about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I'm a junior in high school and I have a 2.7 GPA. I feel awful. I literally hate myself and now I won't be able to get into a good college. What do you think?

Whoa hold on there. A 2.7 GPA is not all that bad and there is still time to bring it up if you put the effort into it. You still have just over 3o days until the end of the first semester plus the entire second semester to bring up your grade. I know no one likes doing school work over the winter break with the holidays and everything though this is your best opportunity to bring your GPA up.

You are 0.3 away from a 3.0 GPA which will be good enough to get you into some of the better schools. You are probably failing or close to failing one class or have low grades in two or more classes. Whichever it is ask those teachers for extra credit work you can do now and over the holiday break. If you are having trouble with those classes ask for tutors to help you bring your grades up in those classes.

Worst case scenario is you do not get accepted to a college you want to attend though one or more schools do accepted you. Your choice is to attend one of those schools and get the prerequisite studies completed for your major then transfer to the college of your choice. The other option is to attend a local community college. Take some of the prerequisite studies there while taking remedial classes in the those course you had trouble with in High School.

My son did the later and found the teaching method at the community college much different and more understandable to him. His course of study was Emergency Medical Technician for which he not only received his AA degree but his Paramedic license as well. His GPA in high school was worse than yours but in College he was the honor graduate from his course of study.

He is now a firefighter/paramedic the job he always wanted. With his degree he can go on to several different courses of study including Emergency Medical Management and Nursing. While he intends to retire from the fire department both of those other jobs would pride a great secondary income as he will still be young enough to work if he wants to.

Using my son as an example you can see all is not lost. You just need to decide what is the best course to follow and to buckle down and get the job done.

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Hello. I've just got a little inquiry. Can someone work as both a paleontologist and archaeologist. I was thinking about doing a double major in Geology and Anthropology, hoping to go from there into two MS in Paleontology and Archaeology. I know this means a LOT of work but I'm willing to go by without the extra sleep. I'm just wondering if anyone out there knows if this could maybe be a possibility.

I am not aware of what job openings there would be for someone with degrees in both sciences especially a Masters degree in both. What I will say is one is helpful to the other and that has to be a plus in whichever field you apply to.

TO get the best answer to the question I would suggest you speak with a career counselor at school.

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Hey, so basically, I'm a guy and ive got this friend who I a girl. We were both talking about like sex and stuff, and what it would be like and she gave me a blow job. I didnt do anything to her, at all, but now I dont know if I've cheated on my girlfriend, even though I didnt do anything, only my friend did something...

If you were a willing participant, meaning she didn't hold a gun to your head, then you did cheat on your girlfriend. It is the same thing as if you gave her oral sex but she did not return the oral sex to you. You actively participated in a sex act with someone other than your current girlfriend. This is cheating.

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but isn't cybering just talking to others online also

I'm going to have to disagree with Razhie this one time. This is unusual for us as generally we are in full agreement on most subjects.

Cybering is primarily sexting over the internet and runs the entire length of sexual exchanges. In including up to sexual harassing of someone. Simply put it is mostly virtual sex up to the point it turns into bullying and sexual harassing of someone.

It is in this area of the internet that young women can get hurt. You never know if the person you are cyber sexting with is really who they say they are. That person could be the 14 or 15 year old boy he says he is. Or he could be a 35 year old man sexual predator who will try to try to arrange to meet you. This is where teenage girls can be physically hurt or even kidnapped or killed.

Never go to meet someone that you can't meet at school. You should have mutual friends who can vouch that this person is the person you're sexting with and he is who he says he is.

The internet is a dark place that sexual predators like to inhabit. IF your into Cybering make sure you know who you are texting with.

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I've been going to public school since kindergarten (I'm in eighth grade now), and honestly, I'm frustrated by how little we actually learn at school in comparison to the amount of "busy-work" we do. I only have a few classes where I actually feel as if I'm learning anything - the rest are seemingly pointless. Would homeschooling be a good option? And if so, are there any online learning programs you would recommend? Also, is it a good idea to start in the middle of the school year or should I wait until next year (ninth grade)? Thank you!!

