about

:.Hey x3
My name is Emily and blah blah blah.


:.I have a lot of personal, family, and friend issues of my own so a lot of times, I can probably relate to you a lot of times if you have personal, family, and/or friend issues.


:.I can offer a lot of information, help, and advice on family and friend relationships, love lives, depression, stretching/flexibility, weight loss, violin, being organized, dog training, forensics (public speaking), keeping up with school/extracurricular activities, eating disorders, writing (stories and poems), and probably a lot of other random stuff like what to drink when you eat something spicy and why.


:.Although I can help a lot of you guys on the above subjects, I don't tend to take my own advice so it can become quite an awkward/ironic/contradicting situation for me or make myself sound like a complete and utter hypocrite.


:.Hannah Whitall Smith once said, "The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right." I agree 100% of it. Advice is advice and it is given when asked for. I give it and I leave it at that. It's up to the questioner/advice seeker to take it.


:.That point leads onto my philosophies in advice giving:
1. Advice is given when asked and no time else, unless your friend is about to irritate a black bear, then you should definitely advice your friend to back away and run for his or her life.
2. Advice is not critical, not judgmental, and definitely not biased. Advice is advice and should remain neutral.
3. Advice is to help, not to get 5s on every answer. As a result, my advice ends up being quite blunt and frank with a hint of rambling mixed in.

If you have general questions on the topics I can be a lot of help in (as listed above), most likely, they will be in my FORUM

If it is not, you can inbox me to request me to put it up.

:.If you want to ask me a question directly...
a)if it is not urgent and can wait a week or so, inbox me.
b)if it is an urgent question such as "I'm being eaten by a shark! What do I do???" first of all, I'm quite amazed that you can type while being eaten and second of all, e-mail me at cancel.life@gmail.com. I will answer you by midnight of that day (or if it's 11:55PM, probably by 3PM the following day).

advice

13/f


what can i do to undamaga my hair? dont tell me to stop straightning it bcus i always want straight hair and i have naturally curly and wvy tangly hairr. is there anything i can do/use?


and what other straighteners that cost about 100 dollars are good besides chi straighteners?

Straightners:
http://www.folica.com/appliances/straightener.htm

Frutice is a awesome brand and there is also L'Oreal product that undamages the damagae you've done to your hair in 2 years or something like that?

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so there is this one boy
i like alotalotalot.
ive never met him before, he lives about an hour away
and we talk online everyday and on the phone once in awhile
and he tells me he loves me so much and he calls me gorgeous and hes like perfect..
until right now.
i just found out he asked his best friend out because hse just got out of a relationship and now theve been going ofr like an hour
and im like heartbroken.
i dont know what to do
but i just hope it doesnt last
cause i love him alot and im like crying!
what should i say to him
or do?
i dont wanna be mean tho.. but its his fault he told me he loves me so much and then go out with his bestfirned.
any help?!

Hmm, so you met him on the internet and you've never met him in real life? Ha, funny. There is not true love unless you really meet the person face to face and the phrase "I love you" is getting hackneyed and getting thrown around as if it's the equal of saying "What's up?"

Honey, he lives and hour away from you. Just keep him as an internet friend and look for other guys around you. There's a much better chance of getting with the guys that live near you then a guy that's an hour away. It's also his choice as to whether he finds a girl for himself where helives and you have to understand that most guys aren't in for the whole "long distance" relationship things..and by the wya, they barely work out.

If you tell him or mention to him in any way that you're hurt because of this, he might be a little frekaed out because you guys met over the internet and to be jealous of someone you haven't even met is a little creepy.

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OK so a few weeks ago I had sex with this guy and we didnt use a condom. yes i know. DUMB MOVE. no need to reiteratre that. we just took it to far. but anyways. lately i have been having sharp pains in my stomach. i play volleyball and its like when im serving or hitting especially it feels like something is ripping inside me.
could this mean im pregnant? I also just started my period and its not late or anything but i always get cramps, but this feels different...so any idea?

There is always a good risk of getting pregnant if you have unprotected sex even if he pulled out before he came. But anywhos, since you started your period, that's a good sign. The thoughts about being pregnant may have emphasized your cramps by you thinking you're pregnant. Just to be on the safe side, take an EPT every week for a month just to make sure.

