about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

okay well theres this kid name ozzy and i like him as a friend but he likes me as more but i like this other kid that lives like 30 mins away and ozzy keeps asking me out and i told him i was going out with the other kid but even if i like ozzy i wouldny be able to go out with him cause hes dark and my moms racist in a way she just doesnt want me dating dark guys even if i was absolutely in love with them she wouldnt care it makes me mad but ozzy keeps hitting on me and asking me to flash him and stuff like that i have no clue what to do cause i still want to be friends with him you know some1 please help thanks ill rate 5s if its good advice

Tell Ozzy that you value his friendship but aren't interested in taking your friendship into a relationship. If he truly cares about you as a friend, he will back off the dating thing to keep your friendship.

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okay heres the downlow. Whenever my boyfriend is around girls he always flirts with them, even if i'm right there. then when i talk to him about he'll either say i never did that or oh i'm sorry i won't do it again, but he never changes! I don't know what i should do. Part of me wants to break up with him and another part of me doesn't! So what should i do!!??

I'm 13,Female

If you can live with him flirting with other girls and he's not doing anything more than flirting with the girls, I don't see a reason why you shouldn't stay with him.

However, someone who honestly cares about you would not do something that they know hurts you. Since you've talked to him about it already, he definitely knows. If you can't handle the flirting, give him a limit of time to straighten up his act and if he doesn't, kick him to the curb and find a guy that respects your feelings.

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Hey...I was wondering if I was having normal period pain or not. I have a slight fever, not very high. And I'm having pains in my stomach (everywhere not just in the lower part) and some back pain. I'm getting headaches and after I eat I feel like I'm about to throw up. Plus I'm suffering from a loss of appitite. I should have started by now but i'm a little late. Is this normal?

The stomach and back pain are normal period pain. Some women do have an upset stomach right before they start since the hormones are going crazy. If you're feeling sick, you're not going to have an appetite. Changes in hormones can cause the headache.

If it doesn't clear up in a couple days or you don't start your period in the next week, I would go to the doctor for a checkup just to rule an underlying condition out.

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14/f. I've read on the internet the signs of having depression. I fit many of them. Though I do not ALWAYS feel depressed and hopeless, it comes often. Certain things in my life have caused me pain, and then there's other times where I just feel horribly down, yet I can't point it to any certain cause at all. I don't feel close enough to either of my parents or anybody..come to think of it that I could tell about me having this problem. Yet, I do think that me getting help is a good idea, because I've become very close to doing something drastic more than once. Is there reason to suspect that I really do have a depression problem, or is it just teenage hormones? Is there a way for me to get help?

There is a teen crisis number you can call if you're in a crisis or thinking about doing something drastic to yourself. It's toll-free and completely confidential. 1-800-784-2433

They have licensed couselors on staff that you can talk to and if you do need in-person counseling, they can help you tell your parents as well as refer you to help in your area.

I hope this helps.

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I'm a very experienced actor. I've been acting since I was 7 and I've been in two proffesional shows, "Les Miserables" and "The Phantom" (a 70's musical version of the phantom of the opera, the andrew lloyd webber show was based off this). Now I'm about to be in the Wizard of Oz. Ok, so we had our auditions. I wanted to be the West Witch/Almira Gultch REALLY badly, so I practiced and studied the show and the movie and the witch like hell. Soon the auditions came and I gave it all out. By all the other girls, I was the very best, everyone thought I was going to get the part. Then the cast list came out. And well what do you know! I didn't get it. a BOY who auditioned for the scarecrow got it! I'm just a human set piece (to be specific, a tree, a flower, and a tornado dancer) and the Lion's haircutter. I'm really sad and upset. And the boy didn't even WANT to be the Witch! I've never been good at auditions, and this was my first perfect audition and I got the smallest part I've ever had in my life! How can I deal with this?! What can I do?! Can someone help me? and please don't say "every role is important" I've been told that a million times by our director. sorry this was long but I'm really sad

First of all, I'd talk to the director. It's possible it was a simple typo. Ask if you can be the understudy for the part. That way if the boy gets a case of "stage fright" or something else happens, you'll be ready to step in.