This is something that requires you and your parents to have a conversation on the subject. It appears your public school has not challenged you enough.

For some reason you are placed in a class of students who need more time to grasp the subject then you do. Public school teachers with class sizes ranging from 24 to 31 students have to teach to the medium ability of the class. This leaves students like you wanting more and slower learning students behind.

Home schooling does allow for greater challenges though there is a curriculum that is followed and once a week you attend a class at the homeschool classroom. You do not get to sit home alone and learn on your own. A parent must be willing and able to monitor and teach the different subjects to you. Some home school programs will allow students to work with other students in their home if say both your parents must work.

There are other alternatives to home schooling. There are charter schools and private schools where you may find more challenging classes and teachers. The benefit here to you is the resources these schools will have that a home school program will not have.

My advice is not to look to make the change with the fall semester given that it so close at hand. You need to sit down with your parents and tell them you need a more challenging education then your present are providing. Once you explain to them why you feel this way you can ask them about homeschooling, possibly attending a charter school or if they can afford a private school for you where you will be challenged more.

This is not something you can do on your own it takes an action by your parents. Once they decide that you need a change and what they can afford to do for you. Then together you can move forward. If they and you have the time to do the research to find the right program for you. It might be possible to make the change for the spring semester just don't count on it.

You may only have the opportunity to do this one time so make sure you do it right.

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I found a refurbished gold ipad for $299 on Apple's website. Is it worth it?

http://www.apple.com/shop/product/FGYE2LL/A/refurbished-ipad-mini-3-wi-fi-16gb-gold

Refurbished does not always mean it was someone else's that was traded in for an upgrade or repaired. Refurbished could also mean it was an out of box item they used in a store for a display model or it was the wrong color shipped to the customer.

Whatever the reason Apple is selling it as refurbished as they cannot sell it as new. If they are giving any type of limited warranty with the sale then it is well worth the price as the new model coming out is selling or $699 to $799 depending if you want the phone in it.

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Long story short, I'm going alone to visit a college that I plan to start attending in the Spring. I originally planned to bring a boy I was dating, but that didn't work out so he won't be going. Then I planned to bring one of my female friends with me, but she can't get anybody to watch her baby and he's too young to bring outside the home. I also invited another boy I'm dating now, but he doesn't want to go because it's too early in the morning.

I don't want to bring either of my parents because I feel like that would make me look immature. I also don't want them embarrassing me or complaining about something (which I know they would).

The thing is, I get somewhat bad social anxiety when I go alone to somewhere unfamiliar and full of people and I don't want to look awkward and wind up walking around and getting lost.

I really don't want to go alone especially because it's an all day event that includes two meals and a campus tour. I know if I go alone I'm going to get really scared and want to leave.

What should I do?

You will be attending this school in the spring. Will you be attending alone or do you have friends presently attending that you go be with?

The reason for this question is simple. If you will be attending in the fall and do not have anyone to be with. Then this trip will be a test to see if you can actually get there, do what has to be done or planned and return home without having a panic attack.

What I know about panic attack is for the most part they are fear of the unknown. Fear that someone will say something and you will not know how to respond. Fear of the unfamiliar as well.

My panic attack start with a strange form of claustrophobia. I can be in a room full of people and not have a problem. But if the room is overheated I can have a panic attack. If the room is small and windowless I can have a panic attack.

Since I too have panic attacks I am familiar with what you may be facing. One thing I have learned is as I have shown you. Is to know the triggers of my attacks. Social anxiety is a panic attack. You do exist on a daily basis within social circles. Think about where you are and what you are doing when these attach occur. Knowing exactly what triggers the attacks can help you avoid them.

If these attacks are severe enough you may want to talk with a therapist who can help you with ways to deal with them far better than I can.

