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How can I overcome social anxiety when visiting a college campus alone?
Long story short, I'm going alone to visit a college that I plan to start attending in the Spring. I originally planned to bring a boy I was dating, but that didn't work out so he won't be going. Then I planned to bring one of my female friends with me, but she can't get anybody to watch her baby and he's too young to bring outside the home. I also invited another boy I'm dating now, but he doesn't want to go because it's too early in the morning.
I don't want to bring either of my parents because I feel like that would make me look immature. I also don't want them embarrassing me or complaining about something (which I know they would).
The thing is, I get somewhat bad social anxiety when I go alone to somewhere unfamiliar and full of people and I don't want to look awkward and wind up walking around and getting lost.
I really don't want to go alone especially because it's an all day event that includes two meals and a campus tour. I know if I go alone I'm going to get really scared and want to leave.
What should I do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Don't give up on yourself so quickly!
Is it possible that with your anxiety you will want to leave? Ofcourse! But you have to try. you may be surprised at what you can accomplish! and if you end up leaving so what!
Maybe this is a sign that you need to do this on your own.
Think about it.. if you are planning on attending this college it will be alone.
If the college makes you feel uneasy .... maybe it's not the place for you and you can look at some other schools.
and try to get out of your own head
It's a completely different experience doing something like this alone. There isn't any one around to influence any of your thoughts or opinions and you will get a real sense on whether this is the place for you.
Yes your plans fell through but YOU will be making the choice to take this tour alone.
It's just a building with some people showing you around that's all. :)
I hope you decide to go I think you will like the mini vacation you will be getting from your normal surroundings.
Good luck with whatever you decide!! xx
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Its not the college campus only but will be many situations in life that cause you to feel social anxiety. I had a severe case of it in my past but I got over it with self treatment. My treatment was specific to the type of fear I had. I don't know if you have several different anxieties operating at the same time, but here's one theory that seems to apply.
Exposure theory: Here, avoidance is the cause of anxiety. A person remains anxious as long as they avoid that which they fear (ie heights, germs, etc) If shy, you avoid people. In this theory, the moment you stop avoiding but face the things you fear most, you'll defeat your fears.
In my case I had a fear of people, of them talking to me or looking at me, staring at me, I would shake with fear and want to just hide or be as unnoticeable as possible. In your case, you dont feel confident enough to be alone and wanting someone along with you where ever you go, feels like a security measure. They are there, in case something happens so you don't have to deal with it yourself. So by taking someone along, you'd be able to avoid learning how to get beyond this fear. If no one can go, I'd say its the universe saying something to you, that its time. However if you have no wish to learn to be self confident and get over your anxiety yet, not ready to do whatever it takes to get beyond it, no matter how scary and unsettling it feels initially, then you are not ready. You must really want to become self assured and lose your anxieties before you can be helped. YOu'd need to see a professional to get the proper treatment to help you over it. Treatment will include exposure to that which you fear. The thing about fears and anxieties, they are a lot like bullies. Once you face them, they run away with their tail between their legs never to come bother you again.
I want you to read a book shock full of stories of people like you and their own anxieties and how the Dr. who wrote the self help book went on outings with patients in some cases so that they were placed in situations, which for them were scary.
The book is titled, "When Anxiety Attacks" and the author is psychologist Dr. David D. Burns.
THe book is meant to give you hope that there is a natural way to get over your anxieties. Though a self-help book, it is rather complicated and in depth and I found I wasn't even able to pick up on some of the subtle differences of what his example patients suffered from or needed in therapy so beleive me, it takes a 2nd persons observation and insight, that of a professional, trained in CBT.
THat would be cognitive behavioral therapy and if you get started right away on that, I also fairly sure you could be attending that campus tour on your own without any anxieties. That is how quickly and easily many people are cured with this therapy. I was.
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You will be attending this school in the spring. Will you be attending alone or do you have friends presently attending that you go be with?
The reason for this question is simple. If you will be attending in the fall and do not have anyone to be with. Then this trip will be a test to see if you can actually get there, do what has to be done or planned and return home without having a panic attack.
What I know about panic attack is for the most part they are fear of the unknown. Fear that someone will say something and you will not know how to respond. Fear of the unfamiliar as well.
My panic attack start with a strange form of claustrophobia. I can be in a room full of people and not have a problem. But if the room is overheated I can have a panic attack. If the room is small and windowless I can have a panic attack.
Since I too have panic attacks I am familiar with what you may be facing. One thing I have learned is as I have shown you. Is to know the triggers of my attacks. Social anxiety is a panic attack. You do exist on a daily basis within social circles. Think about where you are and what you are doing when these attach occur. Knowing exactly what triggers the attacks can help you avoid them.
If these attacks are severe enough you may want to talk with a therapist who can help you with ways to deal with them far better than I can.
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