I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 64981
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how do you dump a guy without hurting his feelings? (link)
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Answer: You can't. If a guy really likes you, no matter how nice you are to him, he will be upset.
However, you can find a way to soften the blow and make it a little easier. Try to avoid cliches like "it's not you, it's me" because no matter how many times you say that to someone, it always WILL be them. Try to explain it that you care a lot about him and that's why you need to end it now and that it wouldn't be fair to string him along. You're sorry you had to do this but you hope he will still be your friend.
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okay, well my friend got fingered for the first time the other day and now she's been worrying about it. she think's that she is pregnant but i'm telling her that she can't be because it's totally impossible because she didn't have sex or anything. and she hasn't gotten her period and she's 2weeks late. i told her that i think it's because she doesn't have a regular period, because she hasn't had it for over 2years and normally that's when it starts getting regular. her boyfriend only fingered her, she didn't do anything to him so i'm really not sure what to tell her except that she isn't pregnant. what do you guys think?
PS. when she got fingered after she bled alittle, and i told her that maybe he scratched her or something because you never know. (link)
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The most likely conclusion is that no, she isn't pregnant. The only way you can conceive through fingering is if there is sperm on the guy's fingers at the time. As she had not done anything to him, the chances of this are slim to be non (also for your friend's benefit - a guy CAN get you pregnant without climaxing. Putting it delicately, when they're excited they leak.)
As for her period being late, it's always a good idea to see your GP when this sort of thing happens. Many things can affect your period. Stress, diet, antibiotics, you name it so if she's concerned, get her to see her doctor. And tell her not to worry, she'll be fine.
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I'm 16, almost 17. When I was a freshmen I started dating this guy, who wasn't the best guy in the world. The bad guy type, does drugs, gets in trouble, gets drunk on weekends. I look back now and I don't know what I was thinking. But I was with him for a year. My parents hated him, yea you know how it is. Drama in the household. Eventually we had to break it off because of my parents. We still talk every couple of months or so. But I got in a relationship with a guy, and I've been with him for 8 months now and I know I love him, but I still keep thinking about my x. And there is no way I could ever get back with my x or even want too. But I can't help but think about him. I always wonder if he's thinking about me or how he's doing. I know my boyfriend now is the best thing I have right now so I don't want to end it with him, but I don't know why I keep thinking about my x. What should I do?
(link)
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Your ex was a bad boy. He brought you a lot of trouble, probably more than he was worth. But there is always an element of excitement to that sort of relationship as well. A sort of thrill about never knowing what will happen next and being made to do all the chasing.
Chances are, things with your boyfriend have started to cool down a little and you're becoming a more stable couple and a part of you misses the excitement.
Get back a little of the excitement with your boyfriend and you may find your worries disappear.
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My boyfriend is way too clingy! he is driving me and my family crazy! Every night he calls me at least 30 times and if I don't pick up he keeps calling and leaving me annoying messages! All he thinks about is me, and I'm not even sure he actually has any friends. I tell him NOT to call sometimes and he does anyways, so I have to unplug the phone because it bothers my family alot. I like him, but man, he needs to stop being so clingy.
What can I do? // How can I set him straight? He never listens to me, so what should I say? Should I break up with him? (link)
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This is a very difficult issue and to be honest, there will be no easy way out.
The situation itself is relatively simple. He's super-clingy and you don't need someone like that in your life. He's not the sort of guy you can imagine being with for a long time, judging by what you have said so the best thing is for you to get out.
However, this is where it becomes more complicated. Men who display clingy tendencies such as this when in relationships tend to become very possessive later on in life when in very stable relationships. Flip side of this being that there are strong behavioural similarities when you break up with them. For example, they may be around even more, at least to begin with. The behaviour stems from very low self esteem and breaking up with people like this, can often worsen the situation to begin with.