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13/f
1.whats the best make up brand besides mac?


2.what is shea butter cream

1. Clinique, L'Oréal, Estée Lauder, Maybelline, and Lancome are pretty good ones.

2.Shea butter is a solid fatty oil made from the nuts of Karite Nut trees, also known as Mangifolia, that grow in the semi-arid savannah regions of West and Central Africa. Shea butter is sometimes called “women’s gold,” because extracting the butter from the nuts gives employment and income to hundreds of thousands of rural African village women. Shea butter is so non-toxic and beneficial that it is used in foods and cooking as well as soaps and beauty products. (Note from Cait: one of my favorite lip balms is a vanilla-scented treat from La Natura made with shea butter. It is totally delicious!)

African healers and beauties have known about shea butter for thousands of years: the substance is almost magical in its healing effects on burns, skin conditions, ulcerated skin, stretch marks, and dryness.

It contains beneficial vegetable fats that promote cell regeneration and circulation, making it a wonderful healer and rejuvenator for troubled or aging skin. It also contains natural sun-protectants.

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i have mediam color skin. and black eyes. brownish reddish hair. what are good colors for my lips, eyes, and bluch? please send me pix so i can understand. thanks very mucho.

It's really hard to fit what make up goes well on what person if you don't have a picture of them. My email is xchoke_on_dead_hopex@yahoo.com so if you can send me a picture there, I'd be glad to help you out. And by the way, it's blush...'

From what I read I think warm colors will work the best on you. Stay away from cool colors and stick with warm, gold colors and warm inviting lipstick colors. Try a soothing rosey color for blush and eye shadown and use maybe a darker shade of what you put on for your blush for your lips

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a girl in my school named courtney died last night in a tragic car crash. my friends whose mother recently died was friends with this girl so it really hurt her. i was crying, too, but she's been through so much more. i don't know what to do on this one, guys. im grieving but i want to be there for my friend at the same time. i don't know what to do. please help me.

thankyou in advance.
and god bless courtney, she will be loved and missed ... :'[

First of all, I'm really sorry.

Second of all, Welcome To The Black PArade I think is a great song to give to your friend. It's by My Chemical Romance in their 4th album "The Black Parade"

The chorus goes "And though you're dead and gone believe me your memory will carry on." and so on.

Just give your friend some space if she needs it and if she needs a shoulder to cry on, be there for her even if it's really random. Just be really supportive and ask her if she wants to talk about it. If she doesn't, let it be. Try to cheer her up by doing things she likes to do. Try not to bring the conversation around death and such.

Oh yes, be friends with Ben & Jerry

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well I`m a little bit confused, so I need ya`lls opinion -

theres a guy, we`ll call him Ryan. He`s pretty much my best friend; we`re really close. he tells me a lot & vise-versa. Well I really like him. He`s everything I guy should be. Sweet, funny, and not to mention gorgeous.
A few days ago, I asked him who he likes, and he won`t tell me, which is a first. He`s really flirty with me, and he always stares at me. he`s called me gorgeous and compliments me, and during the summer I knew he liked me, but I just figured he stopped due to lack of seeing each other. My best friend who makes really good sense of these situation thinks its me, because she said, "why would he lead you on but have it be another girl?"
I just don`t know what to do now.
From what I told you, and your experiences, do you think he could like me? If I should ask him straight up, what should I say? Thanks so much.

Well, the only way to know for sure is for YOU to ask him directly. If you want to confront him straight up, go up to him at lunch or after school or whatever and say that you like him. If you wanna to it indirectly, ask him online playfully saying "I like you a lot. Do you like me?"

or you can ask him to join you and few friends to the movies or whatever and then one day ask him if he wants to go to the movies with you alone

Either way, ask him in a playful way so you don't scare him off. Just jokingly say that you like him and ask if he likes you or if there is a dance coming up, ask if he wants to go with you or something like that. And if he says he just wants to be friends, just cover it up by saying "Woah, I din't mean it that way" or osmething like that.

