Talk to your doctor as soon as you can. She/he will give you the best advice on your personal situation. In general, it is recommended that a woman stop taking the pill for several months at least before becoming pregnant. Conception might occur right away, or take longer depending on various factors only your doctor can verify. You may want to use condoms until you have seen your obgyn. Make an appointment today!

UPDATED***
Congratulations on the birth of your sweet baby girl! Thanks for letting me know the other stuff was taken care of, too. Good luck and bless you both always!***


(Previous Post)
First of all, I am sorry that you were raped. I hope that you are getting all the support from family, friends and a couselor. There are support groups for rape, and teen moms. If you keep the baby, you will need more help than you could imagine. You sound very attached to this baby already, thinking about names and the baby's dad. Is he really out of the picture? Did you report the rape to the police? If you keep the baby, is there a chance he would want visitation? There is no way to see the future, and you need to think about possiblilities before you finalize a decision for yourself and the baby. Have you talked to an agency about adoption or taken any steps to find out whether a couple or single parent might adopt? You can opt to pick out who would get to adopt the baby if you go this route. It will not be the end of the world, no matter what you decide, but both decisions have emotional and physical real consequences that will change your life and the child's forever. Bless you and the baby that you are bringing into this world. Motherhood is one of the hardest jobs requiring continual sacrificing of your own needs for the child's well being. It is also a lifetime commitment. The final decision is yours, and I pray the best one for both of you.

You broke up only a short time and got back together rather quickly! A fight between couples is not the end of the world. So, where is all the insecurity coming from? You rushed getting back together without really working things out and now you are terrified that he is not really wanting to be together. Without knowing the details of the fight, I would guess that it was pretty much about your insecurity about how much he loves you. The insecurity has not gone away, and you need to deal with it. He needs to know as much as you do, that he wants to be in this relationship. Do not push him to comfort you or pressure him to reaffirm his love constantly...that will be very annoying. Give him time and space to find out that he really enjoys being with you. When alone, enjoy yourself, talk to friends, have fun! Don't pine away with worry...it will only make you desperate and boring to your guy and your friends. The girl he fell in love with is the one he needs to see again. More importantly, you need to know that you can be happy with or without him.

Have you been in contact with him since breaking up? I don't know if it will be possible for the two of you to still be friends, but it seems like a shame to lose him altogether. Of course there is going to be a lot of hurt in a break up, especially for the one being "dumped." It is a rejection and guys don't like to be rejected and seem to have a harder time than most women recooperating. He will get over you, and most likely he will do it in the arms of a new woman. If you can handle that, then maybe you can assume a friendship at a later time. If you can't stand the thought of him moving on, then maybe you should rethink leaving him before it is too late. Just make sure whatever you do is done out of love and not guilt or fear.

Some people only want what they don't have. Maybe he had a crush on you, but lost interest now that he has you. Are you being clingy? That will drive anyone into hiding. Ignore him for a while and he may come running back, but don't play that game forever. I am so glad that you said you want to be happy! So many people are afraid of happiness or think they don't deserve it. You know that you do deserve it, so back off for a bit on having to be his number one on myspace and other little things. Give him his space, and if that does not work, then let it be. Tell him that you think the two of you should stay just friends.

Why are you convinced that she is the love of your life? Is it the challenge of getting what you can't have? This attraction you have is preventing you from experiencing real relationships. Is that what you want? You could end up winning her over, because attractions change over time, but it is also very possible that she never returns your feelings. You could actually end up wasting years and years and eventually resent her or be angry at yourself. Life is so short; I want you to stop putting your life and heart on hold for this girl. She is having relationships and the experiences she wants to have. How about you?
Why on earth are you keeping your friendship "private and hidden?" Is she hiding you for a reason? Jealous boyfriend? It sounds like you are being her doormat, and that is not a fun life to have. No one finds a doormat attractive or valuable, except to wipe dirt off their shoes. You are worth more than that, so why don't you believe it? Keep your options open, and do not limit yourself to an obsesssion that is attractive most likely because it is an idealized unattainable.

