Does this sum up what is going on, or did I miss something?
(This was originally posted in response to a question about why most people here are 13 year old females.)
Hello there,
I have been trying my best to figure that one out...
Have you noticed that girls will tell their dads things that they simply can NOT bring themselves to talk to their mother about? Same thing goes for boys. There is a definate lack of Dad type creatures around these days. Failing to have that person to bounce things off of, they ask their peers.
Why? Because, quite frankly, when you are 13, practically everyone you know well enough to ask advice. Boys and girls all the same.
The difference comes in that a boy can ask his mother: "Hey Mom, what can I do to impress this girl." Mom is a girl, so she knows the answer usually. Don't EVER ask your mother what a boy likes... :-)
A boy at 13 has a number of people around of the male type, varying in ages, which he can ask most everything he would ask a dad if he were there. Pastor/teacher/martial arts instructor/mechanic/barber, etc.
We wouldn't think twice about asking someone we hardly know if we should get roses or chocolate, do we look alright, etc.
People say men don't ask for advice... That's bull. You see, we do. We will ask, get the answer and move on. I remember hearing girls talk about what their friend said they should do, and their friend's friend said this and that and the other.
Men, are very simple in such respects. We don't intentionally ask people we know will give bad advice. If we have a matter of life experience, we like to go to people who have already lived through a few more things than we have. For example: Back when I was 12, I wouldn't go seeking investment or job advice from someone 13. Try 50+ They have already done all the career stuff and if they did it right you get good advice. If however they did it wrong, you get to find out what job you do NOT want to get into. By asking our elders these things we learn something either way.
Today we all have reduced opportunities. When you are little today, you can't just hang out with adults... The news people have everyone convinced that every adult is a predator unless they are your parent. Guess what? The last figures I saw indicated that better than 80% of all child sexual abuse is committed by one or both parents.
What effect has this had? When I was about 6 my Dad went to pick up something from an equipment yard. I went with him and noticed a guy rebuilding an engine. Dad went into the office to pay, so I wandered over and started bugging this guy. By the time Dad came out, I was learning how to use a torque wrench. (The thing you use to make sure all the bolts on something are tight enough, but not too tight.)
Dad asked the guy if I was bothering him. He said not at all, so Dad left me there to learn for about 3 hours. I got a lot of that. Dad was a fair judge of character.
Now, there usually isn't a dad at all. :-( Everyone is so scared of things that kids never get a chance to talk to many people wiser than themselves.
We have ended up in a place where the only place to get advice is from our peers. People your own age usually give bad advice about almost everything. Boys, girls it doesn't matter.
Right now, on this board, there is a 13 year old female asking what she needs to do to start having sex. There are a few people who asked her to think twice, but those in her age range were less concerned with her mental health, and more concerned she get an appropriate condom.
A 14 year old, said something like "Don't wait till you get old like me, get your groove on before you get too old"
BAD ADVICE! Down! Bad Advice, no biscuit!
Adults in general aren't out to get you. It's a fact. If your Mom gives you bad advice, it isn't because she is trying to ruin your life... It is because she THINKS WHAT SHE IS TELLING YOU IS RIGHT. It doesn't make it right. Not at all. Same thing for Dads. (Though I mostly see complaints about mothers here.)
When my parents knew I was old enough to think for myself is NOT when I said I was. It was after I proved it. I thought something my parents said was unreasonable. My dad told me to put it in writing. I did my own thinking on why I felt that way. Then I started researching the idea. What I found out was that my parents were right about that. I wrote it out and handed it over. It was after that that my parents KNEW that if I looked into things for myself I would come to the right conclusion. Even if I didn't like it.
Short version: You want to be treated like a thinking, well read, intelligent and wise adult? Act like one.
Adult life is a lot easier when we spend our youth listening and learning everything we can to make smart choices.
Here's another thought: Travel. Out of this country. See how the rest of the world lives. Most people buy clothes because they are durable, not because they are "IN" (for about a week.) Guaranteed to open your mind to a whole new way of thinking.
Over a quarter million people died in the recent Tsunami... The survivors have NO PLACE at all to call home. And the current threads here are: "Should I wear a thong?" "Where do I get Like size 00 clothes, that are, like, in?" I like this boy...girl, etc."
The best thing that ever happened to me was seeing that almost everything I had been told to believe was important: Cars, clothes, trends, music, hair, team choice, etc. was completely and totally meaningless when you look at the big picture. I would have been right here asking the same kinda stuff(boy version of course) had I not had that opportunity.
Ok, this became a rant. Not against 13 year old girls. A rant against what our society tells 13 year old girls and boys is important for them to be worrying about.