If you break up with him, make sure you let your family know what is going on. Tell him that you think it's best you don't see each other any more and make it CLEAR - be firm but fair about it - why. This will hopefully get the message across but just don't expect the clingy behaviour to disappear straight away. As I say, he may bearound more often and he may contact you more often, because he wants to get you back. If you do your best to make it clear he won't be getting you back, this should fade away. But depending on how bad he is, you need to be prepared for the fact he may be very difficult to get rid of.
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14/f. My boyfriend just turned 17. I am a virgin, he isn't. He's had sex with 2 people. We have been together for probably about 4 months. He respects me and I know he loves me and always wants to spend time with me. I know that he wants to have sex but tries his best to repect what I want. I sort of want to have sex, I know he loves me and cares about me. But there is another guy who I talked to before I knew him and he was in love with me. For some reason I stopped talking to him. And I'm just confused about what I want. Please give me advice, and when you have sex, do you immediately start to bleed your first time? and how much? I will rate. (link)
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The first thing you should know is that you should never have sex if you're unsure of what you want. If you don't know for sure that you definitely want to have sex with this guy, then you really should not do it. After all, you really don't want to end up regretting your first time.
I don't want to go all preachy on you either buta at 14 you shouldn't really be even considering having sex. Obviously, I'm in no position to stop you but I do want to give you fair warning. Other than the obvious risks, having sex opens up doors to many other avenues which, at 14, you shouldn't be having to deal with. Really, you should be making the most of your innocence right now until you know that it is right.
That being said, the choice is up to you. You sound confused right now and I think before you even consider a physical relationship, you need to work out what it is you want. Sex is a big deal. So don't do anything for now until you know what you want for sure.
If you do decide to have sex with him, just remember that you need protection. Condoms prevent against infection and disease but make sure you're on the pill in case a condom breaks. As for bleeding, most women do bleed a little but it really depends on the person as to when. I know that some women do bleed immediately afterwards, whereas it didn't happen with me until the following morning.
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OK...soo well i've always been pretty close with my boyfriends mom. and well now i dont know what to think. she's never really seen me and her son do anything. but last night she saw me on top of him making out in the hottub...and i dont know whatelse she saw.
is there anything i can do that would hopefully make her not think im a slut and stuff like that? becuase right now she donest think to highly of me (link)
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Well that really depends because there are a number of factors here which could affect exactly how badly she thinks of you right now.
For example, if you're still quite young, or if your boyfriend is younger than you. As an extension of this, if you are his first 'real' girlfriend. Also, how long you have been together and how long you have known her matters a lot.
But to be honest, there are only two ways you can handle this. You can either ignore it altogether and pretend like it happened. I don't know what she is like but most mothers in this situation would ignore it too.
On the other hand, you could sit down and talk to her about it, woman to woman. It will be VERY embarrassing but at the end of the day, if you were doing anything like it sounds as though you were doing, you do need to apologise to her. If it is her house, you need to apologise for being disrespectful to her in any way. You also need to explain to her that you do care about her son and that you wouldn't behave that way with just anyone. The chances are, she probably is concerned that doing stuff like that so comfortabley in open air may be regular practise for you and it will all come back to what sort of effect this will all be having on her son. If you can get him to be with you when you talk to her, all the better because depending on the type of person she is, you may need someone defending your corner!!
But the most important part of this is the apology. You need to say that you're really sorry and that it won't happen again and tell her how embarrassed you were by the whole thing. Hopefully, she'll remember that you are a good person and that she needs to give you another chance.
Good luck!
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hi, im almost 16 and ive never been kissed and never had a boyfriend...is this as bad as it seems?...and not jus girls points of veiw plz. ive had chances but never made anything of them...am i that big of a loser, i think that im attractive and im smart and a good person so whats wrong?will rate high!!!!all 5's (link)
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Oh please don't think you're a loser!!!
I didn't get my first kiss til I was 17 years old and it was two weeks off my 18th birthday!! I'm nearly 21 now and I'm still with the same guy.
