about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

Okay well laast week or so I was with a friend and she took me out iwth 2 of her friends andways long story short we were drinking and I ended up sleeping with this guy...I completly regret it now and I knw it was wrong that's not why I'm here....what are teh statistics and stuff on pulling out. And if we did it twice is tehre a even greater preganancy chance? Also I have a boyfriend and I think I lov ehim and I've never been in love before and I want him to know so bad but I just can't bring myself to tell him cuase I don't want to loose him....any help would be so apreciated....thanx

Pulling out works sometimes, but most of the time, it's not really an effective way or avoiding pregnancy. Guys leak a little bit of semen (pre-cum) well before they actually get off. This little bit of sperm is all that's needed to get you pregnant. Before you panic, I'd wait until your period is due. If it doesn't come, then you need to get tested.

Also since it appears that you had unprotected sex, you need to get checked for STDs immediately. Since you say you know all the statistics, I assume you know that STDs are not just spread through semen, but also through body to body contact.

As for your boyfriend...Chances are he'll find out anyway. It'll be better if he hears it from you. The best thing you can do is come clean with your boyfriend and hope and pray he forgives you. I know that sounds hard but it's better for you to tell him, then someone else will tell them and they will probably have a little rumor mixed in with the truth and will make it sound several times worse.

Last but not least, talk to someone, a parent or trusted adult or go to your local health department or planned parenthood office to get advice on how to protect yourself from not only pregnancy but also STDs.

Good luck.

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if you eat alot in a short amount of time whats a good way to burn the calories off faster?

please help
i rate high

Try exercises that get your heart rate up and keep it up. All body exercises will do you the most good in this case since you're not focusing on a specific trouble spot. Running, swimming, high-impact aerobics will all help.

Drink LOTS (When you think you've had enough, drink more) of water. It will help flush the fat.

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Last year I was a sophmore and I am skipping a grade so next year I'll be a senior. I tend to have REALLY atrocious study habits. Actually I guess I can't really say that because I don't have any study habits at all. It's gotten me by so far, even through the PAP, AP, and Honors courses I've taken. I'm worried, however, that it won't be enough next year. I'll be taking Duel Credit English 4, US Hist AP, AP Government, AP Economics, Academic Decathalon, and a few other courses. I'm really worried that I won't be able to keep my GPA above 3.8 like I have been and I'm looking for some organizational skills, sources of motivation, and ANYTHING else yall can provide me with. Since I'm graduating early, I have to work extra hard to get accepted to the colleges I am concidering and REALLY NEED HELP. If it helps, my habits include not studying, never doing homework, and if I do, I do it the class period before, etc. I always develope relationships with my teachers, which usually gets me out of a jam or two, and the few I don't always tell me I'm just lazy and that I could do my work I just choose not to and then they get mad at me when I don't care. Ugh...sorry this is soooo long, but I need alot of help!

Set up a time after school or in the evening for studying and doing your homework and stick to it. Turn off the ringer on the phone or have your parents or siblings take messages, turn on your IMs, turn off the tv, tell everyone you are not to be disturbed unless it's an emergency.

Try setting a spot in your room or house where you'll study or do homework. A desk in your room or any quiet spot where you can be comfortable will work. I always preferred laying across the bed myself.

Take notes in class. Break up different items in your notes with different colors. Example: blue for important dates, red for important names, etc. Review your notes each night and again before class.

Keep a separate notebook/folder for each class. It's hard to study if you have to dig through pages of notes to find the notes you're looking for.

While being on good terms with your teachers is a good thing if you get behind or don't understand something, they won't always be able or willing to bail you out when you mess up because you weren't making the effort.

Pay attention in your classes. Many teachers will specifically tell you if something is going to be on the test. If you don't remember anything else in these classes, at least remember the ones your teacher says are important.

Try keeping a schedule so you can write down assignments as they're given and the dates they're due. Write on your schedule the time you have set apart for studying or homework.

