so lately i have been thinking that im fat and when i eat i feel real bad. i havent really ate anything in the past 2 days and i want to go anorexic. i know theirs a better way to lose weight then that. what should i eat and what exercises should i do and for how long?
right now i do 25 sit ups in the morning, then after i eat dinner, usually from 6-7 i ride the gazelle for 30 minutes and then i get on the bike and go 8 miles. after that i do 25 situps. then right before i go to bed i do 30 sit ups. is this enough?
One does not " go aneorexic", aneorexia is a serious mental disorder which one cannot call up at will. That said,if you try hard enough, your perspective on food can become badly skewed(trust me, it happened to me and was no fun for me, my friends or family).
It is impossible to tell from your question whether you are overweight or not, from the way you write, I suspect you are not. Google "body mass index" or "amifat" to find out the correct weight for your height and build. As for excercise, try taking up track or a team sport that you really enjoy. I would advise against dance for the time being, as it is an unfortunate fact that many dancers feel pressured into developing unhealthy and neurotic relationships with food, if not full-blown eating disorders. The sit ups are not a bad idea, as long as you don't become obsessive about misssing a session or wear yourself out trying to do an unrealistic number per day. Good luck.
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i have asked this before.
so my boyfreind asked me out.
and now basicly all he wants from me is sex.
it makes me really sad and dissapointed...
please help.
and dont say break up with him.
you guys dont know me.
i like him alot..
and if i dont have sex with him he might break up with me.
i seriously like him though.
i rate
Listen to protossc! As on many occasions, he tells it like it is. But if you want a woman's perspective, just listen to me. I too once had a selfish and immature boyfriend whodid nothing but wail because I wouldn't give it up. I stuck to my guns; he dumped me for another girl whom he promplty inpreganted, and left her quite literally holding the baby. Sure, I was upset when he dumped me, but looking back, that was more hurt pride than any nobler emotion, and boy am I glad that it wasn't me that got pregnant by him. There are loads of nice men in the world- go and find one of them and leave the losers to the lost causes. Good Luck!
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For Christmas I'm looking for some good books! I'm 14 years old and I love real life diary books. I love those books when after your done reading them, your like "I dont' want it to end!". Anybody have any good suggestions. ? thanks
I'm sure that you are already familiar with the Diary of Anne Frank, as it is the ultimate real life diary-if not, then that would be an obvious and excellent place to start. Another and very funny fictional diary series is Adrian Mole(Diary of, Growing Pains of et. al). These are by a British author called Sue Townsend and might or might not be in print in the States. If not, then Amazon or abe books will be able to order youa copy of any or all of the books in the series. Happy reading!
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Can you get accepted to a college, and wait a year before youa ctually go?
is it a good idea to do that? i have heard it is a good idea, and it isnt, but i would like to know what your opinions are. thank you
I'm British, so I'm not exactly sure what the situation is in the U.S., but I would be quite surprised if it was not also possible to take a 'gap year' as we call it here in Blighty. I would strongly advise you to take one- I didn't , and I heartily regret my decision. I would also advise doing some kind of paid work, as independently as possible, as it will help you to buid the people skills which are so neccesary to enjoy university. Good luck!
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I am a girl age 15.
Few days back in school , when we were near basketball courts , I tried to pick my key chain from the floor, I could not control myself and farted loudly. It was a sudden incident. Six boys & girls were there all noted it and laughed, I was very much embarrassed and ran away from there. I am still upset. I told this to my elder sis, her first response was also a laugh. She tried to convince me that its natural and can happen with any body, she told me that once this was happened to her female teacher also. But I am still feeling guilt. Please advice me.
Don't worry! That exact same thing happened to me once, when I was about twelve. I also wanted to die of embarrasment, and was po'd with the people who laughed at me. In a few days, however, I, too saw the funny side. Hope that helped!
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My brother & I are close (He's 21, I'm 17) His guy friends are my friends. Since I'm 4 years younger, I'll always have the label of his little sister to all the guys. I've started to really like his best friend and we always flirt/play around. I don't act like I'm this little schoolgirl with a crush & his best friend treats me as if I'm at his level. My brother would approve if a relationship started. How do I get rid of that label as being the untouchable 'little' sister?
You have two options:
1. Get your brother to approach his friend. Like fifth grade, I hear you wail. Not so. When I was twenty, I got my best friend(also twenty) to approach her brother, who was a couple years older, on my behalf. Even though the relationship didn't last, it was still one of the best I ever had.
