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sex?
14/f. My boyfriend just turned 17. I am a virgin, he isn't. He's had sex with 2 people. We have been together for probably about 4 months. He respects me and I know he loves me and always wants to spend time with me. I know that he wants to have sex but tries his best to repect what I want. I sort of want to have sex, I know he loves me and cares about me. But there is another guy who I talked to before I knew him and he was in love with me. For some reason I stopped talking to him. And I'm just confused about what I want. Please give me advice, and when you have sex, do you immediately start to bleed your first time? and how much? I will rate.
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hey sweetheart. let me tell you about my experience. im 16 almost 17 and about 6-7months ago i lost my virginity to someone who i thought might be the perfect guy to lose it to. we were pretty close and everything...and i figured that i wouldnt regret it. i wasnt dating him tho...so my situation was different from yours. but the guy i hooked up with was one of my really good friends. i thought hed be the last person to turn his back on me. well he and i ended up having sex and now i wish i had never done it. losing my virginity was prolly the biggest mistake i ever made. i really wish i was still a virgin. my best advice to you is to not have sex. you are only 14 years old and if you have sex now you are going to regret it. chances are that you and your boyfriend will not be together forever. im not sayin you wont be...but you arent even in highschool yet. so i wouldnt count on it. highschool changes things. its just how life is. but the point is...dont have sex if you are having doubts and stuff. and by what you said it seems like you are having doubts. sex isnt as important as people make it out to be. and if your boyfriend thinks that yall need to have sex...then he isnt a very good boyfriend. but it doesnt seem like your boyfriend is like that at all...just...dont make that same mistake that i did. keep your virginity. its something you can never get back. hope i was at least some help. message me back if you ever need anything else. good luck with everything.<3
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okay well im almost 16 and my boyfriends 17 too.. but he respects me enough to not have sex even if he wanted to. if you have any doubts about his love for you or most importantly your love for him, dont do it. this is such a big thing in your life and if you arent sure pleaseee dont throw it all away at 14. the other guy who is in love with you, if you have any feelings toward him take that into consideration. of course dont cheat on your boyfriend but if you have feelings for this other guy thats a whole nother reason to not have sex. i hope i helped!!
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Being best friends with Vikki normally makes me immediately inclined to disagree with her, lol! But she's absolutely right, it's really not a good idea to be having sex at 14. Apart from your age, you don't seem like you're sure that you even want to have sex with him! At the moment you say you "sort of" want to have sex, which to me suggestes you're not ready for it if you're not 100% sure. Remember that you can NEVER take back your first time. Sounds like you have a very understanding boyfriend, and by all means have sex with him further down the line - but only when you're absolutely sure that it's what you want. And you're more than welcome to ignore my advice and do it anyway, but I definitely would suggest that you sort out how you feel about this other guy whatever you decide to do with your boyfriend, as it's clearly messing with your head, which is never good! Hope I helped! :)
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The first thing you should know is that you should never have sex if you're unsure of what you want. If you don't know for sure that you definitely want to have sex with this guy, then you really should not do it. After all, you really don't want to end up regretting your first time.
I don't want to go all preachy on you either buta at 14 you shouldn't really be even considering having sex. Obviously, I'm in no position to stop you but I do want to give you fair warning. Other than the obvious risks, having sex opens up doors to many other avenues which, at 14, you shouldn't be having to deal with. Really, you should be making the most of your innocence right now until you know that it is right.
That being said, the choice is up to you. You sound confused right now and I think before you even consider a physical relationship, you need to work out what it is you want. Sex is a big deal. So don't do anything for now until you know what you want for sure.
If you do decide to have sex with him, just remember that you need protection. Condoms prevent against infection and disease but make sure you're on the pill in case a condom breaks. As for bleeding, most women do bleed a little but it really depends on the person as to when. I know that some women do bleed immediately afterwards, whereas it didn't happen with me until the following morning.
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If you have doubts, don't do it.
No not immediately, some people don't.
And its like dime/quarter size.
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Best advice you'll ever hear, if you have doubts about having sex, you're not ready.
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Youre only 14. It doesnt matter that he loves/cares about you. That is NOT a basis for having sex.
If he respects you, then he wouldnt want to have sex with you. He would wait until youre older.Just because hes had sex 2 times doesnt mean you have to be his 3rd.
PRE-MARITAL SEX
Because premarital sex is not love, it only leads to pain and disappointment for those who are seeking that love.
Sex is not love! Our culture has taught us that sex and love are one in the same. This is a lie. Sex is a beautiful activity that is wonderful when practiced within the boundaries of a marriage. Sex is the completion of the binding of two people within a marriage.
premature sex is bad for your emotional, physical and cultural health. If you think just because you have sex with a guy hes gonna stay with you forever>hun you are sooo wrong.
Youre only gonna feel used and abused when he leaves you down the road.
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it isnt always the first time you have sex you bleed. it could be your 3rd or even 6th time when it bleeds. it just depends on how big a guys penis is and if it hard enough to pop your cherry to then bleed.and no there shouldnt be a whole lot of blood just a little. and if i were you i would wait on sex. sex isnt everything and should be put on hold. think about it what if you get pregnant. or what happens after the sex he will want more and then sooner or later u will get pregant.hope this helps.
*~Stephanie~*
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hey your way to young. theres noneed to jump into things. waitt a few years. cait ♥
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you're wayy too young.why not wait? i mean, whats the rush? theres no such thing as safe sex. condoms can break or not work..just letting you know.wait!
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i think you should wait to have sex with him because after youll regret it and you might not bleed right away you could bleed the second time and its not alot just like a little dot or so
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i was in your situation. after 4 months, i decided to have sex with my boyfriend that had just turned 17 (i was also 14- a month before 15). we've been together for over a year, so i don't see it as a mistake, but you seem to be a little unsure about it. and once you have sex, yes, you immediately start to bleed. it depends on the girl if it's a lot, but usually it's not an overwhelming amount. barely a trickle. :) if you want sex advice, or anything else on the matter since i was once in your situation, don't be afraid to ask me! i love helping people especially when i know quite a bit about the subject!
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Honestly you're boyfriend is 17 andf your only 14. And your still confused on exactly what you want. But its sounds like your still very unsure, I'd wait intill you were postive of the relatioship. And in my personal opinion 14 is way to woung for sex with a 17 year old.
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It sounds to me like you're still very unsure. Until you can work through your feelings and be completely sure, I would steer away from a sexual relationship. Once you take that step, there is no going back. I know a lot of women, myself included, that deeply regret losing their virginity when they did.
The fact that you've only been together 4 months is also a concern. I realize that it seems like a long time (I was a teen not too long ago), but I would suggest waiting. Right now, you're still in the stage of getting to know each other. By waiting until you know each other better and have to go a point where you're more comfortable, you'll be able to make a better decision.
As for your questions, try the link below. It will explain what to expect. Your question is the last one on the page.
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If you do decide to take this step, I suggest a few things. First, I would have your boyfriend get tested. Since he has been with other women, there is a chance he may have an STD. I would also recommend you make an appointment with your family doctor or gynecologist. They can examine you to make sure your body is ready and also help you find the birth control option that's best for you. If you don't feel comfortable seeing a doctor that your family knows, you can also visit your local health department or planned parenthood office. Remember to also use a condom as birth control does not protect against STDs.
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I personally think that 14 is way too young to be having sex. I would wait until you know what you really want. If you have sex, and you aren't ready then you will regret it in the end. If you feel ready and know that he really does care for you then I guess go for it, but like I said before I think you still very young.
Just go with what feels right
-Jake
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