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okay before i get started. i can predict what you'll all have to say .. he's not worth your time, dont waste it.

but thats my problem. my head gets i should let go. but i cant do it. i miss this kid.

so me and brad were dating on and off for 9 months, (ive liked him since i met him, 2 1/2 years ago) we've had our problems. no one perfect, right? well we got back together a monday and that following thursday he admited to me taht he has feelings for both ME and a girl named Lynn. and he said partly why he was with me was because he didnt get her. but he also still ahd feelings for me.

and i know that sounds bad. but i miss him. so as the story goes, we broke up. and i just can't give up as quickly as he did ...

what should i do? how do you get over someone you've liked for so long

Do you really want to go through breakin up then getting back together over and over again and know that he has feelings for someone else and he's just using you to fill in the girlfriend spot while he tries to get with Lynn?

If you do, YOU ask him out. Ask him if he wants to hang out with you and few friends then gradually one day ask him if he wants to go to the movies with you--&you alone.

But really, you should go out there and look for new guys and flirt with them. There is bound to be someone out there that is better than Brad.

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right this is taking the piss i run for england under 15's i set the record already not bad yeh i hav 2 5 hour training sessions a week and i get treated like a fuking dog i also do long jump and triple jump for england aswel and i have 2 training sessions for them and i get treated like a fukin dog in them its taking the piss today was interform rugy everyone was telling me what to do i scored 78 fuking tries and they stil were telling me what to do eventually i flipped and told everyone to fuck off right im realy considering quitting all of my sports because i dont want to be treated like shit any one help me shut every one up?

Wow. Um, watch the language. Some people don't appriciate profane words on here...especially the 13yr olds.

Anywhos, just tell them calmly that you need to be treated like a human and that they need to let down on the training just a tad bit.
Don't yell at them or scream or whatever because that won't accomplish anything but sore throats and drama. So just tell htem calmly that you're sorry for the way you acted last time but they need to cool down a little bit because you're feeling under appriciated or something like that.

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hi. i have been recently talking to this guy that i met of some dating website. hes really nice we have soo much in common and after a week or two we met up. hes good looking and has a charming personality. he tells me after meeting that he has fallen for me and that he loves me. I think that is way too quick really. but my thing is if someone loves youu like they say they do they would call you more often, but the thing is, he hardly calls me. and he insists that I come down to see him. he won't come down to my area. he lives in scarborough and me in brampton. so the first time we met, was half way sort of. I didnt mind it and i made it a point to him that next time we meet up he should come down to my area and he agreed, then he said 2 days ago. he wants to meet at the same place we met before.. I got upset and said u promised etc to come to my area and he kept telling me that its too far etc.. I said that to him...(via txt msg) neways to cut things short,it has been two days since iv heard from him.. and I sent him a txt msg today saying i havent heard from you in 2 days hope all is well, pls call me today and let me know when u wanna meet up and if you don't pls let me know that to.. i gave him two options. but my question to you is wat do you make out of that situation.. wats your thoughts and advice to me. id really appreciate it if you would get back to me. by the way i'm 26 and hes gonna be 27 in january.

thanks
-ss

If he's truly fallen for you, he'd make the effort to drive that extra hour/minute to get to you. Why don't you guys just meet up half way again and the next time you go to his house and make him promise that he comes to your next time and if he breaks that promise, well he can go bye bye

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I really like this guy and well I told him. At first he said that he just wanted to be friends, which is fine but lately he keeps saying and doing things that make me think otherwise.

Like this one time we were talking on msn and he had asked me who my best-friend was so i told him, and then he asks "Have you told her about us yet?"
I'm confused by the way he asked that because we are not dating, we are just friends still, like we've been for over 10 years, but he used the word "US".

What does this mean?

He's probably curious as to whether you told your best friend that you said you liked him and that his reply to that was a I just wanna be friends statement.

He might be referring to "us" as in the situation right now and he probably doesn't want it to get told to other people and stuff.

