as it is all protein and you cannot get pregnant for oral sex making it a great pregnancy protection.

As to your other questions the only advice I can give you is this. Whatever you and a partner do in your sex life you both must be consenting or it isn’t done. Your partner heard what I would call and off handed remark you made possible in the heat of passion or afterglow of sex. On reflection swinging is not something you want at this time. Your two are not in agreement as you are not consenting to try singing. Just tell him no.

If he continues to pester you about swinging that is sexual harassment and he just might be using your for sex. I can’t say one way or the other if he is using you or not. I suggest you sit him down and tell him that that both of you must consent to any sex act and it doesn’t happen. No means no and to continue to pester the other person after they have said no it is sexual harassment.

In any good relations ship, including a sexual relationship, the parties must be able to communicate. It is very important in a sexual relationship that both parties know the likes and dislike of the other partner. They also need to communicate openly about anything they wish to add to their sexual activities and why they wish to do so. An example of going further with your sexual activity would be his coming in your mouth. You tried it and do not like it so you need to tell him that. While the first time wasn’t what you may have expected you may want to try again to see if you can acquire a taste for his or any other partner you may be with in the future. This though is your choice not his.

Depending on how he reacts to what you tell him about what is off limits in sex between you. Then you will know if he is using you for sex.

I have recently made a decision that I feel is right, but I want to know what you all think of it. It's kind of one of those decisions where it feels like no matter what you do, it's wrong.

I have a rather toxic father who I don't have much of a relationship with. He's rude, ill tempered, intimidating, verbally abusive, selfish, thoughtless, and just downright cold. and you can't call him out on anything because he is completely delusional when it comes to his own image of himself.

Ever since he started having grandchildren, he has wanted to become closer with the family. He wants us all to spend more time together, which I suppose is pretty nice, but there's a problem. I feel bad saying this, but I don't want my children turning out anything like him. He has been a bad influence on my nephew, so I feel a need to keep my kids away from him so they won't learn any of his bad habits or behaviors. At the same time, though, I USED to feel that I had to let him around them some because it felt cruel keeping him away from them completely when he wanted so badly to have a relationship with them. However, something has happened that makes me feel that I don't want them around him at all anymore.

Last sunday was Mother's Day and it sucked thanks to my dad. My sister and nephew flew in for the weekend (I still live in my hometown BTW). Long story short, my parents got in an argument over God knows what and my dad just screamed bloody murder at my mom for a large part of our Mother's Day celebration. Now, losing his temper and screaming was on thing, but he also used absolutely filthy language, which makes me angry. I'm sure some people think I'm a total prude, but I despise foul language. It's offensive, it sounds unintelligent and lazy (you don't have or want to get a bigger vocabulary so you just use foul language to express yourself), it sounds trashy, it's a thoughtless and irresponsible thing to do in front of children as it sets a bad example, and it shows a lack of self control.

I DO NOT want my children to learn to use bad language, but my dad lacks so much self control that I don't trust him not to lose his temper and scream despicable language in front of them again. I can't count how many times he used the terms, f---, f---ing, mother f---er, god--mn, bulls--t, and other such words during his diatribe against my mom last sunday. I also can't count how very many times I've heard him call my mom a b--ch. I do not want my sons to learn to talk to women, especially their wives like that nor do I want my daughters to speak like that to their husbands. I don't any of my children to use language like that against anyone ever. It's disgusting.

Aside from the bad language, he also nearly caused a car accident by driving like an idiot because he was angry. He's done that for as long as I can remember, he gets mad and cares about absolutely nothing except venting his anger, not even the safety of his family. I can't tell you how mad this makes me. Driving like that with just me in the car is angering, doing it with my mom in the car is infuriating, but doing it with my children in the car is not something I will tolerate ever again. I am like a momma bear and my children are like my cubs. I am like a momma bear and my children are like my cubs. I am fiercely protective of them. If you put one of my cubs in danger and momma bear WILL make you sorry. I'm about to make my dad sorry by not letting him spend time with my children ever again and definitely not letting them ride in a car with him again, but I'm worried about whether or not that's the right thing to do.

It's not just the foul language and the poor driving. It's also that my dad can be a mean, hateful old man and I don't want to give him the chance to hurt my children the way he's hurt the rest of us. He's verbally abusive. He has a way of making you feel like nothing, making you ashamed of yourself and he absolutely has a way of making you feel like he cares nothing about you and you could die for all he cares. He and I have practically no relationship and I feel miserable when I'm around him.