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My ex crush keeps smirking at me ... like this morning, he smirked at me and gave me a respectable head nod as I was headed to my office... why????

i no longer like him because I found out he has a fiancée and has been engaged for 3yrs..he told me he was single..he lied bluntly to my face.....I stopped all the chit chats and the walks etc....I totally backed off. he knows I cant have him and he cant have me.....and if he was to mess with me he'd be cheating.....so I was thinkin him smirkin and staring at me aint nothing good....I think he has something up his sleeve...and it aint nothing good...his behavior is odd, im thinkin he may try and rape me....cuz the way he has been actin is very odd........what do u all think any advice? thanks

Hey calm down, it is a big jump to go from a smirk to Rape in a single jump. Most men are not rapist and doubt he is.

As for the smirk, trust me he is just being an ass. He probably knows you found out he is a liar and a potential if not an actual cheater on fiancé. The smirk is he ego saying to you something to the effect; "You don't know what you're missing kid."

Once again trust me your not missing a thing. Guys like him have egos bigger than they are able to support with any type of action. They are in general narcissistic asses who believe they are gods gift to women.

IF you really want to put him in his put him in his place. When he smirks at you again smile back at him and hold your thumb and pinky about and inch apart. HE will get the message.

My best advice though is to ignore him.

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I'm 25 my boyfriend is 23. We have officially been dating for a month now. I've never been the touchy feely kind of person. My ex boyfriend would never hold my hand, kiss me in front of others or anything like that. barely would hug me. So i was kind of used to no affection.

Well now my current boyfriend always wants to be touching me. If we're watching tv he always wants to hold my hand or lay on me. I feel a little smothered. Sometimes I back off a little and he's like "youre mean" I dont know how to approach this. I do like him - I like kissing him. But sometimes the touching and constant contact can be too much. He knows I'm not really like that - I've told him before. But if hes touching me or something he's like you never touch me or why dont you touch me more.

Can someone help me with this situation?

I can only base my advice on what you write. Had you written what you wrote in the rating I might have given different advice. Next time you write us take the time to give us everything concerning your problem. There is no limit on space.


I won't say your wrong to not want to be touched. What is a bit strange for your boyfriend is part of romance is snuggling on the couch and watching a movie. Then moving on to making out, yes even at your age, and eventually to have sex. It's a process all males are familiar with.

IF you won't let him snuggle with you then how do you move to the making out stage and into the sex stage. This is for him the normal process of a relationship. Without it he sees red flags and he is stuck for how to build a relationship with you.

For the sake of argument let's say you have jumped past the first two stages and gone right to having sex. While this is very enjoyable I'm sure, he is still confused He may be thinking are we building a relationship her or are we sex buddies.

There may be a deep seated reason why you don't like to be touched. One possibility is as a small child you may have been molested in some manner and it is in a repressed memory.

You might want to give yourself the opportunity to find out the why of your reasons behind not liking to be touched. This could be done in therapy with a psychologist.

If your working you company may have included with your health insurance and EAP program. If so contact the EAP coordinator and have them put you in touch with a therapist. Generally the program will pay for a certain amount of visits. IF you need more visits then they will pay for. Your health insurance most likely has a mental health benefit to assist with the cost.

As I said there is nothing wrong with not liking to be touched. Just unusual in a romantic situation.

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I'm a 16 y/o born female..

I did have a self label of bisexual, and gender fluid. Now, I'm just... Q. (Questioning)

I am more attracted to girls than guys. If I see an attractive guy walking down the street, of course I'll think, "Wow, he's pretty cute!" Same thing with a girl.

However, I am NOT sexually attracted to men. I cannot imagine myself having any sort of sexual relations with a man.. but with a girl, I can.

For the future... well even now.

I can see myself as more of a man. My height is kind of holding me back. I'm 5' 7" ish, and I see guys who are 6' and taller.

I prefer dressing as a guy, and it kind of upsets me when I'm out with my mom wherever, and a person says, "Can I help you two ladies with anything?"

I try making my voice deeper, and I wear a binder from GC2B. I've been thinking about having top surgery.. and maybe even taking Testosterone.