If it wasn't a typo, realize that each director has their own idea of how a character should be played. Maybe he/she saw something in the boy that you're not seeing right now.

Last, show the director that even though you didn't get the part you wanted, you can accept it with grace. Help the boy with his lines, help others with their lines if you know them also, and play your role to the best of your ability. Things like that will remain in people's minds and they'll be more likely to remember you when another part comes open.

Break a leg. Best of luck.

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is it possible to make out with a guy if you wear glasses (it would be helpful if people who wear glasses answer this)

Yes it is possible. You just have to watch out for the glasses is all. Try turning your head when you kiss or simply taking off the glasses.

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You see.. i got back on weight watchers this week because my school's starting soon (too soon) and i want to slim down so I'm not the biggest girl in my class anymore. What are some fast pace exercises i can do (websites) or what are some tips. The weight watchers is working, slowly, but i want to speed up the process.

Thanx

Weight Watchers is formulated for healthy weight loss so I wouldn't go over board with trying to speed up the process.

All over exercises such as aerobics and swimming will help tone your entire body instead of just focusing on one area.

Drinking LOTS of water and eating lots of water rich foods (cucumber, celery, tomato, fruits, etc) will help flush any water weight you may have as well as help your body burn fat more efficiently.

Adding some spicy foods to your diet will rev your metabolism so fat gets burned faster.

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hey, i'm a fourteen year old and i've never kissed a girl in my life, idk how, and i'm too shy to do it, a lot of people think i'm good looking and i've had a lot of gf's, i've just been too shy to do it, and i don't know how, so, yeah, any tips?

When you're ready to kiss, no amount of shyness is going to stop you. With that said, I think you should wait until you can get past the shyness. If you don't feel like waiting, try letting your girlfriend take the lead.

There's no real art to kissing since each person has their own preference but basically don't get all slobbery, don't try to stick your tongue down her throat, and do take it slow and gentle.

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On june 13 and june 15 i had sex wit my bf. we had used protection n everythin. then i got my period on june 19...it last bout 5 days and it was a heavy flow..meaning it really was my period n nothin lik "spotting". newyz i havnt had sex since june 15th but now its been 34 days and i havnt had my period. usually i have it around 30-31 days...could i be pregnant?

It's possible that you having sex has just thrown your cycle off a bit or something else in your life has affected your period. If you're under a lot of stress, exercising more than usual, or making major dietary changes, they can all make your period disappear.

Since you used protection, I'm assuming a condom or birth control pills, it's unlikely you are pregnant but there is a slight chance. I would give it another week and if you don't start by then, you should either buy a home pregnancy test or go to your doctor or a pregnancy clinic for a test. Even if you're not pregnant, there may an underlying condition that's not showing up.

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Ok... a few questions about pregnancy



When you are pregnant you don't get your period... i knwo that.

Is it true that after giving birth you have your period for a month?

After giving birth how do you track your period? Will your cycle fall on the same days it ususally does or do you start a whole new pattern? Is there anyway to predict this new pattern?

Ok first off, some women do have their period during pregnancy. It's just one of those things that can't be explained.

After giving birth, it is common to bleed for a while but it varies from woman to woman. I know some that have bled for a week while others bleed for up to 2 months.

Your cycle will be a little haywire after pregnancy since all your hormones will be out of whack. The best thing to do is wait till your first full period after the post-pregnancy bleeding and then chart it from there.

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hey my sister just got over cancer and she gets all of the sttention!! she was always like the "specila child" so i wasnt surprised when my mom and dad kind of forgot about me when she got sick. one night they just left to go to the hospital cuz she had a fever but they didnt tell me they were leaving so i woke up and knowbody was in my house (except for my neighboor). they didnt think i would care if they left and they didnt want to wake me up but bull crap. i dont really care i would have liked to know. and then one night we were out to eat with my grandparents and one of my grandpa's friends were there he went to introduce my family and he left me out!! i was sitting right there next to him and he said every one else's name but he didnt even say any yhing about me!! i know my sister had it bad but i mean would it hurt someone to say "hey how are you doing today"?? my friend recently died of cancer and we were really close. her brother would stya with us when she had to go to the hospital so when she was sick i didnt want him to feel like i did and i tryed to talk to him as much as i could about his sister. when she died people came up to him and said it is kk i no how you feel but they dont no how the siblings of cancer paticents feel!! i love my family but they just dont no any thing about me!! i dont think they care any more. what should i tell them? please can you help me??