Although there is a lot of peer pressure surrounding kissing and sex and relationships, there's nothing wrong with saying 'no' and waiting until it feels right for YOU. After all, would you rather be like the majority of people, who say "I remember my first kiss at a school disco. Neither of us knew what we were doing. It wasn't that nice actually!" or would you rather be able to say it was on a wonderful date, with a guy you really felt something for and it was a kiss that actually meant something?
You only get one first kiss and there is NOTHING wrong with waiting until it will be one that counts an there should be more people out there that realise that.
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if love was a question would you answer it? even if it made you feel sad, or mad, or dissapointed or insecure? (link)
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Always. Love is a tricky issue because it brings about so many other emotions. But it's ALWAYS better to have experienced love that to leave it and never know what it was like. To love is to live and the world would be a hopeless place without it.
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hi! well im 15/f
and lately me and my friend have been hangin out with these guys we just met! well not exactly..i mean we know who they are but we just hang out with them for the first time! and i can never tell my parents the truth ..that im hangin out with guys because they like NEVER let me hang out with guys. they are always like how do you know them? and im like school..then they are like well how come we dont know who they are. and i dont do the whole bringing them to the house and meet my parents thing..our family isnt like that! my dad is very protective of me..because im the only girl in the family im his little girl! i have one older brother..and they let him do whatever he wants with whoever he wants! but i dont ever get to hang out with guys because im a girl. i dont communicate well with my parents at alL! what can i do to help this situation?
i will rate high!
thanks :) (link)
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The problem here is all because of the lack of communication. If you want to fix this problem, without lying (it is IMPERITIVE that you don't lie to them about something like this. Other than being dangerous, it will also land you in more trouble than it's worth if you get caught!) you will need to open up those lines of communication and tell them about him.
If you explain to them that they are really nice guys that you are just friends with and nothing more, that's a good start. However, if they are really that protective of you then they will NEED to meet them before they can give you the okay to hang out with them. Rather than make it formal, you could wait til the next time you're hanging out and then ask if they want to come back and hang out at your place for a bit. Get some food and drinks or something.
This would allow your parents to meet them 'grill them', if you like but the atmosphere will be a lot less formal.
I know it's not what you wanted to hear but this really is going to be the safest way to deal with this situation. If you try to tell your parents about them without giving the chance to meet them personally then you can guarantee it will be a straight 'no' because they will worry you're hiding something. So bring them round and show them you have nothing to hide and they're just friends.
Good luck!
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k so i've had a major crush on this guy brian but his best friend davis has a crush on me and now its ruining everything... its like a competition because i'm pretty sure my crush likes me too, i wish davis didn't like me and wouldn't care about me and brian.. haha so basically i don't even know what to ask besides how do i fix the problem?
this is a really hard question i know but seriously ANY advice is worth hearing
*i'm a 15 yr old girl if that matters (link)
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Have you told Davis that you don't feel the same? It seems to me that perhaps he's not sure over this and that may be why this competition is going on between the two of them. What you really need to do is to clear the air between yourself and the both of them.
It doens't matter too much in what order you do this but you need to tell Brian that you like him and was wondering if he wanted to go out with you. If he says yes, you also need to explain your concerns over Davis, so that he is aware of the situation if he isn't already.
You also need to speak to Davis and make it clear to him that you see him as a friend but not as anything more. Do NOT tell him that you like Brian at this point, unless Brian agrees to go out with you before this conversation takes place, in which case it's better that he hears it from you than someone else. Explain to him that he's a nice guy but there's no chemistry and he needs to find himself a girl who really will care about him.
If you can explain it to him clearly enough, he should understand and back off, if he's a nice guy, leaving you with Brian.
Good luck!