I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin.

What does this make me??

Does this make me transgender?

For the moment I would put you under the heading of GENDER CONFUSED. For we really do not know enough about transgender from a medical or scientific standpoint as to why some people feel they are transgender.

As some people seem to start to feel this way when puberty begins. There is some talk that it might be a hormonal mix up. How this could happen I'm not sure I think that would have to go back to the Chromosomal level. Then again I'm not a doctor or a scientist.

If you are transgender then this is the time you can start to find out about yourself and what you may want to do . Right now the surgeries you are thinking of cannot be done electively as you are too young.

What you can do is start the psychological process that will allow you to have the elective surgeries you may want when you are old enough to have them. This process requires 2 year psychiatric help from a psychiatrist and a psychologist who after a 2 year minimum of working with you will affirm you are transgender and this is a needed surgery. During this period you will be required to live as a man. Meaning you dress as a man, use the men's restroom and locker rooms; so on and so forth.

The best thing I can recommend right now is you go on the LGBT National WEB site and find a Chapter in your area and contact them to find out the location of their support group meetings. These meetings will help you with all your questions.

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Is it normal to talk to myself?

Sometimes when I am doing homework, particularly when I am just starting a task, I talk to myself...just little things like "so how shall we start?" or "what's next" or "okay, let's.....".

Also, a lot of times if I am doing math, I talk myself through each and every step: "now we multiply by two" "oh look! that works!" "how do we go on from here?...." One of my friends described it like I have a bunch of little men in my head telling me what to do. I don't feel that way, I don't feel like my head is messed up. She didn't mean it that way either, just to clarify.

Anyways, I am wondering, is it normal for me to do that? Can I talk to myself when I'm doing stuff?

I believe everyone has the right to cry and crying is normal. Crying allows you to relieve what ever is tormenting or stressing you to a breaking point. Trying to suppress the urge to cry can only harm you in other ways.

Some people may tell it is unmanly to cry and to man up. Anyone who tells you this is wrong. Everyone has their emotional side and there are times when those emotions become overwhelmed for the reasons I stated.

If it was wrong for a man to cry then how would the former speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives remained the Speaker for as long as he did. He cried on National television. HE cried in the House Chamber and in his District Meetings. People can say what they like about the man's politics. HE was and is a very emotional man who didn't care who saw his emotional side.

In short my answer is; If you feel the need to cry, go ahead and let it out.

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For a quick reference, my boyfriend and I both work in Walmart, he is a support manager on the general merchandise side and I work as a cashier but I sometimes cover service desk. My manager is the front end manager and his manager is the general manager of basically everything that isn't food.

My issue is with my manager and how I'm fairly certain she has a vendetta against me and is trying to get my boyfriend and I broken up. She has this weird obsession with calling him "bae" and she does it to his face and in front of me all the time.
The other day, there was a product recall and she said right next to me "well, I guess I have to call bae up here to help me with that olive oil recall.....aw cute, he can be the popeye to my olive oil." So, I got annoyed but since she's my superior I couldn't get angry at her, so I turned to her and jokingly said, "hey, he's my bae" and she said "oh no, not until Christmas, he's all my bae-he is Santa and the store told me that I should be Mrs. Clause so he is mine."
I spent the night at my boyfriend's place the other day and he told me that when she went back to do the product recall with him, she brought it up to him that she keeps calling him bae in front of me and he told her that I was texting him about it, getting annoyed and she said "well, she doesn't have to worry-it's not like anyone wants you anyway" so I don't know what her deal is.

She also, will not for the life of her, let me advance. I've been asked numerous times by my supervisor if I could take the exam to become a customer service supervisor which would basically be the position of me watching over the other cashiers if they need help-a promotion with a pretty nice pay raise. So, I took the exam and passed, my supervisor talked to my manager about it and she said no, I can't do it because I'm dating my boyfriend and that would technically make him my manager and that would be a conflict of interest even though my boyfriend's job does not entail him to cover front end at all.
They since hired another girl as the customer service supervisor. So, I asked if I could be at the service desk full time, I've been a cashier for two years, I need a change. My supervisor said she would love to have me over there because we do not have enough people over there so she trained me and everything and when we asked if I could move over there permanently, my manager still said no.