I know he does care about getting to see my kids, but I've watched him hurt and be a bad influence on my nephew over the years and it makes me feel the need to keep him away from my kids. The momma bear instincts kick in and I feel a need to protect them from him by never letting him anywhere near them every again. They would still get to see my mom as my parents are rarely around each other and they have another gramdpa in their lives who is a wonderful man and a good influence, but I still feel guilty keeping my dad away from them. What are your thoughts on my situation?

Don't feel guilty you have every right to protect your children from danger and your father is dangerous. From what you have written your father is verbally abusive. Verbal abuse is just as hurtful as physical abuse. No one should be abused in this manner.

Now he will say something to the fact that you turned out okay and you were raised in his house. You’re not okay; I and my sister were not okay because we were raised in a home with a mentally abusive father. Both of us spent years in therapy to fix what he did to us. I started therapy because I was in an auto accident that forced med to retire early. My therapist saw something or felt I was holding something back. She kept pecking away at it until it all came out one afternoon.

Your responsibility is to protect you children from harm. If that means keeping your children from having a relationship with your father then that's what you do. You’re not alone in doing so Prince William of England does not allow his stepmother to interact with his children and the world knows this.

I do have a suggestion for you. Having gone through therapy and having dealt with what I tucked away so as not to hurt me, I suggest you find a good psychologist and deal with the hurt your father has inflicted on you. I feel much better about myself and I am a better father and husband then I was before I dealt with it.

Hey , so I'm a 21 years old who just moved out by himself and started living independently ; i used to live with my dad 3 months ago but due to excessive amounts of arguments/fights , i moved out. The issue that I'm having is that i have no friends or someone to hang out with. That's what i need the most ; i focus on work and college(skipped this semester) too much but i need time to relax and enjoy life . How do i go about making new friends ; I live in Queens,NY which is impossible to make friends. I've tried dating apps but realized they were
a waste of time. people tend to be antisocial,rude,so into themselves like i don't understand , especially here in NY. Thank you

My answer is to follow Dragonflymagics answer. I usually give the dame answer to this type of question with a suggestion of how to go about it.

Sit down with pen and paper and make a list of all the things you like to do What ever it may be such as camping , fishing, hunting, cooking or photography. Do you like the theater, reading, movies, music. Rate your interest starting with the one you like best and continue numbering each interest in order of importance and liking. Now take the top five and look in the local newspaper, the penny saver or weekly for clubs for these interests. Your local parks and recreation runs outings to different places that may go along with your interests.

When there is a common interest you have a basis for conversation. Conversations lead to friendships.

I think I have social anxiety and it’s controlling my life I haven’t been to the doctor for it because my mom doesn’t want me to be on medication. Anyways whenever I want to go to social events like parties she’ll say don’t go it’s not safe, so now I don’t like parties and feel anxious when I go to them. whenever I want to go to a concert she says “there’s drugs there, there’s gangs, it’s not safe” and when the whole terrosim things were happening she would say “they bomb public places” so I’ve never been to a concert and then when Ariana grandes concert got bombed it just sealed what she said. If I’m on campus she wants me home as soon as classes are over so I can’t even get involved on campus because club meetings meet at 6pm. My school is known for sexual assault and theft on campus, I didn’t want to go to that school but it was my mom that made me go there. Now I’m almost 20 years old and I’m tired of her thinking everything is unsafe. Now I’m scared of everything and everyone. I can’t take public transit without feeling anxious, if a guy approaches me I instantly want to run away. I know the world isn’t safe but you can’t be living in fear what do I do?

For the longest time I was afraid of dogs because when I was a toddler my mother said something to me about dogs and biting. She did this to keep safe your mother is doing that with you. Telling you things to keep you safe.

Both are mothers are wrong in making you feel unsafe in certain situations. You are 21 and your mother has no legal control of you. You can move out of her home, stay out as late as you wish and you can have a sex life as well and should have one if you want one.

Not all men are rapists. You can't and should not hide from the world. Yes there are some scary things in this world. We should not let what is happening in the world make us a prisoner locked in our homes.

My suggestion is you find a good psychologist to help you work through these things that your mother has forced upon you. You also need to cut the apron strings with your mom. You need to tell her your an adult now and have the same free will she has. Also go ahead and join the clubs on campus and make new friends. Find a guy you like and start dating him.

