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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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I just got spacers yesterday I've been avoiding hard food and eating stuff like mash potatoes but one of my spacers is really loose and I don't get my braces for like 4 more days what do I do they told me it's rare for them to fall out but if they do don't worry I just don't want to swallow them in my sleep and it slides a little I've been very careful is it already ready to come out tbh I just want to take all 8 of the metal things out

Call the orthodontist. tell them one of the spacers is loose and tell them your concern. They will let you know if it can wait 4 days or whether to squeeze you in to be seen at once.

finally I decided to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time but I didn't see any blood and I was worried but d second time we had sex I saw bright red blood which stained the bed and i was relieved we had sex the third time am seeing blood again,please am confused and worried

Since you didn't mention the time in between each incidence of sex, its hard to say.

If you are a teen and not having sex regularly but once a month or so, then that should have been enough time to heal. Any reoccuring blood then may indicate a problem that a Dr. can solve for you.

If as said, the incidents were days apart, you may not have healed enough and reopened a tear.
Don't think the only time you can get tears in the vagina occur only as a virgin having sex the first time.
The real issue from enough studies I've read of bleeding during sex is due to rips and tears from not being lubricated enough. That problem is usually easily solved with a water-based lubricant. If a female is turned on enough, her own natural lubricant will help in the beginning. But it can wear off with all the friction and be gone during the middle of sex. I am a female, married twice and also had plenty of boyfriends in between. And getting dry during sex happens more often than not. Older females tend to have problems with dryness however I wouldn't know if I do, my partners and I always have used lube before sex, no matter what. On the occasion my husband tries it without lube, there is too much pulling and friction and even he will feeling a pulling, tearing feeling on his cock before it actually tears. This mild to severa pain whether felt by the male or female is an indicator that lube is needed. Depending on how long a section of time each sex act is, the lube can and will wear off. Also, if a female's body is constructed so that instead of her orgasms ejaculations going straight into her bladder, come pouring out the vagina, as I do, that liquid is thinner than lube and washes all the lube away so we have to reapply if we want to continue.
I will share what my gynecologist reminded me every time I was in for a wellness checkup. "If you are ever in extreme pain that does not go away, or you have pain during sex, or you have heavy bleeding that won't stop, then you need to come in." So if you don't have any of those issues, then likely you are fine.
The only other problem where females experienced great pain and lots of blood is if they have a septate hymen. This means, instead of the hymen being a ring of extra tough but stretchy skin around the inner circumferance of the vagina, the extra skin is a strip going down the middle of the vagina leaving two smaller holes,big enough for your period fluids to pass through but not big enough to fit in a tampon or if that, not a mans penis. Depending on the size and toughness of that strip of flesh, it can easily rip and be very painful and cause much blood. Dr.s will usually remove this extra strip allowing you to go home same day. No biggie. If you had one, its likely ripped off at one end but still attached at the other. If friction from sex causes it to pain you or bleed again, you'd need to see a Dr. to have it removed properly and follow the instructions for how long to wait for it to heal before sex again.

anyway she is a female. ive always thought she was gay, she doesn't come off as straight 2 me..now I don't speak 2 anyone here...but she will make a special effort 2 make convo with me and if Im lookin at something on my comp, she'll come by me closely and just be cheesin and griinnin....and shell say what are you lookin at in this weird playful voice....or she'll peek around the corner while im at my desk and say hi....she is always extra happy 2 be around me....I think she is gay and has a crush on me...ive been hit on women before and ive been threatened by them too cuz I don't deal with chics....this woman's happiness is over extended around me, she loves standing near me, but she'll stay apart from the other chics at my job...and she isn't playful with my other coworkers....while ive been hit on and bluntly approached by women, I am not gay by any means....is there a way I can stop this...should I say something, just leave it alone and accept the fact that women find me attractive and there's nothing I can do about it but accept it....? thanks for any advice

I can relate to people going out of their way to make convo with me. This however used to be during school days, namely grade school through HS, when I had terrible social anxiety.(which I no longer have) I was too scared to approach others so those who approached me, became friends. I always wondered what drove them to 'persist' coming after me when I did not do much to reciprocate but I am glad they did. If you prefer being a loner and do not want to talk to 'anyone' at all, then you'd have to let her know that you are pretty much a loner and do not like being social with others. If there is any policy about general chit chating with other employees being forbidden due to disrupting work effeciency, then you might want to remind her if she's attempting to talk to you while you are working.

Hmm, as to having thought perhaps she is gay and now not sure, I have just one idea, and not sure how it fits in for you. I am female but as long as I can remember, I have enjoyed talking with men more than females. I never was the eye lid batting, gushing, giggly, showing off my assets type of girl around guys. I was more down to earth, and logical as a guy. Maybe it seems a bit 'male' like to see in a female but I can assure you, I am definitely all female when it comes to gender and sexual orientation. My 2nd husband is a man who other than a best friend who was male, is attracted to talking with females and he has an equal interest in some things that women are like jewelry which to him are eye candy. NO he won't wear such stuff but it attracts his artistic eye and yet he is all man. Perhaps for some people, who don't know the other, such a trait may come off initially as us being gay. I was had a female outright approach me at a club (non gay club) and ask me if I was gay and state she was. So that is how I come to this conclusion. Perhaps this gal you speak of, since she doesn't hang with other chic's is more interested in befriending males. This would mean as coworker friends whom you only see at work, co workers who become close friends and hang out occasionally outside of work or making male friends of neighbors or old school friends or other places one meets and makes friends.
It's more likely she relates better in conversation to men than women. And she finds you interesting. Do you see her talking to other male co workers more often than females? That would confirm this theory. If she talks to no males or females, and only you...then something is up and she is waiting for a positive response from you to date her. If you are not interested and this is whats going on, you could say, 'You know, I have noticed how you pay lots of attention to me compared to never seeing you speak to the females around here and never approaching any of the other men. Why is this?" Ir would be more awkward to ask if she's hitting on you when it turns out she isn't and just has some not so normal social issue like aspergers or something similar. People like that can latch onto one person and be constantly asking questions and not take the hint that they are disturbing you. My husband and I use internet mostly at Starbucks locations and we have had plenty of strangers approach us and not leave us alone, trying to force their supposed friendship on us, calling us friends even though we have not responded back to them. Perhaps she is one of those. That would be my other theory. Clue: People like that don't last long in any jobs. No one from the floor up to execs, like a person like that in work, too disruptive. My ex was recently diagnosed as aspergers. I believe theres' more to it than that as I got along well in HS with a girl who had aspergers. I would not have left him for just that. But thats another story. I do know that even tho I am remarried but have contact with him due to shared children, he has never been able to hold onto a job long term, from the day we married, til current day....same story. He actually overheard some people at a temp job talking bad about him once and told me. I am not surprised. These are theorys and don't in themselves help you. But if you do not want to be bothered with a friend wannna be, then let her know in a nice tone of voice again putting in that you are a loner whether you are or not, that way you are in a way saying the reason is you not her even if it is her...you hurt less feelings this way.