2.The second (and in some many ways this is better than the first)way is to approach the guy yourself. That method is both scarier and more satisfying than the first, because it means that you are fully in control. it sound as if you guys have every chance, so I say go for it!
P.S. A word of warning; whether you choose option one or two, do discuss it thouroughly with your brother first(I know you already have his approval) because this guy is his friend, and if things go wrong between you guys, you don't want anything to happen to their friendship. Good Luck!
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This a strange sort of etiquette question that has been bothering me from a while now…
I have a close friend and we live in a large metropolitan city. Whenever we are walking on the street she will do absolutely anything to walk as far away as possible from a homeless person. This really grates my nerves.
If we are walking side by side she will move all the way over to the curb, even if it means crossing in front of me in order to be 6 or 7 feet away from the homeless person (and a few feet any from me as well, since I continue to walk in a straight line). She will move back to me after they are a few feet behind us. I find this unbearably rude and downright heart breaking. She often tries to convince me too cross the street if she can see a person down the road on our side.
Now if they were yelling and screaming I would understand, but these are unfortunate souls who are simply huddled against buildings for warmth.
This is really upsetting me but some of my friends say it is just her irrational fear and I should respect it. But it makes me not want to go out with her, as we live in the core and pretty much walk everywhere. Am I wrong to be upset and/or how can I make her stop this?
I don't think that you are wrong to be upset, but I think that you should go a little carefully on how you tell her. I am a little like your friend: in Britain we have a magazine sold by homeless people- I buy one every week, then spend the rest of the week trying to dodge the other sellers!
Seriously though, just say gently to her that you think it unnecessary to take such drastic means-you could even, if she really bugs you, shadow her as she does her wild swoop through the streets-that would be funny, yet probably piss her off enough to make her ask you why you do it. Take the discussion on from there....
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i weigh 200 pounds...and i'm 15 and a girl is that fat? ((this is serious))
please help♥
i dont want advice on how to lose the wieght, cause i didnt ask for that advice.i just want to know if that is seriously overweight.
Your question doesn't give your height and build, so it is a little difficult to tell, but I would say that at 200 pounds you are probably overweight. Google "body mass index" where you will be directed to a chart which tells you what you should weigh for your height and build.
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I have been in love with this guy i know for almost two years. He knows i love him but i'm not sure how he feels about me. while i am completely comfortable simply asking him how he feels, it is hard to get him on his own to talk to and i also don't want to put him on the spot or make him feel uncomfortable, which i'm sorta afraid i already do because i've never exactly hidden how i feel about him. Any ideas?
I'm afraid that I have bad news for you. You say that he knows of your feelings for him, but you are unsure of his for you. If he returned your affection, you would know about it. Simple as that.
I know that sounds harsh,but I speak from experience. I also spent two years yearning after an unavailable man, endlessly searching the time we spent together for signs of a change of heart. Needless to say, such a change never occured, and the sad part is, in most cases it never will. The fact that this man can still be friends with you despite the discrepancy in your level of affection shows what a strong friendship you have:use that friendship and the capacity for affection it has developed in you as a springboard from which you can launch yourself into another and less one-sided romance. Good luck!
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Ok I was planning to go to school about an hour away from my girlfriend, but in a last minute effort I decided to stay at home and go to school with her. I was transferring to play ball and this is my second year sitting out. I feel like I'm missing something. I can go without thinking about playing, but sometimes I think about what it would be like to be on my team and what would it be like to play college basketball. My question is simple, Should I get in contact with my coach and try to go away? I really don't want to leave her, but I miss ball so much. We just got back together after we broke up for about 3 weeks. I don't want to jeopardize anything right now. I really don't know what to do...
While I can understand your confusion at this situation, I think that your dilemna is false. There is no real question, is there, of jeopardizing the relationship by moving to a school just an hour away? Of course I don't know for certain, but I would have thought that a small distance in a country the size of the U.S. I have two friends who go to college in Iowa, one in Ames and one in Cedar falls(a drive of about 2.5 hours). They love each other devotedly and spend one weekend at each town, plus the occasional visit during the week.
I can understand , however, that your situation is different:you feel insecure because you recently had a split. I can assure you, though, that if your girlfriend really cares about you she'll understand how important your sport is to you. Discuss the situation with her-it might even be an idea to show her your question. Remember that you aren't making a choice between ball and your relationship:you can easily have them both. Good luck! Lucretiax.
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If you where a bra to bed do your boobs shrink?