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I am 21 yrs old and have been dating this guy for 3&1/2 yrs now (started my senior year of highschool) and I love him very much, but for the last year or so Ive gotten to the point where I just don't know if I can see us together forever anymore (like all girls dream) and am wondering if I should stay or go. We have been getting into alot more fights, way more easily than before and most of them are due to the fact that he is obsessed with video games and puts them ahead of hanging out with me all the time. Lately, hes gotten into this new game that has quests with alot of people on certain days of the weeks; scheduled quests. And he decides to not hang out with me and play instead even though its a friday night which is one of my nights off (no college the next day or work). We rarely see each other the way it is this semester due to classes and work and homework that this is ruining my time with him and it bugs me how he doesn't care. Even when we do hang out, when I come over to his house I have to get him off his game and its hard work. I just don't feel like a priority anymore, and because of this I get angry easier and then make him mad and we get into fights. He thinks I nag on him too much and I think he doesn't prioritize me enough. I love him sooo much, hes very honest and true to me, but I'm to the point where I'm jealous of a game?! This just doesn't feel right. The only other thing (other than his good points) stopping me from breaking it off with him is the fact that we have a class together and i don't want to have this stuff affect my grades and I am very 'addicted' to him (i love him soo much and dont know how to live without him anymore). Should i stay With him? Should i break it off? If so, when? Thanks for any advice you can give me.
(link)
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It sounds as though your boyfriend is displaying tendencies to over-commit, which can be a good thing but not when it's a video game.
You haven't said whether or not you have sat him down and tried to tell him what the problem is and why you get angry with him so often but I expect you have and maybe it hasn't worked. If this is the case, you may need to consider breaking it off. It's terrible to imagine life without someone when you've been with them for so long but can you imagine the rest of your life striving for attention above a video game?
If you really don't think there's any way he's going to give up the game and there's no way you can join him in his little world, then perhaps you are best off calling the relationship to an end. You need to explain to him that you need to have someone who wants to be with YOU and not someone who only wants to be with you when there's a power cut and he can't play his games! All you can do is hope that in doing this, he'll eventually see sense and will learn that there's more to life that some lights on a screen.
The only other thing I can say is that it sounds as though you can deifinitely do better and however you feel about him, imagine how much better someone who treats you right could make you feel. That's the sort of person you deserve, so get out there and find him!
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ok so I have this friend who is over weight. all of my freinds and I are as skinny as a rail. I'm sure it's hard for her but she doesn't show it. So, the other day her and I went to the mall and we saw these ah-dorable string bikinis. Here is the other thing my freinds and I are all 32 As and 34 As. We don't have big chest so we can wear any bathing suit we want and not look like we are "falling out". Well my freind is a 36 B and she always wears string bikinis. Summer is coming fast and I see people look at her at the pool. She seriously looks like she is falling out and she alwasy crosses her arms over her stomach until we get into the pool. I have talked to my mom about this before but it's embaressing to me and my other freinds. We are so comfortable about our shape and it's awkward a lot. Is there a way i can talk to my freind about getting a better bathing suit without her getting mad at me? It's hard for all of us. (link)
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You could take her to a shop to look for swimming costumes/bikinis and try to pick out something that would look flattering on her. Vertical stripes are meant to be very slimming.
However, if she is comfortable with her appearence then perhaps you don't want to be challenging that? Most people who are overweight refuse to even go to a swimming pool for fear of people laughing at them, whereas your friend has the dignity and self confidence to go in spite of this and wear what she wants. She may not look the same as you and your friends but perhaps rather than criticise and try to change her, you should be proud of her for not caring what other people think and doing what she feels comfortable with. If only more people in the world could be the same, a lot less people would suffer unnecessarily at the hands of others.
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Okay im 13
4'11
and i weigh 92 pounds
i want to lose weight but my doctor said it would be unhealthy. so im kind of looking to tone-up my body in a more healthy way. and i'm not aloud to go on a diet
:-/
anything helps!
i rate high!
thanks (link)
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If you don't want to lose weight, you need to ensure that regardless of what exercise you do, you eat enough calories to compensate for the ones you are burning up.
If you don't want to lose weight, you're best off doing a low impact exercise like yoga or pilates. They are excellent at toning the body but don'ttend to burn off a lot of fat. You can buy books and videos online or in most video stores or you can try your locak gym or fitness centre for classes.