I'm a person who avoids conflict and I hate rude people because when they're rude to me I end up crying and thinking about it the whole day. Today a customer came up to me and asked how much a product was but in order to answer that I asked him which product because there was 3 different ones of the same one. Then he said did you hear what I said? I said no because I didn't want to explain why I asked which product cause I'm not much of a talker then he went on and said "in school do you listen to your teacher?" And I said yes then he said well then if you can't hear somebody you'll tell them to speak up I said "ok" so I selected a random product for him and told him the price then he said "I don't want that one I want the regular one" okay wtf then you should've answered that when I asked (of course I didn't say that) I said okay I told him the price of the regular one but as I was saying it he added somethings else but the only thing I could think of was him insulting me so then I asked him to clarify what he meant. Then he rolled his eyes and said see you're not listening again I said I wanted this and that. So then I said okay, I gave him his order and then he asked me if English was my first language I said yes. And he said "wow" and walked away. That completely ruined my day and I ended up crying and had a panic attack I also had to leave work early cause that's all I could think of. How do I deal with rude customers and not take it personally? Or what's a way to be polite but rude at the same time so that the customer can't report me to the manager. I'm 18 btw with social anxiety (it's gotten better but as you can see I can't handle conflict I don't know how I'd deal if it was more than one customer today)

Oh hon, so sorry to hear how thats affected you. I answered a previous question of yours on starting as cashier at a fast food place.

I got this stuff all the time. If it wasn't me at the register at the moment, then it was someone else treated like crap by a customer. During my shift, it was at least one, whether directed at me or not.

I had the same problem. People would ask for something but not specify which one. They have the problem with listening and being clear in their communication and usually are impatient people. These are likely the types who also have daily road rage events, and snap at people where ever they go. They are the ones with the problem, anger issues, or believing that they are perfect and everyone else is the problem in his world, from the highest official down to the lowliest worker. These are people who will never be kind to anyone. They like to bully people verbally and enjoy getting away with it. Or they may never have learned social skills or have mental illness. the list goes on that shows how the problems lie with the customer and its not you.
I was taught to be nice but also helpful and never to tell a customer they are wrong or put them in their place. The saying 'The customer is always right' is not literally true. The customer hardly ever really knows what they are talking about. Its just a 'facetious' saying that really means, don't piss off the customer so we don't lose a sale.

Unfortunately hon, some of the customers have such a hairline trigger that it can take very little to piss them off, like having to wait in line to order, longer than they thought they should have. I have had people ask me for things that were not on the menu. OUr place didn't serve breakfast all day but they would come in and try to order order breakfast items which I explained we served only til 10:30. They would already look angry because now they felt foolish for asking and my telling them what I was trained to say, in their eyes made them look stupid. So I'd get some who would say, "I'm a customer, why can't I have what I want, no matter what time of day?" or "I was in here recently and got breakfast items during the day." to which I'd say, I have been working here for (mention number of months) and breakfast has never been served past 10:30 AM since I have been here. Is it possible you are thinking of McDonalds? I know McDonalds in this area serves breakfast all day."

When a customer asked for something our restaurant could not or would not do, I'd ask if he'd like to talk to the manager. They usually do. Then they'd get the same story from the manager, yell at her/him and say I am never coming back here ever again or call us of us crude names.

This is part of the job. I suggest that as soon as a difficult customer has left the counter, and as soon as there are no more customers waiting to order, that you talk to the boss and give them the scenerio if they didn't witness it for themselves and ask them how to handle that particular situation as it will come up again.

I tried to use the tactic of educating the customer. Some times, there were current advertised specials a customer didn't need coupons for and they were ordering basically the same in a more expensive configuration. I would explain, "Were you aware that meal is on special now. So if you order all the items by their selves, it will be more expensive. Customers love to get the cheapest deal. No one ever got upset when I didn't just blindly take that order but tried to be helpful. Its only the ones who are 'assholes', sorry but there isn't a nicer way to describe them, who occasionally make the job unpleasant. I also know we had some shift managers who had problems with dealing with unusually mean customers. They'd smile and calmly restate the rules and policies while the customer raged at them too. The workers there all know that some customers are going to be nasty and never willing for a win-win situation.

So as to asking for a sandwich or meal without specifying, you did right to ask which one. Your mistake which was small and I understand due to social anxiety was when he said did you hear what I said? You said no because you didn't want to explain why you asked which product. Then he asked a personal example question which you did not have to answer and he should not have asked but you answered that yes your listen to your teachers which gave him the fuel for putting you down then, saying that you are inattentive.
I had an ex husband like that. He knew something was wrong with him but didn't want to admit it, so he went through life always pointing the finger at me as a way to get peoples attention off of him. This is a defense mechanism some of the really mean, and disturbed people use a lot and any Psychologist could tell you that. This is what the customer was doing to you.

Next time, when asked Rhetorical Questions which mean (questions asked in order to produce an effect or to make a statement rather than to elicit information about the food in your store) ignore and don't answer them, no matter how many times he asks or how angry he gets that you are not answering his rhetorical questions. Believe me, a mad customer is loud enough for others to hear and know that you are not the problem but he is. Don't let a person lead you off course of the information he needs but for some reason doesn't seem willing to listen to. Smile and say, Sir, we carry many meals that fall under that description. I will need you to be more specific so I can know what you want." I don't care how he rants and raves at that which is likely. If there are customers waiting in line behind him, you may have to speak loud but calmly over him if he doesn't comply and state, "Sir, there are other customers waiting. I'd like to help take you order now, but in order to do that, I need you to answer my questions. (Make sure your beam your most winning smile at him) If he persists, then ask "Shall I get the manager for you?" Some will say yes, some will quiet and finally comply and some won't answer but keep being nasty. Its at this point you make the decision for him and go fetch your manager and quietly give a quick version of whats going on, don't let customer hear if possible. The manager can then tell him the same thing and he can either comply or walk out. Usually at this point, most mean customers will see that no one is going to crumble under their bullying and give up and just order, or walk out.
Do your best hon. I will say that sometime, the location of the fast food place may be the issue, low income area or on very busy street with lots of street people. They actually aren't nasty unless they are drug addicts and still thats seldom with drug addicts, they are mostly looking for free food handouts which is not part of the store policy. They know it too cus they'll ask plenty of times and target the new employee whom they think just might break a rule and give them something for free, whether just a container of sauce, creamer, fries or some food that was too old and is in the garbage. It can't be sold for health reasons and thats also why they can't get it for free. NOt because the store is into making a profit and not giving away to help the poor. That is something you never do, no matter how sorry you feel for someone. A guy once walked in asking me for a few free fries for his dog which he had with me. I told him, wish I could but its against policy and I won't lose my job over it. We have camera's everywhere and it would certainly show that I gave something away that wasn't paid for. If you are determined to make this job work, how about you get back to me with any special situations after the fact to learn how it might have been handled differently. Its best to ask your manager that but if they are too busy at the time or you forget, you can always ask me. Whatever advice I give, it would be best to check if its still within your particular stores policy.