First of all, I'm sorrry you're having such a hard time in your life right now. I'm sure it doesn't seem like it but it will get better.

Although families aren't supposed to have favorites, they often do. Other than talking to your family and letting know how you feel, there's not much you can do. Even though I don't know exactly how you feel, I have been in the situation of feeling slighted because more attention was given to a sibling. It finally took me and my other sister flat out telling our parents "Yes we love her too and understand she really needs you right now, but WE NEED YOU TOO."

If someone forgets to introduce you at a gethering, speak up. A simple "Hi I'm Sarah (or whatever your name is). Pleased to meet you." It's possible that the person simply had a brief memory loss. You know how it is when you think you did something, but you're not really sure.

I hope this helps. Even though it seems like nobody cares, believe me someone does. Good luck and best wishes.

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15/f.
My bf pissed me off n really hurt my feelings w/o meaning to. now im not so sure and i want to take a break. but im afriad if i find out i do still want/need him he won't want me back... help...

Tell your bf that even though he didn't mean to, he did hurt you, and that you need a couple days to yourself to deal with it. If he really cares about you, he won't mind giving you a day or two to get your mind striaght.

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thanks so much !

x3

You're quite welcome.

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Ok so ive known this guy for 2 years and he is my best friend and i love him to death . we joke around and say stuff like he is my lil bro because thats how close we are. but recently i noticed that he gets me i mean he understands me completely and cares about me he gets mad if other guys stare at me or say somethin like flirting with me. i really really like him. so i told him that i liked him and it was like awkwardness for 2 weeks,and he didnt tell me that he liked me which i thought he would. so now its back to a brother sister relationship and he is stil my best friend,but i really like him alot and i dont kno what to do ....somebody help me

It's possible that the reason he gets mad at other guys for staring at you or flirting is because he does think of you like a sister. Since you brought the subject already and he didn't say he liked you, I think you'll be best leaving your relationship as a friendship for now. I know you like him and it'll be hard going back to just thinking of him as a friend, but it's better not to push. A lot of times, love grows out of a strong friendship. I would spend my time now building your friendship so if you do end up in a relationship with this guy that you have a strong friendship to build the relationship on.

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Ok so my dad teaches a 10th grade guys Sunday School class, and im friends with all of the guys in there. well i recently went on a youth trip with my church and several of them were there. I got to talk to them alot. im just friends with some of them,but i realzed that i kinda liked this one guy. he is really funny and really cute. im really good friends with his best friend so i asked him what he thought about me liking his friend,and he thought it was an awesome idea ,and said that they guy had thought of asking me out before. Well see my dad is really good friends with these guys and they absolutely love my dad,but they kno not to touch me because my dad would kill them. so i really want to get to kno this guy better but im scared that he wont want to because of my dad. even though i kno my dad wont do anything to him . haha but the guy doesnt kno that. im really stuck give me some help

There's nothing wrong with the guy having respect for your dad. In fact, it's a good thing. Since your dad already likes the guy, you have one major hurdle out of the way. Parents rarely like the people we choose to date.

The first thing you need to do is sit down with your dad and have a little Dad-daughter talk to make sure he's not going to have a problem if you choose to date this guy.

Once you have that out of the way and his word not to interfere, go talk to this guy. If he does say anything about being scared of your dad, let him know tactfully that you've already brought the subject up with your dad and there will be no problem as long as he acts like a gentleman. Since this guys is also involved in the church and youth group, he'll probably have the same morals as you and not be pressuring you into something you may not be ready for.

Good luck with your crush. I wish you the best.