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i met my my man about 10 months ago, and things between us love-wise couldnt be better. no guy has ever treated me as good as he does, and i cant say ive ever been this happy before. he would, and does do anything in the world for me. and i love him with all my heart. our families are really close, and have been since WAY before we were both born. we've got so many things in common, and we plan on getting married in a few years. but he's been doing horrible in school, and although i do give him credit for occassionally getting a 'C' or a 'D' instead of an 'F'- he got his progress reports back, and they were HORRIBLE!- his parents are taking away his car, and are making him quit his job in the hopes that maybe he'll get his act together. i cant take it anymore! i have tried SOOOO hard to talk some sense into him. ive tried telling him that he's ruining 'our' future by getting bad grades. i ask him all the time what kind of job he expects on landing with grades as bad as they are, and he ALWAYS tells me he's trying, but that he doesnt wanna talk about it- and every progress report is no much better than the last. i really dont know what to do. his mother is forever telling him that im gonna leave him if he doesnt get it together, because i can do 'so much better'- and im getting curious as to if i really can. someone PLEASE tell me what to do. both male and female opinions would help on this one. thank you soooo much. i'll rate high on ALL ANSWERS- good or bad. (link)
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A lot of people who do badly in school do so because of external problems and it might not be anything to do with you. For example, you say his Mother tells him that you can do a lot better than her own son. That's really going to destroy a lot of his self esteem and self confidence. Especially if at times he is trying hard and not getting anywhere.
What you really need to do is to encourage him. Positive encouragement always does better than negative reinforcement. See if you can persuade his parents and others around him to offer to help him with his studies, rather than criticising when he doesn't do well.
Also, try doing something positive when he does better, like going out somewhere nice. Most of all, you need to reassure him that you aren't going anywhere. That you love him and will support him whatever happens but that you're concerned for his future and want to help him. Then see if there's anything you can do to help him study. If he has always been like this, there may be a deeper issue that needs to be looked into but either way, the only way you will find out is by sitting down and having a real chat with him about it.
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I know i wrote before..and i wanna thank you for the advice..it helped..
the thing is.. yeh she did see me as mr. perfect sort of thing..but now well since valentines day she started going out with this guy which kind of made things weired..dont know how to explain really...
I know that she is only a friend...but i never want anything to come between us..she is 1 in a million and so so so special..i wouldnt risk our friendship for anything in this world...n if i knew what i did on valentines would of come out like this then i never would have done it..but i cant take it back so im trying to make the future better i guess...
I am not only dissapointed about that but she is right, i wasnt like some boys that will cheat on girls...i would treat them with respect never mess around or anything...and by doing this made me think...maybe i am just like the rest...i am dissapointed with myself...
Sanj (link)
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I understand. But the thing you have to remember is that in some respects, you always WILL be like the others. Men tend to be very different to women and the majority view the world in a different way when it comes to relationships and sex. But you are WAY above the rest of them because you realise the way that women should be treated and that is exactly what will set you apart from all the others as you get older.
It may take some time for her to come around but at the end of the day, you made a mistake and at 14, you're allowed to. If we don't make mistakes, how can we learn to put things right when they go wrong or learn what hurts us or the people around us?
Given your feelings for her, it's bound to make you feel a little weird when she starts seeing someone else. Who knows what will happen in the future though? Maybe you will get together at some point. You seem like a really nice guy so I sincerely hope so.
The best thing you can do right now is to tell her what you've told me. That you regret what happened because of how it has alienated her and that she's very important to you so you don't want your friendship to be affected by this.
Most of all, you need to forgive yourself. You made a mistake and as time goes on, you'll make plenty more of them. As long as you learn something from them, mistakes are never 100% bad.
Don't worry about your friend. She'll come around in time.