But she did ask if I wanted to move back to the cash office which would entail my hours to be five in the morning til two in the afternoon every single day, with no pay raise at all, when my boyfriend works twelve to eleven everyday. So I told her no for that, obviously, if I do not get a pay raise, there's no incentive at all for me to ever want to go in to work at five in the morning and basically lose every chance I would ever get to see my boyfriend.

So, I guess after all of that venting, I'm just reaching out to someone to see what I can do about this. I think she is acting very unprofessionally and while I know for a fact that I won't be working at Walmart for the rest of my life, I'm trying to advance while I'm able and make my resume look as good as I can so I can get out as soon as I graduate. I'm just not sure what I can do to stop this nonsense so my work life can feel way less stressful.

The proper way to deal with this is to file an official complaint with the Human Recourses department. Unless Wal-Mart has a written policy against fraternization between employees, which I doubt they do. You manager is harassing you and impeding you from promoting possibly for sexual reasons. By sexual reasons she may have designs on your boyfriend.

Calling him by a pet name even if it is just in front of you is unprofessional and a form of sexual harassment. Human Recourses must take this complaint seriously and speak with this manager and the other supervisors to verify your story. IF verified they must take corrective action to make you whole. In other words to either give you the higher salary in your present position or promote you to the position you were held back from. If they do not you can then go to your local office of the EEOC and file a complaint.

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Im wondering if i should hide this from my parents. I know its odd what i do but its better then me liking drugs or criminal acts. And better then knocking up a girl. But im worried about being kicked to the street. Thou id love to be able to be around my mom and she would know im diapered and be ok with it maybe even smile at me or hold me on the couch while we watch a tv show or movie like me and her do alot while her bf plays his pc games with his buddies. How do i tell her. She caught me once years ago and was confused and kinda weirded out thinking i was sick in the head but im not. I plan to go to college next fall and i do am bery normal in everyway but i like wearing diapers nothing wrong with that is there and its not like i use them all the time and if i do its only number 1 never 2. What do i do i dont wanna cause a problem but i also want to be able to just be around my mom and be comfortable with it knowing she knows and i dont gotta hide it. I mean i dont mind hiding it from her bf if that helps. By the way im 24 and a male

Wearing a diaper is considered a fetish; a sexual fetish at that. Not everyone is comfortable with fetishes. Diapering is a rather benign fetish as opposed to spanking.

What is these two fetishes have in common is finding a person that will accept either of these two fetishes for what they are. In most cases they are stress relieving. For the most part they are harmless fetishes that serve a unique purpose in the life of the person with the fetish.

If you explain yourself properly to your mother she may understand but the chances are she may not as certain fetishes were not spoken of in her day or now in her age group.

I advise against walking around your dorm room in a diaper. For certain you roommate is not going to understand and it will cause you all sorts of trouble on campus. If you feel the need for stress relief and this is why you wear diapers then when the need is great you may have to go off campus to a motel to wear them for you own well being.

There is nothing wrong with this fetish. It is just not one that is well accepted. What I advice is you look on the web to see if there may be a diaper club in your area.

I did a quick search on the web and found the following two URLS to Diapering fetish sites. These sites may be helpful to you in finding like minded people you can share your fetish with.

http://diapermates.com/

http://abdlmatch.com/

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I'm a 13 year old girl and my friend, Max, invited me to a sleepover party in Sydney with another friend, Lucas. Us three slept in a separate room to his parents and where mucking around. Max slept in my bed cause he wanted to and we kinda half had sex. Lucas had gone to sleep and so yeah. Of course we didn't use protection. I can't get fat, and being serious, so about 2 weeks later (now) when I started to get a little tiny bump and felt quite sickish at times, I began to get worried. I haven't been able to take a pregnancy test so I don't know.
Also if I am pregnant how do I tell my mum?!?

