I look like my mother in this picture...is that a good thing?! Lol.
I often feel like I have been through far too much for my age. I've battled depression (several times), emotionally abusive relationships, men walking all over me, an eating disorder and a suicide attempt and I still pulled through. And if I can then you can too.
I'm a great listener, so feel free to ask me anything, I WILL reply to you. Be warned though, my advice is very blunt and I'll say exactly what I think! But then 9 times out of 10 people need to hear the truth rather than be wrapped in cotton wool!
Gender: Female
Location: Bournemouth/ Lincoln, UK.
Occupation: Student
Age: 21
Member Since: February 3, 2006
Answers: 72
Last Update: February 26, 2006
Visitors: 7873
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Vikki27
lucretia
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I'm trying to go running or do some sorta of exercise for atleast 30 minutes a day. However, I'm TERRIBLE with commitment. How can I keep myself on track so my plan doesn't just become something I tried and Failed at. (link)
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Well you have to question WHY you want to exercise. For me it's because I want to lose weight and to tone up. This is my motivation - I too have problems with commitment and motivation but if you set yourself a goal it's a LOT easier to be able to stick to it. Any further advice you might need on this feel free to email me, and I hope I helped.
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okay so i just now found out that i am a B instead of an A cup size... how can i get my mom to buy me new bras?? im shy about this whole changing into a woman thing.. so is there a way i could convince her to take me? cuz i mean she always rubs it into my face and acts like she is totally blank about the whole me being a B.. it makes me feel uncomfterble.. (link)
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Best thing to do is to go to a store where they do a bra-fitting service. Sure it might be a little embarassing, but as someone who used to fit bras for a living believe me we're used to seeing it all, and we try to make you comfortable. However, if another (trained) adult tells your mother that you need a bigger size she's not really in a position to dispute it!
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okay, well my friend got fingered for the first time the other day and now she's been worrying about it. she think's that she is pregnant but i'm telling her that she can't be because it's totally impossible because she didn't have sex or anything. and she hasn't gotten her period and she's 2weeks late. i told her that i think it's because she doesn't have a regular period, because she hasn't had it for over 2years and normally that's when it starts getting regular. her boyfriend only fingered her, she didn't do anything to him so i'm really not sure what to tell her except that she isn't pregnant. what do you guys think?
PS. when she got fingered after she bled alittle, and i told her that maybe he scratched her or something because you never know. (link)
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Although all the advice given so far is very fair, I'd just like to add here that your friend clearly knows nothing about sex. This certainly isn't meant in a nasty way - it's just that she should not be fooling around with her boyfriend if she doesn't know what the risks involved are. I took the liberty of researching a couple of websites where she can find out more about sex and contraception.
http://teenadvice.about.com/
http://www.sxetc.org/
http://www.sexualityandu.ca/eng/
If she's not clued up then at some point she DOES run the risk of getting pregnant, and I think she's lucky to have a concerned, wiser friend like you!
Hope I helped!
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Im 13, female. And in the 7th grade.
I like a boy named Alex, Alex has a girlfriend named "Jessica" (THATS MY NAME ALSO, so you know.) & I have gym with alex and he always calls me "Jess" even though he thinks i cant stand it, (but i really do love it when he calls me jess) and like everytime i see him he just starts yelling "OMGOD ITS JESS, HIII JESS!!" all loud, and me and him act like we hate each other really bad, but we dont really "hate" eachother, and its kinda seems to me like its like how they used to tell you when your mean to somebody you really like them. But i dont know if he likes me. But see just yesterday i told him i couldnt stand him and he was like.. "aw common you can stand me!" and we like paused and stared at eachother. does it sound like he likes me?
(link)
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Sounds like he does to me! But obviously he's out of bounds as he has a girlfriend. Luckily all is not lost. If you actually get on well with this guy then the best thing you can do is become friends with him. That way if him and his girlfriend split up you can be a shoulder to cry on! (Scheming aren't I?!) But more importantly you might just gain a really good friend - that's what happened with my best mate and although I want to be his girlfriend (which I reckon I would be if he was single), he's just the best and I wouldn't give up his friendship for anything. Hope this helps :)
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14/f. My boyfriend just turned 17. I am a virgin, he isn't. He's had sex with 2 people. We have been together for probably about 4 months. He respects me and I know he loves me and always wants to spend time with me. I know that he wants to have sex but tries his best to repect what I want. I sort of want to have sex, I know he loves me and cares about me. But there is another guy who I talked to before I knew him and he was in love with me. For some reason I stopped talking to him. And I'm just confused about what I want. Please give me advice, and when you have sex, do you immediately start to bleed your first time? and how much? I will rate. (link)
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Being best friends with Vikki normally makes me immediately inclined to disagree with her, lol! But she's absolutely right, it's really not a good idea to be having sex at 14. Apart from your age, you don't seem like you're sure that you even want to have sex with him! At the moment you say you "sort of" want to have sex, which to me suggestes you're not ready for it if you're not 100% sure. Remember that you can NEVER take back your first time. Sounds like you have a very understanding boyfriend, and by all means have sex with him further down the line - but only when you're absolutely sure that it's what you want. And you're more than welcome to ignore my advice and do it anyway, but I definitely would suggest that you sort out how you feel about this other guy whatever you decide to do with your boyfriend, as it's clearly messing with your head, which is never good! Hope I helped! :)
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Well lately ive had low self asteem in myself. i feel like i have no chance with every guy i like. im starting too be uncomfy with things i was comfortable like being tall as i am [5 11]. Well now all i think is no guy would go out with me because im tall and black. iunno what to do but i hate feeling this way. i really need some good advice!