PS. Don't worry about what the next customer is thinking of you when you were yelled at and chewed out by the nasty one. I had plenty who looked uncomfortable with how someone treated me and told me I did well in handling the previous person and I was polite and in the right and it was just that last customer who was the idiot. You will get that sometimes too. People who pay you supportive compliments right after a nasty customer which lessens the blow a bit, knowing there are many more who are nice.

is it possible for a person to loose her virginty because of finger fucking? After the fingering when you go to the doctor to test for virginty is there a chance you wont be one

There is nothing better than props for an illustration of what the hymen is and isn't. I love the short informative you tube videos of Laci Green who does sex ed and relationships in her v-blog.
Here's one I believe will be enlightening for you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qFojO8WkpA

The hymen is stretchy like a rubber band and will over time stretch to allow your finger, a tampon, a dildo or a male penis. There is no way for any person, even a Dr. therefore, to know whether you masturbated or had sex with a guy.

In some countries of the world, men still expect their wife to bleed on their wedding night and the fact is, even if she's a virgin, meaning no man has ever been inside her, she still may not bleed causing him to believe she's had sex before and thus be angry with her. If that is the situation here, there are companies that sell fake hymens you insert that are filled with a blood like substance that will show when he enters and the item rips. I only mention that since you used the phrase 'test for virginity'. There is no such test anywhere in the world. However some misguided males still believe a show of blood proves virginity and that is a bunch of hogwash.

I'm going on a 6 hour car ride with my boyfriends mom alone. We don't really know eachother really well and weve had lunch together twice and we text on and off small talk a few times a week. I'm stressing over what we will talk about or how it will go. I just need advice on topics or what to do for anyone who has had this experience. I've never had this experience before and I'm nervous cause I'm shy when I'm not comfortable or used to someone. And she knows I'm shy as well. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thankyou

I don't understand what could be the need for a 6 hour road-trip with b/f's Mom. But if you are not comfortable with sitting together in silence, then here's an easy out. People tend to believe that a person is a terrific conversationalist if they ask you to talk about yourself and actually listen to you talk. And none of that involves you doing much talking, just asking new questions every once in a while, even if you don't really care to hear the answers. You can pretend good, right?

So all you really need is questions to ask. Start with the link between her and you...the boyfriend/her son. So, Ask her to tell some stories about b/f when he was little, that she as mom loves. They will differ from anything he's told you of childhood.

You could ask how she met his father. Did she go to college and what did she study. If not, what was HS like for her, was she involved in anything.

What was her childhood like or favorite memories of it. How many different states, or if not the US, how many different areas of the country has she ever visited. Does she have a dream of visiting any particular country.
Ask if she has any hobbies, her favorite foods, colors, etc.
If she talks and then asks you the same question in return, you don't have to go into detail like she may have, just give a basic short answer and then ask her another question. That makes it easier on you. Enjoy the trip.

Hello,
Been mates for a year. I know that he fancies me and I fancy him which is I can tell is not right at the moment because of having a significant others in ours lives as he's got a girlfriend and a kid with her and I have a boyfriend. But I can tell he's not that happy because he hardly talks about her in case if I ask about her and I'm also not entirely happy with my relationship at the moment. His jokes to me it looks more like a flirting but he insists it's a banter, we have a good banter because we're good friends he states yet it still seems like a flirt to me. We both are in our mid 20's. He hardly asks about my bf and barely mention his gf. But me, i tend to mention my bf at least once or twice in front of him. Today I rang him because I hadn't seen him for a few days, just talked for a few minutes but I was the one to make a call first, he said he was crazy busy which is understanding coz I know his work. My question is, do guys hide their feelings no matter how much they like the girl and miss the girl? We're good mates and he's giving me signs but wouldn't text or ring me unless I ring or text him first. Also, why wouldn't he mention his gf often? Is it because he's feeling something for me? Could that be possible? I feel like I'm starting to fall for him. I don't know if it's just an infatuation. I just feel like I want to give him a kiss on the cheek or hug him when I see him (he's given me peck on the cheek few times already). I like him and we get on just great. Guys, is it really bad to fall for each other when we have significant others?? I feel like he misses me terribly but pretends he don't, wouldn't tell me. Is he hiding his feelings?? Do guys hide their feelings when they fancy the girl? Any suggestions guys? I'm sorry for the long message. Thanks ever so much.

I know you want to know about hidden feelings. I have known enough males from brother, father to other male relatives and male partners to know that how or whether they show any emotions, especially love all depends on their personality and how they were raised. Okay, just fancying someone isn't the same as love but it leads there. I do not know this guys personality or background so I couldn't tell you. However you've been friends for a year. It wouldn't hurt to have a heart to heart talk with him. Your womans intuition is telling you that somethings going on in him that has nothing to do with just caring about a friend. Yes, sometimes people flirt just for fun but that alone isn't a good sign someone is into you.

Here's what I have curiousity about, both you and he being in relationships you're unhappy about.
Yes it's possible to find someone more wonderful, especially when a person is in a bad relationship. The bad relationship is up for you to decide whether it is such or not. I;m talking about two people who've lost interest in each other, have no chemistry other than the initial excitement at first meet which wore off in a handful of months or less, one who isn't faithful to the other, one neglects the other, doesn't value the other, puts the other down and or yells and fights often.

I don't mention marriage counseling since yours is not a marriage. It is the least likely thing to happen, dating couples seeking out the equivalent of a marriage counselor to see if the relationship is savable. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
However, when only dating, even if some kind of commitment was made, it could have been made believing you found the best man you will ever find. That is, until a better one truly comes along. If either of you are not happy in current relationships, what then is keeping you with the one you no longer care for, and don't say it's because you care a little about him? Heck, I can care about good neighbor friends but I sure am not in a dating relationship with every nice man I meet. Nice doesn't equal perfect partner for you.

