This guy that I've been friends with for a couple of years just got divorced. He told me that he wants to get married to me. He has never had children and said he wants to start a family with me. My concern is that he is 45, 17 years older then me. If we started to have children, by the time my child was 18 he would be in his 60's!! I am also concerned because he is quite old fashioned, and would want me to be a stay at home mom. I just got a promotion at work, and I don't want to have to quit it so soon. I've only been with the company for 4 months. He also has a tendancy to treat me like a child, has a bad temper, and is very tight with his money. He's also very possesive of me. I don't know what to do. He would be a good father, and I know I'd be a good mother, but I don't think I'm ready to start a family. My job is too important to me right now. And he seems really desperate to have a child, he's not getting any younger. Does anyone have any advice?
Easy one. Forget him. Possesive men never get better, they only get worse. Let me break down for you the cons of this relationship:
1) He has JUST got a divorce. This is the worst possible time for anyone to even contemplate a second marriage. It's not just the question of rebound-it's also that he probably felt out of control in his first marriage(in fact, his domineering nature was probably a considerable factor in his divorce)and is looking for a new woman so that he can feel that he is back in the driver's seat. Not cool.
2) As you say yourself, the age gap. I hate to generalise, and please bear in mind that what I am about to say has countless exceptions, but people(especially men) who want to be with much younger women are generally undesirable candidates for boyfriends. It shows maturity, you see, to be able to date your own age. Anything else can suggest a worrying degree of insecurity, as I believe is true in your friend's case.
3) "He would be a good father". I beg to differ. Noone displaying the character traits that you have outlined makes a good parent,in fact you should be thankful that he has no children. Here, the age gap is irrelevant-if he was a sweet, gentle and warm man, then him being in his sixties when the child was eighteen would be irrelevant. Had he lived, my father would have been sixty-three when I was eighteen.No better parent than him.
4) Your career. You are only twenty-eight, and you have just got a promotion at work. You fully deserve a man who would not only support but celebrate your career move, and not pressure you about children. You have a good few years in you yet. I know women, my own mother amongst them, who didn't have children until their forties. You need to get settled in your career before you think about a family. Certainly you shouldn't just grab the first man who asks. Let your friend find someone who wants to stay at home, with no job and no prospects, and mind children. You need to move on.
Good Luck.
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are you stupid are jus plain rude shorty ia int ask you to answer my question ruely...lol wateva tho
I can only presume from this line of gibberish that you are the person whose question about pregnancy I answered earlier.
Am I stupid? Not stupid enough to allow"Dudes" to stick their privates up near mine indiscriminately.
Am I just plain rude? Quite possibly, though warning you of the dangers of rape and alerting you to the benefits of understandable English seem to me more simply helpful. But it seems that in your case, that's a waste of time. Have a nice life as a fifteen year old mother on welfare.
Kisses! Lucretia x.
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Hey, you seem to have your head screwed-on right so I thought I'd ask you this question - and it's long and complicated!
There is a guy I work with (we're both from Bournemouth), and we go to separate Universities (me - Lincoln and him - Liverpool). I've just turned 21 and he's about to turn 20.
Well I've worked with him for about a year but never ever even dreamed he'd be interested in me, so never bothered saying anything to him. Well one night after Xmas when we were both home for the holidays I saw him out in a club when I was drunk and we got talked him, and I asked if he'd like to go for a drink at Easter. Well he looked completely astonished and said "yeah sure!". I got his number and texted him a couple of days later. He replied the next day and we texted each other a couple of times, I added him to MSN, we spoke, blah blah blah. That was about a month ago, and since then we've been texting each other really really filthy stuff that we'd like to do to each other. I've already told him I don't have casual sex (anymore) but this guy is so gorgeous it's hard not to get caught up in talking about that kind of stuff.
This was all well and good but I really want more from him - I don't know him that well but from what I do know he seems like a lovely bloke and ticks most of the criteria I have for men - I guess you could say I got a bit picky in my old age! After having been single for 2 years I'd like to find someone I can settle down with for a bit. With me so far? Good.
