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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I have to go swimming soon but I'm on my period. My teacher gets mad if u don't have a note. I don't want to write the reason cause he's a guy and my dad has to write it. What can I get him To write ?

Having your parents write a note is noting to be embarrassed about. Both your dad and your teacher are adults and I can assure you are well aware that you are a young lady of the age to have periods.

I would suggest you write a not to have your father sign. it would go something like this:

Dear Mr.__________
Please excuse my daughter _______ from swim class for the next seven days.

Thank you

MR. ________

I'm sure your teacher will understand from this note why you need to be excused without actually having to use the words.

I again urge you to become less embarrassed about the different functions of your body. In today's world with sex education being taught in school we have all become very familiar with the different functions of both the male and female body.

All married men become very familiar with the menstrual cycles of their wives and eventually their daughters. You may not announce your period has arrived but there are little tell tale signs someone close to you like a parent picks up on. There is also the evidence from the wrappers for you sanitary protection wrappers left in the bathroom. These are the things parents pick up on so that they don't have to ask their daughters if they have gotten their period for this month yet.

I may have just given away a parental secret, although for what I believe is a good reason. There are somethings in life that we can do that we will find embarrassing. When it comes to natural body functions we all have them and we should never be embarrassed by them as it is part of life.

Hi, guys and gals!

Bottom line: I have a new neighbor. He goes to the same church as me as well, and though I have not met him -- my aunt/uncle, and neighbor (she owns the house he moved into, which is right behind her house) know him very well and he is very sweet, good looking, etc. I could tell that from a far at church, however, I haven't gotten to introduce myself yet.

I am wondering, considering he is 33 and I am turning 19, is that a big deal? He is the marrying type, very clean cut and so on. I am not for partying and all of that, so that wouldn't be a problem. But still, do you think this age difference will make a difference?

Thanks!

Ashley- P.S. ANY help is appreciated.

Age is just a number; it really does not matter what other people think. What matters is what the two people involved think.

At the moment though I think you have put the cart in front of the horse and may be mistaking infatuation for something it is not and may never be. You need to put things in there proper place and perspective.

Start by getting introduced to this man. Then see if there is a mutual interest and see where it goes. If there is a mutual interest that can grow into a love affair then the age difference again becomes jut a number.

My husband and I have a girlfriend but he is into it more than I am. It was my idea to keep our relationship interesting and to be honest it kind of turns me on to think of him with another woman BUT at times I find myself getting somewhat jealous of this other woman. I don't know if it is a good idea to continue this if I get jealous when he kisses her or texts her. But at the same time I like watching them have sex especially if I am apart of it. I'm worried that my emotions are going to cause this relationship to cause problems with my husband and I. I know he is enjoying this and all I want is for him to be happy. I don't want him to get bored with me. But I don't know if it is wise to continue this if I am not 100% happy with this arrangement. I am also 9 months pregnant so that may have something to do with why my emotions are up and down about this. I'm torn...

I'm not sure you hormones are not playing a part in how your feeling at the moment. I am also not sure that a committed 3 way relationship is a true open marriage and one that avoids certain pit falls. To me a committed 3 way relationship faces some of the same pitfalls that marriages face or as we have seen in the shows like Sister Wives.

I do agree with the others that you may not have set a proper foundation for your open marriage. When I advise others on sex I tell them how wonder full sex can be between two consenting adults and that nothing is kinky if both partners are consenting.

At the moment you are not fully consenting to this relationship. You should put this relationship on hold until after the baby is born. During this time you and your husband need to revisit this idea. Something about this relationship is causing you concern that may be more than kissing or texting.

Jealousy can be a fatal disease to a marriage whether it is real or not. You need to find out what the real cause of your jealousy is. Look back and find out when it started; Was it there before you got pregnant or did it start when you could not fully participate in sex with your husband and girlfriend.

If after all this soul searching you come to the conclusion that you still enjoy an open marriage but need to make some adjustments; would partner swapping be agreeable. Finding another couple to swap with. Would group swapping be agreeable. This would be more anonymous style of partner swapping for which jealousy should b eliminated and 3somes can be had.

Most importantly you need to find the root cause of your feelings of jealousy. See if there is away to correct those feelings and build from there before it ruins your marriage.

How can I cum while having sex quicker or in the normal missionary position because so far all I've been able to is during doggy style

The doggy position allows for more contact between the penis and the vagina, also a tighter contact creating more friction.

Different positions might help you enjoy a mutual climax. Below is a link to a web page I found that has a pictorial guide to several different positions you might try.

http://www.sexual-health-resource.org/sex_positions.htm#positions

I've been asking my mom for an email,but she keeps on saying no.How can I convince her to let me have one?

You did not give your age, which makes it hard to answer this question. For the purpose of this answer I will assume you are a very young teenager or possibly younger person.

Just for the record I am of the age that I am old enough to be the grandparent of anyone under the age of mid 20's. When I answer questions I tell it like it is regardless of the type of question based on research when I need to and the wisdom my age has given me. I never sugar coat the truth.

That being said, I believe I understand where your mom is coming from. The Internet is a wonderful place, a great invention to spread communication and a place to research information, which makes it a learning tool as well.

The Internet is also a dangerous place as well. This is where moms problem takes hold. I don't believe that it is a trust issue she has with you or that she wants to totally invade your privacy by reading your E-mails between you and your friends. Lurking in the bowels of cyberspace are people who are out to do you harm. They are very good at attracting young people like yourself into doing things they should not be doing. Like going someplace to meet them. You may be talking with them on the web for a long time when they ask to meet. The fact remains they are still strangers and may not be who they have you believe they are.