See if your school or local community college offers a Study class. These classes are specifically designed for students. They teach time-tested techniques for note-taking, organizing your schedule, how to keep the information learned at the front of your mind, etc.

Ask your parents to help you. Even if they only offer encouragement or praise you for taking the time to study, it will help.

Try this site: http://www.howtostudy.org/ They can offer you more ideas than I can come up with at the moment.

Good luck.

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I'm going to be a junior in high school this coming year. I'm starting to search for colleges. I plan on majoring in psychology and I'd like to find a college in Virginia or around D.C. How to I find the right college for me? What sort of things do I look for? Thanks in advance!

These sites will allow you to do a college search based on location, characteristics of the school, even majors offered.

http://apps.collegeboard.com/search/index.jsp
http://www.collegenet.com/
http://www.collegeview.com/
http://www.collegesearch.info/

You can find information on psychology, what to expect, advice on school, financial aid information, etc on the following site. It's the American Psychological Association website.

http://www.apa.org/students/

Once you're done your college search to determine which colleges you like, see if it's financially possible for you to go to this college. See what financial aid they offer. Many colleges offer partial, if not full, financial aid.

Take the time to go on campus tours. This will give you an idea of whether you will like the college. Talk to students majoring in Psychology and ask them about the teachers and curriculum. The admissions office can usually set this up for you when you call about a campus tour.

Good luck in your schooling and chosen profession. I wish you the best.

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i babysit little kids, and i think its really fun, but the ppl i babysit for are moving. and its stinks, i have no business and i really need the money

Try posting posters around your neighborhood advertising your services. If you can, try to post them at places where parents go often also. Church, the bank, the grocery store, the playground, etc are all good places, just make sure to ask permission first.

Make sure to put your contact information, references, experience, and special skills down. Go for a poster that catches the eye but also makes you look dependable. Make sure to spell check.

Ask the couple you babysit for now if they will give you a reference. A reference is a wonderful item that will assure other parents that their children are safe with you.

If your local YMCA, Red Cross, fire department, etc offers First Aid and CPR classes, consider taking one of these classes, or even both. If somewhere in your town offers childcare classes, consider taking these also. Parents like to know that their children are safe when they're away from them. Having your certification will reassure them that you are responsible and if, in the event something bad does happen, that you know how to handle the situation.

Good luck in your babysitting.

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why do you get uraniary trac infections?

There are many causes but the basic reason is that bacteria is introducted into your body and travels into your urinary tract. Try keeping your lower area clean and dry. If you are having sex, make sure to go to the bathroom before and after you have sex to help flush the bacteria from your body.

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well all of my friends wear special underwear, thongs, and i dont like them ,but i dont wanna tell them that, they'll call me granny, but im also not allowed to wear them, and when i do i feel uncomfortable and guilty thinking wut would my parents think if they know im wearing them, HELP ME!

If you don't like them, don't wear them. Wearing the same underwear as your friends is not worth the discomfort of wearing them or getting in trouble with your parents. True friends would like you no matter your underwear preference.

Talk to your parents and see if they would consider a skong (think skort only with thongs instead of underwear), bikinis, or boy leg panties. These are often more comfortable than thongs without the "granny" feeling of briefs.

It's a personal choice. Make it what makes you comfortable while staying within your parents limits.

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I am 18 and getting an apartment with my boyfriend and were evenly splitting the rent and electricity bill. For those who live(d) on their own, I'd like to have a range of how much I will need to make a month in order to get by?

Half of rent ($350-$400), half electricity bill (about $50.), inexpensive car payment, car insurance, basic/inexpensive cell phone, gas money, food/necessity money, and extra money for whatever.

I know the prices can vary, but keep in mind I'm very cheap with my money. So just give me a minimum and maximum estimate. Thanks.

I think my estimate will be a little lower than the other answer but I live in a smaller town so I'm more used to those prices so please take that into account.

