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:.Hey x3My name is Emily and blah blah blah.
:.I have a lot of personal, family, and friend issues of my own so a lot of times, I can probably relate to you a lot of times if you have personal, family, and/or friend issues.
:.I can offer a lot of information, help, and advice on family and friend relationships, love lives, depression, stretching/flexibility, weight loss, violin, being organized, dog training, forensics (public speaking), keeping up with school/extracurricular activities, eating disorders, writing (stories and poems), and probably a lot of other random stuff like what to drink when you eat something spicy and why.
:.Although I can help a lot of you guys on the above subjects, I don't tend to take my own advice so it can become quite an awkward/ironic/contradicting situation for me or make myself sound like a complete and utter hypocrite.
:.Hannah Whitall Smith once said, "The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right." I agree 100% of it. Advice is advice and it is given when asked for. I give it and I leave it at that. It's up to the questioner/advice seeker to take it.
:.That point leads onto my philosophies in advice giving:
1. Advice is given when asked and no time else, unless your friend is about to irritate a black bear, then you should definitely advice your friend to back away and run for his or her life.
2. Advice is not critical, not judgmental, and definitely not biased. Advice is advice and should remain neutral.
3. Advice is to help, not to get 5s on every answer. As a result, my advice ends up being quite blunt and frank with a hint of rambling mixed in.
If you have general questions on the topics I can be a lot of help in (as listed above), most likely, they will be in my FORUM
If it is not, you can inbox me to request me to put it up.
:.If you want to ask me a question directly...
a)if it is not urgent and can wait a week or so, inbox me.
b)if it is an urgent question such as "I'm being eaten by a shark! What do I do???" first of all, I'm quite amazed that you can type while being eaten and second of all, e-mail me at cancel.life@gmail.com. I will answer you by midnight of that day (or if it's 11:55PM, probably by 3PM the following day).
advice
I'm a 21 year old woman and I live alone. My next-door neighbor is a middle-aged man, and I feel that he gives me excess attention. Since I moved here last year, he's left several gifts on my doorstep, including t-shirts, candies, home-grown vegetables, and long letters about how people come into your life for a reason. He often offers to fix up my car or cook for me. Last year, I contacted my property managment and, without naming names, let them know that a neighbor was being too friendly. What scares me is that they knew it was him, and he laid low for a bit. Eventually he confronted me, jokingly asking if I really thought he meant me harm. At one point, a policeman knocked and asked me if I knew my "older, African-American neighbor" but wouldn't tell me why. I feel somewhat guilty of racism and snobbery, but, more importantly, I don't feel entirely secure. He might be spying on me. He knows if I've been napping or on my computer. Tonight I was dozing off on the couch, having a little alone time, when he knocked. I have blinds, but I noticed they were a bit tilted. When I opened, he asked if I were "daydreaming" and then asked my boyfriend's name, claiming he might have received a package for him. I've had all kinds of weid encounters with him in the past--he told me I was hot once, and once my boyfriend and I forgot the window was open, and I when we left my apartment, we saw he had hung a bag of candy from my doorknob. Truth be told, he gives me the creeps. Am I a racist or a snob, or do I really have something to worry about? Contacting the management didn't work, so what should I do?
It's not about racism here. You're overwhelmed by his "Friendliness" and you feel like your privacy is invaded and that your personal space has been torn down. I would've been really creeped out too and I would do some things and don't do some things.
First thing is to always keep the blinds closed at all times. Make sure few times a day that they are completely closed and getting a thick, curtain would be a good idea too but don't make it seem like it's so gloomy or something. Keep everything locked and when this guy leaves gifts for you at the door or something, return it to him (in the day time) and say thanks but:
If it's candy, say you're trying to cut out sweets and if it's something else, say you appriciate it but you have plenty of it or just make up some excuse. If he's getting on your nerves a whole lot more than now, just move in with your boyfriend or...hate to say it..move.
