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humorist-workshop
Moving away
Ok I was planning to go to school about an hour away from my girlfriend, but in a last minute effort I decided to stay at home and go to school with her. I was transferring to play ball and this is my second year sitting out. I feel like I'm missing something. I can go without thinking about playing, but sometimes I think about what it would be like to be on my team and what would it be like to play college basketball. My question is simple, Should I get in contact with my coach and try to go away? I really don't want to leave her, but I miss ball so much. We just got back together after we broke up for about 3 weeks. I don't want to jeopardize anything right now. I really don't know what to do...
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The person you need to talk to about this is your girlfriend. If she really cares for you and cares ABOUT you, she won't hold you back.
My boyfriend and I are an extremely close couple - we've never broken up, and he's in Florida for college while I'm in Michigan. I told him to go because I care about him and I wouldn't want him to be unhappy in school just so he could be near me.
An hour is NOT that far away. You can still go see each other every weekend and you can switch off. Like, one weekend you'll go to her, and one weekend she can come see you.
There are ways to make relationships work even if you're not going to school together. At least you wouldn't be in separate states.
That's my view on the distance thing (if you can even call an hour a long distance issue.)
As far as jeapordizing things, you've got to talk to your girl. Explain to her that you feel like part of yourself is missing, and that you want to play college basketball.
She should understand. If she tries to hold you back, she's not worth it. If she tries to stop you from being you, something's wrong.
You'd be surprised how lenient girls can be. I was really upset when my boy decided he wanted to go away, but then he told me more about the school, and I said "You're going. It's a good career move," even when he wasn't sure about it. I told him to go because I want him to be happy. There's plenty of time for us to be physically together later.
Don't think about it as leaving her - you're just going on an extended vacation. (That's what my boy always says.)
Think about what you really want, and then tell your girlfriend what's going through your head. She's gotta know what you're thinking. Talk to her first, and then talk to your coach.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Look at it this way: if this girl really loves you, she wont hold you back from the things you want to do in your life. I'm serious. I mean, in the long run, she might not be sticking around...but your love for basketball will still be there. Go for it. An hour isn't that bad, and I can tell you might regret it at a lot; not going. I really think you should go, and if she understands and really cares about you she wont blow a gasket. Good luck.
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Follow your heart. It sounds like you really like this girl but you still love the game. You should talk to your coach and see what he can do. Remember your not always going to want to go out with this girl and when you break up you will be mad that you didn't go to the other school just because of her. I would change schools and see what goes on from there. CLAIR GOOD LUCK!
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Even though your with your girlfriend, you still have to continue to follow your dreams. Talk to her, and hopefully she will know that you love her very much, but you need to do things that you also want to do. You wont have to leave her, you can still have a relationship. Any long distance relationship can work if the two know that they love each other.And, an hour away isnt that bad, you can visit her, just have someone drop you off at her house, unless you can drive, you didnt specify your age lol. But anyways, i suggest play the sport! and let your girlfriend know how much she means to you. Good Luck!
~Brina
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In the long run, you and your girlfriend have to sit together and talk about this. You miss playing ball so much and I am 100% sure, if you don't take this chance now, you'll regret it. Your girlfriend on the other hand needs to be supportive and understanding. I know you feel as if your having to choose between your "career/future" or the girl you care about so dearly. It is possible to have both, although it will be hard, but in the end, it'll strengthen your guys relationship. If you and her are ment to be, you and her, will stick through it. No you may not want to jeopardize anything, but like I said, you can always have both. It may be difficult in the beginning but you'll get use to the fact that if what you and her have is real, it'll last through anything.
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Go for your dream. You don't want to be one of those people who think about "what could have been". if you two are truely inlove, than you two will be together.
You can see her when you come home on weekends and when she really needs you, you can be there in an hour.
She can be there as well.
Good luck~
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While I can understand your confusion at this situation, I think that your dilemna is false. There is no real question, is there, of jeopardizing the relationship by moving to a school just an hour away? Of course I don't know for certain, but I would have thought that a small distance in a country the size of the U.S. I have two friends who go to college in Iowa, one in Ames and one in Cedar falls(a drive of about 2.5 hours). They love each other devotedly and spend one weekend at each town, plus the occasional visit during the week.
I can understand , however, that your situation is different:you feel insecure because you recently had a split. I can assure you, though, that if your girlfriend really cares about you she'll understand how important your sport is to you. Discuss the situation with her-it might even be an idea to show her your question. Remember that you aren't making a choice between ball and your relationship:you can easily have them both. Good luck! Lucretiax.
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