A lot depends on what area you're moving to. Your share of the rent can be anywhere from $150 to $500. Half of the electric will run anywhere from $25 to $50. The cheapest car payment you're likely to get will probably be around $400. Since you're buying a car, you'll most likely have to carry full coverage insurance so you're looking at around $100 if you have no tickets or wrecks on your license. On the upper end, you could pay as much as $300 a month for full coverage insurance if you have a lot of tickets and/or wrecks. Gas should run you around $20 to $50 a week depending on how much you drive and how good on gas the car is. Food/necessities will run you around $50 a week. That's if you don't splurge on dinners out. A cell phone will run you around $40 to $60 a month. $50 should last you for spending cash a week.

You're looking at around $835 on the lowest end and $1460, if not more on the upper end.

Don't forget you also have to take into account the fact that most things will also require a deposit. Most apartments ask for a security deposit equal to rent. Some ask for first, last and security. The electric will most likely also require a deposit. If you're getting a home phone, you need to add that in, around $40 at the bare minimum. Also if you're on city water, you'll most likely have to pay for that as well. Most cell phones, unless you have good credit already, will also require a deposit of at least $100. If you don't have furniture or household items (pots, pans, plates, sheets, etc), you'll also have to add the cost into that just to get you into your place.

It cost my husband and I nearly $2000 just to get into our new place, not counting the gas money just moving our stuff here.

The getting moved in and your utilities turned on will be the big hurdle you'll have. If you can get through that and still have money or have good money coming in, I think you can make a go of it.

Good luck in your moving.

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Hey its me again.... I have a crush on my best friend (opposite sex) i mean hes not my omg best best friend but hes my best guy friend and i like him. I really want him to know how i feel but im don't wanna lose the relationship i already have with him because the last guy i liked wouldnt talk to me at all so i feel really lucky to likesomeone who will talk to me and all. i know that if i tell him im shy so i will start acting weird around him then he probably will too


OK... if i do decide to tell him how i feel i have an idea and im wondering if its a good idea or not....
i wont be seeing him for two weeks coming up should i have my friend on the last day before the 2 weeks go up to him and be like i think *my name* likes you but i dont know.... then he can think about it or w/e??

It would be better if you told your crush how you felt yourself. He probably already realizes that you're shy and you taking the initiative and telling him yourself will let him know how serious you are.

If you can't tell him face-to-face, write him a note telling him how you feel. Let him know up-front that you value his friendship and do not want that to change.

Good luck. I wish you the best.

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Not long ago i came on here for advice between my boyfriend and another guy i really liked and decided to make a go of trying to spice things up.We went out clubbing together and had the night of our lives and soon forgot about this other guy i like.A week later me and my friend got together had a few drinks and decided to have a few more at the local.The other guy was there and as i was plastered, bought him a drink i owed him and danced and chatted with him all night.He invited me and my mate to his house for a few more drinks but my mate left at 3am leaving us 2 alone and then we had a drunkin kiss and ended up sleeping together.Im now meeting up with him and we have so much in common including partners.Now im confused coz i like this other guy but i love my boyfriend.

If you really love your boyfriend, you'll be honest with him about what happened and hope and pray he forgives you. Chances are he'll hear about it anyway, and it'll be best if it comes from you.

You need to either decide to be faithful to your boyfriend or let him go so he can find someone that is faithful. You're not being fair to either guy by being unfaithful. Not to mention the fact that when they other guy finds out that you slept with him and had a boyfriend, he's probably going to be upset and hurt too.

Good luck.

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I am 13 and I'm a female. A few of my guy friends seem to act real nice around me, but when they're around each other, they say bad things about me. I'd like to know if I can trust them.

I asked that question earlier and I forgot to mention that one guy is an ex-boyfriend, one likes me and I think the other likes me too. My ex and the guy who likes me are very good friends and the guy who likes me is good friends with the guy who I think likes me. I hope this will give me more help.