Well just over a week ago the filthy texts stopped completely. I texted him last Saturday asking how his skiing trip went and I didn't get a reply, but I was on MSN later that day and he signed in and started talking to me (btw he only has internet access at Uni whilst I have it in my room, which is a pain). He then started talking to me like a normal person, being quite playful and laid-back. I thought "Great, he likes me!". But that was the last I've heard from him. No texts, filthy or otherwise. He did mention that he's got a serious cash-flow crisis at the moment, so I'm hoping that he's just got no credit (tho I have absolutely no idea if he's on PAYG). It's his birthday Tues and I've sent him a card, it has my address on the back of the envelop but I doubt he'll use his brain and use it! Anyway I just wondered what my next move should be? Maybe a casual email? I'm just not sure what I should do - it's hard enough to get to know someone you like but worse when they disappear completely! And if I do manage to maintain contact with him, how would you recommend I broach the subject of wanting to get to know him and seeing where it leads? I was originally gonna send a Valentine's card explaining my feelings but have got such mixed messages that I freaked out and didn't send it.
Thank you SO much for your time and patience in reading this and I hope to hear back soon :)
For a start, thanks for your faith in me-though I've made my good share of mistakes, I'm finally strarting to wise up...
But I'll cut the cackle and get to your problem, although I have to admit that I'm as much in the dark as to his motives as you are.Taking your question step by step, it is obvious that he 1)Likes you in a sexual way and 2) Likes you as a friend. Trouble is, in the Law of Relationships 1+2 don't NECESSARILY add up to 3)he wants to be your boyfriend and in your words "settle down for a bit" (or for however long). I'm not saying that he doesn't , mind, just that you can't know.
So here is where I would push the boat out and send him a combined Birthday/Valentines card. Don't make too much of the Valentines theme- you could even make a sly joke of it, referring to the birthday card as a "non valentine". The more I think of it, the better idea that seems-by being playfully interested, you force his hand in the gentlest possible way-ie. if he wants to take you up on it, he can-if not he won't and no hard feelings.
My other strong advice to you is to not obsess about it too much(Iknow, I know, almost impossible). But I would say to keep as many distractions on the go as you can-it's old advice but one does seem more attractive that way. I am just going through an uncertain patch with a man, and I am doing as much as possible to keep my mind off it. Go tot the cinema with your girlfriends on Monday. Don't spend all day waiting from an IM from him-let's hope he starts texting again. I'm sorry not to have been much help-as you say yourself, the situation is hard to read. But keep me posted as to how it went, or ask advice again should the need arise.
Good Luck!
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If you have to burn more calories than you eat to lose weight, then how is it possible to burn 2,000 calories every day? Like it is healthy to have 2,000 calories per day but that is a lot to burn off. You know how there are different types of figures like apple, pear, spoon, and hourglass? Well, I am an hourglass according to a quiz I took but does that sound right for a 14yr old/5ft 4in/137lb/27in waist/36in hips person? (Those were the questions they asked to determine my body shape). Also, I am not doing anything different in my life but I am gaining weight and I look a bit more pudgy plus my body is getting bigger, why? I have been on a diet and excercising. I am so confused! Please help. Thanks so much.
For a start, your body may be going through a growth spurt-teenaged girls often feel themselves uncomfortably "full" as they develop larger breasts and wider hips. Also you shouldn't worry too much about losing weight, just eat for your appetite and don't graze too much on junky snack foods(haha, I'm one to talk, just having gobbled a huge slice of vanilla cheescake straight from the fridge-not something I recommend as it gives you bellyache). This is as important for health and wellbeing as it is for weight loss, which should never become your primary focus. This last I say for two reasons:1) Because eating disorders are, sadly all too common among girls your age-although I was some five years older than you when I developed a mild case of anorexia.
2)Advisor is quite correct in saying that your mind, abilities and thoughts are far more important than what some chart or magazine says you should look like. Facial expression is the only valuable aspect of beauty-you are far more likely to be beautiful if you are happy, and happiness is impossible if you are constantly fretting over your weight.
However, if your weight rises uncontrollably, to the extent where it affects your health, you would to best to see a doctor.
Good Luck.
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My current boyfriend and I have been going out for about a month. Here's the problem: My boyfriend makes me think of my EX. He does not
remind me of my ex...at all. He just makes me think of my ex boyfriend...more than when I was single. And heres the weird part: I dumped my ex TWO YEARS AGO! I'm not sure if I like my boyfriend right now. He's seriously the sweetest boy ever and all the things I'd want in a guy but I just don't feel the inital attraction I've felt going into this relationship. I need help...opinions, advice, suggestions, anything
I wholly identify with your problem, since the same thing happnened to me in my last relationship but one. What I think has happened is that a contrast has been set up in your mind between your ex and your current. I'm guessing that your ex boyfriend was not as sweet a guy as your current-perhaps he was even the teensiest bit of an a**hole? Just a guess and do forgive me if I'm wrong. But if I'm right, then what you're feeling is quite natural, if seemingly perverse. If you are subconsciously contrasting the two, then you might also start to long for your ex, even though you dumped him all that time ago.