Back to the topic of WHY:
Girls, let me ask you a question: How many of your girlfriends did you tell about this site?
Now tell me how many boys you told about it? Did you tell them there was a guy with 20+ years of computer experience they could ask questions for free? (I normally charge $75.00 per hour in my shop.) Did you tell them there was a place to ask questions about cars and trucks? How about model rockets? R/C cars? Paintball? Airsoft guns? Model building? Sports? Weight training? Hunting? CB radios? Computer hardware/software/networking? Car stereo? Hydraulics? Truck driving scools?
Have you told a single boy you know about any of the things that HE might be interested in?
Do I see one hand raised? Ok, so you get a boy in here and he asks a question. Wonderful! What do most of the girls do? Make fun of him, laugh at him, tell him he is stupid or he would already know and CORRECT HIS SPELLING! I am almost to the point where I have looked at every question on this site. I saw a lot of that on my way through.
What do I do when someone asks a question I don't know the answer to... I research it and post links to appropriate resources. When was the last time you did that for a question you couldn't answer? Saying something "cute" or mean as hell does not encourage the participation of teen boys. Teen boys are actually quite insecure about opening themselves up to be called stupid, or made fun of. They don't handle it well at all. It just guts them and they are never quite the same.
Here is something to consider: You have this guy, who you really like. You set up a date. You go out and buy the BEST outfit on earth. Your Mom likes this guy, so she gives you her credit card, sends you to get hair and makeup done in the BEST place in the city.
So far so good? Ok, now he shows up to take you out, and when you open the door, he bursts out laughing! Pointing and LAUGHING AT YOU!
Your new duds may be stylish, and the hair may be the latest french design but to him it is hilarious. He doesn't know anything about french fashion, or Neiman Marcus so to him you look like a hooker in a clown suit.
How BAD would you feel? Would anything ever make you COMPLETELY whole again after something like that?
Same thing if this site offers to answer questions and then the people here ridicule and belittle the askers. Boys minds work different than girls. It isn't a bad thing, it is just they way we are wired.
I got an email from someone after I answered their question. They said they quit using the site because the response they got to a very well thought out question was: "F***ing Dumb*SS!"
I reported another place this person used the same abusive response, using the abuse report feature, and this was the response:
"Moderator Response
Submitted: by FrEe2bMe
Reponse: While K**************'s response was not appropriate, if you look at their over all rating it is only a 2.21. That is why there is now a threshold where you can set who you want to recive answers from Under Profile Setting adjust it so you only recieve answers from people like 4 or higher or whatever your comfortable with. :)"
This guy, yes GUY, 15 years old didn't know that, so he will never be back.
Did anyone step up to tell this person off? Did anyone else report it? Do you even know where the abuse link is?
It is up to the majority here to decide if this is going to be Advivenators.com or Abusenators.com
Since the majority here are 13 year old girls, I ask you: Which will it be?
DangerNerd
I'm a 13 year old girl but I think I'm better than most considering I type correctly. I see what you're getting at and I'm with you all the way.
[view]
Hey! I've been a mod for a bit now and I noticed that you are rating so many questions!! I'm averaging like 500 and I'm pretty sure I'm rating everything that shows up...how do you manage to find so many to rate?
No worries if you don't want to give away your secret :P
xoxo
Basically, I come on everyday and rate all of the new questions. It's not really a secret, I just go through them all and rate. If that's what you're doing then I don't know how I could be rating more than you. It doesn't really matter if you rate more than other people anyway, it isn't a competition.
[view]
thongs are like really in and i was wondering if anyone who has used one can give my pros and cons of wearing them since at this rate i'll never where one myself
First, I'm going to repeat what other people said, you shouldn't wear them just because they are 'in'. You should only wear them if you are comfortable with it, not because everyone else is. Thongs are good mainly because they stop your pantyline from showing and this is the main pro. Some people find them more comfortable than normal underwear but it's a matter of opinion. Unfortunatly, there are also many cons to wearing them. They can give you vaginal infections because of the bacteria the string will be carrying from your ass which isn't too nice. It also takes a while to get used to them, at first it will just feel like you have a permanent wedgie. If people, especially girls, see that you're wearing one then you will probably get labelled as a 'slut'. Another issue with them is that if you use pads then you wont be able to wear a thong on your period. There are some pads designed especially for thongs but they are a very low absorbancy and aren't very good. Also, if you get your period unexpectedly while you're wearing a thong then it will almost definitely run down your leg. It's not very nice but unfortunatly, it happens. Depite the fact that there are a lot less pros than cons to wearing one, many girls choose them over normal underwear. It really is up to you, most people wont be looking at your underwear anyway.
