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Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also. I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.
If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
advice
i really wana work for a magazine.. ive always wanted my own collumn in one for girls..like an advice column or something.. any ideas on how i can get there? i dont know where to start.
The best thing to do is work on your advice skills now. Being on this site will give you a good idea of what you're getting into as well as give you a chance to work on your skills. Check out other columnists both here and online. Dear Abby, Ann Landers, Ask Claire, Ask Alison, Dear Hana (for teens and young adults), Direct Answers, Help me Harlan (also for teens and young adults), and Lisa Daily are all good ones to take a look at. If you need links to these columns, let me know.
Taking psychology classes, writing classes, and communication classes will all help you. Business classes will also be an asset to you since it will teach you how to better promote your product (your column) and how to negotiate compensation for it.
Know what you're giving advice about. If you don't know about something or you only know a little, don't be afraid to do some research on it. Make a list of commonly needed resources (planned parenthood location, rape hotlines, etc) so you'll have them handy.
If your school has a newspaper, journal or newsletter, try to get on the staff. It will give you a background in the business as well as give you an opportunity to suggest an advice column written by you. Ask your local newspaper if they will consider letting you do an unpaid internship. It will give you a better idea of what goes into something being published. Ask them if they will consider letting you write an advice column for teens on a trial basis.
Once you have examples of your published work and a background in the business, send out some copies of your columns with polite business letters explaining that you noticed that they did not have an advice column and ask if they will take a few moments to look over your work and let you know if your column would be an asset to their paper. Make sure to mention the fact that with a teen advice column, sales to teens will increase. In the business world, they often look at the bottom line, and if your column will increase their sales, they'll be more likely to take you on.
Good luck with your advice column. I wish you the best. If you have any questions about newspapers in general, feel free to drop a note in my inbox. I've been in and around newspapers all my life so I have a pretty good background in the business.
ok well this might be long but please stay with me.
in the beginning of last year i made a knew friend. he was popular and so funny. we got close.and then at the end we got in a argument about the stupidest thing. and now he hates me and even if i tell him sorry it doesnt even work. and hes just so mean to me like always talking behide my back and i cant stand it cause i never talk about him.and like he'll even comment my myspace pictures and go EWW or something and if im in my friends he'll do the same thing cause im friends with a alot of people who he is friends with except for some and like i cant delete the comment either =[ and its not like im ugly, im really not. like i had boyfriends and i have alot of friends and now like he is turning everyone against me and when i try and talk to him .. like you just cant..hes just so friggin mean and i dont kno wat to do. like hes close with my friends and all and when he hangs out with them and im invited i wont go just cause i kno how mean he'll be to me and its embrassing.
please help..and please dont leave mean advice..i hate when people do that and i already had that done to me on myspac =[
thanks
A true friend would never trash you, especially behind your back. If a true friend had a problem with you, they would tell you face-to-face so you could work through the problem.
The best thing to do since he won't talk to you is just stay out of his way and ignore him. He'll get tired of the bs and games once he realizes you're not letting it affect you.
Talk to your friends. Be sure to let them know that you're not asking them to take sides, but to please not invite you and him to the same things. True friends, even if they're friends with both people, will do their best to 1) get him calmed down, and 2) not put either of you in a potentially embarassing or uncomfortable situation.
For abuse on your myspace, you can report it. The moderators take reports of abuse very seriously and will deal with the problem. The page for reporting abuse can be found below.
http://www.advicenators.com/abuse.php
Lastly, don't let this jerk get you down or ruin your friendships. Eventually he'll realize he's being childish and stop.
Good luck and best wishes.
i've counted up the days after my peirod and i think my boyfriend and i missed my ovulation days by a few days everytime. the last time we had sex and i could have been ovulation would have been on the 2nd of this month. and i took a test yesterday that came up negative. do you think i'll have a positive result later on? or should it have showed up by now?
