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I'm not funny!
I am not funny! I pretty much just make a fool out of myself being all silly to try to be somewhat funny. I try to say funny things but they're not funny and it's just embarrassing. I try to just stop trying to be funny but I always seem to just keep trying. Any advice?
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If you really want it, you can be funnier. Simply as a matter of public speaking, start by learning how to tell a joke with a beginning middle and end. Study theory of humor and comedy. Learn to be relevant and quick of wit, choosing humorous responses that comment on circumstances or conversation in the moment. Get the basics before rejecting them and pursuing whatever Avant Guard. Study the masters.
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It sounds like you want to be thought of as funny. Maybe you associate that with be fun instead of boring as a friend. Think first of the type of humor that makes you laugh most, thats likely the one you'll be most comfortable using. My favorite humor that makes me laugh hardest is the play on words type. For example, a coworker yesterday mentioned they used to live in a studio so small that they put their bed in the closet to have more room for the general living area. the "in the closet' part of that story made me think of gay people who haven't come out of the closet as another use of the phrase. So i said, "So, if you slept in late you could say 'I haven't come out of the closet yet, right?" And everyone who heard it laughed.
When I was younger and very shy, I thought if I could be funny, I'd be more popular. So I tried too hard to be funny and wasn't at all. However in later years as I stopped worrying about whether i was funny or not, I would make comments at work, not meaning to be funny at all and all my coworkers starting laughing and I had to ask what was so funny. I thought I missed hearing a good joke and didn't realize til they said so, they were laughing at what I said.
I think your biggest problem will be trying to hard and focusing too much on it. But reading about styles of humor might be helpful if you still wish to work at it. Heres a couple links to lists of types of humor with descriptions of it.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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My First question is; Why do you feel you have to be funny all the time. DO you feel you have to be the class clown to have friends and get attention?
Being the class clown is not really the way to make friends. Real friends do not use friends for their own special interest. People who keep the class clown around are generally doing just that. They are not truly friends.
I would suggest you just try and be you. Somewhere underneath all that clowning is a real person who has a lot to offer as a friend and a companion and yes even as a lover. If you cover these great assets up by clowning no one will ever see them. Worst of all it will be both yours and their loss.
If you have trouble making friends then try this. Sit down and make a list. Yes write down all the things you like to do. Whatever it is; Camping, fishing, hiking, bike riding, bowling, reading whatever. Then look at the list and number them in order of preference.
Take the top 5 and look for clubs that deal with those interests. Because these clubs have similar interests as you do. You don't have to be the class clown to get anyone's attention. You should be able to offer or join in on conversations. Doing so will allow people to see the real you and that is how you make friends.
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