HI so i am 18 and i just want to try some lesbian stuff to get it out of my system and there are alot of girls that would be great candidates but i don't know if i should or not so im going to list the girls and i just want you guys to be honets with me about the girls and which one i should ask to be my one time experiment buddy.
1- she is a girl at my school and we have kissed before and almost gotten there but she always backs down so there's a huge chance she will back down again and then i will get all excited then to get my dreams shot down. I ultimately ended our whole thing with her a while ago because i was like shit im straight and didn't want to experiment for a while but now the urge is back again and i wanna do it with her because we have already been so close too it but i don't want her to switch up again and back down and then i have to find someone else, plus she is very high maintenance and needs A LOT of things some reasonable some not and it's just a huge turn off sometimes... Plus she switches what she wants sometimes she wants to get fingered sometimes she doesn't sometimes she wants scissoring sometimes she doesn't its too confusing and complicated for us to be experimenting as a one time thing
2- She is a very close family friend on my dads side and stays with my dad while her mom tries to get her life together with her its very confusing she kinda talks to me like she wants me but sometimes she doesn't. One night it was just us two and my little sisters and she laid her head on me and held my hands and i was like oh wait she might like me but i didn't think anything of it of course because she seems like this innocent girl to me but then like an hour later im laying on her rubbing her outside her leggings and i know she feels every bit of it because her head is back and her eyes are closed and i mean ya girl know the signs, anyways i was thinking that was the chance and tried to go in and i know the signs so i backed off and sat up but she pulled me back down and we kind of laid there until she fell asleep. She and I know each other pretty well but not best friend well, I just got recconnected with my dad last year and i met her when i went over there for the first time. WE have made our way to talking an getting close so i think we are kind of there, but i also don't want to cross a line and mess up Family connections and i don't know how close she is with her family so i can't trust that she wont tell but she seems to want it. She sends me "fake streak pictures" on snapchat which is basically when it seems like a streak but its specially for you and only goes to you , so she sends me those and they a little exposing and all so i kinda get a feeling from those but idk
3- she is a girl in my girl scouts troop and were sorta kinda close we joke around and call eachother boyfriend and girlfriend, i hug her all the time, touch her thighs, just subtle stuff like that and i just dont know how she feels right now because she isn't giving any definite signs. If things went wrong it could cause problems in my girl scout troop and could spread around school both things i don't need in my life, like at all so its either she goes for it which i think she might or she might not, or she doesn't and it starts a whole new drama

so yeah those are all my options i really just want to get this over with and i know with them its not going to be strings attached just over and done. Please help i just want to get this feeling over with

You have posted the same question under two different headings. In one you say your 21 and the other you say your 18. Are you 18, 21 or a younger teenager.

Age withstanding who you have sex with be it a male or female you cannot force it. Meaning it will happen if your sincere in your desire for the other person. Saying,"i just want to try some lesbian stuff to get it out of my system," lacks the sincerity needed to get the other party interest so you can seduce them.

My suggestion any of the three could be a future sex partner you just need to relax and not force the issue.

Lets start out by saying that I'm a 16 year ild female, if that helps anything. I know this could just be hormones and such since I'm a teenager, but I can't be too sure. I don't remember when this all started, but i've noticed lately that I'm feeling extremely guilty for small and insignificant things. For example, today I tried to grab a paper in Science. The teacher stopped me and said the older kids go first. Seems simple, but it's 8 hours later and I'm still feeling guilty about this. This is just one example though. It happens almost everyday, and it's starting to make me question my every action to the point where I won't do anything in fear of messing up. Should I talk to someone about this, or should I try to fix it on my own? And advice would be appreciated!

I'm not a doctor so I cannot make a diagnoses. That said it could be just hormones or it could be the start of "Teenage Depression (TP)." Doctors and psychiatrists have recently come to accept Teenage Depression as an illness. Back when your parents were your age TP was considered a phase all children go through upon entering puberty and would grow out of it.

The first thing you should do is make an appointment with your family doctor for a complete physical and screening for depression. You need the physical to rule out any organic reason for the way you feel. The screening for depressions are just questions the doctor will ask you. Be honest in your answers.
Should your doctor find you are suffering with depression find a Board Certified Psychiatrist. A Board Certified Psychiatrist is a medical Doctor who has done a fellowship in psychiatrist and past all the test to be certified by the college of psychiatrists. These are the best doctors to treat your depression.