It's possible they're saying bad things about you to convince the other not to go out with you. However, a true friend wouldn't trash you behind your back. If they had a problem with you or something you did, they'd sit down and tell you face to face.

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ok so im the girl who asked about the guy fingering me after i gave him a handjob and i wasnt sure if he got any on his hands..i know its a slim chance and blah bla but anyway...

I remember now that my period ended 6 days before he did this to me. Now doesnt that mean there is no egg to meet the sperm until the next one starts to come down for my next menstrual cycle next month? so doesnt that REALLY decreease my chances now? because even IF some sperm got in..

(1) they werent "shot up" there because we didnt have sex, some just might have got on my hand, therefore there wasnt force to push them up
(2) they would die because i hear the vagina sends stuff to kill the semen because its foreign to them right?
(3) the sperm would die before meeting the egg correct? because there wont be an egg to meet the sperm until next month! right?

i guess right now i just want to hear stuff that will make me feel better lol. thanks for all answers

When you have your period, it's not when your eggs are released. This usually happens at the half-way points between the last period and the one to come. That means it's unlikely but still possible for you to be pregnant.

Most sperm are pretty determined. They don't have to be "shot up there" to make it to the egg. How far up they landed is not an issue.

If the vagina sends stuff to kill the sperm, you wouldn't be here. Your body does naturally block the sperm but doesn't always manage to block all of the sperm.

Sperm can stay active up to 48 hours so if an egg is released in that time and the sperm is determined, you can get pregnant.

Go to the following site and watch the video. It will give you a better idea of what your body goes through while ovulating and also what happens when sperm is introducted into your body.
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/miracle/program.html#

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me and my friends grind at partys and we sandwhich is this normal like grinding with girls and im a girl alike if a bot asked me to dance and we started grinding i would keep on doing it me and my friends also sanwhich im not sure if this is normal we dont do anything gross if thats what you think because we dont we just grind and sandwhich please helpp

There's nothing wrong with dancing with girls. Since most guys don't like to dance, us ladies have to improvise if we want to dance. Girls tend to be less worried about touching another girl (compared to most guys freaking if another guy accidentally brushes up against them) so I wouldn't worry about it. If it makes you uncomfortable, don't do it. Likewise if it doesn't bother you and you enjoy it, go for it. I spent most of my senior prom dancing with girls I was friends with since our dates wouldn't dance with us and we all wanted to dance. It was a blast.

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I have been thinking of becoming vegetarian for quite some time now. I was wondering if anyone knew of any websites about being vegetarian so i can decide. Also Do you think it would be ok to ease into becoming one? Not just all at once?
Thanks

These sites are wonderful resources for those wishing to become vegetarians. They provide information on why to make the change, tips on sticking with it, and recipes for eating vegetarian.
http://www.vrg.org/
http://vegweb.com/
http://www.vegetariantimes.com/
http://www.goveg.com/

As with all changes in diet, make sure to incorporate a good quality multi-vitamin into your diet to make sure you're getting all the vitamins and minerals that your body needs. One A Day has a good formula.

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okay, im 17 and ive had sex before and ive been fingered but like..im to emabarrased/scared to let the guy eat me out. If i was a guy i would never want to do that..it seems so nasty, bc of like discharge and stuff. im scared of what he'll say or think...anyone who had this problem or has it any advice would be great. thanks.

It's a personal choice Some women love it, some hate it. If you don't feel comfortable doing it, don't.

To feel fresher, take a shower and clean the area with anti-bacterial soap before trying it. Make sure to rinse very well since it can irritate if you don't get all the soap gone.

Every woman has a little discharge. It's completely natural and usually just your body lubricating iteself. If the discharge has an odd color, is really thick, or has a strong odor, you might see a doctor since this could be a sign of infection.