It takes a lot more to have a healthy relationship. Could you say you were willing to die trying to protect your boyfriend if he was attacked? Most wouldn't know til such an event happened but if you can not even imagine putting your own life at risk trying to save the life of a loved one, chances are, they are not really loved by you as you may believe is so. Its much the same fierce love a mother would have trying to protect her children she loves.
I am guessing that having a place to live is what is keeping one or both of you with your respective partners. there is no law that says he has to live with the mother of his child. He can still pay child support and be in a new relationship. So the child doesn't count as an excuse.
Why stay and be miserable? It may turn out that even if you got to know your male friend better, that even he might not be right for you. I had to meet and date quite a few of the wrong people before I ever found my 2nd husband. The good ones are harder to find than the wrong ones. The wrong guys are a penny a dozen, so easy to get but so miserable to stay in relationship with. My 1st husband was a mistake that used up 30 years of my life. I should have left much sooner but I wasn't brave enough. I hope you can be brave enough to leave and brave enough to remain single until you find one you think promising. He may or may not be. But its in the dating or hanging out with often that you will learn enough to realize whether any guy you're attracted to not only truly returns your love but is the perfect partner.
I don't believe guys will kiss another female, even on the cheek is they are happy with a partner. Its too dangerous and could lead to more feelings and eventually losing control one day and going all the way to making love. Even if a guy was single, he wouldn't kiss a girl who has a bf or husband or do whatever he does to leave signs that he is interested in her as more than a friend. Guys know how easily a female can mistake anything as an encouraging sign from him to proceed with a relationship between the two of them. So why entice a girl if he doesn't mean it. I know most males to freak out if a girl is heart broken or crying. It short circuits their brain and they panic, not knowing what to do. So they would rather avoid any action that could put him in that situation so to avoid being stuck in that awkward spot. A big one is breaking up with a girl. Even if unhappy, a guy is more afraid of telling her he wants to leave her and will stay and be unhappy. But it doesn't mean his need for having a female friend-confidant-lover combo has been taken care of. So there is a slight chance this is what your male friend is facing right now. I don't know how many males there are who would stay in an unhappy relationship and play around on the side or at least wish too. It may be he is using you to fulfill a need for the friendship side of a healthy man and woman relationship. But there are sexual needs too. If unhappy with both in a current partner, a man or woman will seek someone on the side. If its just unhappy with the sex side, they love their partner as their friend, then they would not want to leave their gf/wife, just get the sex only on the side. I ran into a couple guys like this. Or if they have great sex, but she's not treating him well otherwise, he will seek just friendship with love, with a female he is attracted to, elsewhere. You need to know where he stands. If he is too chicken to tell you the truth as his friend, then there is no hope of anything happening between the two of you. Plus you need to talk if both of you would lose a place to live by leaving your current partners. If its the only things holding both of you back from ending unhappy relationships, then you both need to both your heads together and work this out together. People who can not do that, will not do well in a committed relationship long term or life long. I hope it all works out well for you.

Literally every single cycle, on at least one night, my period leaks in my bed. I have tried everything I can think of to prevent it besides wearing a tampon to bed (which I know is a bad idea and also I just don't like tampons very much).

The issue is that I'm a bit of a restless sleeper, and I end up on my back, side, and front throughout the night. I can't do anything to keep myself in one position, and if I do, it usually ends up in me not really sleeping.

I usually use a night pad (the longest kind I can find) and then put a second pad up the back of my underwear because I do spend a good portion of the night on my back, so that helps prevent leaks that way.

However, I often end up leaking in the front or out the side, and sometimes even at the back beside the second pad.

How am I supposed to keep my bed clean? It's not such a big deal when I'm at home, but during the year when I'm living at school, it's a bit of a hassle to have to get the stains out every month. I can't think of anything that would help other than putting a third pad in to protect the front, but that just seems wasteful and would only solve one of my issues...

When I still had my period, I did the double pads lengthwise and still had to hassle with stained sheets and mattresses. I was going to suggest the bed pads that hospitals use. But I know some pharmacies carry them too. THey can be found in same aisle as feminine care, adult incontinence diapers. I do know that the top part absorbs fine but the plastic bottom of these pads will slide all over the sheet, moving out of place since you move a lot in your sleep. So as suggested, I'd purchase the largest one and put it under the sheet in the area it needs to be. If you run into a pinch and can't buy more when you need them, I would take two towels and lay them double covering the area under your bottom. Towels can absorb a lot of moisture without sliding around. I know Towels work because of women who squirt (ejaculate during sex, tho not all can) and the liquid is thin like water and can leave wet spots the size of the palm of your hand or even larger, depends how many orgasms. So towels if double do absorb anything that leaks from periods and are easily thrown into the wash the next day. However, you may want quite a few towels if you decide to do this as your first choice.

28 female

I rent even know where to begin I guess I will start from the very beginning. My parents got divorced when I was 3 so I only got supervised visits with my dad every other weekend and then my dad died when I was 12 ,so I barely remember him. Well the other day I got a message from a man on facebook that said that he was my dad's cousin, until then I didn't even know that my dad had cousins. I thought the only family he had was my aunt and uncle which is his brother and sister. He said that he wants to come see me in October, but I don't even know this man that claims he is family. I don't know whether I should meet him or not. I talked to my mom and she said she didn't know if he was family or not, but my aunt says he was my dad's cousin. What should i do ?

As long as your aunt has verified that he is indeed a relative, then i see no reason why not to meet. However, distant relative that he is, its possible no one really knows anything of who he is in character and personality. He could be a Godly Christian man. He may be the total opposite. So even if your Mom is okay with you meeting him, I would not do so alone like if he arrives and says he wants to take you out for ice cream, just you and him....I would not go alone with him.
If for any reason you are not curious and do not want to meet in October, then give him an alternative, if he is just curious himself, and perhaps he can come for holidays or some family get together either at your Aunt and uncles place or at your Mom's. Once you can be sure he is an honorable trustworthy man and if you want him to be a part of your life, then future meet ups are up to you.

Im the kind of girl that wears band shirts and shorts or skinnies. my boyfriend loves it. He likes a little bit of makeup which is what i usually do and a few times he has asked me to do a full face of makeup just cause hes curious how it looks. he gave me his favorite band shirt cause he loves when i wear it. he loves my style and everything about me. whether i have makeup or no makeup. whether im wearing a loose band t or dressed up a little nicer. he is out of state at the moment and im going to visit him soon. i am so lost on what i should wear. i haven't seen him in over a month and i want to look nice but i want to be the same that he loves that i am. so my question is should i wear a nice summer dress, his favorite band shirt and some ripped jeans or just normal casual shorts and shirt? and should i do a full face of makeup or just my usual stuff. i want to see him casual and comfy how he loves and knows me but i want to dress up a little too. so im really stressing over what to wear. and i know if i wear his favorite band t that he gave me it would make him happy. but i also don't want to wear something he always sees/saw me in. and i was thinking about a full face of makeup because he was always so curious about how it looks. but i can just do my usual minimum makeup that i know he already loves cause he doesn't really care for a lot of makeup. i know this isn't something super huge that someone should be stressing about but i haven't seen him in a while and im so excited and i just want to look nice but i want him to see me and and think "yes, damn that's my girl!" im not sure if any of this actually makes sense to anyone, but if it does your advice would be greatly appreciated. i have a little over a week to figure all of this out.