You don't really have evidence to have the police been on the look out for this guy. Or ask the neighbors that have been where you live for a while if they know anything about this guy that lives next to you. Try and do some research on this guy yourself. Go to the police station and ask if (His name) has gotten complaints or records or something like that...
Just stay safe
Good luck
okay well first i'm 13 and there's this guy that lives down the street from me who's 16 his name is ^juan^ and he has a best friend who's 14 ^danny^ and he has a younger brother who's also 14 ^sapear^. Now i've kissed Danny well he kissed me and now i feel weird around him but i know he likes me alot! But i don't feel the same after what i've heard.
Juan told me he tried to get with this other girl (12 years old) and that made me feel bad because he also has a girl in SD and he loves her but he wants to get wit me.
But then i like Juan and i got wit him and we made out and we did stuff but then i feel like he doesn't care so how am i suppose to feel. I mena i heard alot about him too.
Juan has so many ex girlfriends and he's not a virgin which i am and it makes me think does he care or is all he wants is sex?
then his brother sapear wants to get with me and they're brothers!I haven't heard anything about sapear that was bad besides he smokes but yea...
well step but still i feel weird it's like whoa so many guys!
and it's hard cuz i don't know who to like i mean i like sapear because he seems so sweet but juan is like wow too but danny i just don't know.
What should i do?
thanks and sorry it's so long!
f/13
Woah. That 16yr old. Stay away form him. Sounds to me like all he wants is the physical part of a relationship. Step away from his brother because that will cause a borther rivlary and it will be awkward for you to go over to his house when his bro will be there and you broke up with someone older to go out with someone younger
Danny, you kissed him. Get to know him a little better and see if you like him. Be a friend but don't step into the friend zone. If he doesn't ask you out for a date, suggest casually that you two go to a movie together. But anywhos bottom line, break it off with the 16year old and make it clear to him and his little bro that you just want to be friends and you don't want any fights starting. Get to know Danny better also
There are three of us. We're 15/f. I guess im really the third because my two other friends[there my closest ones]are bestfriends. One of them used to be my bestfriend, and we'd kind of exclude the other one out, now its backfiring on me. It's hard to deal with because they make me feel so left out. Before when we made my other friend feel left out, my bestfriend would atleast talk to her. Both of them always ask me to go to their house, while the other one is there, but then it just turns out awkward because both of them ignore me and do their own little thing. It's not fun.
Being in a circle of friends where there is an odd number is always hard. Make sure that you listen in on the conversation going on and participate in it or if you don't get what they're saying or are bored with it, change the subject to something that at least one of them will be interested in or just tell them that you're feeling left out. Either that or you can try to find something that all three of you guys can do or make new friends and drag at least one of the new friends along with you if you know that you're going to feel left out
14/f
Alright I have a bf and he's 17.
I really love him but we get into a lot of fights..
See when we talk on the phone he gets so distracted and doesn't even care what I say..
Especially when he's playing his annoying video games.
He's obsessed.
I get so pissed off at him because I feel like he never listens to me on the phone.
What should I do?
Just don't talk to him on the phone and talk to him face to face. Ask him if he'd put aside the video games for a while just so that you guys can talk. Ask him if you're borig him or if he wants to talk about something else. And most of all, tell him to tell you if he wants a subject change or whatever. Tell him that if he doesn't listen, you'll just hang up on him---(if he doesn't want a subject change, say he's busy or whatever andjust tunes out for video games)
okay, well i'm 13 years old in january. i'm about 5'4, and i have sorta an athletic type body. every one tells me im' not fat and im really skinny but i think i'm overweight. i weigh about 125-130. is that about right?
Well, the normal weight for you should be around 120lbs. And so you're just about right. And since you have an athletic type body, it's probably the muscles that is causing the weight to be a little higher since muscle weighs more than fat.
My Boyfriend and I had sex right. Well he got done took the condom off and wiped his penis off with a towel I believe so. Well maybe like 2 hours after that we had sex unprotected. Do you think im pregnant? If so like what do I do an is it even possible?
