Treatment for depression is like a pie. You don't get the full benefit unless you've got all the pieces.

Medication is like 1/4 of the pie. It's pretty important. It helps to level you out, and to give you a base to work from.

Counselling is like another 1/4 of the pie. A good counselor can help you to develop coping skills and to find out what the root causes and triggers of your depression are.

The biggest part, though, is the homework. That's the last half of the pie. You have to put everything you've got together and work your way out of it. It means applying everything you've learned in counselling, and keeping track of your mood so that you can see if medication is helping. You also need to keep your sleep schedule in check, exercise regularly and keep your diet clean. That is what does the majority of the work in controlling mental illness.

Your friend's experience with antidepressants is a common one. Thing is, you're not supposed to start and stop antidepressants without strict medical supervision. Often, though, patients will stop taking them at the first sign of recovery because they feel fine. That's a big mistake. SSRIs make a big difference in your brain chemistry. Missing doses or stopping cold turkey messes up your brain, and causes huge emotional disturbances.

I can tell you that I have had bad experiences with antidepressants, but that is because I don't have depression (I was misdiagnosed; I have bipolar disorder). Something that I learned was that if a medication isn't doing what it's supposed to, or you're experiencing terrible side effects, that you need to demand a change. You can't just wait for it to happen.

So basically, I would suggest seeking all of the above. If you don't want to take medication, you have the option of saying no. Nobody can force you to take something you don't want to. Just make sure that you have all your bases covered.

Sorry it took me a while to answer this one. I took some time off to visit family for Thanksgiving :)

The standards that you and your boyfriend set for your relationship are up to you two individually.

Personally, I don't have a problem with my fiance looking at porn so long as I know he's keeping his fantasies in his pants. I figure it's better for him to get his curiosity about other women out of his system this way.

However, you might not be as comfortable with this as I am. In this case, you need to discuss with your boyfriend exactly why you are uncomfortable with him looking at porn. Between the two of you, you need to come up with a compromise. Note that I say compromise: you can't just order him to stop looking. He will lie to you and conceal his activities like he has been doing. If he has some say in the boundaries, he'll be far more likely to follow them. Like maybe if you guys watch porn together instead of him doing it alone.

Don't be too worried about this. Guys get curious about other women, and not just when they've been married for 20 years. They can't help what they feel, but they do have choice in their actions. A good guy will keep it in his pants, and that's what it sounds like your boyfriend is doing :)

Nobody on this website is going to tell you how to kill yourself.

At this point in time, you need to do whatever it takes so that you're there for your wife and daughters. This isn't about you anymore, it's about them. Suicide means that there is absolutely nothing, not one little thing left in this world to live for. You have at least 5 things that I can count.

If you don't think you can hold on, though, you need to call a suicide hotline in your area, or even your hospital emergency room. Tell them that you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, have had a history of attempts, and that you do not feel safe.

If you have some time, then you need to get in touch with a counselor, preferably one who has experience with PTSD. The military may be able to help you with this, as can your family doctor. Counseling is more of a wholistic treatment, as opposed to straight up psychiatry, which is more "here's your diagnosis, here's your pills". Your counselor can work with you to find out if your medication is working for you (very possible that it isn't: you may need an increased dosage, or a different kind), what aspects of your life you can change to make things better, and teach you coping skills to help you deal with oncoming crises.

You need to be there for your daughters. I'm sure you want to see them graduate, walk them down the aisle, hold your grandbabies... Those are all things that you miss out on if you're not here. And it would hurt them. When a father commits suicide, it scars the children for life, not to mention everyone around him. Everyone wonders whether there was something, anything they could have done. Suicide is a hostile act that damages everyone else around the individual.

Nobody ever said life would be easy. You have been given two extra chances. As someone who has also had that chance extended to me, and has grabbed hold of it with a reasonable degree of success, I can tell you that you are a very lucky person. Make use of that luck!

Do the best you can, and if someone yells at you, yell right back at them.

"Oh, like yelling at me is going to make me play any better!"

People who are good at sports tend to be jerks to those of us who aren't so good. If the harassment gets too bad, take the issue to your gym instructor.

I guess I'm the exception in this case, because I moved in with my now-fiance when I was 19. We've been together for 4 years now and are planning on getting married next year!

It all depends on the relationship. Moving in together doesn't so much ruin the relationship as it does amplify any problems you may have had. So, if your boyfriend was lazy, you'd see more of it and be really cranky about it. That, and it's also really hard to sort out the "who buys what, who does what chores" thing. Then again, those are all issues that you'd need to confront anyhow when you did move in together later in your relationship.

Fighting in a relationship isn't the end of the world. I fight with my guy all the time. It's what kind of fighting and how it ends that matters. If you have fights because you're confronting an issue, and the fights end with both of you coming away with a better understanding, then you're golden. If you're bickering constantly and refusing to listen to each other, not so good.

