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Is my neighbor just really nice, or his he a pervert?
I'm a 21 year old woman and I live alone. My next-door neighbor is a middle-aged man, and I feel that he gives me excess attention. Since I moved here last year, he's left several gifts on my doorstep, including t-shirts, candies, home-grown vegetables, and long letters about how people come into your life for a reason. He often offers to fix up my car or cook for me. Last year, I contacted my property managment and, without naming names, let them know that a neighbor was being too friendly. What scares me is that they knew it was him, and he laid low for a bit. Eventually he confronted me, jokingly asking if I really thought he meant me harm. At one point, a policeman knocked and asked me if I knew my "older, African-American neighbor" but wouldn't tell me why. I feel somewhat guilty of racism and snobbery, but, more importantly, I don't feel entirely secure. He might be spying on me. He knows if I've been napping or on my computer. Tonight I was dozing off on the couch, having a little alone time, when he knocked. I have blinds, but I noticed they were a bit tilted. When I opened, he asked if I were "daydreaming" and then asked my boyfriend's name, claiming he might have received a package for him. I've had all kinds of weid encounters with him in the past--he told me I was hot once, and once my boyfriend and I forgot the window was open, and I when we left my apartment, we saw he had hung a bag of candy from my doorknob. Truth be told, he gives me the creeps. Am I a racist or a snob, or do I really have something to worry about? Contacting the management didn't work, so what should I do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
Move... or get a restraining order, this guy sounds like a pysco
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You defitnaley have something to worry about. He's spying on you. And you may think he's being friendly but he's just trying to lour you in. You are defitnaley not rascist or a snob. He is hitting on you. You should tell someone before something serious happens.
Hope that helps!
Good Luck.
<3
Kate
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It doesn's seem like you are racist to me, unless you are. I think you have the right to be a little insecure about your surroundings. I would suggest contacting the authorities or moving.
xoxox
hope i helped.
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Well. Its better be safe than sorry. If you feel ensecure, then tell him what you feel. He will probably back off but if he dosn't, then u should notify the police. Hope this helpes.
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"I'll take 'Creepy' for 800, Alex."
He might be odd, or crazy, its hard to tell where the line is drawn. Its important for you to take precautions though - keep yourself safe and secure. If you do that, this becomes for the most part "Oh there goes our crazy neighbor again". I'd get some mace, just in case. Keep your house locked. If you and your BF are close, have him stay at your place sometimes (though, be careful not to let your BF get riled up and start a confrontation). And remember your windows.
Its not about racism, its about him making you uncomfortable.
If all he is does is say odd things, and do things like leave candy, then you really dont have anything you can do beyond taking precautions. The guy could simply be odd, and lonely, which while it isn't a crime, his actions aren't anything more than...well as you said, creepy. IMO most of the things could be interpreted diffrently by different people, with the exception of the letters. Save those, photocopy them. If the police come by again, or if something else happens that forces you to go to the police, the letters stand as proof of where his mind has been.
If you leave out the letters he wrote, and the fact that he is 'middle-aged', I would have guessed that he was one of those senior-citizens that is a little nosey (watches through windows) and dotes on their neighbors (gifts, help, etc). Though, I do wonder how you can be sure that HE wrote them, I doubt he signed them...have you seen him leave them there? The police will ask you that, and other questions as well.
He could just find you attractive /shrug.
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Get an inexpensive security camera and try to catch him spying on you. Then you will have proof and clear evidence of illegal actions and will be able to file a formal complaint. Right now, you just feel uncomfortable, and sadly, that's not good enough. Returning the gifts is a good idea. You don't have to be nice to him, just be polite and respectful. Another suggestion would be to have your boyfriend have a talk with him and try to scare him away from bothering you. Make sure that it wouldn't end up in some kind of confrontation before you ask him to do that. If there is any chance of it don't take that risk. I wish you the very best of luck and I hope that this gets resolved soon. :)
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This guy seems extremely creepy. Maybe not perverted, but he's strange enough for you to want to seek help. Look him up on the sexual predators list (just to make sure). Maybe he has a mental problem. Make a visit to the police station sometime soon and explain your encounters to them. If anything strange ever happens again, make sure to call the police as soon as it does so that they can come and talk to him. If you have to, get a restraining order. This guy is not normal!
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It's not about racism here. You're overwhelmed by his "Friendliness" and you feel like your privacy is invaded and that your personal space has been torn down. I would've been really creeped out too and I would do some things and don't do some things.
First thing is to always keep the blinds closed at all times. Make sure few times a day that they are completely closed and getting a thick, curtain would be a good idea too but don't make it seem like it's so gloomy or something. Keep everything locked and when this guy leaves gifts for you at the door or something, return it to him (in the day time) and say thanks but:
If it's candy, say you're trying to cut out sweets and if it's something else, say you appriciate it but you have plenty of it or just make up some excuse. If he's getting on your nerves a whole lot more than now, just move in with your boyfriend or...hate to say it..move.
You don't really have evidence to have the police been on the look out for this guy. Or ask the neighbors that have been where you live for a while if they know anything about this guy that lives next to you. Try and do some research on this guy yourself. Go to the police station and ask if (His name) has gotten complaints or records or something like that...
Just stay safe
Good luck
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