[view]
My question is, why does it seem like an overwhelming amount of the advisors on this web site are teenage girls? I'm serious about this. Is it because they have more time on their hands, have a stronger feeling of needing to give advice, need more advice.etc.etc? What do you think the reason is?
It is probably because most teenage girls have problems. Think about it, periods, boyfriends, friends, clothes, make up, hair, family, all the average stuff. Adults have problems too but younger people, especially girls, love to tell people their problems. If something goes wrong, they love nothing more than to share it with everyone. They often spend more time on the computer and have a lot of time too but the main thing is that they think they know everything and love to post their problems. I should know...guess what, I'm a teenage girl.
[view]
is it true that you cant use tampons until you had your period for a year?
Some people say it's best to wait a year but you can start using them whenever you like. I started using them after about six months, it's fine.
[view]
how do u add favorite columnists to your column?
On everyone's column there is some kind of link saying 'add as favourite' or 'add as friend.' All you need to do is click on that link and they will be added.
[view]
1. I was wondering if it was normal for a 15 year old(3 months away form being 16) not to have her period?
2. Is it possible for someone not to get their period at all in a a lifetime?
1. Yes, that's completely normal. Some people don't start until their early twenties. If you haven't started your period by the time you are 16 then you have something known as Primary Amenorrhoea. This isn't a serious condition or anything, it's just a term. Primary Amenorrhoea is caused by many things including having an eating disorder, intense sport, obesity, drugs such as anti depressants and serious illness. There is no treatment for Primary Amenorrhoea, you just have to wait until your period comes.
2. There is a condition called Turners Syndrome. This is when a woman is born with only on X chromosome. Turners Syndrome means that the woman has no ovaries so menstruation cannot take place.
I did some reasearch to find out that information so I'm pretty sure it's accurate.
[view]
My eye makeup seems to get all greasy and crappy looking after a while. Is my face oily? What do I do to prevent this?
I can't tell you if you skin is oily or not without seeing it but it doesn't matter if it is. There are many products such as face washes and make up removers that are specially designed for oily skin. It might be a good idea to try some. As for your make up, try using powder as it reduces shininess.
[view]
what is the difference between foundation, concealer, and powder. and are u supposed to use all three at once (i have acne) and i rate 5's
Foundation is a cream like substance that you use as a base to the rest of your make up. You choose one that matches your skin tone. Concealer is used to hide blemishes and spots, it also matches your skin tone. Powder is used to prevent shininess, set your base or just as a finishing touch. It can be worn with or without foundation underneath and you can either use translucent or a colour that matches your skin. If you wanted to use full make up then yes, you would use all of them at once but you probably wont need to until you are older and your skin starts to age. As you have acne, it probably wouldn't help to use all three but if you do then make sure you remove all of it every night.
[view]
i wanna get a page backround for my advice column. any ideas on which one to get? also.... um... how do i put it on the column?thanx!
Advicenators do their own backgrounds. If you click on 'Page Backgrounds' which is on the left near the bottom, you will find quite a big selection on backgrounds. Find a background you like then click on 'Column Settings'. There is a box that says 'Page background image url.' Copy and paste the code for your selected background into that box then click 'Save Settings.' If you want a background that isn't on Advicenators you need to get the code for it from the site it's on and put it in the same box as before. If you just have an image you want to be turned into a background then you need to find an image host such as http://www.photobucket.com. Upload your image onto that and get the url to put in the background image url box.
[view]
I hae to close friends that are pregnant. Unfortunantly one was raped and the other one was by her boyfriend. They are both considering abortion. Why is it that people think it is all right for my friend who was raped to get an abotion and the other one isn't. Both are still killing and innocent child...Please help me understand the difference!!
People probably think this because the friend who was raped could suffer a lot by having this child. Everytime she looks at it, she will have horrible memories of her rapist and this could cause her serious pyschological damage. She will always remember the rape but having this baby will probably make it worse. Your other friend has a boyfriend and could probably bring up the baby in a stable family. Personally I am for abortion because it can ruin your life if you have an unplanned pregnancy. They are not killing a child because at the stages in the pregnancy where you can have an abortion it wont have formed into a child yet.
[view]
The country that I live in is debating the Death Penalty. I Do not understand the understanding that the death penalty is ok. You are killing someone still aren't you? I realize that the people scentenced are usually murderers and other things along that line. I just want to know both sides of the story. I looked it up on Google and it is not what i am looking for. I want opinions on BOTH side.
