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TOO CLINGY!
My boyfriend is way too clingy! he is driving me and my family crazy! Every night he calls me at least 30 times and if I don't pick up he keeps calling and leaving me annoying messages! All he thinks about is me, and I'm not even sure he actually has any friends. I tell him NOT to call sometimes and he does anyways, so I have to unplug the phone because it bothers my family alot. I like him, but man, he needs to stop being so clingy.
What can I do? // How can I set him straight? He never listens to me, so what should I say? Should I break up with him?
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You've already tried talking to him, but you still have a few options. Why does he call you so many times? Try to figure out why and then work from that. For example, if it's because he thinks of something else he wants to tell you and is afraid that he is going to forget or can't hold it in, suggest that he write it down to tell you the next day. I've actually done that before. It's commen for that kind of thing to happen in the beginning of a relationship because you have so much to say. I didn't want to be annoying so whenever I thought of something I wanted to tell my boyfriend I would jot it down on a notepad and whip it out the next time we talked. My advice is to have your parents talk to him. Have them lay down the rules. I think that will work. A civilized face to face conversation without you present. If that doesn't work threaten to break up with him if he continues. If he still can't control himself yes, break up with him. If he's really into you, he will tell you how he's going to change and all that good stuff. Don't get back together with him for at least a month no matter how much he says he will change. Your point won't be made if you start dating again right away. Also, don't plan on getting back together with him. If it happens, that's great, but if you find someone else that's great too. Try to be patient with him. It doesn't seem like he has very many social skills yet. I wish you the best of patience and luck.
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This is a very difficult issue and to be honest, there will be no easy way out.
The situation itself is relatively simple. He's super-clingy and you don't need someone like that in your life. He's not the sort of guy you can imagine being with for a long time, judging by what you have said so the best thing is for you to get out.
However, this is where it becomes more complicated. Men who display clingy tendencies such as this when in relationships tend to become very possessive later on in life when in very stable relationships. Flip side of this being that there are strong behavioural similarities when you break up with them. For example, they may be around even more, at least to begin with. The behaviour stems from very low self esteem and breaking up with people like this, can often worsen the situation to begin with.
If you break up with him, make sure you let your family know what is going on. Tell him that you think it's best you don't see each other any more and make it CLEAR - be firm but fair about it - why. This will hopefully get the message across but just don't expect the clingy behaviour to disappear straight away. As I say, he may bearound more often and he may contact you more often, because he wants to get you back. If you do your best to make it clear he won't be getting you back, this should fade away. But depending on how bad he is, you need to be prepared for the fact he may be very difficult to get rid of.
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Tell him to grow some balls
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Hey. Have you told him if he calls you you'll get in trouble with your parents (even if you don't really get in trouble... just so he won't call or he won't call as much). Tell him that your parents are very upset that he calls so much and said that if he keeps calling that many times they will change the phone number and he won't be allowed to call at all. You could even suggest him not calling you AT ALL (or only once a day or every two or three days or every Saturday) and say you'll call him. TTry saying something that will SCARE him into not calling you so much (any other way he won't understand... eventually he'll keep calling until you pick up... i've had that before).
I think there is a more serious issue here. Him calling you so much can mean he is very possesive. You might really have to consider breaking up with him if he doesn't give you space because it can make you very unhappy.
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I know exactly where your coming from.
i was in a relationship just like that. You should prob. end it Asap because if you continue on with him things will just get worse.
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Ok well this will just mess you up....get out of it ASAP.....he will make you depressed and all of that junk........you will get more with breaking up then u would with staying with him!
*~*~*~Raider*~*~*~
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ok...you need to get out of that relationship immediately....dating a clingy guy wil do nothing but make you depressed and sad...and just annoyed you will lose all your social life...so hun just get out of it while you can...trust me...the phone calls are only the beginng..i went through the same exact thing...only for a year and a half...
good luck
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Tell him not to call you a lot and why.
Make something up like your parents will take away the phone and you won't have any privileges to use it.
Or say it annoys you that he calls a lot.
Or that you need some space.
And if you don't get any space
then you will get suffocated and you won't be happy
and I'm sure he wants you to be happy.
Maybe he doesnt have much friends.
People get bored.
You should talk to him for an hour or so
and say that's enough for today.
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