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14/f in love with 16/m

okay so ive loved this guy since i was like 5.
[i know it sounds kinda weird but like it was an instant knowing that i loved him] but he lives 12 hours away [by car] i used to see him every summer and every break i had. but then my parents got divorced so we stopped going. and now i just saw him for the first time in 4 years and i fell in love with him all over again. but im not sure if he feels the same way. i mean hes given some hints towards it but nothing straight forward. i could picture myself being with him for the rest of my life but i hate living so far away. im not sure if i should just ask him how he feels or if i should just get over him ? [oh yah he doesnt have long distance calling so its like i have to call him but hes always busy and i dnt want it to seem like im obsessed with him]
help . advice please :] oxxx

Honey, first of all, you're not in love with him the way you think you are. You're still young and you can't go saying "I love this guy and I want to marry him" That's just a little creepy. You've known him since you were 5 and that's a pretty strong friendship and I think you should keep it instead of ruin it by going out. Also long distance relationships rarely work out especially when the others busy and the other doesn't have any transportation methods.

So I say just get his sn or email or whatever and keep in contact with him that way. Just stay friends and keep your eyes open for guys who are near where you live

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Ok, i am in 8th grade and will be going to high school next year. I went to one of their games(high school) and all the people who actually go to that school look so big and experienced(sp). I am small and i am not expeirienced. All the guys were holding on thier girlfriends and i know i won't get a boyfriend and i am really scared to go there next year becuase they are really grown up. Everyone is more expeirienced than me and i cant go to high school like that. Please help.

What's with the experienced thing?

High school will seem scary but there are really nice people there and there's nothing to fear. I started high school and as long as you're not screaming down the hallways acting like idiots, people are nice. Like 70% of my friends are in grades higher than mine which is sad..and awesome at the same time.

Also not everyone has a gf/bf and you'll realize that and you shouldn't fear it because you aren't experienced. I mean who's gonna know about it? Seriously unless you go out there and say "I'm not experienced!!!"

So just chillax and have fun =]

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I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. About a year ago I found that he had a profile set up on yahoo personals. I had a suspicion that he was messing around because he was always on his computer. I found out too much, chat rooms, web cams, women online, porn sites and profiles on sexually explicit finders sites. I still can't trust him, he said he stopped. I don't know what to do.

Okay, well you have to understand that when we think of horny..it's at like a level 4. But a guy's normal average horny level is like a 1093248

Haha...guys are naturally really horny and they unfortunately go to the stupid porn sites.

Has he been cybering online or something?
If he did, dump him. He's gonna do that again to you even more discreetly behind your back since those habits are hard to break and I'm sorry, but there is just no relationship without trust.


BUT aside from what I've just said above...give him one more chance. But with some rules. Make him promise that he won't keep any secrets from you and that he should tell you something he's hiding from you right then and there so you won't be as mad.

Don't go all uber control on him and say "Show me all your convo" blah blah. That'll just drive him away. Well, anyways...give him one more chance and if get suspicious (I mean really suspicious) tell him that you feel like you're getting paranoid or whatever but if you could see at least one of his chats of your choice.

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my busdriver makes me sit in seat #2 on the bus because i "turned around". my busdriver said that its my permanant seat, no ands,ifs,or buts. its so annoying and i want to be with my friends in the back. i don't want to sit with the geeks in the front and when my friends come on the bus, they need to sit in the front with me. it sucks and i need help. i am not even turning around on the bus, its always the guys.

Wow, that is unreasonable...at least your bus driver didn't say "Don't drink on the bus because if you throw the can on the floor, it can roll on the floor to the front and jam the break and we can all die!!!" haha. Seriously, my bus driver said that. I'm like way to scare the 6th graders.

Anywhos. The next time you get on the bus, go to the back or bring the cool to the front (I know..cliche)

Or be uberly nice to her and give her presents and blah blah. SUCK UP TO HER. Then out of random, just sit wherever you want. Or go see your counslor and say that you think it's unfair that you're stuck in the front of the seat for a reason that's fake.

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ok so iv'e liked this guy since last year, and a few weeks ago, he told me he liked me too. the problem is he also likes another girl named lindsey. two days ago i went to the school dance, and he didnt and when i got home he was texting me and asked me if she went. i said yes. and he asked me if she danced with a guy, and i said yes, even though she didnt, because i was mad at him for asking me when he knew i liked him. so he got all upset, an stuff, cauz i told him she was dancing with another guy. and i asked him if they were going out and he said, "no, i wish" and that got to me. so i dont want to like him anymore but i kinda still do, but i kinda do. what do i do, and if i should, how do i tell him i dont like him anymore?