There's no real foolproof method of counting up when you will be ovulating short of buying an ovulation predictor. If you haven't missed a period yet, I wouldn't worry too much. If you have missed a period, it's possible your hormone levels haven't come up enough to show on the test yet. I would give it until your next period is due before trying another test. If it still shows negative and you still haven't had your period, you need to go to the doctor for a blood test and a checkup.
If you're using when you're ovulating to not have sex as a form of birth control, I would consider getting an ovulation predictor. They vary in price depending on where you get them and will be able to tell you when you're ovulating by just testing your saliva or urine for a hormone surge. These work best if you chart the levels. The site below offers low cost ovulation predictors in bulk.
http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/ovulationtests.html
Personally I would switch to a more convenient type of birth control-condoms, the pill, the patch, etc.
Go to your local health department or planned parenthood office and they will help you decide which is best for you as well as provide you with contraceptives at little or no cost. They do this in complete confidentiality so no one has to know. You need to protect yourself from not only pregnancy but also STDs.
Hope this helps.
Okay well im going into the 8th grade and last summer i had a huge crush on this guys.. lets just call him "Jermey" but the entire time i liked him he was so mean to me and always said bad things to me and then during the 7th grade we became best friends. He tells me everything and he truts me and he told me a lot that he liked me but i had finally stopped liking him. But then he told me that somedays he really really really liked me a lot and other days i was just his friend. Towards the end of the year i started to get boyfriend/girlfriend feelings for him again because we kissed a few times and he told me how much he liked me and if it werent summer he woul go out with me but now it is summer and ive only seen him like 3 times and i dont know if he still likes me the way he used but i still like him completly.. no questions about it. I know he's interested in other girls too now, but when he's around me i can tell that he really likes me a lot and only me even if he wont admit it. I saw him yesterday but we didnt talk.. we both seemed really nervous and im worried that he doesnt like me anymore but i dont want to ask him if he still likes me because that would kind of be cheesy.. Please Help!
Ask him on a date. In this day and age, there's nothing wrong with the woman taking the initiative. If he agrees to the date, then you know that he does have feelings for you still without having to ask him flat out. A question you might want to consider, why does he not want to date in the summer?
Ok. There was this baby i was babysitting and a little kid. i put them to sleep and i was watchin TV. then i heard the baby cry. i ran upstairs and the little kid was ontop of the baby! i do not know hwat to do!! i dont want to tell the parents but the baby might be hurt. HELPP
You should tell the parents. First off they need to check the baby for any injuries. Second they need to figure out why the kid was on top of the baby. They won't know unless you tell them.
Trust me, they'll appreciate your concern.
Kay. well I want toned flat abs. Like not the 6 pack looking ones. KInd of like jessica albas. What excerises can I do to have those kind of abs. THx! xOxOx..
Sit-ups, crunches, and twists will all help tone that area. A diet high in fruits, veggies, and lean proteins will also help. Drink lots of water since a lot of stomach weight is actually from bloating and the water will help flush it away. Try to avoid sweets and carbohydrates (breads, pastas) as these often cause bloat and build up as fat in your body.
The following sites offer other ab toning exercises.
http://www.perfect-body-toning.com/stomach-exercises.html
http://www.firmyourabs.com//articles/4-secrets.html
http://www.firmyourabs.com//articles/exercise-guidelines.html
http://www.muscletech.com/TRAINING/BIKINI_ABS/Sexy_Bikini_Abs.shtml
As it gets warmer outside I start wanting to buy a summer dress. This happens every year but I haven't had a proper summer dress since I was 11 years old. I'm 18 now.
Every dress I try on either doesn't fit properly or is just plain unflattering. I'm 5'9 and I weigh around 14 stone. I take a (British) size 18 because i have a large bust. My measurements are as follows Bust=111 cm, Underbust=96cm, Waist=87cm and Hips=110cm. I have basically got an hourglass figure but I'm plumb and buxom to go with it.
My appearence is pretty low maintenence so something quite simple would probably be best.If neccessary I can make the dress myself from a sewing pattern as I just got a sewing machine.
What cut of dress would be flattering and suit my figure?
