|
why is he trying to hide our friendship?
Why would a married man lie to his wife about his wherabouts? This is what happened. I've been friends with this man and his wife for the last 3 years. They have both been working out of town for the last year and only come home once a month to pay their bills. Well I had my friend come over for a visit to my appartment. We were just talking and I was filling him in on all the latest town gossip. Nothing was going on sexually for him to feel quilty about, which is why what happend next was so odd to me. His cell phone rang, and he looked hesitant to answer it. Well he decided to answer, and it was his wife. She was asking where he was, and he LIED right in front of me to her! He said he was out "shopping". Then he hung up. He also had this really guilty look on his face. Why would he lie to her? His wife knows we are friends, and that nothing would have happened between us. They both know I am a virgin and saving myself for marriage. Does anyone have any ideas why he would lie to his wife, and why he was acting so quilty? Do you think this might mean there are problems in his marriage?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Your friends behaviour does seem odd, but I think this just proves that however well you know your friends, sometimes their personal relationships are mystifying.
Perhaps the wife is prone to jealousy and the husband spending time with any woman alone, even as a friend, has been a point of contention for them, or something thats caused lots of arguments in their marriage. The husband might have found that it causes less arguments if he just keeps things to himself. This isn't commendable behaviour, but you can understand the temptation to lie when in his mind he's not doing anything wrong knowing that neither of you are interested, and lying prevents arguments.
Lying in front of you however brings you into the lie, and this is problematic, as you are now between them. The chances are it won't come up again, but if it does you need to be proactive and say to the husband that whilst his personal relationship with his wife isn't any of your buisness, it's not fair of him to reveal comprimisng information when you are friends of both him and his wife, as it puts you in an intensely akward situation.
I wouldn't pry into why he lied, as his embarssment and obvious guilt show that he is aware that what he is doing is wrong on some level, and getting any more information will probably only make things worse for you as an unintetional third party to this argument of theirs. If he tries to explain of his own volition I think it would be best to just say that you are sure he knows what is best for his marriage but you don't think its fair to take sides in what should be an issue between the two of them alone. It's natural to be curious about his odd behaviour, but you have to take a step back and let them sort it out on their own. All the best.
]
I am not sure whether or not the situation that you have described signifies problems in their marriage:not neccesarily, and anyway it's not really relevant. The point is that this man is behaving inappropriately to you. The fact that he feels the need to lie to his wife when he is around you suggests to me that he has feelings for you which would not bear too close inspection. Your question doesn't mention the age gap, if any, between you and this couple-I'm assuming that they're older than you. If so, then that makes the situation more dodgy-some older men get a strange vicarious thrill from being around young girls, perhaps especially if those girls are virgins-you're forbidden fruit as yet unplucked, more subtly sexy than some skank ass ho.
Whatever their ages, however, you still need to go carefully. I say avoid him. That's no way for a married man to behave.
]
More Questions: |