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older love part three
Help me people, I'm in Limbo.Months and months ago, I briefly dated a forty-seven year old man(I am twenty-two/f) and it didn't really work out. He said he was still in love with his ex girlfriend back in the States(he is American, I am British and living and up until the today we both lived in Britain).
Despite our initial break up, we continued to see each other,and were sporadically sleeping together. The day before yesterday, I got a call from him saying that he was about to get kicked out of the country(long story, but he basically had a dud visa and tried to slip in to the country anyway-result ejection, even in yankee loving Britain)
So we met up-he invited me over to"watch a DVD" (you get it, code for "my c*ck is leaving in thirty-six hours, be on it") and I had the best sex of my entire life. Post-sex, though, I was troubled and sad, as I felt that my need to be close to him was not a feeling reciprocated by him-idk, I'm never sure with him. In the morning he kissed me, was tender and affectionate and promised to call me that night, his last in the country for God knows how long. He didn't call, which hurt me like caustic acid being poured on a wound. I sent him a text which gently admonished him for his failure to call, also telling him that while I was confused in my feelings for him, I thought that I loved him. This morning, just about two hours before he got on the plane he sent me a message apologising for not having called and saying that while he was stressed out, our last night had been a beautiful one for him. The message was lovely except that it in no way responded to my text. I just don't know what to do. I'm miserable and confused-part of me loves him like hell as well as feeling more lust for him than for any of my previous boyfriends, all of whom have been of my own age. But he has a history of emotional difficulties and has made me no promises. He said before he left that he would keep in touch(he is going to try to get back into the country when he can). I guess I just need someone to tell me no you fool, of course it's not going to work. But at the same time, a tiny part of me needs that less pessimistic voice.So what dy'all think?
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You already know it's over, you just have to get used to the idea. Don't talk to him anymore and it'll feel more right as time goes by. It sounds like the typical non-clean break up story. At least you have your closure now and can get on with your life.
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I don't want to be harsh, but it seems to me that you've answered your own question. This man doesn't love you; whether he is capable of loving anyone is highly questionable. Check out Dr. Tracy Cabot's website, and read the story about the broken popcorn machine. You'll see what I mean.
Good Luck.
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This is a tricky one because men like that are difficult to read at the best of times.
Judging from what you have said, however, I can't help but feel that he's not exactly been as forthcoming as a person would expect if they really cared about you and were leaving the country.
I understand that you're upset an I know you don't want to hear this but it sounds as though he either doesn't know what he wants or he knows what he wants and unfortunately, you may not be it. I'm sorry because I know how dreadfully harsh that sounds but at the same time, you have to put yourself in his shoes. You are leaving the country and don't know if or when you may be returning. If you were him and REALLY cared, I'm sure that you would have said you would call when you got there or e-mail when you got home or something.
The reality of it is, sadly, that he found out he had to leave and in the middle of all this confusion, there was a girl there who wanted him and he took advantage of the situation. If he actually cared, he would have made more of an effort to spend the last few hours of his time in the UK with you. Not to mention he wouldn't have avoided giving you any answers in his text.
It is possible that he is just confused about his feelings and detatching from you now to make it easier but to be brutally honest with you, from what you have said, I don't think he is worth your time. I know older men can be wildly alluring but you need to find a man who can treat you with care and respect, neither of which this man has.
The fact is that no matter what happened to him, you can do better and you can find a guy who wouldn't just take you to the airport but also insist you go with him. There really are men out there who are like that! So don't waste your time on the American who dropped and ran away from you and find that man who will treat you like the princess you're meant to be.
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FORGET HIM! you want something more its obviouse reading your story....You seem to want a commitment and he wont give it to you. If he loved you he wouldnt have not called he would have been the one texting you and nowt the other way around.
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