An A-line dress or something fitted to your bust would be best. I understand how you feel since I also have trouble buying clothes because of my bust. Separates are good as I can get the top in a size to fit my bust and the bottom in a size to fit my lower body. Since I also have a sewing machine, I often buy a dress to fit my bust then take it in on the sides so it fits better. You can find several dress patterns online. Just do a good search for "free dress patterns".
why does it itch done there when u shave and how can i maybe ask my mom that i wanna get a bikini wax ... anyother way i could remove hair with out my mom really knowing
If you're itching down there after shaving, chances are you have the skin irritated. Next time, try soaking in a hot bath for 10-15 minutes before shaving. It will plump up the skin and soften the hairs, making it easier to shave. Always use a new razor when shaving down there. A shave gel or foam made for sensitive skin will also help. Try not to go over the same spot more than twice as this will also cause irritation. Follow up with a soothing lotion.
If you do decide to wax, there are several products on the market for waxing. Just make sure you get a formula made for the bikini area and look for the sensitive skin formula.
okay the problem is when i sweat and stuff my hair gets REALLY frizzy, almost like in the movies when someone gets elecricuted! it sticks up everywhere, and everyone else has perfect hair lying flat on their head while dripping with sweat, and even the slightest bit of sweat and i turn into a puff ball or something! i have soccer tryouts tonight at 4-6 and the rest of the week, and then i have a soccer tournament saturday and sunday, does anyone have some ideas on how i can tame my hair so i dont look like i've been elctricuted while i'm playing soccer?! pleeeeeease help, this has been happening forever and i am sick of it. i rate 5's for answers that arent stupid or unhelpful. ♥
Try a frizz-reducing serum on your hair. There are several on the market and they will help tame your hair.
Home remedies include rubbing a little coconut oil through your hair, shampooing your hair less often, rinsing your hair with 1 tablespoon of baking soda mixed with one cup of water, drink plenty of water, eat lots of fruits and veggies (I know it sounds weird but they will help supply vitamins and minerals to your hair making it healthier and less likely to frizz.), leave conditioner in for about 3 minutes before rinsing or if you have more time wrap your head in a towel after applying conditioner and wait 10-15 minutes before rinsing, and try not to use the blow dryer if you can.
A hot oil treatment used 1-2 times a week will help repair your hair making it less likely to frizz.
A good haircut will also cut down on the frizz. Ask the stylist to thin your hair.
hey. im to young to do it. but i really feel sexual... i always finger myself and get outa countrol. my vaigina is itchy and has white stuff in it... is that a problem!
An itchy vagina and discharge could be a sign of either a vaginal infection or a yeast infection. I would see a doctor ASAP to get this taken care of since it can cause infertility problems down the road if untreated.
ok.. i get my braces off soon (august) and i was wondering if anyone knows any good products to whiten your teeth??? i checked my dentist but the lazer treatment is 500$ and not including the stuff you have to keep putting on your teeth every so often.i just want something cheap and easy to start out with. Thanks!!!
Something as simple as a whitening toothpaste can help. Most toothpaste brands have a whitening formula. Colgate Simply White Night is fairly easy to use. You just apply before you go to bed and it's clinically proven to whiten in 14 days. Crest also has a whitening gel that works while you sleep as well as strips that you can wear for 30 minutes twice a day. Personally I've tried the strips and find them a pain but the gel works great. Oral-B has several whitening options, including strips, a pen (basically gel with an easier applicator), or gloss.
Like many people I bought the new Harry Potter book a few days ago. Mine was the first out of the box( and therefore obviously a first edition) and it looks perfectly normal.
However there is a fault on page 109/110. The pages have been ripped and glued together and then printed oddly. If it was a stamp then it would be instantly valuable. As Harry Potter is collectable I was wondering if anyone knows anything about a faulty print. Is it at all possible that this will become valuable? Should I look after the book especially or just treat it normally?
