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Fear
A few days ago my boyfriend of a year and a half and I broke up. We got back together the next day. The break up was sort of mutual but I initiated getting back together and wanted it more I think. Things are going a lot better now I think, it seems like a fight we needed to have. When I’m with him now I’m quite relaxed and comfortable but the problem is when he isn’t around I’m completely terrified.
I’m terrified he is going to dump me again, that he doesn’t love me, and that I bullied him into taking me back and the problems I thought we had, the ones we are working to solve, weren’t the core problems and he’ll still be unhappy and leave me.
I can’t sleep, I feel sick to my stomach nearly all the time, and I’m just plain scared. I’ve never been this way before over someone, and I’ve never gotten back together after a break-up either. I don’t want to beg him to love me, or make him tell me things just to comfort me, but I just can’t seem to deal with my fear. He hasn’t said he loves me since it happened and its dumb things like that that are just eating away at me. How can I talk to him about this without pressuring him into things? Or how can I deal with this fear?
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You broke up only a short time and got back together rather quickly! A fight between couples is not the end of the world. So, where is all the insecurity coming from? You rushed getting back together without really working things out and now you are terrified that he is not really wanting to be together. Without knowing the details of the fight, I would guess that it was pretty much about your insecurity about how much he loves you. The insecurity has not gone away, and you need to deal with it. He needs to know as much as you do, that he wants to be in this relationship. Do not push him to comfort you or pressure him to reaffirm his love constantly...that will be very annoying. Give him time and space to find out that he really enjoys being with you. When alone, enjoy yourself, talk to friends, have fun! Don't pine away with worry...it will only make you desperate and boring to your guy and your friends. The girl he fell in love with is the one he needs to see again. More importantly, you need to know that you can be happy with or without him.
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you should relax think that he'll be with you if he did'nt love yo then why would he still be with you juss think possitive!! hope that helps =)
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I think what you need to do is calm down a little, after all, if he didnt want to be with you he wouldnt have got back with you!!
I understand you been scared about him leaving you, but i suppose its the same in every relationship really.. there is always the possibility of something going wrong no matter how tiny it might be!! Uf you are worried about how he is feeling why dont you talk to him about it? I mean after all, he os your bf! So you should be able to talk openly about things..
If he does break up with you, i know it will be hard fopr you because of the love you feel for him, but just think to yourself; would you rather him be with you and not feel the same as what you feel? And be unhappy?
As for not telling you he loves you yet, hes a guy!! Also he might not want to say it yet because he may be feeling scared just like you are!! He may want to wait a while, and not rush into things! Thats why the best thing to do is to talk to him about how you are feeling! I Hope i helped! XXX
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