Guys like turning girls on. Your boyfriend wants to make you as happy as you make him :)

I've asked my fiance, and he's said that yes, there is a smell and a taste, but it isn't bad. Guys associate it with your arousal, so it's a good thing for them. The obvious exception is when there's a health issue behind it (like a yeast infection). Also, when they're really going you end up kind of coated in saliva, so that's all they're really tasting after a while.

Don't stress about being totally glisteningly bald. Unlike in the pornography industry, not all women are entirely nekkid down there. Your boyfriend won't expect you to be baby smooth. Your pubic hair choices are your own to make.

How can you prepare? First off, ignore the advice that you douche. It messes up the normal balance of chemicals in your vagina and can make things worse. Your vagina is a self-cleaning machine; it doesn't need anything extra.

Shower with a mild soap, and you should be good. If you're really self-conscious about the taste or smell, you can have a flavoured lubricant on hand. You can get these at just about any drug store, and they're really good for masking flavours and scents.

Most of all, relax and have a good time. Lots of girls have to beg for the special treatment!

It's when guys don't wear underpants.

Aren't you glad you know now? ;)

Most women can't orgasm from just penetration, no matter what the media tells you.

The first time especially isn't usually all that enjoyable unless you're really comfortable with the person you're with and love them a whole lot. Otherwise it's sort of painful and uncomfortable and weird.

In order to orgasm during sex, you may need to involve your hands or toys during the act. If he gets you worked up beforehand as well, that may help.

To enjoy sex, though, you need to be 100% comfortable with your partner. Trust and caring is essential, IMHO.

I'm 23, and I'm generally okay with buying them. I think it depends on the relationship you're in. When I get to the checkout, I usually get wished luck because the lady assumes I'm trying to conceive XD

However, I think there's one time when it is embarrassing, and that's when you run into someone you know. I ran into a professor of mine once and had to have a conversation with him before turning down the family planning aisle. He saw me looking at pregnancy tests, turned fuschia and looked away. Funny stuff. I think it's just because it's evidence that you're having sex, so it makes them think briefly about you having sex, and that embarrasses both of you.

Well, you've said it yourself. Erik isn't interested, and now you have this to put more distance between you. I would have to say that for now, things likely won't happen.

It was pretty mean of those guys to prank you (and Erik) like that, but I worked in a kitchen at one point and I remember the razzing I got from the chefs. It's a weird dynamic, right?

I think that one of the best things you could do would be to do the same thing to them. If you can get Erik in on it, this can get really funny. Cover Erik's car with proclamations of love from the other two guys. If he's involved, have him accept a date from one of them (with big hugs and jumping up and down, "I thought you'd never ask!") or if he isn't, he'll at least get a good laugh and the joke will be redirected at the other two guys. They'll get the message, either way.

I'm going to give you a warning before I give you advice, so bear with me. Here's the thing about a crush. Crushes are often terribly disappointing. Crushes are superficial and therefore usually doomed to failure as anything more. You can't be in love with someone who doesn't know you exist. One cute guy isn't the be-all and end-all of the world. He's not worth losing ground in school and life in general over, because he's a stranger.

That said, if you want to meet him you need to find out where he is. Does he do any activities? Have a job somewhere you can get to? Strategically bump into him and strike up a conversation. Even something as simple as "You look awfully familiar... do I know you from somewhere?" will help to break the ice. From there, if he shows receptiveness, go ahead and ask him out! If he's cold or seems weirded out by your approach, hold off. Just flash him a smile next time you see him to cement yourself in his memory.

Apparently there are some serious risks involved:

http://www.fda.gov/ForConsumers/ConsumerUpdates/ucm225210.htm

Then again, there are some serious risks involved in smoking. I guess it just goes to show that there's no easy way.

If you're going to take them and don't want to be talked out of it, then why are you posting here? You've managed to hold on for at least the last 12 hours with these sorts of feelings, so hold on a bit longer.

Whatever problems you're dealing with can be sorted out. I've been there, and it's just not worth it to end your life, even if it feels like it right now.

I want you to do me a favour right now. Pick up the phone and call a crisis hotline in your area. Or you could call a religious counselor, if that's your thing. Or call an ambulance and have yourself committed until you feel safe with your thoughts again.

Then, get yourself some help. It takes work, but you've still got some years ahead of you: why not enjoy them? With counseling and medication, you can get around just about any issue. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that it all disappears. Your problems are still there, but they become manageable. They become worth dealing with in order to live out a happy, fulfilling life.

Don't kill yourself. This is an obvious plea for help, and the best way to get that help is to pick up your phone right now.

You can't 'make' your parents do anything. You say you're 'almost' grown up. Note the 'almost'... until you are paying your own bills, living on your own, you're not an adult and you have to follow your parents' rules.

Your parents are being involved. They want you to be safe. That's what these rules are for. Just because you think you know everything about the way the world works doesn't mean that you actually do. Remember that they were your age once, and they know what kind of trouble someone who's 16 and given free rein can get into.