You have a valid concern, wanting to look your best for him. However you are overthinking this and making it way harder on yourself than it should be.
You know he already likes the way you dress. I am a female too and I know how even I often want something new to wear for anything in life I think of as momentous. So I would suggest that all you do is dress in the same style you always do, just perhaps a new tee or skirt if you can afford it. Better yet, ask some of your friends who dress similar and are same size if you can borrow a piece of clothing from them and tell them what you want it for. They'll be excited for you and get into it and want to loan you something he hasn't seen you in yet. Don't worry about makeup. If you decide you'd rather wear a sundress since its summer and if its hot, then a sundress is fine too.

The doctor called me with results yesterday. They won't be able to talk to me about it until next Friday. She said I have diabetes. My mom said I can get rid of it if I eat right and exercise. Is this true or will I have it forever?

Yes You can get rid of it. I know several people who did. What's hard is staying on a strict diet of avoiding sugar. Not everything is easy to figure out like pastries and candy. There are other foods that can turn into sugar too.
I will say now what I learned from being a caregiver of someone who among other things, had diabetes. When she found out, she started drinking and eating anything that said 'sugar free' on it. The problem is that sugar free isn't really free of sugar. It has artificial sweeteners.
These sweeteners, other than cane sugar will still affect a diabetics blood sugar. The only thing they are supposed to help is with a person trying to lose weight. It doesn't help as an alternative for diabetics....no matter what doctors and dieticians or nutritionists will tell you. They are only sharing what they were taught in medical school. How can they be wrong? The medical community other than natural health practitioners, are not taught about preventative medicine, prevention with something other than pharmaceutical drugs. If you don't believe me, its easy to test. Drink all the diet soda or diet cookies you want and check your blood sugar. That will tell the truth. If you are prescribed any medicine or told you need to start using insulin, do so for now and keep taking your blood sugar and eating right. Eventually in checkups, your Dr. will know if you no longer need insulin.

Define DHT?

Here you go, a link to article explaining DHT

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/68082.php

I'm 20 years old and I've been engaged to the perfect man for almost six months now.

I'm extremely mentally ill, but I'm in the process of trying to recover. (I'm deeply serious in this process and journey.)

My fiance's dream wife is a full-time housewife. And that's actually what I'd love to be as I am obsessed with cleaning and cooking and making his life stress-free and overflowing in joy.

But I just don't feel like a "real woman."

What are ***ALL*** the qualities of a REAL woman? Like her personality and what she does.

I'm really... dumb, sadly. So also, what's an easy way to learn how to pay the bills, like organize and pay them properly?

Please tell me ALL you know about becoming a REAL woman!!! Thank you!

The easier question is tricks to paying bills on time and organizing. How about a big wall calendar with squares big enough to write in. Most bills are monthly ones. Then you have things like the car insurance which is due once or twice a year. As long as theres enough money to cover all bills easy, then its a matter of just reminding yourself. Also get an accordian style folder with pockets for organizing. Put names on tabs and keep unpaid bills waiting in one and have another for saving bills paid if there's paper work and write down the date paid on them and check number if you use checks. Most people pay on line. You can either have bill pay set up or like myself, I go in and pay monthly on my own via the internet.
Get different colors felt pens. Designate one color for each monthly bill. For example, if my cell phone bill is due on the 25th, and I have designated baby blue as the color for cell bill, a solid blue box is the day the bill is due. The day I want to mail in payment would be earlier, like a week ahead to allow for it to be recieved in time and that day counted back I might color just a corner blue and write "pay cell bill". Its just a matter of coming up with a system that you like and this one is easy enough but you have to remember to look at the calendar every day and not let yourself be distracted when you discover its a day to pay a certain bill, just do it then.

As for How to be a Real Woman? There isn't one standard that is easy to teach a person because there are too many variables.
Heres an example: Women generally have a nurturing trait. But just because a lot of women are like that, does not mean all women fit in the same box. There are exceptions to every rule. I have 3 daughters. I have that nurturing instinct strong in me. I see it in 2 daughters but one does not have that, no matter how hard she tried with her child. It just wasn't part of her characteristics or her personality. Maybe someone could try to fake it, but when a person forces themselves to act a certain way that deep inside they know they are not, they become unhappy, stressed, etc. A good example would be a woman who is a lesbian but believes that makes her less of a woman so she pretends to be heterosexual.
All you can be is yourself. So its a matter of discovering more about who you are and being proud of that.
There isn't anything I could find on the internet that really lists character qualities of a woman, female or 'real woman' as you put it. It only covers outside looks and how women are tricked into believing what media portrays as the real woman in looks. Theres plenty of that crap on the internet. But you shouldn't be defined by your looks anymore than a book should be judged by it's cover.
I do have an idea that you might like. I did this when evaluating who I really was on the inside, my talents, strengths and weaknesses when I put up a dating profile on line. This needs as much truth about you as a resume when applying for a job. None of what you put down can be wrong but may be the wrong fit for the guy. You already have a guy and it would seem he has chosen you as you currently are and unless you've told me otherwise, he probably is not telling you that something you do isn't good enough or that he wants you to change. My first husband wanted me to change into a completely different person cus we both married the wrong person. Don't ever try to change. If the man is quiet and the lady is outgoing, boisterous...then just you making conversation could irritate him. Its not that he's wrong for not being more outgoing or you're not feminine enough because you are too boisterous. Second husband for me is so much like me, we are both chatty and never tire of hearing from each other.

So start a list of what all your qualities are. Ask Parents, best friend, your fiancee and ask yourself. Women come in all shapes and sizes so don't even go there. The style you also are most comfortable in is best for you. Don't feel you have to dress like you just came home from the office in a womans suit and heels to be a woman. HOw you look and what you wear and how you do your hair or makeup or not are all personal choices...these are also things that an employer can not rule you out for. If there is a dress code at work that you would hate to dress like, then don't go for that job!
It is hard to describe myself and I know its going to be hard for anyone, even you. But a good place to start is asking others. As for yourself, what is it that drives you, holds your attention longest, the things you most like talking about and doing,the things where time flys by so fast when you are enjoying and doing them, and these will be your passions. What a person is passionate about will likely be what brings on all your interests. I for example am creative and nurturing. Creativity comes out in art projects, sewing, jewelry making, homemade Halloween costumes for kids, in meals, in my garden, in writing, singing, etc.. (These are my examples to give you a clue) Then the nurturing which is the care and support of and encouraging the growth, development of any person or thing, is part of who I am. It comes out naturally in the home, raising of children but also for me in keeping up a garden, planting seeds and new purchased plants, weeding, watering, everything tending a garden is part of. And lastly, my nurturing nature comes out here in the advice column. I want to help others the same as my own kids with advice to help support and guide them to making the best decisions on their own.
Once you know what your strengths and talents are and you remain true to them, allowing them to flow through you, doing things that make use of your strengths and talents, you will be a real person, a real woman. Being Real, means being genuine, not hiding behind a fake persona, just being yourself.

