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in love with my best friend
well this is your typical, boy falls in love with his best friend. i have loved this girls since high school, and out friendship is the strongest friendship anybody could have. we are like exactly the same.
well, i never told her how i felt, i believed that i had no chance with her. she was always with someone with someone else, and she seemed happy. certain things happened , and i had to tell her how i felt. we had to stop talkin for a couple of years, but we are now talking but keeping our friendship very private and hidden.
i have been in love with this girl for like 6 years, i know it could never be, but something inside tells me that she is the one. :-( i am aware of my situation, i know i should let it go, but i cant. every day i am more and more convinced that she is the love of my life, and i can't do nothing abou it. i really dont talk about this , i have these intense feelings and yet i must pretend that i dont feel anything, so it would help to hear form others. has anyone been through this?
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yes i have, and still am. well close. i have yet to tell her how i really feel. i dont really plan on ever telling her, because i value our friendship, and if i did tell her it would be ruined. either right away if she doesnt feel the same way, or a few months down the line when we break up. feelings, almost by definition, can not be controled. the best advice i can give you is to try to focus on someone else. i know it seems hard right now, but you will find someone, someone who sparks a little intrest at first, and as you get to know her, and focus more on her, you may find that you have true feelings there. friendships tend to last a lot longer than relatioships. and you are in an even worse possition than i am as far as telling her goes, because youve already told her once and been rejected. just try to be satisfied with friendship.
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Why are you convinced that she is the love of your life? Is it the challenge of getting what you can't have? This attraction you have is preventing you from experiencing real relationships. Is that what you want? You could end up winning her over, because attractions change over time, but it is also very possible that she never returns your feelings. You could actually end up wasting years and years and eventually resent her or be angry at yourself. Life is so short; I want you to stop putting your life and heart on hold for this girl. She is having relationships and the experiences she wants to have. How about you?
Why on earth are you keeping your friendship "private and hidden?" Is she hiding you for a reason? Jealous boyfriend? It sounds like you are being her doormat, and that is not a fun life to have. No one finds a doormat attractive or valuable, except to wipe dirt off their shoes. You are worth more than that, so why don't you believe it? Keep your options open, and do not limit yourself to an obsesssion that is attractive most likely because it is an idealized unattainable.
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My question[s] to you is this:
-Is friendship that can last a lifetime more important or getting into a relationship with one person who is in doubt about it and will only last a year or so more important?
-Are you really willing to throw away the friendship EVERYONE looks for but is unsuccesful in finding?
You should never throw away a friendship that you guys have that's so valuable. It's hard to find ONE goodfriend in a life time and it seems like you've managed to do that. And if you throw away that friendship, man, you are going crazy.
Bottle feelings up inside is very very bad for you. From a girls point of view, if my best friend that's a guy said he loved me (Which won't happen because he's homosexual) than I would freak and get mad at myself for not noticing then confused about how to handle this and not wanting any of this stuff to have happened because I really wouldn't wnat to ruin the friendship. Then I would try to keep my distance from him because I wouldn't want him to have any feelings for me to get more intimate.
You should go to clubs, go party, do something with a lot of people and FEMALES and get your mind off her. Keeping your feelings all bottled up for one girl for 6 years while you could've shared those feelings with others was bad. I mean you cold've met someone you love LOVE more than this girl that is your best friend.
Meet new people..PLEASE. I'm sure there will be someone out there for you that you love mroe than this girl. What is the point of mourning and weeping over this one girl that is
1)Your best friend 2)Doesn't share the same feeling back 3)Probably really hates to ruin this friendship 4)LOATHES the fact that her best friend is in love with her.
It's pointless to love someone who won't love you back in the sense of relationship and such. But don't let that hold you back from meeting new people. There are millions of people you can meet but mourning over one won't change anything nor will it motivate you to meet new girls
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Well, my thoughts on this is that you have to go and tell her how you feel. It's been a long time keeping these kinds of feelings bottled up inside yourself. I just had to call my ex last night and confront her (shes no longer in love with me). So, life is too short to wait around for things to happen, or try and put them out of your mind. If I were you. I'd be on the first bus to her house, telling her EVERYTHING that I feel twoards her. I hope everything works out for you
-BlackBatman-
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