If you want your parents to treat you like an adult, start acting like one. You're not entitled to go to the beach, or to stay out past 8. You don't NEED to. Try following their rules to the letter, no complaining. Do this for a while. Could take a long time, might not. Show them that you can be mature and responsible, and they might ease up on you.

My warning flags went right up on this one.

He is possessive and jealous and mistrustful, not to mention controlling. If you stick around, those behaviours will only get worse.

The moment a guy tries to dictate who you are and are not allowed to hang around, they're overstepping their boundaries in a huge way.

Why should you be worried? Because this is how a lot of abusive (emotionally or otherwise) men get their start. They see that they can control their partner, so they see how far they can push it.

Give him an ultimatum: either he puts on his big boy pants and accepts that you will spend time with whomever you like, or you will leave him so that you can do as you choose. You can't live under someone else's thumb.

So you're playing hard to get in order to make him like you. You were so kind as to finally give him a chance, and now you're mad at him because he's not jumping for it?

Seriously, no guy likes these mind games. Men aren't stupid. They recognize when they're being played, and they don't appreciate it, because it's really disrespectful to them. He has very likely lost interest by this point, or he's giving you a taste of your own medicine.

If he does end up talking to you again, I would suggest behaving like a normal person instead of taking romantic advice from magazines, because that stuff never works! Talk to him like you would a guy friend. You don't need to do strange social acrobatics to win the boy ;)

You've got a lot of reading to do! Here's what my fiance (who is a Batman fanatic) says your list order should be:

Death in the Family
Haunted Knight
The Long Halloween (but it's a stand-alone so you can read it any time)
Dark Victory (the sequel to Long Halloween)
Hush
Arkham Asylum
The Killing Joke
Under the Hood
R.I.P
Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader

I can personally suggest Cacophony. It was written by Kevin Smith (of Mallrats & Clerks fame).

He also recommends Cataclysm (for after The Killing Joke, before Under the Hood) and War Drums, War Games and War Crimes (for after Cataclysm, before Under the Hood).

I don't know anything about your past, but I can tell you that you should really think twice (no, make that ten times) before accusing your father of sexually abusing you with no evidence other than what you've said here. You could cause some serious problems, and maybe even land your father in jail, all because you've got a beef with his parenting skills.

Sounds to me like your biggest problem is that you're a teenager. That's right. You're a teenager, and your father has the gall to try and parent you.

Look. Everyone goes through this. When I was 16, I got grounded for a month because I came home an hour late. I hated my parents. They were being unfair. Little did I know at the time that they were just worried about me because I hadn't called.

As long as you live under your father's roof, you have to follow his rules. That means taking the punishment you deserve when you break those rules. Those rules exist to keep you safe and to keep the household running smoothly.

No such thing.

Sure, there might be methods out there that are not messy in a "doesn't require mop and bucket" kind of way, but the emotional mess can't be prevented, and that's the worst kind.

I know this from the perspective of someone who has tried and failed, and seen what even a near miss does to those around them.

We have some things in common. I've been beyond the point where I stopped wanting to live. I've felt like my life is an irretrievable failure, after failing out of school several times and losing all of my friends and most of my family due to my depressive spells. I had almost nothing left, and what little there was couldn't keep me above the surface.

When I tried, I caused a huge ripple effect around me. My fiance blamed himself, because he was home when I took the pills and he didn't stop me. My father started to drink and ended up in a deep depression. My mother was trying to hold the family together. My sister didn't find out until after her exams, thank goodness, but when she did find out it ruined her winter holidays. My friends blamed themselves for not doing something. Everyone was hurting, and it was all because of me. And I didn't even succeed. Just think what you'd be doing to your mother, going without any warning like that. You at least need to give her a chance to help you.

There is always hope, and always a reason to live. I went and got help through a crisis line in my city. I got involved with a psychiatrist, got diagnosed, got on a medication that works (after a few trials and errors), got counselling to help me develop coping skills, and now, 10 months later, I'm looking at being cut loose from regular care. I'm happy and healthy, for the first time in the last 5 years.

You need to talk to someone close to you; a friend, a parent, a guidance counselor, a crisis hotline. You need to get help to get you through this. No boy is worth killing yourself over, and neither is a false friendship. Just because you can't get a job doesn't mean you're worthless... look at the unemployment rates these days. You're not alone. Take some time to rebuild yourself. Live for you for a while, and try to fill your days with things that make you happy and fulfilled.

You're surprisingly nonchalant, considering you have a permanent STI! Don't let the wording fool you... what you have is every bit as serious as something like herpes. There is no cure... you can only treat the outbreaks as they come.

You should absolutely tell your boyfriend, and you should be using protection. Chances are, however, that if he's had sex with you during an outbreak he will have contracted the virus as well.

He deserves to know. In the future, if you have a concern like that, get it checked out immediately! You can't drag your feet when it comes to your health and the health of your partner.

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.

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