Before you do anything you need to make sure you’re pregnant. It takes a bit more than two weeks before a bump would be noticeable.

When you and Lucas had sex was it between the 7th and 21st day of your menstrual cycle. If it wasn't then the chances are good you were in a safe time of the month and you are not pregnant. Try and figure what time of the month it was for you.

If you had sex anytime between those dates it is possible you are pregnant. It depends how close to when you actually ovulated. Three days before and three days after ovulation is the time in which a girl can get pregnant for that is the life cycle of sperm and the egg.

If you had sex with Lucas between the 7th and 21st day of your cycle you need to get a home test kit. I don't know the laws in your country but if you have a friend that is 14 I believe he or she can buy one for you.

Put it in your purse. In the morning when you take your shower carefully unpack the test kit and follow the directions on the package and take the test. Once you have the results plus or minus, put everything back in the package and pack in your purse. It is summer where you are so you are probably not in school. Go to a mall or some shopping area and dispose of the test kit. If you are in school you can dispose of the kit at school. Best place would be the cafeteria.

Now if you are pregnant the best way to tell your mom is not to beat around the bush. Take mom aside from the rest of the family. Sit her down and just tell her straight out; "Mom I'm pregnant.

I don't know your mom so I cannot predict her reaction. She may start yelling, she may start crying. Whatever her reaction let her react to what you have told her. Then after she has calmed herself answer her questions truthfully.

Again I do not know the laws in your country. What I do know is at 13 you are still a minor and you may have to give in to whatever your parent decide regardless of your personal views. Meaning if your parents decide on an abortion you may not have any say since in the eyes of the law you are a minor and your parents are responsible for you.

In short before you do anything is to take a home pregnancy test. If it is negative you may still miss you next period from all the stress you are under at the moment. You could test again if you want. But stress is a major reason a women will miss her period.

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Hi, I'm Katherine and I'm 14. I'm a month into my first ever relasonship with this awesome guy...and it's super awkward. Honestly, it's just composed of us smiling at each other when we're hanging out at school because we never know what to say, saying "hi" in the halls, and, rarely, texting for about 15 minutes.
I'm kind of scared he might end it. I mean, we've held hands once, and I was fine with it but he seemed uncomfortable. does that mean anything? How can I prevent things from being so awkward? Please answer and I hope you have a good day :)

Hi Katherine, let me say that what you are experiencing is all very normal. This relationship is all new to you and possibly to him as well though you have both been in relationships before without realizing it.

When you were younger and you made friends to play with, that was a relationship. It is part of the building blocks we use as we grow and mature. You’re now a teenager and the next level of relationships and maturity is taking place; this all a learning experience.

Just as you learned to choose your friends you will learn, through trial and error, how to choose boys and men, to enter into a relationship with. There will always be an awkward stage to any new relationship while you explore each other like's and dislike and what things you may have in common.

You’re in school now, possibly in the same grade. It doesn't sound like you share any classes but you may have the same teachers. This could be a starting point for conversations between you. You could ask him who his teachers are. Maybe you and he share the same teacher for a subject at different times. You could ask him what he thinks of that teacher. This is something you have in common.

Another conversation started for something at school would be the school lunch. You could ask him if he had the cafeteria lunch today. If he said he did then you could offer your comments on it or if he said yea it was horrible. That's a conversation starter.

In order for a relationship to grow and prosper you two must have things in common to talk about. As I tell older people. Romance is not everything. There comes a time when you wake up and find you have nothing in common and nothing to talk about. That's when the romance dies.

Talk to him; question him about likes and dislike. This is how you learn about whether someone is worth putting the effort into a relationship by vetting him to see if you compatible.

By the way sex does not make a relationship compatible. Do not ever give a boy or a man sex if he says something like; "If you love me you will have se with me." The guy that uses a line like this is not in love with you. He lusts for you and young guys will confuse love and lust believing they are one in the same.