Honey, when you have sex, there is always a chance of getting pregnant and this risk increases if you have unprotected sex. Just because he didn't come doesn't mean that you're not pregnant. My dear if you're gonna have sex, you should really learn the consequences of it.
Just to make sure, get a pregnancy test and take one each week for a month and if all of them come back as a negative, good for you. Also if your period comes thats a good sign. If your period doesnt, don't fret. It could just be your stress
SO me and my boyfriend have been on a "break" 2monthes and I just want to be with him but he says "I dont want a girlfriend, but if an when I do like you'll be the first girl I come to because you have the whole package"! Well im confused because he says this stuff an then like other night I stayed the night with him an we had sex. But yeah you know it confuses me, And like honestly I have no idea what to do but I should just demand an answer. But like jealousy wouldnt work if you tried doin that to him he just would be done, I guess thats why he has stayed talkin to me for 2monthes now. An I think thats what he expects but ive not done that yet so he is holding on to me. But really tonight I told him I wanna talk so what should I say, Because I really want an answer!!
I think --from what I've read-- he's not ready to make a commitment and he still wants to fool around considering that he wants to have sex with you but not have a gf.
You should say something about chosing between losing you or keeping you. If he wants to fool around he will lose you and if he wants to keep you he should settle down and not make you feel like you're his friend with benefits.
okay so theres this boy i know and i liked him for a long time, but he didnt like me back. and now that i dont like him, i always get the feeling he likes me now? what can i do?
Oh my, I'm in the same exact spot. Just be friends with him and know that just because you think he does doesn't mean that he really does.
Just act like if everything is just peachy and talk to him a lot and just be a good friend
My Grandam is very sick and might die!! I cant deal with the pain it is causing my family ecspecially my dad! Every time a tear comes to his eye it comes to mine!You see my grandpa went down to cincinati to have open heart surgery and he made it through fine. That night my grandam started to not be able to breathe so they took her to the hospital. Now she has to have open heart and is sooo frail she might not survive! Is there any way to stop me from crying all the time and to be sad some of the time not all? ANd any ideas on how to cheer my grandpa up? Let me know thanks!
Don't think about the worst because if you do, that will happen.
Tell your dad that your grandma will make it perfectly well and that she'll get better in no time and that he should think positive thoughts about the outcome.
Tell your grandpa the same thing and be there for him as much as you can and do little things for him like help him around the house and talk to him on the phone regularly. Visit your grandma if you can.
Alright well I'm 14.
I'm 5'2'' and I weigh 137.
I think I weigh to much for my height.
I used to weigh 128 but I gained it all back.
I really wanna get down to 117.
I think I'm a little fat.
I'm not sure what to do at all..
What do you think?
Do you think I'm at a healthy weight now?
Hmm, that's a little too much wiehgt. You should be around 110lbs
117 is a healthy weight to aim for. But please don't go on crash diets or osmeting because that actually causes your body to save fat.
Go on a healthy diet by exercising and eating healthily.
Exercise every other day or everyday continuously for at least 40min (up to 60min would be good) Go around your neighborhood with your pet, family, friends, or just solo. Make sure you warm up and do stretches before you do any workouts.Start off jogging at a slow constant speed for a week. Then slowly start to increase the speed and how much you run. Make sure that you can talk while you're jogging/running and if you can't talk for more than 5min, it means you're pushing it too hard. Doing push ups, weight lifting, curl ups, they all help. Switch up your exercise routine every month so your body has to work harder each time.
Eating is a huge part to helping lose weight. First things are to stay away from junk food ranging form sodas and chips to pizza and fast food to chocolate, cake, ice cream etc. Also ask your mom to use olive oil instead of butter or avoid bacon and peanut butter. Drink a lot of water each day and try to replace juice and sodas with water. Eat 5 times a day--breakfast, lunch, dinner, and 2 snacks in between meals. For snacks eat fruits or veggies but don't dunk them in caramel or something like that. control how much you eat by getting the right amount of food you should consume onto your plate and not reaching for that second plate. The snacks will help you from eating too much. Eat slowly and don't gobble it down and if you're going to watch TV, get rid of all the food in sight and turn off the lights in the kitchen after 8PM. If you get the temptation to eat something, wait 10min, drink water and after 10min if you still want to eat something, eat veggies or apples.