23/female
So we've been best friends since the first day of kindergarten, and even through my family moving 2 hours away, my best friend and I have remained close. 6 months ago, I got a call from her rejoicing, she just got engaged to her boyfriend of 2 years! And I'm the maid of honor! I should be thrilled but from the moment I heard the news, my stomach has been turning. I dont... HATE her fiance? But I majorly dislike him, and I think the timing for her to be getting married is just awful. She just graduated with a bachelor's in cinema, and is devastated at how hard it is to find a steady job in her field, and regrets her decision. She is also very depressed with her weight, her state of mind right now is just not equipped to handle such a major life event.
She has tried to arrange a get together so I could officially meet him, but we gave up since he insists his "social anxiey" makes him too nervous to meet new people (even though he meet her other friends just fine). So I've met him in passing, like me picking her up and us small talking while she finishes getting ready. Fine, but no joke, every single time I see him, they have a fight in front of me. Every time. And it's for silly reasons, like he was being a prude at the party, or he didn't want to drive 2 mins to deliver something she forgot, etc. One time, they had an enormous screaming fight in their room while I was over because he doesn't like when she has friends over. So I can't come to their apartment, and she can't have friends over anymore because it causes drama...
He's 2 years older than her but he's so immature it drives me crazy. There are so many red flags on him, but I have to start working on the maid of honor speech and plan a party, and I cant. I keep putting it all off because it makes me sad to think about. I'm going nuts because the wedding is in 2 months and I'm against it. I've talked to my boyfriend of 4 years and my mom about it, and they don't know what I should do. I so badly want to be happy for her, but I hate this wedding. What do I do? Thanks in advance for any advice.

As her BFF, I can understand the big concerns you have for her that this fiancee may be a big mistake. I see red flags too, especially him fighting and not wanting her to see any of her friends. If its only not wanting friends over at the apartment, then have her come to your place or meet at a neutral place away from him. But if he is trying to cut her off from all family and friends and support, then it's not him being protective, but possessive and thats not a good trait at all and can lead to much worse conditions as time goes on. I married at 20 to a man who was quite messed up mentally though even my family couldn't see it at the time. Once married, he changed his tune and treated me like crap. I still stayed until the kids were grown before I left. What I am saying with sharing my story is that I made my own decisions, and later when his behavior of me worried my family, they told me to leave him and I would not listen. I had a lot of growing up to do yet and make that decision for myself. It is the way it is for all woman with a crappy bf, fiancee or husband. You can not cause them to 'see the light' to see what you see, to make a different decision. All you can do is grin and bear it and as adviceman explained, be there as her BFF and support her wishes and choices. Someday she may wake up and realize she settled for less. Maybe she never will figure that out. Either way, just be her friend and help her to enjoy the wedding as I did mine. The real discovery on the relationship is yet to come and that is for her to discover, realize and make a decision to stay or leave. When she does finally want to leave him later if it comes to that, then again, support her in her decision. Yes, I know its hard when you believe she's making a mistake. But think of this, you can't just break off long time friendships with any friends, especially a BFF because you don't approve of her choices, even if it turns out you were right about him.

Hi there dragonflylymagic, I've asked this question with topic called has he started to have feelings for me and I'm absolutely grateful for your answer but I gotta ask you again as we both are in college. Something there, I couldn't understand about my boy mate when he said, I miss you, it's weird, you're beautiful just like that choc bar as he bought us one each. Also, "he said, don't deny you don't like me." now, why would he say, don't deny, you don't like me and I miss you and it's weird? Why is it weird. He's got a girl and I got a boy in my life. Something tells me he's definitely likes me coz I like him too. I'm so afraid to ask. He also said, you're the first person I have similar things compatible with added you do understand me, don't you (mentioned my name), I replied, I do. Called me cute. OK, could I kindly have a short and straight feedback please? Thanks a million dragonflylymagic! You're a genius lady ever.

Sounds like he is very into you. Its one thing to say he's attracted to your looks by saying you're cute and you're beautiful, but it's even better that he is looking at the whole package, who you are inside when he said 'you're the first person I have similar things compatible with'

I am guessing he is waiting for you to give him some clue that you like him and would welcome going from friends to sweethearts and dating. So he asked in a way if you really understood him. You said yes. But I am guessing that wasn't a good enough clue. Maybe something in your body language said otherwise, that perhaps you didn't totally understand.

So its quite simple, you say to him that you'd like to invite him to go out on a real date with you, not hanging as friends but going out as bf/gf. There is nothing more convincing to a guy when a female says or does something that shows without a doubt that she is into him and that is asking him out, and actions like grabbing his hand to hold and making the first move to also kiss him if you wish. If you think guys like to be the leaders in the arena of dating and would be put off by it, then hear this, the guys who really count, the good ones actually like it when a girl is forward and bold like that. Males are attracted to a female with self confidence and doing what I said is a part of what will make him see you as self confident, no matter you may not quite feel that way. i don't think you can go wrong here. And P.S. if he's anything like my second husband, he is likely waiting for you to make the first move towards him as something more than friends. The guys looking for a girl to fall in love with will not want to push her before she is ready to actually date...or more later. If you feel you're still too chicken to ask him out, then write him a note asking him out and maybe decorate with smileys and hearts. Sometimes when you can't speak the words, the written ones can work just as good.

Hi there dragonflylymagic, thank you for answering the question but I still need to trouble you with one more question, as we both are in college, my boy mate told me he will miss me and after few seconds later he said it's weird with a tiny smile on his face saying it's all your fault. Why did he say he will miss me and it's weird? I'm going away for months but also told me I'm going to miss you, are you going to miss me? I said yes of course. The thing is I have a feeling that he's likes me at least a bit. He also said,'dont deny, you don't like me!' what did he mean by that? Is he because he's confident that I like him? I do though. Thanks a million! I'm sorry for asking you the same question as I just needed a simple straight answer please. Thank you!

If I were a mind reader, then yes, I could give you a simple straight answer. I can not assume to know what he was thinking or really meant when he said those words.
I can make some good guesses. But just realize that my guesses are only guesses and not the truth until they have been confirmed. And since I am not there and its only you, it will be up to you to decide whether to get confirmation from him.