Not to make fun of you, but your question made me smile. No, nothing you can do to your breasts short of surgery will make them either grow or shrink. I should know, I always wear a sports bra to bed-more comfortable that way :-). Lx.
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theres this guy i like who i made out with when me n him werent even goin out but now he likes this other girl and they made out(but there not going out) like a day after he made out with me ...is there any way to win back his attention
There might be ways that you could win back his attention(in short, by acting cool and unconcerned, not chasing him,and spending lots of time around other friends, especially the boys). However, I think that you should ask yourself what you like so much about him.He sounds like a bit of a flirt, and ultimately any joy you had with him would be short lived.(Either that, or he genuinely prefers the other girl, in which case is is also not worth your time). My advice is to try to forget him and move on.Lucretiax.
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I love helping people, and when I say that, I mean the kind of "giving advice" kind of help. I know I can be a psychologist, but are there any other options? I don't want to be a psychiatrist, so please don't suggest that. Thank you!
You could think about becoming a psychotherapist, which is, roughly speaking,halfway between being a psychologist and a psychiatrist. Unlike psychiatrists, phsycotherapists do not require a medical degree. They have however more contact with patients than psychologists who are really academics. Alternatively, you could try life coaching. Good luck!
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OK so Last year, I went to homecoming and no one asked me to dance. Everytime there was a slow dance, I always stood off to myself. I felt embaressed/left out/ stupid..so I don't know if I should go to homecoming thisyear. All my friends are popular and they're like "come! it'd be fun" but I NEVER have a dance partner..and I've been to alot of dances. What should I do??
I feel your pain. When I was in highschool, I had exactly the same problem that you do. My solution was not to go another time, which I felt at the time was the best, nay the only, way to deal with feeling out in the cold, miserable and unpopular. My question to you is- how far are you truly unpopular, and how far are you self isolating? Please don't take offense- I speak from experience, for I was a true self isolator, harshly rebuffing those who made friendly overtures and alienating people who would have been my friends.
I'm not saying that you're the same as me- it could be that you are genuinely and unjustly overlooked, in which case it's time to take your friends gently to task. If they truly care about and value you, they won't let you sit on the sidelines while they go off and enjoy themselves(indeed if they habitually do this, then they're no friends of yours). I know it's embarrasing to ask for help in social situations, and nowhere does the law of the jungle more clearly and crudely operate than at a dance. Still, it's one way of discovering who your true friends are. If, however, you really don't fancy going, don't! Wait until you get to university, which is where most people make the friends who will last them the rest of their life. The dances there tend to be more fun and civilised, places where you get a chance to socialise with those who realy matter to you. Good luck, take care, Lucretia x.
P.S. I see that in your additional info you describe yourself as "pretty ugly". I apologise for the toe-curling cliche, but both ugliness and beauty truly come from within. Or if you find that hard to believe, understand this- even someone who is beautiful can be the most miserable and lonely person in the world if all that their friends and lovers value them for is their exterior , which is constantly subject to wear and damage. Again, wait, give yourself time, and pursue what you love to do, a hobby, anything. Immerse yourself in situations, and others will be drawn to you. Truly, it works.xx
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Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a while..and sure i have kissed him and stuff but i think he is getting bored of always doing the same things with me. i really want to make-out with him but i never have before but i think he wants to make-out with me too. if there anything that guys like? and would he still be interested in me if we did make-out? please help me!! thanks in advance.
I'm sure that you're BOTH feeling that it's time to up the level of contact in the relationship: I can understand however your worries about his losing interest in you if you take it too far- there are so many stories out there about guys who pressure their girlfriends into sex, then sneer at them for being easy. Truth is though, no guy who would behave like that is worth your attention, so you can relax.
To get on to the fun part, what do guys like? Quite simply, the same things that you do yourself. There are too many myths about the physiological and psychological differences between the sexes- in fact, apart from the basic and obvious differences, men and women get off on much the same things , it really depends on the individual. I've always found that rubbing a hand gently but strongly along the inner thighs works wonders, but be warned-he'll want to get laid!(and I'm not sure that you're ready for that yet). A tounge gently inserted into his ear also is good, as are ear caresses in general. Just go with what feels good and try to gague his responses as you go along, which gets easier with practice. A very good guide is The Big Bang by Em and Lo(available in most large bookstores). Enjoy! Lucretia x.
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I am Male 13.