A faulty printing, especially a first edition, can be valuable. I would put the book away in a safe place for a while to let it's value grow before trying to sell it.
hi, this has been bugging me for ages. when i was 13 i got the chicken pox. i went to the hospital and was seen by a male doctor. he asked me to take my top off to have a better look at my spots. i had them on my arms and body. then he told me to take my cami-top off too so i'd be naked down to my waist. i cried but he insisted it had to be done. so i did and he touched my breasts...all this was to confirm i had chicken pox. thats not normal is it?
It's natural for a doctor to want to examine your body thoroughly. With that said, if he did more than just touch (Did he rub or pinch?), then he was taking it too far and you need to tell your parents and report this doctor to both the hospital and the medical board.
is there any way to well.. reduce the size of my butt? lol. im a really healthy weight but for some reason my butt is like big, and im not anorexic. cause when i wear a bikini the top fits perfect but my butts a lil big. ill take any advice. but dont say wear a diufferent size cause if u saw me you would know i need a smaller butt? any exercises.. etc?
Squats and lunges will both help tone that area. Running and stair climbing will also help. Swimming is an all-over body toner so that's an option also.
When do you first start going to the gynecologist?
Once you get your first period, you should start going to the gynecologist. If you're sexually active, you should definitely go to the gynecologist once a year. They'll check for any abnormalities as well as do a pap smear to screen for cervical cancer.
When I would sit in the tub for like 30-60 minutes, I would notice that the water would get gritty and then I would rub my skin and it would come off!!!!!! Then there was a lot of DIRT or something on the sides or the tub when I got out, is this normal!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Thanks in advance for helping me (IF YOU DECIDE TO BE RUDE THEN I WON'T EVEN RATE YOU!!!!)
It's natural for your skin to shed. It may look like dirt, and some may be, but it's usually just the dead skin cells in the water. New skin cells are created every day and that's the body's way of getting rid of the old.
A gentle exfoliating wash once a week will help keep your skin fresh and glowing. Just look for it in the bath section of your store.
I have a friend but the thing is i don't like her as a friend any more because she is very mean and controling. she still thinks we're friends even though i haven't talked to her in months. she called me and asked me to go to her birthday party how do i tell her that i don't want to go without hurting her feelings? also it is a sleep over thing and i said i could sleep over because of something the next day which is true but she still wants me to go for a few hours the first day! please help i don't want to hurt her feelings!!
Since she still believes your friendship is as strong as ever, you should probably go to her party. Tell her when you get there that something has came up and you won't be able to stay long.
Before the party comes around or after it's over, tell your friend that you haven't been spending a lot of time together and you'd like to get together with her to talk. Tell her that she may not realize it but certain remarks she's made are hurtful and that while you appreciate her concern about you, your life is your choice. She may not realize she's doing it and will appreciate you bringing it to her attention. A true friend will back off rather than ruin a friendship.
Good luck. I wish you the best.
I am 5'1 and 140 lbs. I am really wanting to loose at least 15 lbs. before school starts back because I feel that I am a lil chubby..if anyone knows of any kind of excercises or tips so make this much easier or of a quick weight loss thing that has worked for you..let me know, please?!
Losing weight fast is not healthy for your body. At 2 pounds of weight loss a week, it'll take you about 7 and a half weeks to get the pounds off. It takes 3500 calories burned or decreased to lose a pound. At 5'1 your healthy weight range is 99-132 so you really only need to lose about 8 pounds to be in this range. With diet and exercise, you can be at this weight in a month.
I found the following sites to show you how much calories you burn with activities and exercise. The first one has a great calculator that lets you put in all your exercise for the day and then calculates how many calories you burned. The fourth link is also a calorie calculator but it only calculates one activity.
http://www.healthstatus.com/cbc.html
http://www.nmclites.edu/wellness/caloriesburned.htm
http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=10289
http://www.caloriecontrol.org/exercalc.html
Drinking plenty of water will help get the weight off. A diet high in low-fat dairy products has been found to help lose weight and keep it off.