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haha so yeah tomorrow i'm making out with this guy that likes me, and i like him, and i'm really excited BUT I've never made out with anyone, let alone kiss him, and i'm soo nervous and anxious and stuff. like.. what if just freeze andi don't know what to do (that happened to my friend) and... ahh! anyone help? cause i'm really nervous :( lol and how do i start it?
any help is great
thank youuuuu (link)
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First kisses are TERRIFYING!! (So terrifying I was 17 before I got my first kiss! but that's beside the point!)
Usually, if you really like someone, it just comes very naturally. All you need to do is see where he's going and then fit in. Then when you're in the lip-lock stage, as I call it, you move your lips and head in a similar way to how he does. It's very difficult to explain but basically, wherever his lips move, yours move too.
The only occasionally difficult part is when tongues get involved. You can use a little bit of tongue so that when you kiss him, you're almost slightly licking his bottom lip at the same time, or you can go for the scary french-kiss tongue, where one or other of you have your tongue in the other's mouth. This isn't too hard as long as you get the tongue movement right and remember to swallow first! Remember to use your tongue slowly and rather than run it all inside his mouth, just literally poke it and out a couple of times, so that it rubs against his tongue a little.
Most of all you HAVE to remember to relax. The problem with kissing is that people always put too much thought into a first kiss. What you need to focus on most is that he likes you and you like him and it's something you both want to do. You can't expect it to be great to begin with because you'll both be nervous. If anything happens, you laugh it off, try again and hopefully get better with the experience.
Just relax into it and most all, enjoy it!
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ok so im 15/f and i think i might have some mental health problems, not like crazy but i have anxeity attacks, alot of people say i have OCD, i think i might have ADD, but also my family thinks im a hypochrondriac so its hard to convince them somethings wrong with me. i want to get tested because i feel so different from my family. i cant concentrate when i do hw and study, i have a hard time retaining information, i can get moody really easily, i have panic attacks like monthly about school, life, anything can set it off, theres just so much that i feel that theres something wrong with me otherwise i wouldnt have all the problems. how do i get help, tested, and how do i convince my parents that somethings wrong with me? please help, i tried asking them for getting tested for ADD and they laughed and said i always think somethings wrong with me. please i rate 5's! (link)
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You're 15, you're studying for exams, being asked to think about your future and there's a lot of pressure in your life right now so it's perfectly normal for you to be suffering with some anxiety.
Usually, if parents believe there really might be something wrong, they will do something about it but it does sound as though your parents are dismissing your problems rather too soon. Even if you don't have ADD, you do sound as though you are having problems coping with whatever might be going on in your life and it's important that this issue gets dealt with.
Try talking to your parents and try to put to them that you're struggling and you're concerned you aren't coping as well as you could be right now. You may not have a great deal of life experience but the fact is that you know when something is wrong with you and, even if they don't agree, you need to sort this out now. So tell them you think it would be a good idea to speak to a doctor and maybe speak about counselling. The GP will then assess your symptoms and if you do have something like ADD, s/he would pick up on it.
So have a chat with them, unemotionally, and see what happens.
Good luck.
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hes been my best friend since school started.. now he seems more than a friend..he sends me sweet text messages and IMs but at school its not like that.. he only shows the way he feels through written words but he totally has me in a way nobody has made me feel before, he's my date to my banquet next week
i want so bad to be his girlfriend how do i show him without words that i like him? how do i get him to feel more comfortable in person instead of the computer and talking on the phone? i sound like a complete dork i know but i've been crazy for this guy even before we were best friends... (link)
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It's quite possible that he's just shy of showing that he likes you to your face. After all, it's easy to tell someone that you like them over a text message when they're not around and you don't have to deal with their reactions face to face. The very fact that he's your date to a banquet puts your chances with him in a very positive light.
If you want to show him without words, it's a little difficult without knowing you. However, perhaps when you go to the banquet with him, you can start off by holding hands and maybe when you leave, you can give him a kiss on the cheek and see where it goes. Maybe if there's dancing, you can slow dance with him but hold him tight while you do.