P.S last yr i wore lower cut shirts and flirted mroe and was more loud and guys liked me. i feel like i had to b slutty to get guys to like me. should i go bac to that or waht can i do to get the same result? (link)
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That's the problem with ahving low self-esteem - you'll do anything you can to make people, especially guys, like you. Unfotunately acting like a bit of a slut may make guys like you, but they certainly won't have any respect for you. This is something I went through for a couple of years and only stopped recently when I realised this is the case. You're lucky to be tall, I wish I could be! Be proud of how you look - guys love it if you're confident in yourself and that will make them like you more. Hope I helped :)
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Okay i really am haveing a hard time telling if this boy i am crazy about likes me, lets call him joe. The signs are there but than some stuff really set me off. Like he will call me and one time he grabbed my hand , and he'll flirt and say cute things , but than sometimes he'll go talk to his ex girlfriend , because he knows it gets me mad. For christmas he got this girl and me a braclet, mine broke cause im soo careful with my things , so after christmas time they went out and broke up and she gave the braclet back to joes younger brother and joe asked for it and gave it to me. yea we went out for like a day, he dumped me. But sometimes he'll say i love you on the phone. and he'll do things that i would think the signs of liking me . But somethings he says are mean. Does he like me or is he leading me on? what do i do?
i'll rate 5 for any help (link)
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Personally I have no idea whether he does like you or not, but I will say this - CLEARLY he is not good enough for you! Sounds to me like he's messing with your head and that you could do so much better! Honestly what mature person takes back a gift to give to someone else? He probably just likes the attention you give him. I think you should ditch this loser and concentrate on someone worthy of your time!
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hey my sister has recently cut my hair and i really dont like it i think its too short, i was wondering if anyone has tried any hair products or has any tips on fast hair growth. thank you. (link)
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Well I always heard that taking Kelp tablets helps - they're a kind of seaweed and should be available in any good Health Food Store. I myself have been taking them for about a week and I'm pretty sure they're working! They also claim to make your nails grow :)
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i want to get side bangs and i have a hair appoitment in 2 weeks, but i wanted to get them after basketball season ends(which is in like, 1 month) because i dont want them in my face while im playing. are there ways that i can keep them out of my face(somehing good cause i dont want to be rebounding and have someone rip out some big clip) lol
thanks (link)
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I play rugby so I had that problem too! What all the girls used was mousse to smooth their hair back, seemed to work alright!
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Hey Swimming is coming up, do you guys know how to tone the arms/shoulders? (link)
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Well actually the best thing to tone up your arms and shoulders is...swimming! It's also great for losing weight and toning up in general. Another idea is to do some light weights regularly. Cross-trainers might help, as well as being great cardiovascular exercise and working your leg muscles too :)
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i really dont know who i am...
sometimes i feel happy and i want to wear designers and bright colors.
sometimes i feel stupid and i feel like wearing baggy pants and black.
sometimes i feel like a laid back skater punk and i want to wear DC and converse....
tough one, right. can i keep switching like this??? WHAT DO I DO! (link)
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That's just you being yourself honey! Believe me I'm the same - life would be boring without a bit of variety, right? Be happy dressing how you want to - there's nothing wrong with liking all different kinds of clothes. Sometimes I wear baggy jeans, baby tees and studded belts punk-style and other times I'll wear knee-high boots with a smart pencil skirt and sweater, and I don't see anyone complaining! Enjoy your versitility.
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ok we'll i liked this kid alot. & he's always like me but always went out with other people even though we liked eachother. So just like 5minutes ago he told me he broke up with his gf & he said do u still like me and i said yess i still like you & i asked him who he likes and he said he likes me but he likes my sister better=(
I've never felt like this i just went in my room crying. No one has ever... i just don't what to do. So can you please help me.
xo heartbroken♥
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Forget him. This kid is messing with your head and with your heart. What's to bet if your sister wasn't interested he'd be knocking on your door? No one wants to be sloppy seconds. Forget this loser and go out with someone who's worthy of your time. And if you ask me then your sister shouldn't go anywhere near him either, but that's her call. Hope I helped!
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My brother wants to break up my boyfriend and i because we are not ,talkin what should i do? (link)
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Well the good thing is that you've recognised that these are your brothers intentions - can you imagine if you had no idea that he was trying to cause touble? He could be telling you anything, and you could be believing it!