With school and all, it's going to be hard and with the holidays coming up. Try to stick with this during the weekends and when school is on break. Don't restrain yourself from not eating those cookies on Christmas though. Once in a while is okay and eating a few is all right. At school, if they have fruits, salads, veggie dips or somethingliek that, get that with a sandwhich that isn't loaded with carbs.
Good luck =]
15/f
If you know a guy has a crush on you but you two have never talked, how do you go about talking to him? We do not have any classes together but I see him in the halls between blocks. I am barely friends with a few of his and he doesn't know any of mine because he is new.
Is there anything I can say to him to make conversation in the hall? I think it's kind of strange to say hi to someone you don't know then walk away.
Thanks!
Say "Hey, haven't I seen you somewhere before?" and just casually introduce yourself and strike up a small conversation. If he's in your lunch awesome, talk to him then. Ask his friends if they know his sn or email address and IM or email him
Alright so i really like this girl. I went out with her the beginning of the summer and we kind of just stopped. I didnt worry about it that much when we broke up but for the past 3 months i cant stop thinking about her. She hasnt really had a boyfriend since us that i think meant to her as much as i did. Or shared the same kind of attraction. I just wanted to know is there still a chance in getting her back. Maybe if i talked to her alot more and tried hanging out with her more. The talking started dying down once we started highschool this year but lately ive made an effort to talk to her more. Please any advice would be appreciated.
My dear. DO NOT USE ANOTHER GIRLS FRIEND JUST TO GET THE GIRL.
It's a horrible thing guys and girls do and it hurts the friend they use a lot.
Since the break up wasn't caused by a fight or mistrust or whatever, there is a chance you can get back with her but think of the reasons why you guys "just stopped"
Ask her out to a movie and try to keep things interesting everyday. Don't feel nervous to talk about things with her because she's your girlfriend. Just act like you're her friend and keep talking to her. ASK HER OUT. you'll never know if you don't
well, i was with my boyfriend for 9 months. He is my first love. But we recently broke up. were still talking and stuff. We broke up because i lied before, and he has this thing with flirting with every girl and thinking hes always right. Well the reason i lied was because i was afraid to loose him, but then i did loose him so i said i wouldnt lie to him again. But he just doesnt seem to care. Like one minute he'll tell me he loves me and wants to be with me still. Then the next hes all i dont know if i want to be with you again. And he like is out partying with all these girls. And my sister keeps telling me hes playing me. But i could never see him doing that. And people are always telling me he messed around with alot of girls. I love him so much, But it hurts me to feel like he doesnt care, and hes out with all these girls. What should i do? Should i move on, Or keep trying.
Love makes us blind and it seems like you're trying to deny the reality. If he is a player (from what you've said he sounds like one) you're better moving on. If he flirted with other girls while you were his girlfriend, he has problems. You deserve better than him so I suggest for you to move on and find a better guy.
do ipod nanos come with chargers? or do u have to buy them separate?
xoxo
You should've gotten a USB? wire thing where you can connect your ipod to your computer to uploadmusic into it. Well, when you plug it up to the computer, your ipod starts to charge
Alright. So cheerleading tryouts are in a few days and I'm interested. There is a clinic tomorrow where I can learn the stuff to try out with. I haven't done cheerleading for 6 years. My question is; what can I do about nerves on the day of tryouts and how do I boost my confidence to feel like I'll make it? I really would like to make it. Thanks!
Bananas are very good beta blockers which helps you keep calm. Eat bananas and protein like chicken before try outs. Try to get your mind off of it by doing something else like reading something or listening to music.