You can't change your feelings for someone just like that. You have to understand that we're teenagers and our hormones are makingus girl/guy crazy and we say and do stupid stuff and you can't get mad over little things like that. If you really like the guy, ask him out or ask him to hang out with you with a few friends and show what a great personality you have. If you're unsure about whether you like him or not, here's a simple question. Do you want to hug him or kiss him?

Also if you don't like him anymore, no need to tell him. We all move on from people to people and so it's no biggie if you go from this guy to another (crush wise)

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ok well i dont know if this is the rite topic..but..my friend*Whitney* has been going out with this guy*kevin*. She is in 8th grade and he is in 9th. well wen he first asked her out about a month ago she asked me what i thought..i told her that it wasnt a good idea because all he wants to do it "get down her pants". i know that from other people going out with him. She told me in the begnining of there relationship that she promised she wouldnt do anything. well they were at a football game (high school) and he tried to finger her. she told him not rite now. and i respect that brcause she didnt do it. well a couple days ago she was at his house and he figered her..she said it hurt really bad and she was scared to tell me because she knew i would get really mad. well of course i was and i tried to let it go but this guy is knows for doing really bad stuff. im really worried about her. she has it in her mind that she loves him but i know she doesnt and im scared he going to pressure her into doing something she doesnt want to do. i dont know how to come about this..or how i can look out for her because i kno anything i say wont matter..shes moving way to quickly with this relationship. i need help..thanks in advance

We are all blind when it comes to crushes and boyfriends especially because of our hormones.

Warn her that he's already gotten in her pants and he'll try to advance more. Tell her that there is always a risk of pregnancy and STDs even with a condom and she shouldn't lose her virginity to some guy that's known to be a player?

Tell her that you're not jealous or anything but more worried that she'll do something she'll regret later on. She may say that she won't let him take her virginity and whatever and so then you will remind her that she broke her frst promise by engaging in a sexual activity and she'll be pressured by him to have full sex with him.

You're not pressuring her in a bad way. You're steering her in a good way and if talking fails, you did all you can for her. She'll regret later on if she does something stupid with this guy and instead of turning your back on her, just be her friend throughout this whole thing and try to steer her in the right way.

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what are the pro's and Con's on "pulling the plug" (taking someone off life support)?

If they've been on life support for a while now and nothing has improved, there's barely any hope.

The good part is:
You don't have to see them suffer any longer
Money

The bad part:
you might feel guilty about it and think "what if I didn't pull the plug?" or something like that.

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I'm seeing this guy that I really like, and I stayed over at his house for the first time the other night. Everything was fine until it came to the moment where I knew it was my turn to reciprocate the attention (for the first time)...and I panicked. I don't know why, I've never before panicked in that situation, but I properly freaked out, and just couldn't do anything.
It didn't seem to matter that much to him that I couldn't do anything, which was nice, but I feel so bad about it. For some reason, with this guy I really felt like I had no clue what I was doing and whatever I did I was going to screw everything up.
I didn't quite know where to put this question but still - how can I improve my confidence so I don't panic again? And any ideas WHY I panicked? I just don't understand.
Thanks x

It could be two things:
This guy is more "advanced" in love stuff than you are and you feel intiminated

You really likke this guy a lot and you don't want to screw it up.

Just be your natural self and don't think about what you're doing. Just let it come naturally to you. If this guy doesn't like you for a stupid kiss or whatever, then ditch him...if you're getting really nervous, eat bananas before you meet up with him...bananas are really good beta blockers which will help you calm down

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For the last week or two I've been going to bed at 10 or 11 PM, as I always do. But for some reason I can't fall asleep until 3 or 4 or 5 AM. I've stayed home from school 3 or 4 days now because I can't stop falling asleep during the day. It's DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! I haven't been eating or drinking anything with caffeiene in it, I go to bed at like the exact same time every night and set my alarm for the exact same time every day, I set aside at least 8 hours to sleep, I'm eating really healthy and getting enough excercise...what's wrong with me???

Well maybe over the weekend, you went to bed later on and so that can really effect ti...even one night of doing that.

Or if you're really stressed out or pinned down with a whole lot of things, that can effect it too.

Ask your mom if you can go see a doctor to make sure there's not sleep disorder taking over..

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