My friend is struggling with Depression from a long period of time. She at first used to talk a little bit with us, but now at present, she is not even talking to anyone. She is not even getting out of her room. She eats very little. Sometimes, she even skips meals. Can depression lead you to commit suicide? That day, we friends went to visit her. She was at first not coming out of her room. Then we forced her to come out and sit with us. Even after repeatedly asking she didn't tell us anything. She just uttered was, she wants to Commit suicide. She said she can't live her life anymore. Can someone help her? Somebody told to consult the Voyance Direct From Martine Voyance(http://www.martine-voyance.com). Will she help my friend? Need Suggestions and Help.

Your friend should seek immediate psychiatric help. If she is actively thinking of suicide call 91. Firefighters will respond and evaluate her and keep her safe until an ambulance arrives to take her to an ER for treatment.

I'm a 34 year old woman who's kinda seeing a guy.. He refers to me as his special friend... By the way he's 53 years old... We met about six weeks ago at a grocery store, He called me the same day we met and we pretty much hit it off from there... We talked on the phone for hours we shared a strong connection... He made me happy, after nine years of being single, And just seriously thinking of getting back into the dating world, I thought I hit the jackpot...

Ok so, the first thing he did was lie to me... He initially told me he was 50 years old, and later he told me that he was actually 53 and he didn't want to tell me at first because he thought it would scare me away, I was a little annoyed because I never dated anyone that much older and I started to get use to him being 16 years older than me instead of 19 years older... I got over it, I didn't feel that it was a deal breaker... he told me also that he was dating other women, He was still friends with his exes, I didn't make a big deal about that either because it was the beginning stages..

When I come over his house, his phone rings constantly, he sometimes keeps his phone hidden, after sis weeks of talking he's never took me out on a date... We never did anything for me, all I do is go over his house watch movies, and get freaky pretty much...
He tells me all the time that he could see himself marry me, and blah blah blah... He trys to get me to change up my hair, he feels like I should buy a newer car... He's very into cars and materialistic and I'm not..
Some days he calls me all day and somedays he calls but he's still distant...
Everytime were on the phone he always claims to get a call from his mother and jump off the phone with me... And recently this past monday, he dropped a bombshell on me, he told me that he was in a relationship the whole time he's been knowing me... And he claimed he broke up with her to be with me... Yet he still call me his friend, he have not made any effort whatsoever to even pursue a relationship with me... Now he's telling me that he needs time before he jump into another relationshio because he just broke up with his girlfriend MONDAY
.. It's obvious I know... But, I have feelings for him and it's hard for me to just walk away... I know we only known each other for six weeks... I don't know if I should stay or move on with my life.. Please help

Run as fast as you can from this guy. He is a player and he will continue to be one which is most likely why he is divorced.

There are better men out there and you deserve a better man. I would suggest you consider using a dating service like Match.com. This allows you to custom order so to speak a man you are looking for. My son, who is a firefighter, found he wife using a dating service. He needed to find a women who would live with the dangers fire fighter face. It takes a unique person to kiss there spouse good-bye in the morning and not know if they will be coming home at end of shift.

To make a long story short, I found myself working as a waitress at a strip club about two months ago. I love the money I make there as it let me quickly pay off debt I owed that was holding me back from finishing my degree and I can now focus on padding my savings where as at other jobs I barely made enough to get by.

However, you're forced to drink there because customers will often buy shots for you to try and get you drunk and if you say no you don't make any money (I make money for each drink I sell) and the managers frown on it (seen as losing money). Due to this I've already gotten in one mild car accident that I was lucky enough to have not been hurt in and nobody saw it happen so I got away with what could have turned into a DUI. I'm scared to death of getting a DUI because I would get kicked out of my college program. I also run into a lot of men that force me to give them my number or else they won't buy drinks off me and a lot of people who are in general shady characters.

On top of this I started a day job this week so now I'm barely getting any sleep because I work at the club 8pm-3am (go to sleep around 4am) and wake up for my day job at 7am.

I'm currently on summer vacation so classes aren't a worry now, but in about a month I'll have to quit one job to make time for school again.

My day job is related to my major and it pays decently, but I can see how the hours will be more difficult to work classes around.
Working at the club my hours won't affect classes at all and I make really good money there, but I'm in a somewhat dangerous environment with a lot of risk.

I'm not sure what to do :(

Most places where staff may be required to drink with the customer the staffs drink is non alcoholic. The customer is charged for the alcoholic beverage at normal price .

