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Do guys hide their feelings towards the girl they fancy?
Hello,
Been mates for a year. I know that he fancies me and I fancy him which is I can tell is not right at the moment because of having a significant others in ours lives as he's got a girlfriend and a kid with her and I have a boyfriend. But I can tell he's not that happy because he hardly talks about her in case if I ask about her and I'm also not entirely happy with my relationship at the moment. His jokes to me it looks more like a flirting but he insists it's a banter, we have a good banter because we're good friends he states yet it still seems like a flirt to me. We both are in our mid 20's. He hardly asks about my bf and barely mention his gf. But me, i tend to mention my bf at least once or twice in front of him. Today I rang him because I hadn't seen him for a few days, just talked for a few minutes but I was the one to make a call first, he said he was crazy busy which is understanding coz I know his work. My question is, do guys hide their feelings no matter how much they like the girl and miss the girl? We're good mates and he's giving me signs but wouldn't text or ring me unless I ring or text him first. Also, why wouldn't he mention his gf often? Is it because he's feeling something for me? Could that be possible? I feel like I'm starting to fall for him. I don't know if it's just an infatuation. I just feel like I want to give him a kiss on the cheek or hug him when I see him (he's given me peck on the cheek few times already). I like him and we get on just great. Guys, is it really bad to fall for each other when we have significant others?? I feel like he misses me terribly but pretends he don't, wouldn't tell me. Is he hiding his feelings?? Do guys hide their feelings when they fancy the girl? Any suggestions guys? I'm sorry for the long message. Thanks ever so much.
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Unless he is shy, nope. You will know
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I know you want to know about hidden feelings. I have known enough males from brother, father to other male relatives and male partners to know that how or whether they show any emotions, especially love all depends on their personality and how they were raised. Okay, just fancying someone isn't the same as love but it leads there. I do not know this guys personality or background so I couldn't tell you. However you've been friends for a year. It wouldn't hurt to have a heart to heart talk with him. Your womans intuition is telling you that somethings going on in him that has nothing to do with just caring about a friend. Yes, sometimes people flirt just for fun but that alone isn't a good sign someone is into you.
Here's what I have curiousity about, both you and he being in relationships you're unhappy about.
Yes it's possible to find someone more wonderful, especially when a person is in a bad relationship. The bad relationship is up for you to decide whether it is such or not. I;m talking about two people who've lost interest in each other, have no chemistry other than the initial excitement at first meet which wore off in a handful of months or less, one who isn't faithful to the other, one neglects the other, doesn't value the other, puts the other down and or yells and fights often.
I don't mention marriage counseling since yours is not a marriage. It is the least likely thing to happen, dating couples seeking out the equivalent of a marriage counselor to see if the relationship is savable. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
However, when only dating, even if some kind of commitment was made, it could have been made believing you found the best man you will ever find. That is, until a better one truly comes along. If either of you are not happy in current relationships, what then is keeping you with the one you no longer care for, and don't say it's because you care a little about him? Heck, I can care about good neighbor friends but I sure am not in a dating relationship with every nice man I meet. Nice doesn't equal perfect partner for you.
It takes a lot more to have a healthy relationship. Could you say you were willing to die trying to protect your boyfriend if he was attacked? Most wouldn't know til such an event happened but if you can not even imagine putting your own life at risk trying to save the life of a loved one, chances are, they are not really loved by you as you may believe is so. Its much the same fierce love a mother would have trying to protect her children she loves.
I am guessing that having a place to live is what is keeping one or both of you with your respective partners. there is no law that says he has to live with the mother of his child. He can still pay child support and be in a new relationship. So the child doesn't count as an excuse.
Why stay and be miserable? It may turn out that even if you got to know your male friend better, that even he might not be right for you. I had to meet and date quite a few of the wrong people before I ever found my 2nd husband. The good ones are harder to find than the wrong ones. The wrong guys are a penny a dozen, so easy to get but so miserable to stay in relationship with. My 1st husband was a mistake that used up 30 years of my life. I should have left much sooner but I wasn't brave enough. I hope you can be brave enough to leave and brave enough to remain single until you find one you think promising. He may or may not be. But its in the dating or hanging out with often that you will learn enough to realize whether any guy you're attracted to not only truly returns your love but is the perfect partner.
I don't believe guys will kiss another female, even on the cheek is they are happy with a partner. Its too dangerous and could lead to more feelings and eventually losing control one day and going all the way to making love. Even if a guy was single, he wouldn't kiss a girl who has a bf or husband or do whatever he does to leave signs that he is interested in her as more than a friend. Guys know how easily a female can mistake anything as an encouraging sign from him to proceed with a relationship between the two of them. So why entice a girl if he doesn't mean it. I know most males to freak out if a girl is heart broken or crying. It short circuits their brain and they panic, not knowing what to do. So they would rather avoid any action that could put him in that situation so to avoid being stuck in that awkward spot. A big one is breaking up with a girl. Even if unhappy, a guy is more afraid of telling her he wants to leave her and will stay and be unhappy. But it doesn't mean his need for having a female friend-confidant-lover combo has been taken care of. So there is a slight chance this is what your male friend is facing right now. I don't know how many males there are who would stay in an unhappy relationship and play around on the side or at least wish too. It may be he is using you to fulfill a need for the friendship side of a healthy man and woman relationship. But there are sexual needs too. If unhappy with both in a current partner, a man or woman will seek someone on the side. If its just unhappy with the sex side, they love their partner as their friend, then they would not want to leave their gf/wife, just get the sex only on the side. I ran into a couple guys like this. Or if they have great sex, but she's not treating him well otherwise, he will seek just friendship with love, with a female he is attracted to, elsewhere. You need to know where he stands. If he is too chicken to tell you the truth as his friend, then there is no hope of anything happening between the two of you. Plus you need to talk if both of you would lose a place to live by leaving your current partners. If its the only things holding both of you back from ending unhappy relationships, then you both need to both your heads together and work this out together. People who can not do that, will not do well in a committed relationship long term or life long. I hope it all works out well for you.
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