|
Not over my ex?
I'm 25 and my ex and I were together for 4 years. I absolutely loved him. I thought he was going to be my husband one day.
After 4 years he completely broke my heart. He said it was because he just didn't love me anymore and the feelings weren't there. I tried everything and he just couldn't get his feelings back. But in reality I found out he was interested in another girl. He started dating this girl 3 days after he broke up with me. I had a weird feeling about her towards the end of our relationship but he would always deny it. When he broke up with me I asked if it was because of her and he denied it again. So he blatantly lied to my face after I thought I could trust him. When I confronted him about it he shoved me to the ground and I haven't talk to him since.
4 months later now I've found a new guy I've been dating. He's wonderful - so good to me. But I just still occasionally think about my ex. I have times where I'm so mad at him that I hate him and other times I'm just sad. We have no contact at all. I just feel kind of guilty that he still pops up in my mind when I have this wonderful guy whose faithful and would do anything for me.
Should I feel guilty? How can I stop thinking about him? :/
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I think there is no way to forget someone you cared about so much. I'm in a similar situation as you. I can't help but think about this guy I was madly in love with and like you, he also blatantly disappeared from my life because of another girl.
It's been a few years now but those sentimental feelings remain.
I believe that's normal. Nothing will ever erase sentiments like that. Feeling nostalgic is nothing to be guilty about. The only thing is that those memories should not dictate your present lifestyle.
If the guilt is due to this current relationship you're in, its probably a sign that you're not truly into this new man as much as he is into you. Don't be in a relationship because he's nice to you and you're too polite to break his heart. That's clearly unfair to the both of you.
The best way to think of old memories less frequently is to make new ones. I don't mean go out and date more people. Those kind of memories aren't ones to be proud of. Go out and find adventure on your own or with your family and friends!!!
Travel, learn new hobbies, play outdoor games with your pals, listen to new music or read new books. Make time for the things that you enjoy. :)
God has made a beautiful world for us to appreciate and enjoy. Take in nature and lasting company; do something interesting for yourself each day.
When the time for you to find a man you love comes, it'll just happen without you having to work it out in your mind like a math problem. But in order to increase your chances, live a good life and have beautiful experiences that will not be ruined by an awkward relationship or something.
Have yourself some smart fun, girl! ;)
]
No you have no reason to feel guilty. Breaking up of any relationship can be traumatic. This was a relationship you had invested 4 years of your life in and thought was headed for a lifetime commitment. It is going to hurt when a relationship of this long breaks up and you are going to grieve over it for a time and there will be times when a certain smell or maybe a special place will bring back a memory. This is all quite normal.
The one thing I will caution you over is your current relationship. While it is great you found someone who loves you and you love him. It is very possible this is a rebound relationship so please be very careful with giving this man your heart and soul until you are absolutely sure this is for real and not a lifeboat for your injured feelings.
My hope is for you that the relationship is real. I would not want to see another letter from you asking where you went wrong. Rebound relationships happen and they feel very real. All I ask is you take the time make sure that it is real so you do not get hurt again. Your only 25 you have plenty of time to make sure he is the one.
]
More Questions: |