It is hard to follow rules, even for adults sometimes. There are rules in life that we make for ourselves, because we know that by following those rules we will have a better life. Then, there are rules in life that others have made for us. Parents, governments, business owners, school authorities etc... all have established rules based upon their power and values. Your parents do not trust you, because you and your sister proved that they cannot. So, you and your sister will have to prove to your parents that you can be trusted by having an attidude of maturity, patience and being...obedient. Yikes!
Getting to go out and have a life without parental restrictions is only going to be accomplished in the following ways: 1.Your parents cease to care about their children's safety. 2. You and your sister live long enough under your parents safety and protection to reach adulthood. 3. You both continue to sneak around and risk getting into trouble, never earning your parent's trust, and possibly getting yourselves into situations that could harm you physically and emotionally.
My own parents were stricter than any of my friends, so I feel your pain. However, I know that the lengths one is willing to go to for a little freedom is hardly ever worth it. Find ways to express yourself, do what you love and hang out with friends in a way that your parents will tolerate. The more you fight your parents to get your way or go behind their backs, the harder it will be on you and the less freedom you will have. You are going to be asking your parents to trust you, but you have to mean it and show it by your attitude. Then, it will be about negotiating and baby-steps. If they let you do a small thing, then do not complain. Be gratetful for the opportunity to prove yourself trustworthy, and next time you will get a little more freedom. You say who you are by your actions. They will be watching extra carefully, so watch yourself.

You are not alone. We all make mistakes and most of the time our mistakes affect others. You are sensitive to your own mistakes, and feel badly for them, because you are a caring person. Ask your doctor and pharmacist for suggestions on medicines and natural herbs to improve memory function. Memory function will improve if you are getting plenty of sleep and eating healthy, staying hydrated. Concentrate on what you can do, and let yourself off the hook. It is not your fault that you are human, have extraneous medical circumstances or that you are not perfect. I have a feeling that if it was not your memory it would be something else about yourself that bugged you. Did you grown up in a critical environment in which you were not allowed to make a lot of mistakes? Love yourself flaws and all. Accept yourself and realize the next time you are frustrated, that you are still a valuable person and mistakes are a part of life, everyone's life.

If you are taking a strong oral medication, then chances are you could have a bladder infection. The antibiotics that cure the yeast infection can wipe out the balance in your body and cause you to have a bladder infection. Frequent urination is the first sign, and pain and blood in the urine will be along if you don't get medicine. You need to have yourself checked out (a simple urine test) from an urgent care or your regular doctor.

The current and fresh way to do eyeliner is to use a small brush and shadow instead of pencil. If you do prefer a liner pencil, use the automatic gel type that requires no sharpening. It will glide on easily without tugging at fragile eyelid skin or damaging eyelashes.

Actions do speak louder than words. You are observing behavior that is contradictory to what they claim. Some traditions promote that women should be submissive. Religious persons often site a couple Biblical passages to justify this belief, despite the fact that other biblical passages suggest equality between men and women and mutual submission by both wife AND HUSBAND.
Equality in marriage is a balancing act sometimes and hard to achieve unless BOTH husband and wife agree on the necessity of mutual shared power. It becomes more complicated when a couple tries to determine fair compromises in the relationship. Your mom and sister both sound like they are trying to please their own husbands and keep the peace. Often women will make more compromises than men in ways that are seemingly submissive, but it is because women value relationships more than power in most cases.
Every woman has a right to equality and power, but part of that power is the right to choose how it will best serve their individual values and needs. Marriage is more complicated than it looks from the outside, and no one really knows what goes on in a marriage, except for the two spouses. Do not judge your sister or mom, but continue to observe and learn what you can. You may choose not to marry, or to marry someone who will respect and agree with your ideas about equal shared power.

Consider framed black & white prints for a sophisticated look. French art is a broad category and I would suggest you search the web to find out which styles and artists appeal to you.

My idea of forgiveness means releasing a person from the bondage of their offense. When someone wrongs us, we attach various thoughts and feelings not just to the action, but to the person. Forgiveness separates oneself from the offender, whether or not that person ever owns up to or apologizes for the hurt. Forgiveness does not condone or justify the offense, but it unbinds the hold that a grudge would not. You can forgive someone, and still believe that they should reap a natural lawful consequence for the violation. Forgiveness cannot be given in falsehood, but is easily bestowed when the perspective of self is in alignment with the connectiveness of the universe.

Hair is alive? Well, I suppose she means you are damaging it. Straightening should only be done by a professional who is experienced, and over the counter products for straightening are probably the worst. Would you rather have curly hair in good condition and manage it with good products or would you rather continue to straighten it and live with frizz and lots of damaged split ends? You need to have trims at least every 4-6 weeks until you grow out some healthier hair, and you might consider going as short as you dare to rid the majority of the overprocessed hair. Many women want what they don't have. We all have been through that and damaged either hair or skin in an attempt to get what we don't naturally own. Try to play up what you do have and be proud of your wild locks. With the right haircut, a pro should be able to give you a look that makes the most of your hair texture and frames your face perfectly. Keep searching for the right stylist and when you find one, stick with him/her.