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is it normal for a girl to have an upset stomach during her period? Because my stomach feels naseaus(sp?)and i feel like i wanna puke and my stomach is all bubbly feeling..this is my 3rd time having my period so any suggestions what i can do. i dont have any medicine so that wont help. 14/f....thanks for neone who tries to help.

Yes it's normal to have an upset stomach during your period. Fluctuating levels of hormones throw your body off balance sometimes causing nausea, bloating, headaches, cramps, etc. Try snacking on some saltines; they'll help calm your stomach. Sucking on ginger can also help. Try your local health food store to get some. In a pinch, I've found that sucking on a peppermint will help too. You could buy a box of Dramamine at the store. It will help keep the nausea down.

If the nausea is extreme and interfering with your life, talk to your doctor. There are several medicines on the market today that can help treat nausea.

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hey um someone in my family i don't know who, got on my screen name and typed in bad websites and now my whole list thing is filled with them, can you tell me how to delete them so i won't get framed or in huge trouble?

Right-click the Internet Explorer icon on your desktop and click properties to bring up the internet properties screen. On the General tab near the bottom is a button that says clear history, click it. It would probably be a good idea to also hit the delete cookies and delete files buttons since even though you've deleted the history, cookies and temp files from the site may still remain. Hit ok to close the screen.

To make sure it doesn't happen again, put a password on your screen name or change your existing password to something others do not know.

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ok well..im 11 yeears old, and like.. im 115lb. and im 5'2 and i abouslty hate it. People say im fat, behind my back..and im always hungry ..and i try to eat healthy but i still gain weight ..help?

At 115 pounds, you are not fat. Ignore the people that say you're fat; they are simply insulting you to make themselves feel better. Eating healthy is a good thing, regardless of whether you're trying to lose weight or not. If you do have a problem area where fat tends to build up, exercise focusing on that area.

Feeling hungry all the time is your body telling you it needs food. A healthy diet does not involve starving yourself. Your body needs food to function. Try eating more fruits and veggies. Lean meats (turkey, chicken, etc) are good since they provide protein for energy without a lot of added fat. Add a good quality multi-vitamin to your diet. One-A-Day has a great multi.

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okay well i got my period summer before 7th grade.. and im in the summer before 9th grade right now....and i still havent used tampons!! at first i really just, didnt feel the need to..but now i feel the need to and all my friends do and i just cant.. ive tried a couple times but idk.. ive done it with a mirror on the floor, and one of my legs on the ground and one up.. so i can see what im doing.. and it looks as if there is something blocking where i am supposed to be putting it... does that sound normal? i REALLY want to just somehow shove it up there but i dont know exactly what im doing.. ive read instructions and even books made for girls called Caring For Girls... please help i think there issometing wrong with me down there... thanks a bunch sry if i grossed you out=)

love me

For some women, it takes a little while before you can use tampons. I used pads myself for nearly 3 years before I could use a tampon.

If you're dead set on using a tampon, try to relax. When you're tense, all muscles in your body tighten up, including down there. That's probably what you feel blocking the tampon. A woman's body is made to accommodate things going in or out.

You might try sitting on the toilet or squatting to put it in. Angle the tampon up and back and gently slide it in.

I've always had better luck with plastic applicators since I feel they slide better. You may also be using too big of a tampon. Try Platex Slimfits or Tampax Satin Teen tampons. These are generally smaller and should be easier to get in.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

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ok i need i guys point of veiw or a girl who has been with a guy do guys like ur *pubic hair* hairy shaved a little hair but not a lote no hair??? what do they like i no everyone has a different point of view juss plzz help me

plz no stupid ass answers
*i rate high*

It depends on the guy. I've had some complain that I was shaved and they said they preferred natural. Other guys have told me they loved the fact that I shaved. I had one that said he liked his women shaved but with a small landing strip.

Go with what you're comfortable with since you're the one that will have to keep up with the upkeep. You can always change if your guy prefers different.

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