So much for my analysis-you need advice on what to do. I say keep quiet about it, do as many different things with your current as possible, and wait it out. A little nervousness is common at the start of a relationship, and it is at this very time that the ghosts of past loves come back-just to make things harder for us. But I guarantee that if you rush to dump your current boyfriend who is so sweet, you may well regret it later.
Good luck, and feel free to drop a question in my inbox should the situation develop.
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Hi, well.. is it "normal" to hate a guy and like him at the same time? Because I don't want to like him but I can't help it! (gah hormones I suppose).. It seems to happen with most I guys I like.. I guess that tends to happen when you like the a**holes.. but.. other than that, I'll alwayd like a guy maybe 30%, never full out crush on 'em. Thanks in advance for your advice =)
Well I hope that it is "normal" because I'm much the same way myself. It does, of course help if you don't pick the a**holes to crush on but then you run into the unfortunate fact that unreliable and selfish guys can seem much more alluring than regular ones( don't fall for the old "guys are all useless" lie-its a moan put about by women who are addicted to bad boys and won't look at the ones who might bring them true happiness).
Your question doesn't mention your age, but I'm guessing mid-teens. Don't worry. Your time will come. I'm twenty-two and still have continual crises over men-I'm only slowly and gradually beginning to get wise to the fact that certain men are implacable and almost completely selfish, be they ever so charming. These men are not really sexier than the others. They just SEEM sexier because they have more confidence in a certain area,ie scoring with women. Don't waste your time.
Good Luck.
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aight look this dude was rubbin the head of his di*k on my pu**y because i told him he couldn't stick it in and PLUS he aint even have a condom and then he stuck it in and i pushed him back and moved so my 2 questions are....
1) is that called havin sex with him ?
2) could i be pregnant if thats all he did
now i really need to know this because it went farther then i wanted it to so if u could plz lemme kno wat chu think i would appreciate it!!!
I doubt that you're pregnant, since from what you say he didn't even come close to ejaculating. However, I would do two things:
1) Get a pregnancy test:either buy one from a pharmacy or go to a free clinic(if you have one where you live.
2) Stop fooling around without a condom. Continue the way you've been going, another "dude" might get rough and rape you. That way, your troubles might well be threefold;post rape trauma, pregnancy AND an STI or worse still, AIDS.
On consideration, that should be three things:
3)Learn correct spelling, punctuation and grammar.
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so valentines day is kinda a big deal at my school theres even a big website with a list of all the valentines people have.but anyway i help run the website and my friends who i run it with me want to know who i asked to be my valentine and i like 2 guys. ones totaly sweet and funny and lets me wear his sweatshirt all the time and i see him all the time and the other is funny sweet and hot but i only see him once in awhile anyway which would you ask and HOW would you ask them thanks
Without a doubt, ask the first guy. Guys who let you wear their clothes rock. Hotness isn't the most important thing-hot guys can get way too much attention, especially in middle and high school,and it would be a most exceptional one who didn't let it go to his head.
That was the easy part-we now move on to the thornier problem of how to approach him. It seems to me that you have two options-either traditionally, via a card, or through your website. I would myself pick the first option as being more old fashioned romantic, although you could always do both(wouldn't really advise that though, since you don't want to go over the top).
Or you could compromise, and personally design a card for him on the computer(or hand draw one for that matter, if you're any good at art).
Happy Valentines Day!
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Well my friend at school is really beautiful and very flirtatious and all the guys like her, but im kinda the tomboy girl who all the guys "hang out with" but dont "go out with". but recently her ex bf has started to like me but he says he still likes my friend (his ex) and she still likes him too(she is in a relationship), soo please help and tell me what to do !