As the bartender to water down your drinks when you order shots being purchased for you. If the bartender won't do it for you the find another club where they will.

Hi everyone, so my boyfriend and I are coming up on being together for a year. He is 27 and I am 22. He really drinks a lot, frequently. He also has a motorcycle which he does ride drunk which is an issue I have been addressing him on. If we’re not together at night, a lot of the time he goes out, either by himself or with some friends. It’s beyong frustrating to me. How do I encourage different behavior? He says he gets a low and than he makes poor decisions and he doesn’t like that he does it, he just can’t help it. What can I do? This really puts a wedge in our relationship, because I always feel like he chooses alcohol over spending time with me. I want to help him, and I don’t know how. I tell him over and over he has a drinking problem, and it doesn’t make anything better, he just says “no I don’t” or “yeah I know”. It hurts me the decisions he makes, and he’ll say “then break up with me.” I need advice on how to help him, or how to encourage different behavior, or anything that could help us as a couple. I’m not a drinker, when we go out I’ll sip on a beer or two and that’s it. I don’t enjoy drinking, and don’t see how it’s fun multiple times a week. Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated... thank you

My brother in-law is a 25 year recovering alcoholic. He tells me before an alcoholic will change they have to hit bottom. For him it was waking up in the drunk tank. Everybody's bottom is different. Dragging him to aa meetings is the same as leading a horse water but you can't make it drink.

Your boyfriend drinks, as he says, because he is feeling low. While I am not a doctor I do know that feeling low is a symptom of depression. That fact that he cycles through these feelings could me he is suffering from manic depression.

My advice is to ask him to get a full physical and to be screened for depression. If he agrees to getting a physical you make the appointment for him and tell the person making the appointment that the doctor needs to screen him for depression. Doing this assures you the doctor is at least aware of what to look for.

If the screening proves he is depressed. Find a Board Certified psychiatrist to treat him. Be your boyfriend is found to be suffering from clinical or manic depression a psychiatrist is the best medical doctor to treat him.

Hello, I’m 23/f and my boyfriend is 25. Next month is our three year anniversary so after this whole thing is done, I really would prefer to not see “just break up with him,” that may be what it comes down to but I would like to hear other options and others opinions which is why I’m coming here.

About 10 years ago, I found weed in my dad’s dresser. I know to some people, weed wouldn’t be that big of a deal but I was young and it killed me - the man I look up to, the best man I knew smoked weed. Ever since then, I haven’t been as close to him. I was always daddy’s little girl, I was with him all the time and now I just can’t respect him that much anymore. I’ve seen him lie to my mom about smoking it, I’ve watched my mom tell him she wants him to quit and he told her no he won’t, in so many situations choosing a drug over my mom every single time. He told my mom he would never get a pen, he said they’re filled with so many chemicals but just a couple weeks ago, he got one because he said it blends in better and he whips it out and does it in public all the time now, in the middle of dinner sitting at a table in a restaurant, at the beach, at concerts. This last winter, he was at a friends house and right before they were going to leave, he stayed back to smoke and told my mom he’d be out in a minute, leaving my mom to walk down this long icy driveway by herself, she fell and twisted her ankle and he was inside getting high not caring about a single thing. I’ve rode in the car with him many times to only come home and find out that he’s had paraphernalia in the car and he would just joke about it like “oh well at least we didn’t get pulled over.” I’ve watched him smoke up so much and then just sit around and do nothing while my mom and I clean the house and make dinner. My mom just told me the other day that on my brother’s very first Halloween, he smoked up and told her he couldnt go out trick or treating and left my mom to do it all on her own.

My 26 year old brother smokes as well. My father buys off of him and they do it together all the time and I think that is so wrong. We’ll be at family functions and they’ll be missing from the party and my mom would have to lie on their behalf because nobody else in the family knows that they do it.

Now, my mom, dad, brother, his girlfriend, my boyfriend and I were all away in the mountains this weekend. I first got upset with my boyfriend because we were driving out to get breakfast and my brother asked if anyone wanted a beer for the ride (mind you that my cabin is in the middle of nowhere, there are no neighbors for miles and the only police are state police but since we are right on the border, police don’t come to our side) but my boyfriend said he wanted a beer anyway and he was driving and even though we were in the middle of
nowhere, I still thought that was stupid, it felt to me like he was trying to impress my brother. I told him I’d drive to make the situation a little better and he refused, I asked many many times and he would not let me drive.