Switching to lower-fat food alternatives, cutting out sweets and sodas, eating plenty of fruits and veggies, avoiding fried foods, lowering carbohydrate intake (breads, pastas) or switching to healthier versions (wheat or whole-grain bread), and lowering your salt intake (salt makes you retain water) will all help. Lean meats such as chicken and turkey provide lots of protein without the added fat. Spicy foods will rev up your metabolism.
Try "negative calorie foods", a dieter's best friend. These foods burn more calories digesting than they have in them. They include cucumber, celery, asparagus, apples, broccoli, berries, onion, papaya, lettuce, pineapple, and zucchini as well as more. Just go a google for "negative calorie foods" to get a more detailed list.
These sites have toning exercises that will help.
http://www.detlist.com/muscle-toning/
http://www.weightlossresources.co.uk/exercise/body_toning/upper_body.htm
Swimming is an all-over body toner. Crunches will make your stomach appear smaller. Leg lifts will help tone your thighs. Running and stair climbing are both thigh and butt toners.
Just remember that muscle weighs more than fat. However muscle is a good thing to have since it burns fat faster.
Make sure to add a good quality multivitamin (One-a-day is good) to your diet plan. Dieters often run low on some vitamins and minerals since they cut back on foods so the multivitamin will help keep these at healthy levels.
Get enough sleep. Your body needs sleep to take care of itself and when it's lacking on sleep, your metabolism is sluggish and you burn less fat. Don't skip meals. Your first meal of the day gets your metabolism going. If you skip breakfast, your metabolism won't start really going until lunch, making you lose at least 4 hours of calorie-burning.
Good luck with your weight loss. If you have any questions, just drop them in my inbox. I'll be glad to help.
I have an OBGYN appointment next Monday @ 3 o' clock and I was just wondering what all they do because my mom told me that at first they were just going to talk to me and I wouldn't have to have a pap smear but now that she knows about me losing my virginity to my boyfriend *that I am still with* she told me that now I would have to have a pap smear...is this true? Does it hurt? I just want to know everything about it before I go. I rate HIGH for good answers, please no foolish things like look it up unless you have a really good website. Thanks in advance!
A pap smear, while sometimes uncomfortable, is not painful. I think most of the discomfort comes from having your body exposed to a stranger. Try to talk to the gyno or the nurse beforehand so you're somewhat comfortable with them. Then concentrate on taking deep breaths and letting them out slowly to help your body relax. Try to keep your mind off the exam and before you know it, it will be over.
Basically what they'll do is look at your vagina for any infection or abnormalities. You'll lay back on the table, scoot your butt towards the end of the table, and put your feet in holders called stirrups. Then they'll tell you to let your legs drop open. They'll insert a tool called a speculum (I always though it looked kinda like salad tongs.) inside you to hold you open and insert a long Q-tip like thing in to scrape some cells from your cervix. These cells will be tested for cancer and infection. It doesn't hurt, just feels weird.
Since you're now having sex it's always a good idea to keep up with your pap smears and pelvic exams. Having sex can push harmful bacteria into your vagina where the hot, damp atmosphere will help it grow fast. The reason your mom is insisting on the pap smear is because certain STDs have been linked to increased chance of cervial cancer. Having sex before the age of 18 is also linked to increased chance of cancer.
Some things you need to know before your exam. Do not have sex for at least 24 hours before the exam. Make sure you're not on your period. Do not use any douches, vaginal creams, etc for 2 days before the exam. All of these can either wash away or hide abnormal cells from site.
While you're at the gyno, discuss options for birth control and protecting yourself against STDs if you plan on continuing to have sex.
Hope this helps explain. Good luck.
Ahh Ok well..well..i'm only in 8th grade..and all i ever do is dump boys! I dont cheat or anything and people call me a slut for dumping tthem in such quick time!..Idk what to do!..
help!!=(((((((
Figure out why you're dumping them. Is it because they bore you? Wait a little longer before jumping into a relationship to make sure this person keeps your interest. Is it because you're scared of commitment? Don't rush into anything until you're sure about the guy.
Take a break from dating while you figure out what you're seeking in a relationship. Sometimes taking a step back can show you where you're messing up.