At the end of the day though, although actions speak louder than words, they're not always as clear and as men are not always as clued up on subtlety as we'd like, you could see if you can pluck up the courage to say that you have started having feelings for him and ask if there's any way he would consider being anything more than just your friend.
I wish you the best of luck!
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Ok, this is a pretty long story so if you are not after long stories dont bother reading on..
First thing is first.. i am 14/m (gonna b 15 in a month or 2)
Basically my best friend is a girl..and i have known her since we were little..then in primary schoool she left and went to another school, since then we did not talk...but in high school we met up again and ended up in same class..we became extremly close over the years....Just about as close os best friends can become...cut a long story short...i ended up faling for her..i told her..at first she did not feel the same but then she told me she did but things were complicated then a few weeks later she told me she feels more comfortable as friends. So i respected her decision and left it as that...
Meanwhile i have this other friend...basically she a is really horny girl putting it nicely i guess...and i have a sort of weak spot for girls like that and on valentines day just gone me and this girl went out and she ended up giving me head in the cinemas...
I told me best friend and she didnt take it well...she totally lost her respect for me and wont even look at me..i gave it a week or so and then spoke 2 her..she has told me i have changed BIG TIME and most of it coming down to interaction with this other friend and how i have no self control because i let the cinema incident happen.
So i have kind of sort of patched things up with her, i have asked my best friend for a clean slate..i dont want 2 lose her for anything in this world..
She agreed but i know things will never be the same...
Is there anything that i can say or do to help make things work...i care about her more than anything and if i thought what i did on valentines day was going to mess things up like it has i never would have done it...
Would appreciate any help anyone would give.. (link)
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Here's the thing. As you were growing up with this girl, she saw you as her friend. Someone who was trustworthy, kind, decent and most of all innocent in some respects.
Suddenly, she has had this image shattered and you've fallen from this pedestal and that's going to be hard for her to deal with. You're no longer 'Mr Perfect'and are instead like a lot of the other guys out there. I can understand why she is upset, as for anyone to do something like this in an open cinema is shocking but for her 14 year old best friend...it's going to be a major shock to her system.
The only thing you can do is to sit her down and try to talk to her properly about it and tell her your concerns. You also need to let her know that you still have feelings for her but that, as they aren't reciprocated, there's no reason for you not to move on and do whatever you want with whoever you want (although it's better if you phrase that in a friendlier way). By admitting you still have feelings for her, it also gives her an opportunity to tell you if she feels the same.
Above all, you need to remember that unfortunately, people do change as they get older and it's not always possible to continue the same relationships with people that we had as children. She may be upset that you changed but there's nothing you can do about that because you're simply becoming the person you are meant to be. If she cares about you at all, she can't ask more of you than to be yourself.
Good luck. I really hope this works out for you.
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Ok, well i basically have two questions.
The first is about my heart. Sometimes when im standing and i twist my body back and fourth, i hear my heart grinding.. anybody know what thats about?
And secondly, sometimes i dream while i'm awake. No, not day dreaming. It's like an actual dream that i'm not controlling playing it my mind. Sometimes it's like watching a movie. Does anyone know what that's about?
Thanks..! (link)
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Unfortunately I can't answer about the heart because I really can't think of anything that might cause such a sensation. However, I would recommend that if you have noticed any difficulties breathing or similar symptoms, you ought to speak to your doctor about it, just to be on the safe side.
As far as the dreaming while you're awake, it's nothing to worry about. It is a little odd but I prefer to put it down to a fertile imagination. I do exactly the same thing (oddly enough it used to be normally in my maths lessons....can't think why!). These 'movie' type scenarios are actually what is properly known as daydreaming. The difference between this and what a lot of people tend to think of as daydreams is that what you see is very vivid and real, like when you dream at night time but you're wide awake. You don't see anything around you or hear anything around you because you are dreaming.
If it is happening on a very regular basis (more than two times a day is what I would tend to think of as relatively normal) then you may want to speak to someone to make sure there's no medical problem that causes this distraction. Otherwise, you're just a normal healthy person with a normal healthy imagination!
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