I am imagining a guy saying the same thing to me. If I heard what you did, just the 'it's weird' followed by 'it's all your fault' would make me just as curious. I would even think that he only spoke half of what he was thinking and feeling and left big gaps out and thats why I can't be sure what he said. I would have reworded what I thought he said to see if he meant exactly that. So I might have said, "So are you saying that it is a weird thing that you feel like you will miss me and that it is my fault that you feel its weird, or my fault that you will miss me? Because I am not sure I totally understand what you are getting at. You don't sound angry so I know you're not angry and accusing me of doing something wrong when you say its my fault"

Rephrasing and feeding back to a guy what you think he said is the best thing to do as its happening. Even in hindsight if you didn't, all you have to do is next time you talk, just mention you are still mulling over what he said and still are not sure what he really meant by it. Could he please explain now?

I do know that as a female, I would be using my imagination, trying to fill in the blanks and the most logical answer I would come up with is that he finds it totally an unexpected thing that he is already not looking forward to when you're gone as this feeling is what he is calling weird. I wouldn't know why he feels its weird. Maybe he's never felt this way before about anyone and so he assumed that no one ever really can miss someone that much, or maybe he feels it is strange to not want to be separate from you when to his mind he hasn't known you long enough to even begin to miss you, or maybe some other such reason.
As to saying its my fault. I would have to know his style of humor and teasing to be sure what it was. He could have been half teasing, half serious as in "What in the world did you do to me girl? Did you bewitch me or something. It's like you've gotten under my skin, I cant stop thinking about you or wanting to be with you. Just you being you and not doing anything special to try to catch me has me wanting you as more than just a friend.
All would seem to point to the fact that this is what he means but guys are notorious for not sharing enough words or in ways that a female can know for sure what they are getting at, as in there is not a 100% chance he meant that, and if theres just a slight chance he didn't, I wouldnt want to make a fool of myself assuming he meant that. So ask him dear.

i have had heaps of struggles with my boyfriend he dumped me today people are telling me to go after him... i think hes a loyal idiot i have no clue weather or not to fight for our relationship. im 13 and a girl :)

If you meant "royal idiot" I do understand well because throughout school, I always felt the guys were so immature. It is good that you are able to see this. The thing is to not feel like you are 'naked' or 'weird' because you don't have a boyfriend at your side, like an accessory to show off. You only date someone until the point that you don't like how they treat you or you see a behavior they kept hidden before but now its there and causes troubles in the relationship. That is when You Dump the Guy!
As Advice said, boys this age do have a very narrow perspective when going after a girl. Due to hormones raging, the big one is wanting sex with any girl they can cajole or trick into having with them. I have another line they tend to say (from girls who wrote to me on here) "You say you love me. So prove it by having sex with me!"
No, no no no, that is soooo wrong. They are twisting a truth to their benefit. It is true that just a guy saying he loves you isn't good enough to know he really loves you. He proves how he loves you (same with you for a guy) by how he treats you, the special things he does for you. You are attracted by his looks, but people fall in love over how a partner treats them. Then sex comes into the picture. Making love/sex is an outpouring, a byproduct of being in love, it is a way to do something special to 'celebrate' your already established love between each other, not a way to prove it to each other.
Your friends, at your age will not know any more than you do, even if they have dated before as well. It takes many more years of experience to even begin to learn how to find a great guy.
Another narrow perspective guys tend to have at this age and it may still be there for some guys at college years or later, is having been brain washed by media that only girls who are cute and have model type tendencies are the ones to go after to date. Therefore, so many great girls get overlooked. A good thing is that the percent of guys who still believe this gets smaller as they grow older and mature. So don't go after him. Heres another piece of advice. When girls go back to guys whose behavior and treatment of them is less than satisfactory, guys tend to learn that they don't have to work hard at treating girls well because they can treat girls like crap and yet girls will still want to date him. That is why there are so many men who never learned how to treat a lady right, even at older ages. Never settle for less than what you want. If you can't get a good boyfriend for now, then do without, as was said, you are not an old maid or undesirable, you have lots of time to learn. I still didn't know enough to avoid marrying the wrong guy at age 20. So take your time. and as you did this time which is a smart thing to do is write in with your questions here. There are people of all ages here but I do know that the majority who answer most all questions are college age, moms at home and older people with long lives of personal experience so you can get better advice going to someone older than you, even in person like lets say an aunt you are close to if not Mom. Maybe there is another adult in your life you are close to who is open minded and would love to try to give advice and they know you the best. Here, we may be missing information that could change how we answer, but for the most part, just go with the advice that seems to make the most sense to you. It is your life and you will be learning how to make more and more good decisions on your own. Good luck dear

I'm 19, and I've had a crush on the same guy (let's call him K) since I was 14. Last spring, he started dating a girl, and my heart was absolutely destroyed (he broke up with her last summer though). After that ended, I found myself still crushing on him, hard.

I've tried having crushes on other guys. Like, a guy will catch my eye with looks/personality, but every time I end up comparing him to K, and every time K seems superior in some way, so I never do anything about any of my other crushes.

Not that I've ever done anything about my crush on K. By now, I'm not sure I ever will.

But what I'm wondering is, will I always compare every guy I meet to K? Will they all fail the test? Will I stop crushing on K?

Crushing on someone and really knowing some one well are two different things even though some of the same feelings are involved hon. With a crush, ones imagination has to make up the majority of the information while with the other, enough time has been spent together to discover the things one can't learn from just observing the person in public. Even though it may be too early to you, to think about marrying, or you'd rather never marry, you will still want to know how to chose the best guy to date, the best for a future marriage or life long partner and father of any children you have. I didn't know what I will share with you next, when I was 20 and married the wrong person the first time around but stayed with him for almost 30 years.

So here we go with stuff that might help you to decide whether to try K or another guy. You won't find the right one the first time although a first boyfriend is always special. Without much relationship experience, it will be hard to come up with the the list of what you do and don't want in a relationship but with each relationship you will learn more and can add these things to your list and the list is what will help you to make the best decisions possible.

First, how well do you know yourself? It is helpful to a guy if you can tell him honestly who you are and what you are like in character, the good and the not so good. It worked for me to find my true love. However, to fill out a profile for yourself, to really describe yourself, your personality and who you are at core, is hard to do, like writing about your work strengths in a resume. So this is just as important as a resume only more so. You can easily leave a job that doesn't work out. Its much harder with a boyfriend or husband. So its best to be able to describe yourself well for those few you meet who may be promising. This is not just those met online but any you meet in person as you're out and about. They will have something specific they are looking for as well and need to be able to recognize the possibility that you may be the one for them. Or hopefully they will, if not, they may not recognize that you are the one for him and that is too bad for him. You want a guy who sees the real you inside too and will know he wants you, the whole package. You'll need this list or bio on yourself before you can form the list of what you are looking for in a guy. Why? Here's an example. I know a woman whose Dad was an abusive alcoholic and best the kids as well as wife. She still today can not stand the smell of alcohol cus it sends her into a panic mode all these years later. So if you can't tolerate that, it is one of the criteria you will have for a guy, that he not be a drinker, not even socially.