Also everyone gets nervous for anything they have to try out for and they'r'e bound to mess up so you won't be the only one who might mess up.
Good luck
i want to do some things to tone my body more. but im worried about working out and buliding up muscle making my thighs and arms bigger rather than smaller but stong like i want. Arms and thighs are where i want to tone down the most and my stomach. any good ideas for workouts that i can do to make these areas smaller and lose some weight without becoming more of a muscle women?
Well, I'm pretty sure that when you workout the body loses fat first then it slowly starts to build up muscles.
Stomach:
Do curl ups every night and don't skip. Start off with 10 and increase by 5 when you feel like you're ready. If you feel back pain, that means you're doing too much.
You can also prop yourself off the floor in a push up position and stay there for a while or instead of using your hands, use your elbows and arms.
Arms:
Push ups, weight lifting--those help.
Thighs:
Stand with one foot slightly in front of the other with your hands on your waist. Now slowly lower your body using your thighs into a kneeling position. Use your thighs agani to stand up. Do this about 10 times and repeat on the other side.
You can also lay on one side with one arm propping up your head and the other arm in front of your stomach to support your body. Lift up the leg on the top slowly as high as you can and slowly come back down until you're almost touching the other leg. bring it in front of you as if you were kicking something in the front and bring it back and to the middle. Do this 10 times and repeat on the other side.
okay i already asked you about the pranks and stuff but the only problem isv that i don't have any classes or private time with him and he is ALWAYS with friends so i'd have to walk right into his freinds and try to talk to him....kinda hard espeacially when he doesn't like being around me so how should i say i sorry.
Hmm all I can think of is to write down something like :
Sorry for all those mean pranks I'be pulled on you but is there still a chance of us being friends? I hope so and I'm really sorry. If you want, IM me/email me at (fill in your sn or email add). Sign (your name)
something like that. Have someone (possibly a good friend of yours) in his class or someone who can be alone with him give what you wrote to him.
But I must warn you, he might just go around and spread that around and although that's going to hurt, that will just tell you that he's not worth it.
Either that or talk to people to try and trackdown his sn and talk to him on there...or email address.good luck =]
15/f
There is a guy in my grade who 'is like in love with me' according to his friends. However, we have never talked or been introduced and do not have any classes together. The only time I see him is when we are in the halls. I was wondering, how can I get him to talk to me?
I would really like to meet him and I know he likes me.
I have previously asked this question but it was too long. Sorry for the repeat.
Thanks so much
My dear, don't wait for him to talk to you. You go ahead and talk to me. Don't believe what his friends say because for all you know they're just joking around.
Just say hi in the hallways, stop if you have a minute and just talk to him and exchange a few sentences. See if he's in any of your lunches or if he's staying after school the same day you are (obviously for different reasons) Get his sn, email, or number and continue to talk to him.
Key thing is don't wait for him to approach you first because it seems like he's not gonna anytime soon.
ok so when ever i go to the bathroom or something like that i notice this white goopy stuff in my underwear, like coming from my vagina. sometimes theres a lot and it grosses me out. i dont know what it is, but how do i get rid of it or most of it? like make it stop?
ive had sex before, but im not pregnant..if that helps
I'm guessing it's discharge and you can't make it stop because it's your body's nature to cleanse itself in that way. Just wear pantyliners[sp]?
MY BF of two weeks is coming over tommorow and i AM FREaKING OUT!!! I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT WERE GONNA DO. I need help from everybody! What are we gonna do? Im really really really nervous around him and clam up and am uncomfortable i need ideas on waht to do and what movies to watch (LONG MOVIES.ANY HElp on waht to do/ how to act/ ad how to relaz would be VERY MUCH APPRECIATED
CHILLAX my dear.
Goodness. Just act like yourself. How did you normally act around him? Act the same. Watch a scary, action, or comedy movie with him.
Click, The Matrix, Lord of the Rings, blah blah.
Also why don't you play some kind of sport like soccer or basketball with him for fun or just talk about random things. Play video games or just watch TV with him.