I have liked this girl now for 5 years.We are the best friends you could ever hope for. But she doesn,t like me any more than just being friends. Now for a while I was fine with it, I just kept thinking I dont like her anymore and it worked,m for a while. I went to camp over the summer and she met,What she called a really hot boy. This made me realize I still like her. Now when ever i am around her I hurt. Now heres the question i dont know if i should quit being her friend or talk to her which is really hard when on the subject of me and her. Plus it doesn,t help that i feel stupid for feeling this way, should I feel stupid.
No,you shouldn't feel stupid, but neither should you stop talking to her. Five years is a long time to have been friends with someone, and if you cut that off you would lose her friendship without gaining her love, and that,trust me my friend, would hurt like very hell.
I have no more idea than you whether or not you should approach her in a romantic way. See, here's the deal-it might be that she doesn't, never has and never could see you as anything other than a friend. Or it just might be that you guys have been friends for so long that the thought of you as a boyfriend has merely never occured to her, but that if it did,she would welcome it. You will only discover which of these two scenarios is the true one by(very gently) probing her. Try putting a hand on her arm from time to time, just when you're talking normally. Hug her on parting(if you already do that, tying doing it for a second longer than normal). If she flinches away or seems unhappy with this, then there's your answer. If not, then you still have the problem of her"really hot guy". If they break up, you have the ideal oppurtunity to prove yourself as the man she's been waiting for. (in fact, you should wait until that happens to try the touching and hugging).
Whatever happens, remember that you are, first and foremost, her friend. Keep that whole and try not to let jealousy(which is not a sign of love)get in its way. The best of luck, lucretiax.
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Hey, please no wise-cracks. I really don't want to deal with them right now.
Just a forewarning, this is a long one.
Everything at school used to be so easy. Then I got prescribed an anti-acne drug, and hit puberty - somewhere in there something went missing, went wrong. In the years since then, I've kind of slowly lost my purpose, occasionally it would come back, but I have no real "Drive" anymore. That is mainly what worries me. I have become the model of apathy, all the while worrying about it. I suppose that a lot of psychologists would call it depression, and try to make me "better". They would ask if I had suicidal thoughts and everything. The problem is that I live because I am living. I have suicidal thoughts, that don't MEAN anything, and I don't WANT to die - and I don't even know why, because I don't care about much anymore. I care, and I don't care. I wish I had real "fair-weather" friends, while at the same time I can't break away from my poisonous ones. My schoolwork is important, and I screw myself up worrying about it, when I could get it done so much faster without worrying, and be happy in my spare time. I don't even know why my schoolwork is important anymore, but I don't want to sacrifice it, because I know it would screw up the rest of my life. I play computer games, because I don't want to do homework, and I don't have the will to do anything that I need to do, or want to do. I keep a list of things I want to do when I have spare time, instead of wasting my life playing computer games, but somehow I feel that I will never do them, because I just go back and addict myself to a computer game. I know that I NEED to do things, and that I am screwing up my life, and I still just CAN'T find the discipline to DO anything.
So my question in short;
How do I find my will?
How do I discipline myself to do things that matter?
How do I find the courage to make new friends?
How do I shake that constant feeling of knowing I've been put in to boxes, and nobody knows who I am, and actually find people who will help me to feel happy?
Firstly, the fact that you are even asking advice about your various difficulties is a good sign- you have enough knowledge and even understanding of your problems to articulate them quite clearly.
You'll have heard this cliche a million times before, but teenage years really are difficult:I think that they are best described as an "ever-changing limbo" -you have neither security nor real stimulation(which two,contrary to popular belief, are not at all mutually exclusive-in fact, I believe that the one enhances the other).
I can really sympathise with what you're going through-I too was blissfully happy at high school for one year before everything went haywire, for no apparent cause. Sometimes what happens in life can appear quite arbitary- this is however, an illusion. You can act, and I think you already to some extent know how.I agree with milliethu's advice about the video games-but you need to ensure that you don't repalce them with something equally isolating. This site is actually an excellent place-you should try becoming a columnist!(everyone who logs on has the automatic right to do that). In giving advice , which usually has some relevance to your own experience, you can sometimes discover things about yourself that you hadn't fully realised before. It's also quite addictive, and while you don't make friends as such, you get to feel a certain affinity with your favourite columnists. In fact, internet chatrooms in general are a good place to make friends, and will perhaps build your confidence towards making contacts in the "real" world.
Just keep living from day to day, and you'll be allright. Feel free to drop a personal question in my inbox.
The best of luck, Lucretia.