Besides ruling out negatives, ask yourself what it is in life that lights you up, makes you not just happy but content and feeling fulfilled. Ask yourself what is or are the passions deep inside that push you to seek out certain hobbies, pastimes, certain people with the same?

I'll give you an example. One of the things that make me passionate about certain things in life is that I am a nurturing person deep at core. This nurturing desire needs to be expressed and has been through several different avenues. For one, being a mother and raising my kids, now grandkids, loving planting and tending a garden, and yes, giving advice in an advice column. All of these things require a person driven by nurture, such as my wanting to be of help to you, to see you break free of whatever is holding you back in life or keeping you unhappy.

Once you have defined yourself with some really good descriptive words or scenerios, you will be drawing on this list to make a specific list of criteria of what is most important in a guy.
If you need help with the list of yourself, please just ask me and I will help.

Now, for the list of what you feel is Mr. Right for you. (And this could mean 'right person for this period in your life and may change later)
Actually, there will be two lists. A list of Must Haves, things which if missing are a deal breaker because they are that important to you. Do not let any guy tell you that your criteria is extremely unreasonable. I got that often. It means the guy can't meet your criteria, can't meet your Must Haves and wants you to lower your standard for them and they don't give a crap about who you are and why these are your criteria. A deal breaker would be “I want a guy who wants to have kids” “I want a guy who isn't afraid to commit, settle down and marry” “I wanted a guy who is open minded spiritually and will allow me to believe whatever I do without trying to convert me to his belief” “I wanted a guy who never raises his voice to me and is able to calmly talk things out.” “I wanted a guy who isn't a smoker or recreational drug user”.
I for example am very allergic to cigarette smoke or the lingering odor of it. Guys who smoked met with me pretending at first that they didn't. Sitting across a table at a restaurant first time, I couldn't pick it up but when riding in their car on a later date it was heavy cigarette odor in there. He claimed he didn't smoke but later by habit pulled out a cigarette and felt it was okay to lie to me cus I might fall in love once I got to know him and the cigarette smoke wouldn' t matter. It mattered that strongly to me and pissed off a couple guys real badly but you have to stick with what you want. This helps to eliminate guys with major character faults, such as being inconsistent, liars, cheaters, etc....

Do not worry that this is extreme. In fact it has been found in tests done that men (the good ones worth having) are attracted to a woman who knows what she wants, a woman who will stick by it without making excuses or apologizing for it, not afraid to ask for or state what she wants. This attitude is basically having a strong self confidence and self confidence in a woman is what made these good men choose the confident woman over the model types in looks in a test case study. You may not be all that yet at 19 but it helps to know it and be shooting for it in time.

The other list is the what you want, like the icing on the cake. It is not a need or requirement but would be nice. This list you don't share with the guy. Its for yourself in case you find several guys who meet all the critieria of your other list, to help you choose from among them.
So here is where you find things like, he likes to go dancing, he is a musician or sings well, he likes gardening, has interest in meditation, has long hair, has a 6 pack. I listed that I wanted a man who was height and weight proportionate. This meant to me that maybe there might be some chub but basically they will look reasonably okay without looking like a body builder. These things are not deal breakers to me, but if they are to you, then they're in the wrong list. This list is things you would like to see but if you don't get them, you can live without it, for the rest of your life.

I promise, these lists will help. You'll also refine it or think of things to add as you run across guys or problems that you didn't think needed to be in a list. Then if not using a dating site and posting these out there right in the beginning, at least on a 2nd date if a guy asks you out twice, (means he is reasonably interested in you) tell him you have something important you need to share with him. It's important to you. Then recite your list to him. If afraid you may leave something important off, have copies of your list in your purse to hand out to a guy. If he looks at you like this must be a joke or asks such, keep calm and smile nicely and let him know that you are very serious and have resorted to this measure because simply going out with just random guys in the past and into a relationship resulted in the wrong guy each time. It is okay to give examples if he asks. Make no excuses. If he gets upset or has a problem with any of your criteria, you could ask him why, but you can't rely at this early stage whether he may be telling the truth or not to get you to trust him and lower your standards. It is best to tell him you've decided to not consider him, as if he was an applicant for a job and his resume just isn't enough to get the position of 'boyfriend'. Think of yourself as your own human resources manager, looking for the perfect applicant for the available position of 'boyfriend.' Obviously, you will have to turn away many hopefuls.(Or in your case, if no one has approached you, you will need to be brave and approach guys to check them out better and make the first move.) I even had some guys beg me to choose them by the end of a first time meet up. That killed it. Spoke volumes of them feeling insecure, wimpy as males, and having low self esteem, all of which I wished to avoid.
Hope this helps you. This is a lot said and yet there is so much more detail to share. So ask me if you have questions.

What are some good apps for long distance relationships? Particularly for long distance ddlg relationships. I've been dating my boyfriend for the last year and we just recently started exploring this kink. He's twenty three and I'm seventeen. I just want any ideas for fun games or apps, particularly anything that allows him to have more control over my life. That sounds a little invasive. I suppose I mean more like, things that would allow him to be more involved in my daily life. But also things to help him be in control of me more. Maybe it's weird, but I like that. Not even necessarily apps. Online things are okay too. Even any recommendations for me to get into little space easier would be appreciated. Thanks!

Since I've not been involved in that myself, I know nothing off the top of my head. So I did a net search and here's a fraction of what came up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OcW4pRcS-s

http://asibdsm.com/makes-daddy-dom/

https://daddy-dom-advice.tumblr.com/

You can do the same and search you tube for more videos if you don't want to read
Good luck.

As the title says, my face is constantly flushed. I tried looking it up myself, but all I found are articles on why our face flushes when we exercise. This isn't just with exercise, this is all the time! People will tell me I'm blushing all tge time for no good reason. It foes get worse when I'm exercising though. After I'm done I literally look like a tomato. And it sticks afterwards. Even after I've caught my breath, and I'm feeling chill, in still extremely red. I'm not at the best weight, but I wouldn't say I'm moribly obese. I like to move, even if I don't get out much. Whenever I look around, people have a normal face, while I'm really red. Even the people who are bigger or have done more exercise than me! This is starting to get really embarrassing for me, amd wanted to know if this might mean something. Thanks!

I put in a internet search for "Why is my face red " and "What causes red face" and got several hits. Most all talk about Rosacea. I can not tell you if that is what it is, but I am posting a link to blog by a dermatologist...for the purpose of giving you hope that it can be treated by a dermatologist not to figure out exactly what skin condition it is. Since Rosacea worsens over time, it is best to go right away for an appointment and get diagnosed and treated. Here's the article:
http://blog.uvahealth.com/2014/04/17/face-red-two-common-skin-problems/

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