I would say go carefully; your situation is somewhat delicate. From reading your question, you sound like a much better candidate for a girlfriend than your friend-(some) guys come to recognize this as they get older, and those than don't are the lightweights that you shouldn't bother with. Your crush sounds more sensible:his behaviour is however not acceptable, as it not only could drive a wedge between you and your friend, but also leaves you unsure and perhaps feeling inadequate, in the shadow of your friend and her beauty. Tell him that he has to make a definite choice between the two of you-if he likes her, let him ask her back out, if you, then go for it and nevermind her. Ultimatuming him may seem harsh, but he musn't get away with umming and aahing and stringing you along.
There is however a disadvantage to the procedure which I have just outlined: what if he indeed chooses you over her, and she gets mad? If he was anyone but an ex of hers, I would say that all's fair in love and war-the rules for exes are however a little different. I would still say though that if she's a real friend of yours, she would be happy. Talk to her first, and see what gives.
Good Luck.
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Ok so i was supposed to go to a dance tonight but it got cancelled, and moved to March, in like 5 weeks. I sent an email to my friend, the boy i was supposed to go with. I told him the new date, and he said that "He would like to go, but it's a month away so I can't make any promises." So .. does that mean he just doesnt wanna make any definite plans? Like i realyyyy wanna go with him, and im afraid he will wait till the last minute to tell me, and i wont be able to find another date. Any thoughts .. suggestions?
In answer to your title question "what does that mean?" I can tell you that he's probably hedging his bets-correct, he doesn't want to make any definite plans. I'm not clear from your question whether or not you want us to determine if "he's just not that into you"; if you are, then the answer is that it's impossible for us to tell, as we none of us either know the boy or are Greg Behrendt(whose advice should in any case be taken with a substansial dose of salt). I would, however keep your options open, as that what he seems to be doing-who knows why, he could have plans to go away in March or whatever or whatever. Keep us posted, and ask further questions nearer the time should the need arise- feel free to drop one in my inbox.
Good Luck.
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ok me and this guy have been goin out for on monday 3 weeks ok, well valentines day is cummin up. should i get him summin r not, im not forsure if hes gunna get me somthing, how much should i spend. what do u all think/
Get him a card. Three weeks isn't that long to have dated someone, and you don't want to overwhelm him. If,however, you want to make it more special and are any good at art, then you could design the card yourself.
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Why would a married man lie to his wife about his wherabouts? This is what happened. I've been friends with this man and his wife for the last 3 years. They have both been working out of town for the last year and only come home once a month to pay their bills. Well I had my friend come over for a visit to my appartment. We were just talking and I was filling him in on all the latest town gossip. Nothing was going on sexually for him to feel quilty about, which is why what happend next was so odd to me. His cell phone rang, and he looked hesitant to answer it. Well he decided to answer, and it was his wife. She was asking where he was, and he LIED right in front of me to her! He said he was out "shopping". Then he hung up. He also had this really guilty look on his face. Why would he lie to her? His wife knows we are friends, and that nothing would have happened between us. They both know I am a virgin and saving myself for marriage. Does anyone have any ideas why he would lie to his wife, and why he was acting so quilty? Do you think this might mean there are problems in his marriage?
I am not sure whether or not the situation that you have described signifies problems in their marriage:not neccesarily, and anyway it's not really relevant. The point is that this man is behaving inappropriately to you. The fact that he feels the need to lie to his wife when he is around you suggests to me that he has feelings for you which would not bear too close inspection. Your question doesn't mention the age gap, if any, between you and this couple-I'm assuming that they're older than you. If so, then that makes the situation more dodgy-some older men get a strange vicarious thrill from being around young girls, perhaps especially if those girls are virgins-you're forbidden fruit as yet unplucked, more subtly sexy than some skank ass ho.
Whatever their ages, however, you still need to go carefully. I say avoid him. That's no way for a married man to behave.
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Help me people, I'm in Limbo.Months and months ago, I briefly dated a forty-seven year old man(I am twenty-two/f) and it didn't really work out. He said he was still in love with his ex girlfriend back in the States(he is American, I am British and living and up until the today we both lived in Britain).