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I'm 25 my boyfriend is 23. We have officially been dating for about a month now. We both came from long-term relationships with our exes. I do not talk to my ex at all, no contact, no social media - nothing. On the other hand my boyfriends ex will not leave him alone. They do have a dog together but the dog stays at his exs house and he will go pick him up when he can or when she needs him to. When she found out we were dating she texted him saying that she can't believe he moved on and that shes mad he didnt ask how she would feel before he asked me out. It's not like they were only broken up for a week - they had been broken up for about 6 months already. She's constantly texting him and recently she texted him saying she wants to talk with him about how shes feeling and to get things off her chest.

I've talked with my boyfriend how I feel uncomfortable with her always trying to contact him and he agrees. He said he would be mad too if my ex boyfriend was doing that to me. He said that he doesn't even text her back. He said he appreciated me coming to him and being honest and talking to him about it. She's been calling him though and he doesn't pick up. He's told me shes crazy and wants nothing to do with her. He said that either hes going to tell her to not contact him at all or only if its about Cooper (their dog). He thinks that if he says that though then shes going to use that as an excuse to contact him all the time. I told him i would feel guilty for him telling her to not contact him at all because then he wouldnt get to see the dog.

He's reassured me multiple times that he wants nothing to do with her, he only wants me and would not do anything to jeopardize our relationship. It just makes me uneasy when shes constantly trying to talk to him and she wont leave him alone. I admit I have some trust issues, specifically because of my past relationship. I'm working really hard on it and my boyfriend knows about this but I don't know what to do!

A dog is like someone's child it is very hard to part with them. I think you two are doing the right thing talking about this issue. Even though you say you have trust issues, trust is something that is earned not always a given. Talking as you are should be helping you with your trust issues and learning to trust him as well and hopefully not until he proves differently.

As for his girlfriend because of the dog she does have a card to hold over him as far as having continued contact. As far as her phone calls are concerned you can on any phone, cellphones in particular, block her number. This will at least stop her calls from coming through. You might suggest this to your boyfriend. It will also stop her texting. He can unfriend her on Facebook so she cannot see his postings though she can still send him messages.

I understand having trust issues especially if someone broke your trust in a previous relationship. You can't go through life today without trusting people. Some people have to be given trust on face value. A police officer would be such a person. Others like your boyfriend get a certain amount of trust up front and the rest they earn, just as you earn their trust as people get to know you.

It is unfortunate that there are people out there who will take advantage of your trust. As you get older, wiser and more mature you will learn to spot the con artists before they harm you.

I look at it this way. When two people enter into a relationship there comes a time when that relationship becomes or wishes to become sexual. Sex to a man is mostly mechanical and does not require a whole lot of trust. For a women it is different, trust is a big part of having sex. If you are at the sexual stage with this man then he has earned your respect and trust. Build on that with him and don't worry about her jealousy.

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I'm 25 and my ex and I were together for 4 years. I absolutely loved him. I thought he was going to be my husband one day.

After 4 years he completely broke my heart. He said it was because he just didn't love me anymore and the feelings weren't there. I tried everything and he just couldn't get his feelings back. But in reality I found out he was interested in another girl. He started dating this girl 3 days after he broke up with me. I had a weird feeling about her towards the end of our relationship but he would always deny it. When he broke up with me I asked if it was because of her and he denied it again. So he blatantly lied to my face after I thought I could trust him. When I confronted him about it he shoved me to the ground and I haven't talk to him since.

4 months later now I've found a new guy I've been dating. He's wonderful - so good to me. But I just still occasionally think about my ex. I have times where I'm so mad at him that I hate him and other times I'm just sad. We have no contact at all. I just feel kind of guilty that he still pops up in my mind when I have this wonderful guy whose faithful and would do anything for me.

Should I feel guilty? How can I stop thinking about him? :/

No you have no reason to feel guilty. Breaking up of any relationship can be traumatic. This was a relationship you had invested 4 years of your life in and thought was headed for a lifetime commitment. It is going to hurt when a relationship of this long breaks up and you are going to grieve over it for a time and there will be times when a certain smell or maybe a special place will bring back a memory. This is all quite normal.