Fast forward a couple hours and I could tell he was in a bad mood. I pulled him aside to ask what was up since I forgave and forgot and even apologized for how I handled the previous situation, so I didn’t think he’d still be mad about that. He said he wants to smoke but he knows I’d be mad about it. So I got upset that weed was kind of taking precidence, he was in a bad mood because I “wouldn’t let him” smoke but if I did, he would be happy as a clam. He used to smoke very heavily in high school and quit for three years so that’s where his, I guess, desire is coming from. He brought it up before but I can’t express to him enough how much I hate it. He says I’m being biased since my dad gave me such a poor view of it and I will admit that my dad doing it is a part of it. But I also hate the smell. He’s on a no carb diet so I hate that his will power is strong enough to not eat carbs but it’s not enough to not want to smoke and when he does smoke, he eats so that diet goes to shit anyway. It’s not even like he hasn’t at all since we started dating, he went to Oregon with friends and I was fine with it then since it was legal there a while ago. He does sometimes when we have friends over or, even though it infuriates me, with my dad. We went to Jamaica and I was also fine with him doing it there. But now it’s like, he just keeps wanting more. During this argument this weekend, he told me it would be nice to be able to smoke after a bad day at work, which is honestly more times than not. So he went from wanting to do it on special occasions, to wanting to do it a little more just for fun on weekends, to wanting to do it during the week. It also really pains me when I can tell sometimes that he’s in a bad mood and he doesn’t talk to me about it. I have to drag it out of him sometimes and other times he just “doesn’t want to burden me” so he doesn’t tell me anything at all. So when he had a bad day at work, it isn’t good enough that he can come home to talk to me, he needs to smoke weed and that’ll make it all better. I’ve even noticed the times that he has done it that he gets quiet so why is it fair that he can do what he wants, as he said, to make his quality of life better, but I have to suffer? I know that relationships are compromise and I feel like I’m doing my part on that front by letting him do it on special and fun occasions but I honestly refuse to be my mom who hates it but sits back and accepts it because she knows that my dad doesn’t love and respect her enough to stop and while that’s the case, she continues to lie for him while he’s out doing it to cover for him.

I’m just the kind of person, I always have been, that believes people do not need things to escape their life or make it better. It actually really hurt me that he told me Jamaica was fun but the weed made it better, not that being there with me made it better or the memories we made together made it better. So many people would kill to go somewhere as beautiful as Jamaica, without anything to make it better or alter it in any way. I just firmly believe that if there is something wrong, you should fix it the natural way, go for a run, work out, talk to someone, not use a drug and then mask what the problem is. I need to do things i don’t like sometimes and I need to endure the same family that my dad and brother do but I don’t go out and smoke up to make it all seem better or tolerable. I will never forget when I got tickets with my parents to see a band that I’ve been obsessed with for five years prior, it was the best time of my life until I turned around to sing my dad and I’s favorite song along with the band and he was right behind me smoking a bowl Ike the show wasn’t good enough for him until he was high.

I guess I just need someone to tell me if I’m overreacting or something, I don’t know. I just need some thoughts, am I not being fair? Should I let him and be okay with it? Any advice is appreciated.

The family members and your boyfriend have the odds against them driving while high or driving while impaired (DWI) would be the legal charge if caught and they will get caught. Hopefully before the kill someone. The odds get worse if they drink alcohol while smoke weed and driving. The statistics from those states where marijuana is legal bear out that accidents and highway deaths have increased since legalization.

I can't see staying in a relationship where I'm not valued enough that my significant other would put me in harms way by choosing weed over me. You have been lucky that you have not been in an accident with him while his DWI.

My advice to you is to give your boyfriend an ultimatum that he chose between you or the weed. If you do so be ready to walkaway if he chooses the weed.

am a virgin,but my boyfriend insist on sucking and allow him and make attempt of fingering and an how felt pain when he's abt to use his hand to penetrate bt i stop him.But wat baffles me is dat i saw slightly blood the second day.Please does that mean am disvirgin?

Today's definition of virginity is that your vagina has not been penetrated by a penis. As long as a penis has not penetrate you your virginity is intact.

I know this seems like an easy question, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm anorexic or just weight conscious. I'm 4ft 10in and 75 pounds. I try to only eat once a day, but I do make sure I eat once a day. If I eat more than once a day I worry that it'll be noticeable and people will see I've gained weight, but this is because where I work the uniform shows your midriff so I don't want to look bloated. Sometimes if I feel a little bloated I'll purposely suck in or make sure I stand up straight so I look skinnier.