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ok guys im not goin to say im over-weight bc im not.. im bout 5'5" and i weigh like 130 pounds. im a cheerleader so i try to stay in shape. but july was an off month for cheer and school is starting up very soon. i just want to sort of 'tone' up my stomach and legs. with a healthy diet and work out that i can stick to. i am very determined. so if there are any sites or workouts u could give me i would really appreciate it.. i will rate 5's for all good answers//sites! if you could hurry that would be great!

Crunches, side crunches, twists, leg lifts, running, swimming, and stair-climbing will all help.

Try eating lots of fruits and veggies and staying away from breads and pastas unless they're whole-grain. Water-rich foods such as cucumbers and celery will help flush the fat, as well as have the added bonus of not costing you a single calorie since they burn more calories digesting than they have in them.

Lay off the sodas and juices, and switch to water. Make sure to take a good quality multi-vitamin so you're sure to get essential vitamins and minerals.

Eat lean proteins for energy without the added calories. These include chicken, turkey and eggs. Do not eat anything fried.

I hope this helps. Good luck.

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alright hey my brother is getting married and he did not want a big big wedding i don't know why but he did not...so after the wedding like the next weekend they are have a cookout with like EVERYONE they know!! adn everyone says their going to wear like a skirt or a dress or something fancy or something and there is going to be an inground swimming pool to. and i was woundering dose anyone know what i should wear??

If everyone is dressing up, you will feel out of place if you don't. Try finding something dressy but casual. If you plan on swimming, bring a bathing suit and change into it when you're ready.

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I just got my period last night for the first time. Could you guys give me some things I might need to know like ..
Can i wear a regular pad overnight
How can I shower without gettin blood all over.
What pads work best. Those kinds of things.

I'll rate :D

Ok first off, congrats on making it to the ranks of womanhood.

Yes you can wear a regular pad overnight.

When you shower, any blood will go down the drain. Just make sure to gently wash the area to keep from it getting irritated or sticky. Rinsing the shower after you're done will remove any blood that didn't go down the drain.

There's no one pad that fits all women. The best thing for you to do is buy a small box of one kind this time and see if you like it. If you don't, try a different kind next time. If you're worried about the blood leaking onto the edges of your panties, pads with wings would be best. If you're worried about odor, a deodorant pad will work.

Depending on how heavy you're bleeding, you can decide which pad would be best for you. If you're not bleeding very much or just spotting, a light-days pad will be best. If you're bleeding a bit more but not really pouring, a regular pad will do. Likewise if your flow is real heavy, a super will be best.

If you're hurting a lot, are moody, are cramping a lot, and just generally feeling PMSy, try taking some Midol. It will help. If you're just hurting some without the other stuff, Tylenol will work. There are also some air-activated heating pads (Playtex makes one kind) that you can apply to your back or stomach if they're hurting. I can tell you from experience they work great.

If you have any other questions, just let me know.

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I love my boyfriend sooo much! my boyfriend went to juvi last week and i absolutely HATE him! i hate him for leaving me like this! i feel so alone and lonely and i need him more then anything and hes not here! i miss him soo much and i wont b able to see him for another 3 weeks! i hate him soo much for doing this to me i just wanna slap him!

Right now you're feeling betrayed by your boyfriend which is completely natural. Letting your feelings out will help a lot. Talk to a trusted friend or a parent if you can. If you can't talk to anyone, just writing your feelings down on a piece of paper will help you get the anger out. It's not healthy to hold your feelngs inside.

When your boyfriend gets out of juvi, I would seriously reconsider going back into a relationship with him. While juvi does help some people, most of the time it just teaches them more ways to get in trouble. You do not want to get dragged down with him or even end up in juvi yourself.

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alright, i HATE my church. there is this girl rachel who is like...really mean to me. she even locked me in a suply closet once. i want to go to a diffrent chruch. every time i tell my mom that rachel is mean she just says i need to have a better attitude. rachel even told everybody that i was a slut. so now no one likes me. how do i tell my mom i want to go to another church?

Have you tried actually telling your mom what this girl has done to you? If you haven't, try that. Your mom may think it's just girl stuff until she realizes that this girl is being hurtful and putting you in danger.

Another option is to talk to your preacher or youth minister. They can both help you figure out how to best deal with the problem as well as intervene with the problem if necessary.

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