You dreamed that he needed you, and you feel warm, content, happy, protected in his presence. How we feel around someone is something we remember forever, long past the remembrance of what we wore or said. Those powerful feelings may pop up at times we miss them or identify them with something else. Even sexual dreams are rarely about sex, so I don't doubt you about the dreams being nonsexual anyway. Likely you felt with him something that you are longing to have back in your life now. Concentrate on those feelings...they are telling you something about yourself. The dreams are more about you, then they are about him. It is not about wanting to rehook up with him, but about rehooking up with a feeling you had, that can be useful now. Are you missing or lacking any of the feelings you associate with the dreams? You don't need him to be back in your life to feel the way you long to feel. Try writing down your dreams as soon as you wake up. This usually reveals clues to become more intuned with yourself. It is important to check in with ourselves...and your subconscious is definately trying to get in touch with you.

Yes, he is a hypocrite and a very insecure one at that. This is evidenced by the way he projects his problems and shortcomings onto you. When someone attributes things they don't like about themselves onto someone else, they are not being rational or accepting reality. Likely he was raised in a critical environment and fears being imperfect. You have probably already confronted him in some ways, but he will not likely listen. He is too afraid to be human, to have faults, and weaknesses. A person like this has a hard time believing that anyone would love the real him and that he has to protect himself with a false front. This kind of person is often privately the most critical of himself...a self-loather. It is good that you are not accepting of this behavior, and want to stand up for yourself. However, you must determine how long you are willing to put up with it in the likely event that he will refuse to confront his own demons. You might have a better chance at reaching him if you can do so gently and in a non-threatening way, otherwise he will shut you out immediately, because it will be too painful for him to hear critisism. You are his girlfriend and have no obligation to stay with him, nor are you capable of saving him from himself. If things continue without a marked change in him, consider moving on.

He is wrong for being violent with you, being too controlling, and manipulating you with guilt. You are wrong to put up with that abuse, letting yourself be manipulated and accepting his excuses. Just because he harms himself and has "hurt feelings" as a way to manipulate you with guilt does not mean you should fall for it. He does need help...probably serious help that only professionals can handle. He is not going to get better as long as other people accept his behavior, so don't stick around as a doormat anymore. You need to get out of there quickly. You cannot help anyone who does not want to help themselves. You need to think about your own safety and the downhill slope this guy has led you down...it will only continue in a spiral of abuse. If you don't take it seriously and love yourself enough to save yourself, then you could end up in great danger. Please do what you can to get out, and call the police for help in doing it. They can escort you in getting all your stuff and moving to a safe place. Your life can be and should be better when you separate yourself from this violent man.

Tell your dad that you are worried about the situation. Talk to him and see if that helps. Then, if you are still concerned talked to your mom or another trusted friend/adult. I would not air the dirty laundry of your dad's past to his girlfriend, because that would be crossing the line. Their adult relationship is between them and they have to work out all their own trust issues. I don't know what strange behavior your dad is displaying, but keep an eye on him. If you do find out he is doing drugs again for certain, then you need to contact your mother or another trusted adult. You do not want to go through your whole young life living with his cocaine addiction. I truly hope and pray that he is recovered and clean, but you can also call or go to websites for drug addiction like Narcotics Anonymous, for additional help and support.
http://www.na.org/

Bad boys are so exciting...well to good girls like us...they are the romantic ideal. Usually good girls have the secret hope that they can tame the bad boy, well just enough to suit us. The problem with the bad boys is that they exceed the tolerance level we have for their wicked ways eventually. Also, they become boring and predictable. By then, our values and reputations have been put at risk. Your friends probably mean well and think that they are saving you from the disaster you might be unwilling to foresee. Only you can decide what to do. If you do hang out with this or any other bad-boy then at least be cautious. Don't lose heart, but don't lose that pretty head, either!

Do babies like wool socks? Is it that cold where the baby will live to need wool socks? I only ask, because I have been to a hundred baby showers and no one ever gave wool socks. Of course, I live in California, maybe you are from Alaska? If everyone or more importantly the parents to be are going to appreciate the gift, then you should not worry about anyone else. Wrap them with flair! If you are not sure that your gift will be appreciated or used, then return it and buy something they have registered for. If they did not register, then ask them what they would like or pick up a gift certificate...always appreciated!

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



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All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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