But as we both know what your brother is doing is wrong. This is why you need to sit down and tell him (as nicely as possible) to butt out. Chances are he's just being overprotective of his sister, but obviously he's doing more harm than good. If he still persists then all you can do really is to ignore it. Tell him if he carries on like this he'll lose you - as it would be hard for you to have any respect for him if he treats you like this! Hope I helped and if you need any further advice don't hesitate to drop me a line!
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Alright, so there's this guy...and i like him. And one of my best friends said he asked her (feb.8) if he should ask me out. She told me this on the 10th and its the 15th and he still hasn't asked me out and I'm pretty sure he knows I like him. And I'm guessing he likes me? I'm just wondering what you guys think about this whole situation.
Ps. He dated one of my friends and he didn't ask her out/break up with her himself but that mighta been because he didn't know her too well at all.. (link)
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I agree with careless-fun - if he didn't have the decency to ask this friend of yours out or break up with her himself he's clearly a coward. If he manages to ask you out himself then okay, maybe he's changed. But if I were you, don't bother if he doesn't ask you out himself as this is really childish. Yeah it may be nerves, but if I went round getting my friends to ask guys out for me I'd look like a kid! As for not having asked you out yet, I'd give it some time. If you do really like this guy then I'm sure you'll make up your own mind about him, but you may need to wait a while.
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i have love handles. first, i am 14/f. second, they are noticable when i wear camisoles (just in front of my girl-friends) and tighter shirts and things like that. i am not upset about the way they look or anything because God made me the way He wanted me to be. i am not overweight at all. my body mass index says that i am at a normal weight. i was just wondering if there are any exercises that i can do to get rid of them. i'll rate! thanks! (link)
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I shouldn't worry about it too much, if you're only 14 years old it's probably still puppy fat and as you'll still be going through puberty then you're likely to lose them as you get a bit older anyway. However for a short-term fix any cardiovascular exercise, such as running or cross-trainer will slim you down all over.
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so my puppy just lost 5 teeth while chewing the carpet and i was watching a movie so i didnt realize it but when i went into that room there was blood everywher....how do i get it out? (link)
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Hot salty water works well on most stains, especially blood. Treat with this first and then use a stain-remover to get the stain out.
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do herbs really work? if they do which ones help with anxiety attacks or over-worrying (link)
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Although they didn't work for me, I know people that swear by Kalms, which is available at Health Food shops. Another thing that I've heard is excellent for light depression is St. Johns Wort (although you can't take this if you're on the pill). Hope this helps, and if any of these don't work I suggest you see your doctor.
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ive liked sean for ever and he was really really nice like wicked cool and like i mean i think he did like me. his family like cousins and brother are like assholes, like obnoxious and mean. so my sister was like dont bother his family are assholes. sean was such a sweetie last year and most of this year but now hes turning to be a asshole like his brother, i like him so much but i do nott want to. and he knows im like obsessed and basically makes me more. what can i do to make him think i dontt? hes in my gym class always like being weird or acting nice.. thankss! so basically what should i do around him and how can i get over him
=( (link)
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Well the good think is that you've actually recognised he's being an arsehole, so well done you for not putting up with it! Best thing you can do is just simply to be civil to him, if you refuse to let him engage you in conversation then he'll soon get the hint. If he talks to you, simply reply cooly in as few words as possible, and then make an excuse to leave. Don't be rude though, unless it's really necessary. He'll soon see you're over him and go and bother someone else lol. Hope this helps!
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I'm really flat and it really anyoing I've heard the whole squezzing and putting toothpaste on it idea but I don't like it going to work every well. Any Ideas of what works, If it has would for you or something? Please write I'll rate. (link)
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If you are young then puberty probably hasn't kicked in yet - I know people whose breasts didn't even start growing till they were 16, and many people do start to develop even later. However in the meantime concentrate on what parts of your body are good. If you're petite you probably have a flat belly and thighs that people would kill for, or a small butt. If not then perhaps you have beautiful eyes or gorgeous hair? Just accentuate your best features and you should feel more confident.
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Okay. I'm in love with this guy. I always have been. He doesn't know. He never will. I'm moving in less than a month and I am NOT going to tell him. That's not my question. My question is, this love for him is killing me. KILLING me, because I can't do anything (I AM NOT GOING TO TELL HIM, SO DON'T TELL ME TO!). I don't want to stop loving him. I know my feelings are true. But for my own sake, I have to.
How can I?
--thanks. (link)
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Bless you, that is a pretty difficult situation to deal with. However, if you're moving away and not going to see him again, that's half your problem solved. It's so much harder to get over someone if you have to see them every day, so at least you don't have to worry about that. Unfortunately the only thing that you can do is give it time. It might take what seems like forever but you'll start to notice other guys and have fun with them. You probably won't ever forget him, but try to think of him as just someone you miss rather than someone you're in love with. Eventually the pain will pass but there is no quick-fix method!
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