The one thing I will caution you over is your current relationship. While it is great you found someone who loves you and you love him. It is very possible this is a rebound relationship so please be very careful with giving this man your heart and soul until you are absolutely sure this is for real and not a lifeboat for your injured feelings.

My hope is for you that the relationship is real. I would not want to see another letter from you asking where you went wrong. Rebound relationships happen and they feel very real. All I ask is you take the time make sure that it is real so you do not get hurt again. Your only 25 you have plenty of time to make sure he is the one.

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I'm tired of men telling me im too good for them.....how is someone too good for someone? i have a level head, i stopped partying at 25, im 31 now..... i have no kids, a good job and im still single....wth...what do men want?

This may sound a bit crude but this may be what you are asking about. There really is not enough information to go by here.

Men at your age should be looking to settle down and start applying themselves to a career. Many are looking for a strong independent women. One who can be eye candy for the office parties who can flirt with the bosses but will also be a whore in their bedroom. They want a women they can bring home to mom who is someone mom approves of as a wife and mother to future grandchildren.

Frankly they are looking for a custom fit in an off the rack world. On the other hand a women your age is listening to her biological clock ticking. When she finds a man that fits the image she is looking for she is too quick to start planning the wedding. That or she finds someone that almost fits her image that she can love but he needs some rework. In this case she starts to rework him to fit what she wants in a man.

Not knowing you or knowing the type of men you are dating I can only point out what I know about today's men and women. My own son has been someone who is looking for that custom fit in an of the rack world. I finally convinced him to try one of the dating sites. After the third try it looks like I have a daughter in-law in the near future.

My suggestion is to try a dating site like Match.com. Besides my son, and I do not know which site he used, I know several of his friends and co-workers who have found their matches through these sites. You may also as you get to list what your are looking for and pre qualify those looking for someone like you.

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I am not funny! I pretty much just make a fool out of myself being all silly to try to be somewhat funny. I try to say funny things but they're not funny and it's just embarrassing. I try to just stop trying to be funny but I always seem to just keep trying. Any advice?

My First question is; Why do you feel you have to be funny all the time. DO you feel you have to be the class clown to have friends and get attention?

Being the class clown is not really the way to make friends. Real friends do not use friends for their own special interest. People who keep the class clown around are generally doing just that. They are not truly friends.

I would suggest you just try and be you. Somewhere underneath all that clowning is a real person who has a lot to offer as a friend and a companion and yes even as a lover. If you cover these great assets up by clowning no one will ever see them. Worst of all it will be both yours and their loss.

If you have trouble making friends then try this. Sit down and make a list. Yes write down all the things you like to do. Whatever it is; Camping, fishing, hiking, bike riding, bowling, reading whatever. Then look at the list and number them in order of preference.

Take the top 5 and look for clubs that deal with those interests. Because these clubs have similar interests as you do. You don't have to be the class clown to get anyone's attention. You should be able to offer or join in on conversations. Doing so will allow people to see the real you and that is how you make friends.

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We are hosting a potluck for turkey day. the person who wanted to do this is a vegetarian, and then my boss said we all have to participate (yet, i normally dont involve myself in these activities, but since i must) ive decided to make dressing. Do I have to go out of my way to accommodate a vegetarian
co-worker?





You don't have to accommodate a co-worker though it would be nice.

Being a vegetarian is far different than being a vegan and much easier to cook for. It is not hard to find a simple recipe for a dressing that is vegetarian. The ingredients are mostly the same you would use in any other dressing minus certain proteins with a reasonable substitute added.

I had a friend that was a brittle diabetic. I found when she was visiting using the vegetarian diet recipe book I was able to make tasty meals that allowed us all to enjoy a meal together without having to cook two separate meals.

Try looking on the web for a substitute for the ingredient that is not vegetarian or look on the web for a vegetarian dressing.

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