Despite our initial break up, we continued to see each other,and were sporadically sleeping together. The day before yesterday, I got a call from him saying that he was about to get kicked out of the country(long story, but he basically had a dud visa and tried to slip in to the country anyway-result ejection, even in yankee loving Britain)
So we met up-he invited me over to"watch a DVD" (you get it, code for "my c*ck is leaving in thirty-six hours, be on it") and I had the best sex of my entire life. Post-sex, though, I was troubled and sad, as I felt that my need to be close to him was not a feeling reciprocated by him-idk, I'm never sure with him. In the morning he kissed me, was tender and affectionate and promised to call me that night, his last in the country for God knows how long. He didn't call, which hurt me like caustic acid being poured on a wound. I sent him a text which gently admonished him for his failure to call, also telling him that while I was confused in my feelings for him, I thought that I loved him. This morning, just about two hours before he got on the plane he sent me a message apologising for not having called and saying that while he was stressed out, our last night had been a beautiful one for him. The message was lovely except that it in no way responded to my text. I just don't know what to do. I'm miserable and confused-part of me loves him like hell as well as feeling more lust for him than for any of my previous boyfriends, all of whom have been of my own age. But he has a history of emotional difficulties and has made me no promises. He said before he left that he would keep in touch(he is going to try to get back into the country when he can). I guess I just need someone to tell me no you fool, of course it's not going to work. But at the same time, a tiny part of me needs that less pessimistic voice.So what dy'all think?
I don't want to be harsh, but it seems to me that you've answered your own question. This man doesn't love you; whether he is capable of loving anyone is highly questionable. Check out Dr. Tracy Cabot's website, and read the story about the broken popcorn machine. You'll see what I mean.
Good Luck.
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Ok, skip the whole. "oh my god, you are so stupid for breaking his heart" stuff. I just need help, I know what I did was wrong.
Ok, first off. I'm trying to get my ex back. I dumped him for another guy, who turned out to be an ass, and i realized what i did was wrong. i miss him a lot and i would do anything to have him back. I have talked to him about this before and he said it was not going to work out. since then we have been good friends, but now im starting to like him again, and he knows. he told me to call him on december 23rd when he gets new minutes on his phone so we can talk about it and i can tell him why i want him back so badly. he is afraid to get back together because he doesn't want me to break his heart again, and i swore on my life i wouldnt. because i won't. i just really miss him and like i dont know if he wants me back or not. im not afraid to call him, just afraid that its going to be a blunt "NO" answer. but why would he make me wait that long for a simple "NO"?
If anyone can help, it would be greatly appreciated. thank you! i give 5s if anyone helps me.
I love your question, partly because it deals with the topic of hope(which is exactly what we need at this cold and bleak time of year)and partly because I am at the exact point of my re-watching of Sex and the City where Carrie and Aiden get back together. Thus, fresh from SATC, I can tell you that no, he wouldn't make you wait that long for a simple "no".(I know, I know, it's only television, but sometimes life does follow art).
My only concern would be for your future, when and if you do get back together. Are you perhaps the sort of person who only wants what you can't really have? If so, beware, for remember what happens later on in SATC, when Carrie and Aiden are reunited. She can't commit, which is why she can't free herself of the equally commitment-phobic Mr. Big. The tone of your letter suggests(forgive me if I err)that you get quite a high from the ups and downs and the uncertainty of it all. You perhaps crave the drama that was lacking with your ex first time round, which is why you cheated. If this scenario I painted rings any bells, don't worry. I understand it, because I'm like that myself. My only advice would be to remember these feelings that you have now(perhaps even save this question)and take it out and look at it next time you feel bored with your ex(we hope soon to be reunited)boyfriend. Of course, it could well be that the jolt caused by this split will be quite enough to ensure your seeing your boyfriend in a new light. Noone wants a puppy dog who is always at their beck and call:good on your ex for holding you off! That said, I really hope it works out.
Good Luck!
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I have a question about a guy who I'm friends with. He had invited me and some other friends of his to celebrate his wifes birtday at a local restaurant.
Well I was the 3rd person to arrive and from the minute I sat down next to him and his wife he gave me attitude. He asked me a question and I thought he said "where's the gang", I aswered that they hadnt arrived yet. Then he YELLED at me and said "I SAID WHERES THE GIG"!
When everyone else had arrived (there was about 20 people) his wife started opening her gifts. When she opened my gift someone asked where the card was. I didnt get her a card, just a gift and he (her husband) snapped "there IS no card".
Well after this abusive behavior and no one defending me I went to the bathroom. When I walked out he came up to me. I told him I was leaving because I felt uncomfortable. He asked me if I would be going to another function with him and his wife the next day and I told him no I was going to my parents. Well then he did something that I thought was almost a little voilent. He stuck his face REALLY close to mine (like we could have almost kissed ) and said in a loud, mean, voice 'IM SO SORRY".