If I eat more than once in a day, then the next day I try hard to eat less. Lately, I've been thinking about working out so my tummy is flatter and I can weigh a little less by burning off the calories I eat. I would kind of like to get down to 60-65 pounds, maybe a little less. I feel like 50 pounds is probably a little extreme though.

I've recently seen a doctor for other things, but I noticed he didn't really mention my weight so I feel like I could still lose some weight and be okay.

I just really don't want to look overweight and I hate that when I sit down there's a little pouch.

I don't ever make myself throw up or anything like that and if I'm really hungry I do eat so I feel like I'm not anorexic.

I did not have to read far to answer your question. While I am not a doctor it is easy to see you are grossly under weight. Depending an your frame size you are 25 pounds to 45 ponds under weight for your height. This is a major part of the definition of an eating disorder and possibly anorexic.

Being so grossly underweight you are doing great harm to yourself. The type of harm that causes your internal organs to shut down; eventually leading to death. You need to see a doctor ASAP.

I recommend going to a hospital ER as soon as you read this.

Some people say that it doesn't pay much if you're working retail and that its very stressful and a lot of work. Some people say that you can make up to $20 an hour in a hospital. My job counselor told me that pharmacy tech would be a good choice but I'm getting mixed reviews.

Some Retail Pharmacy tend to employ people part-time to avoid paying insurance benefits. The money is good though the hours you work could shift from week to week.

That being said it is a skilled job that pays well. One must do well in the class and then shop around for the best offer.

I’m a 13 year old girl looking for a weight loss app specifically targeting teens or kids. I find the adult apps don’t fit my needs. The only app I could find was Kurbo but I don’t like it. I can’t figure out how to make it work effectively and find that it just makes things harder.

There is a very good reason there are few if any aps for weight loss for teens. Your thirteen years old and in the beginning stages of puberty. As a female your body is going to undergo significant changes; more so than males'.

The following URLhttp://www.healthchecksystems.com/heightweightchart.htm is a height and weight chart. Find your height and weight and see were your present weight is compared to the chart. Even if you are a few pounds heavier than the chart you do not need to diet.

Last never diet without consulting your doctor. If your doctor does want you to lose weight the doctor will put you on a proper diet to lose weight with. The doctor will also monitor your weight lose and see to it you stay healthy while dieting.

I know it's lengthy, but I'd appreciate a read.

14 year old female. I'm not exaggerating or angsting, I'm telling the truth. I'd rather go to school than stay home because I feel well liked by my peers more so than my parents. Kind of sad I feel more welcomed in a group of Highschoolers than my family, but it's reality.

My dad was recently a drug user. He would often dissapear for days and weeks with the car and all our money because he's been doing drugs, and he's left the family in debt because of this. He's gone to rehab twice and if he's done drugs since the second time, I don't know. The first time was crack and heroin, the second time pain killers and my mom acts like that's progress. All throughout my childhood I remember being screamed at and being called an asshole, jerk, brat, etc and have him get up in my face and act like he's going to hit me, bitching about stupid stuff like how I'm drinking too much water, and he does it to my two siblings and mom too, but the difference is, I believe, is that I've become unafraid of him; I no longer tremble or listen to him, and I stop him from doing other bad things. Like when he stole my money to buy drugs I told. And I'm not afraid of him, and I know I'm a better person than he'll ever be and I've got my head set on leaving this house ASAP so he really resents me for that, because I can't be controlled by him.

I don't have as much issues with my mom but I've still got some. First of all, she spends 90% of her free time doing video games. I have to say something to her 5 times before she acknowledges that I said it and the only thing she ever talks about is money and how we're gonna get it.

My family is lower class, and whenever some illegal shit is about to happen to get money I've always been the first one to say something and to stop it, so that's just a problem my family has with me in general. As strange as this sounds, I've been laughed at by adults in my family for not drinking, smoking, and sleeping around like they do and instead focusing on school and things I like doing (theatre, reading, etc.) My mom has also called me a bitch, selfish, spoiled, etc on multiple occasions and usually it's because I'm refusing to partake in activities I know are corrupt and immoral or I'm standing up to my parents corrupt and immoral actions. These actions include taking out welfare money to buy stuff they don't need like shampoo or jewelry (or worse, drugs and alcohol), shoplifting, tricking people into giving them money, etc.

