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How do I move on from this break up?
I just got out of a 5 1/2 year relationship (we were engaged) in July and I'm finding it very hard to deal with.
I left him because after a while, I realized that it was more of a friendship. I love him very much but I guess I'm just not in love with him anymore. I didn't feel that SPARK or that passion.
He was my best friend for so many years and I guess a part of me just wishes I felt the same as him. I know he loves me and is in love with me and it breaks my heart to hurt him this way.
Sometimes, I just feel like running back to him because I want so badly to just take away his pain and make everything better but I know it wouldn't be fair to do that.
I just don't know how to deal with everything. I don't know how to move on and deal with the way I feel.
It's hard to explain. I just feel like a terrible person because I've made him hurt this way. Everyone tells me that I what I've done is for the best. Everyone supports me. I've been told several times that he just wasn't the one for me and it was obvious.
So in a way I know what I've done is the best for ME but it's just so hard to move on.
I don't know if I'm making any sense. If anyone has gone through this, how did you deal with the breakup? How did you get over feeling so horrible about hurting someone you care very much about?
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I haven't been in one those situations before but I'm going to say that it's not your fault that you didn't feel the spark and if your boyfriend really cared about you he would respect your judgement and your request because he knows you did it for a reason and he's probably not sad but happy that you told him the reason and besides you still can be best friends right? So don't worry that he's in pain and the best way to deal with it I guess is to hang out with him and the more you do that the easier it will be to get over it i think. Hope this advice works.
Sophia
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i think that if the man really loved you he probably would respect your answer. its not your fault mabye you are just ment to be good friends and you arnt comfertable with this step. dont feel bad, this could be a new adventure for finding someone who is right for you. and your ex could find someone right for himself.
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Have you been in contact with him since breaking up? I don't know if it will be possible for the two of you to still be friends, but it seems like a shame to lose him altogether. Of course there is going to be a lot of hurt in a break up, especially for the one being "dumped." It is a rejection and guys don't like to be rejected and seem to have a harder time than most women recooperating. He will get over you, and most likely he will do it in the arms of a new woman. If you can handle that, then maybe you can assume a friendship at a later time. If you can't stand the thought of him moving on, then maybe you should rethink leaving him before it is too late. Just make sure whatever you do is done out of love and not guilt or fear.
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I know this is hard for you and trust me, you make perfect sense. I went through something simular and I want to tell you that once you realize that you had to break it off with him you will be able to move on. You arn't a horrible person, what you did was for the best. You couldn't marry him and be unhappy for the rest of your life. I broke up with my fiancee a month ago, and I still think about him, but I know that what I did was the best for both of us, even if he didn't realize it at the time. I haven't had any contact with him, and I think that is also helping me get over the whole thing.
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