This really freaked me out. My question is why do you think he would treat me this way? And does that mean he might be a violent person? Also do I have a right to think he was being an asshole?
Certainly he's an asshole. He's one of those people who delights in belittling and humiliating others, for some reason barely understood except by a therapist. And, frankly you're not this man's therapist, so why should you care?
I understand, however, that it's perhaps not as simple as that; there must have been some reason why you were friends. If, however(as your letter suggests)you didn't know him that well, then just be thankful you're not his wife, and avoid him socially as much as possible. Tricky if you work together(in which case be cicvil but not at all warm) otherwise do not answer calls or emails and he'll get the message.
Good Luck!
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OK well here it goes. My friend Marissa is my bestfriend but shes been really EXTREAMLY getting on my nervs latly. Shes making me think of her as a skank that leads guys on. Everytime i meet a new guy and talk to him after a while she ends up finding him too, which i dont mind at all dont get me wrong, but then they start talking more and more cause she talks "dirty" to them. She says shes only kidding when i confront her about it and she THINKS they know that but OBVIOUSLY the guys do NOT know she is. Ive asked my guy friends and they think shes serious. So that makes them better friends with her then me now and like her more! And it really pisses me off cause they all end up liking her more. Im with her all the time so its kinda hard to have them avoid her and i dont want them too cause im not like ganna keep her from sharing my friends too..I mean i want her to have my friends too! But the thing that really gets me is if they like me and then she talks to them then they like her more cause she talks "dirty" to them and says she loves them and things like that. I know im jealous ill admit it but it pisses me off when they end up liking her more. Im not like that im not ganna go talk dirty shit to all my guy friends. Like i said she says shes kidding but they dont get that!! Everything she does they like better. GOD! It even makes me mad just talking about it! I know i dont sound like a good friend but wtf its annoying! Theres one guy that flirts more with me then with her and guess what she doesnt like him. Like i had a birthday party a month ago and she wanted me to invite all the guys that like her more then me but are still good friends with me but NOT the one that pays attention to me!! I DONT KNOW WHAT THE HELL I SHOULD DO! Could someone PLEASE tell me how i can like get this to stop bugging me or what i should do? Im ganna go crazy one of these days!! THANKS SO MUCH! Sorry this is so long and ill rate 5's cause its so long and i sound like a maniac. LOL!
I can really identify with you. My best friend, who is probably some years older than yours, used to display a modified version of the same behaviour. She would come up and talk to guys, naturally and without difficulty, while I stood by, tounge-tied and shy. Guess who always walked away with he guy? You got it! Thing is though, none of her relationships ever lasted. What I am trying to get at with this somewhat rambling parralel is that you can't feel jealous of your friend for being different from you. Neither of you would be happy in the other's position, for you are two entirely different people. Instead of jealousy, you should feel pity, because the kind of guy who prefers a girl on account of her freedom with the horny talk is not ultimately the kind of guy that a happy girl would want.
What's more, Marissa clearly understands this,if only on a semi-conscious level; I suspect that her disregard for the boy who prefers you could mask an interest in him, or at least an angry curiosity as to why he isn't into her. Be happy at the interest of this boy, and don't be discouraged by the others-believe me, unless Marissa wises up, you'll be certain to have the last laugh. I can only hope that, when you do, your friendship is strong enough to sustain her inevitable jealousy. Meanwhilr, start looking around for other friends.
Good Luck!
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I'm 16/f catholic; and I masturbate. Is masturbating a form of lust, thereby making it unacceptable against the commandments? I was just wondering, as I found that I'm virtually addicted, and although it is healthy, I want to know whether it is morally wrong for me.
Cheers. I rate high
What you need to understand is the difference between what the church, Catholic or otherwise, considers wrong, and what actually is. Yes, masturbation is a form of lust, and as such is a Deadly Sin(NOT, however against any of the Ten Commandments-adultery is the only sexual crime detailed there). I'm not going to get into a long explanation of the reasoning behind religious customs, nor will I bash them(i leave that to st. gasoline). All I think is that you should quit worrying about masturbation and ponder instead on the true horrors of the world, such as hunger,war,xenophobia and Donald Trump's toupee.
Good luck!