The death penalty is pointless and hypocritical. You said it yourself, they are usually murderers and this is supposed to be punishment. Killing someone because they killed someone else is just pointless. No matter what someone has done, they still deserve to live, a life sentence in prison is better. The death penalty is actually punishing the criminal's family more. They are the people who will have to deal with the grief of losing them in these circumstances. Having said that, the death penalty makes sure that people who have done serious crimes aren't able to commit any more. That is the only argument I know in favour of the death penalty. I feel very strongly about this and I think it is wrong. I don't know how the executioners sleep at night.
[view]
ok well whenever i go to the bathroom, i look at my underwear and theres this like clear slimy gooey discharge and i havent gotten my period yet ... what is this ? im 13/f HELP!
It's called discharge. About two years before girls start their period they start to get it and it is completely normal, you will get it for most of your life, even after you start your period. It's just the vagina's way of keeping itself clean. If you get heavy discharge or you want to feel fresher then you can use a pantyliner which just sits in your underwear and keeps you drier and fresher.
[view]
does sex always hurt your first time? like.. how bad? and do you bleed? and uh how much? thanks
I can't tell from personal experience but I can tell you everything I know about it.
Sex doesn't always hurt the first time. Usually people who have used tampons or done a lot of sport wont feel as much pain as their hymen is likely to be already broken. If you do feel any pain I don't think it is that bad, probably just a sharp short lived pain. You might want to ask someone else about that though, I'm not entirely sure. You may bleed but like I said, it depends on whether your hymen is already broken. I'm not too sure on how much, I don't think it is a lot.
I hope that was of some help to you, sorry I couldn't give you more definate answers.
[view]
I'm a 14-year-old girl. As I was leaving school the other day, I was walking with a casual male friend. As we were talking, he developed a
very large, very obvious erection. I was so embarrassed for him! I pretended not to notice, and didn't say anything, but he seemed
mortified, and left in a hurry. What should I have done?
It's perfectly natural for him to have acted that way, it was an embarassing situation for him. You acted in exactly the right way, you didn't make a fuss or make fun of him, just pretended not to notice and that was good. If it happens again, act the same way and hopefully he wont get so embarassed.
[view]
Are ghosts real? only if you know the answer then answer my question. only if you're sure.
No one is 100% sure whether ghosts are real or not, there is a lot of evidence to suggest they are but at the end of the day, it's all a matter of opinion. Personally I think that they do exist in some way or another because there has been so many reported sightings and evidence. No one knows for definate whether they do or not.
[view]
well i havnt been on my period in like a month mostly more then a month..ive already skipped once i havnt did nething..soo what could be wrong how many times can you skip your period please i need some advice
There are a lot of reasons why you could have skipped your period. The obvious is that you could be pregnant but if you haven't had sex-or come into contact with sperm in any sexual acivity-then this is impossible. In the first one or two years of starting your period it is common for them to be irregular, they will probably even out after a while if this is the case. Some people naturally have irregular periods. It doesn't matter, it might just be a little inconvient as you can't predict when it will come. Another reason why you might have skipped a few is that you have been under extra stress or strain recently, this is common if you are doing exams or extra work. If you do a lot of sport then you can also skip periods, it's nothing to worry about but if you wanted to have a baby then you would have to do less sport for a while to get your period going again. If you are still worried then you can always go and see your doctor for extra advice but there is probably absolutely nothing wrong.
[view]
Hey guys and gals, i was wondering if someone would be considered anorexic if they only ate once a day, or even nothing all day and maybe once the next?
Thanks
They wouldn't be considered anorexic but they would be eating too little. You don't just get anorexia from missing a few meals, anorexia is a serious disorder that affects your mental health as well as physical. If they have been eating like this for a long period of time then they could have an eating disorder and should go to a doctor but if they only did this once then it probably isn't anything too serious. Having said this, you shouldn't be eating that little.
[view]
As a seventeen year old female who is oober tired of stupid highschool guys and would like to move on to more mature ones... how old is too old for me?
I think that anything above the ages of twenty or twenty-one is too old. Technically it would be illegal for them to be in a sexual relationship with you anyway because you are under the age of eighteen. Wait until you are eighteen before you start dating anyone above twenty-one.
[view]
Lately, I have this dark brown discharge, and I dont know what is. Is it my period? I was always under the impression that it wouldn't look like that.
Sometimes about a month or so before you actually start your period you will get a brownish coloured discharge. This could be it or it could be your period, see how it goes, you might want to wear a pantyliner because your period will probably come properly soon.
[view]
|