Thank you for your response. I hope that I didn't patronise you by failing to realise that you were probably already a columnist. I have now also added you to my favourites, not in response to your doing that to me, which I would never do, but because I respect your column which had not previously come to my notice. Lucretiax.
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Last year was my first year at this one school. In one of my classes there was this girl named *Kasey.*
She annoyed me so much. She tried to make me look bad, and make me feel like there was something wrong, or I was doing something the wrong way. But at the same time she tried to buddy up to me. She tried to become my friend and become friends with my bff. My bff doesn't like her(like me) and hse is really getting on my nerves. She is doing it this year to. my bff, her, and i are in the same class. If we do partners she either tries to have me or steal my bff from me and IT IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!
Whatdo I do to get her to bug off? I RATE HIGH!!! :)
I'm afraid that I have bad news for you: I don't think that there's a whole lot you can do about the infuriating "Kasey". I sympathise a lot with your situation-there was a girl much like her in the early years of my highschool, and she drove us all nearly to distraction. By the end of the second year(by which time she had moved schools) all the other class members were in a sort of unspoken pact to avoid her as much as possible, and to ignore her whenever she acted up.
Really, that's all you and your friend can do- you can complain about it to your other friends and suggest that they don't make her welcome in their group: if , that is , you go about in a group of friends. If however it's just you and you and your best friend, perhaps you could go to her, together, and say something like, "We know the sort of games you play, they don't work, and we won't speak to you until you stop". In England, this is called "sending someone to Coventry". Who knows, perhaps if she sees that you mean business, her behaviour might really change. Good luck!
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Hey Everyone! Well in my town school has already started and I gate it w. a passion. lol. I'm trying to get my schedule re- done so I could take a couple of different electives because I hate mine. On top of my school problems my mom decided to bring home a huge brazzilion mastiff. (If ne of you have tht dof you know how big they get) Before my mom bought home this new dog I had a dog of my own- a miniature bishon frise. Now I feel like the new dog is trying to take the place of my other 1 and I HATE my new dog. I know it sounds mean but its true. I'm really stressed out about the new dog I have to live with and school in general. What are some things that I can do to relax and get all the stress out of my system?? Any help about the situation with my dogs would be really appreciated as well. Xo> Thnx in advance.
You poor thing! I really do sympathise, because animals are as important to family life as humans. Personally, I don't think I'd have got through my year at a horrible middle school without Smokey, my beloved cat.
You don't say in your question what happened to your bishon frise,whether s/he died or was rehomed. If the former,(which I assume) then you have to let yourself grieve, just as you would for a person. Allowing yourself this feeling will mean that the pain will eventually evaporate, leaving you with joyful memories of your pet. If the latter, then it is undeniable that your mother behaved badly in imposing her will in the form of the mastif. I hate to say it, but if she habitually does such things she is probabably a fairly major contributor to your stress. You need to start learning to assert yourself in your own home(easier said than done I know) and making emotional space for yourself.
As for the school issue, hang in there with the different course choices. Anything that will make you feel less powerless is to be embraced. School can be such an unbearablly tedious business, but you want to get good grades so you van go to university, where you can have whatever pets you want. Sorry I wasn't much help, Lucretiax.
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hey!
well i still like my ex a ton. & tonight he IMed me & was like "you coming to my game tomorrow?" so i guess he wants me to go to his football game. We had to break up because it would be hard because hes in high school (9th) & im still in middle school (8th) what does this mean? I give 5's! thanks!
Firstly, you didn't "have" to break up. You decided to (and I would be interested to know whose idea it was: his, yours or a combination of both). I'm not saying exactly that it was a bad idea, but ask yourself why it was done? Did he, for example, suggest that he wanted "no strings" (in which case, he isn't worth taking seriously as he isn't trustworthy).
If, however, it was a purely mutual decision,then you should by all means continue seeing each other, whether with or without sexual involvement is your choice(though i would recommend caution, since semi-casual sex can be a real killer, the worst of both worlds).
Many people on this site ask questions very similar to yours-to all of you, I would say one thing-love your ex,but don't build your whole world around him/her. Don't spend ages obsessing about every conversation, feverishly scanning it for signs that they still want you. Not only is such behaviour unhealthy, it is counterproductive. Noone likes someone who is too devoted, or constanly at their beck and call.
Having said that, it's good that you two are still in contact, and IM in particular is a godsend for people in your position as it can, if you need,take off some of the pressure that can come with phone calls.Go to the game. Hang out with your ex, enjoy each other as friends, at just see what happens. The best of luck x.
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