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my best guy friend (let's call him "k") who is also my ex-boyfriend just got a new girlfriend (let's call her "m"). when me and "k" were going out, he told me he loved me, but i didn't feel the same way so we broke up a week or so later. so now this new girl "m" comes into the picture. he likes her a lot and they are going out. they have gone out for like four days and "k" already told "m" that he loves her and she said it back. i just don't understand how he can tell two girls in such a short period of time that he loves them. it really bugs me because i feel like he just used me so he could say he had a girl. i do not want to let "m" get hurt like i did. what can i do to help this situation? i don't want every girl he dates to feel like she is the only one but he has really told every girl he dated the same thing. i'll rate 5's!
Your question seems to me a little confused; first you say that you broke up with "k" because you didn't love him whereas he did love you, but you end by saying 'I do not want "m" to get hurt like I did.' I suspect, however, that this seemingly contradictory situation makes perfect sense; you probably sensed "k's" insincerity, and would have liked a relationship but broke it off realising that he was not able to deliver.
Thus, I would make so bold as to suggest that you probably still have romantic yearnings for him, albeit mixed with anger against him being such a lightweight. Under those circumstances, you mustn't approach "m", because she would sense the jealousy which underlies the perfectly sincere concern for her welfare. Let her find out for himself what he's like;probably a perfectly charming friend, but not much of a boyfriend. Good luck!
P.S. Your question doesn't say, but I'm guessing that you guys are all somewhere in your teens. Understand well that the world holds many men like "k", and that they don't all change with age(I myself was until recently dating a forty-seven year old who behaved much like your ex:charming, but unreliable). However, some guys wise up, and , better still,there are the ones that were nice all along. Stick to those and you'll be allright.
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f/15
so me and my best friend went to high school and we met up with one of our elementary friends and she became really close with her again and i felt like i was getting pushed out tho i was becoming friends just not as good with the other girl. So i told them both but gave more crap about it to my best friend and they say that they are making an effort but they still do it. So i was talking to my best friend today and she said that she went to the mall with just the other girl and they went christmas shopping and i got kinda upset when she mentioned that she didn't invite everyone else..cuz im her best friend and now shes makin it seem like we are nto as close..and i accidentally cussed her out i was so upset. What do i do now? i cant even get up the nerve to talk to her.
Oh dear. There is no easy answer to your situation, which is an all too common one in female friendships(this applies to women of all ages-the fear of betrayal by one's friends is as primordial and acute as fear over straying lovers).
While I can fully understand why you feel angered and hurt by your friends' behaviour, you have to understand that by being jealous, you are driving them both away. It doesn't sound as if they are being intentionally malicious-more that they have naturally gravitated towards each other. This actually happens a fair bit in university, but there people tend to be older and happier to be more fluid(also, it is at university where most people grow up enough to settle on the few friends whom they care about most).
To get back to your problem, I would talk to your friend as soon as possible, preferably in person, otherwise on the phone. Don't IM, this one needs to be face to face. Apologise, as sincerely as you can make it sound, for cussing her out, but go on to explain that the business about the mall wasn't okay, and she shouldn't do that again. If she just blows you off and says w/e, then you need to give her space. Hang about with other people(some highschool cliques are more appraochable than others). Eventually your friend mightwell fall out with her other friend, in which case you guys could grow closer again. It sounds harsh, but just try to accept that this is the way of highschool friendships. Hope I helped.
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ok. 15/f
my boyfriend and i have been together for a year. but jwe broke up about 2 weeks ago. is there a way i can keep him as my friend but not cry myself to sleep.
Your question should, I suspect,really be" How can I stop crying myself to sleep?" Correct me if I'm wrong, but if you feel that being friends with him would hurt that much, chances are you're really hurting anyway.
And this is where the situation gets sticky;a clean break, or the gut-wrenching but sometimes neccesary morass which is post-relationship friendship. I know from bitterish experience that one person's friendship is another's barely disguised longing to get back together;from your question I would guess(again, sorry if I'm wrong)that you are the one who would want to reinstate the relationship. If this is the case, then the only advice I can honestly give is to take a deep breath and forget about "friendship" for a while. It doesn't have to be forever, just until you're sufficiently over him to be able to enjoy his company without longing every moment to get back together. In the meantime, make other freinds, hang out, enjoy your own company and that of your girlfriends. A year is a long time to have dated at age fifteen. You have to give yourself time to feel better. Good luck.
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