The general philosophy of my family is "if it's not affecting you, don't worry" and I just can't agree with that and find it highly ironic that I'm called a selfish, spoiled bitch. I know exactly what I'm going to do; I'm going to study hard, I'll go to a college nearby where I don't need to pay for rooming and therefore have less student loans, I'll get good grades and graduate, get a good job, then I'll get out of here. I'm going to make something of myself and not only help my own life but help other people born into unfourtanate circumstances.

But then there's my other cousins and siblings; they're way more sucked into it than I am. I used to be, but I met good people and have read a lot of books and listened to a lot of musicals that made me think there's a way out, and I've made it a mission to reform myself since. The other kids in my family aren't like that, and I'm the one keeping them all out of trouble. I'm afraid that once I bounce out, they'll fall into it and I don't want that to happen. What should I do?

From what you've written life has dealt you a rotten hand. Thee is something you can do to make life easier for you and your sibling. Talk to a trusted teacher or your school principal about just what you wrote us. When a student comes to them with a problem such as your they are obligated to contact the appropriate to contact Child and Family services (CFS).

CFS will go to your home and talk with your parents and look at your home life. Among the things they look for is if you and your siblings are well fed and that there is food in the pantry and refrigerator. They look to see that your clothing is clean and serviceable. After talking with you, your siblings and you parents they will make a determination as to how best to protect you and your siblings.

The best thing you can do is to continue to well in school. You don't have to end up like your cousins and parents. A good education will take you out of what you are in and give you many of the things we all enjoy.

I'm not sure how to handle the situation. A guy was apparently talking to both of us at the same time (we're in the same social circles) and neither of us ever told the other one because it all happened over the course of two weeks. All I knew was she was seeing somebody briefly and that they had supposedly stopped talking.

Well I guess he had stopped talking to her because he was talking to me and we wound up sleeping together. Then literally the very next night my friend and I were talking and she told me she still had feelings for the guy she was talking to before and told me how they had a lot of chemistry in bed and it sounded like she was going to try and start talking to him again so as a friend I wanted to know who it was because I was excited for her and that's how I found out we both slept with the same guy.

I don't know what to do now. I think we both slept with him within the same week and he's still been trying to talk to me. I obviously lost any kind of feelings for him because I know that he knows me and her are really close and that might have been his motive because we're thought of as the best two girls in the social circles were in so he probably set out to get with both of us. However, I realize it also could have been a fluke and he started talking to me during the time they had stopped talking.

I don't know if I should say anything to her about it. I think maybe it might be better to keep my lips sealed and just quickly end things with him. I think she really likes him, but I don't have any feelings for him yet so I'd rather she was with him.

If he tells her he slept with me my plan is to just deny it because he doesn't have any proof. I don't want to lose her as a friend or have her think we slept together after she told me who he was because the dates are all so close together that she might think after I heard he was good in bed that I wanted to be with him, when that wasn't the case.

What do I do? How do I handle the situation?

First; I think your girlfriend should hear the truth from you. You start off by telling her that you know this guy and that he is a Cad and a player. You tell her that while see her he also made a play for you. He knew you two were good friends but continued to see you and sleep with you.

Second: Don't say you accidental slept with him or anyone else for that matter. You either voluntarily sleep with someone or you are raped.

I’ll be moving to another state for a while and I want to give someone else permission to use my bank card/withdraw money from my bank. Do I have to add them to my bank account?

It would be best to give that someone their own card. To do that they would need to be added to you bank account.

My older sister and I share a room. She'd been smoking for awhile and I'd been on her ass to quit since cigarettes are unhealthy and disgusting. One day our mom found one of her packs hidden in a drawer in our room. When she asked who they belonged to, I spoke up and claimed they were mine. I got grounded as a result.

I told my sister that since I was taking her punishment for her, she owed me. She told me she'd quit smoking and hasn't since.

I'm now two weeks into a month of being grounded. (Parents don't know I'm on the computer right now) My sister has been cigarette free the entire time. I know guilt tripping her like that was a little manipulative, but if it got her to stop, it's a good thing right? I know she wouldn't have quit if she'd been the one who got grounded. She just would've gotten better at hiding them.

You did the right thing. I smoked for 52 years and are now recovering form open heart Bypass surgery as a direct result of being a 2 pack a day smoker.

I suggest next time, and there will be a next time, you tell your are parents before they discover a cigarette.

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