That is the danger of the web. Young people have not developed the internal security alarms that we as adults have developed. As young adults the thrill of the unknown is almost over powering. This is where parental control comes in. What you see as an invasion of privacy is a protection for your safety and well being. You will say to yourself many times between now and the time you go off on your own; "I will never be this way with my children." Don't bet anything of value on that because you will be and may be even more strict than your parents are with you.

The primary job as a parent is the safety and well being of their children. This is something we learn on the job as children do not come with owners manuals. We constantly have to adapt to a changing world. Our parents had many of the same worries they we now face but without the added impact that the Internet brings.

If you are as young as I believe you may be I have a suggestion for you and your mom. There are two ways she can give you your own E-mail address. Web browsers like yahoo all have E-mail. In the settings area for any E-mail address you can have the mail forwarded automatically forwarded to moms' E-mail address. Mom can set up an E-mail address for you then go into settings and have any in coming mail forwarded to the family E-mail so she con monitor. The other way is to set up an address for you and allow mom to know the password so she can access your mail. Also you only read and send E-mail, mom does all the deleting and storing.

My wife is constatnly fighting with me calling me an alcoholic on a daily basis and throwing huge fits all the time about drinking. I am a well educated profession who drinks only about once a month, weekend only. When I do drink I will have several drinks, get a nice buzz, eat and go to sleep.

She comes from an alcoholic family (father, brothers) and says my drinking is a MAJOR issue, but I don't get into trouble, I do it only at home, I never go to bars, I dont drive or hurt anyone or anything, and I have a great job and treat her very well, and I only do it every so often, as I said about once a month. I see no problem except that she dislikes it so much.

Is this truly an alcohol issue or is this something that is about her and her past? What should I do besides stopping entirely which I dont think is fair. If i want to drink once a month on a Saturday after a long week, why can't I?

Your wife has a problem with people that drink stemming from her family life. This is something that will continue to eat away at your marriage until the two of you face up to the problem and resolve it.

Yes, it will take both of you to resolve the problem. She has to learn to be more tolerant of people, like you, who are social drinkers and and people like members of her family who are alcoholics. While you seem to understand this is an issue of hers you need to find away to help her understand social drinkers are not alcoholics and are not like family members.

Normally I would recommend family counseling, but this issue does not, yet rise to that level. Asking her to see a therapist may be something she would fight you on but something you should try to get her to do and you should offer to attend a few sessions with her.

I'm also thinking that Al-anon might be able to help. Al-anon was formed to help people like your wife who are family or friends of problem drinkers. Al-anon helps them deal with the problems they face by meeting with others who have similar problems.

While al-anon is not an exact fit for your wife's problem Im hoping she will see that social drinking and chronic drinking differ. I am also hoping that through al-anon guidance you will be more successful in getting her into therapy.

Okay, I have to do a 10 page paper on the death penalty. I have tried to find a case where someone who has gotten the death penalty was inocent... does anyone know of one???
Thanks, or if you have any info relating to the topic.

If you type the following into a search engine you will find what you are looking for.

"condemned to die later found innocent"

I'm a 16 year old girl and I'm not sure which problems are the causes of others, and etc.. so I'll just say all of them. I'm a perfectionist with extreme procrastination (its basically ruined my entire junior year so far. and i've had it for as long as i can remember but it's just getting worse), I'm afraid of success because I'm afraid of being able to sustain it... though I really want to be successful. I have big dreams but I find it hard to notice how little things affect the big picture.. I just see the big picture, and I delude myself into thinking I can get, without doing much work beforehand. I thought I had high self esteem because I was able to stand up for myself.. but I was just pushing all my problems to my subconscious.. because I now realize that I actually have low self esteem.. and I'd somehow convinced myself I'd become more confident. Also, its easy for me to ask questions in class over work but its very hard for me to ask for help in general over personal issues.. like all what I'm talking about right now. I think I'd feel a lot more comfortable with a therapist than with anyone else. Whenever people ask me if I'm okay its very hard to admit I'm not.. every day I keep saying I'm fine cause I don't want to break down in front of my parents, teachers, etc. Generally I feel like people don't care about me.. which seems silly cause I know my family does.. but i dont know I just feel neglected, and sad because I think I've missed out on a lot of childhood and teen things. I don't have anyone I could call my best friend and etc and I don't know why this gets to me so much when I tell myself that it shouldn't matter. But its hard to go on facebook and see everyone else have fun. But I think I'd be a good friend to people but idk they always let me down.. but at the same time I think its also my fault cause I always underestimate the strength of my friendships with others.. its just.. ugh. I just wish I could have better relationships with people.. I mean even my relationships with people on the internet is a lot better. Like everyday these problems are on my mind and its driving me crazy cause I don't know how to stop and the work keeps piling on and all these bad habits have just gotten a lot worse... but it's just so hard to tell people this.. I tell them I don't need help when I know I need it.

I'm also socially awkward (due to my lack of much social experience due to not having much close friends) and tend to eat my feelings (even though I want to lose weight). I always feel burdened by a lot of regrets because I say I want to do a lot of things but I just don't do them and its annoying because I blame myself.. as I'm the only one who can change me, but why cant I get myself to do it? what the hell is wrong.. like I cant even control my own actions? why am I so lazy like this?

I'm looking for therapists on this website: http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php
But I don't know what criteria I should be looking for in a therapist.. in terms of what I'd label my problems as, in the drop down menu. Should I email or call the therapist, too? And what exactly do I say? Do I summarize the mess I wrote here (Idk how to though) or what? Should I talk to them first or ask my parents to talk with them first, too?

Thanks so much, you don't even know

It is hard to say what is really bothering you. Even i could it wouldn't be proper to diagnose anyone over the web and none of us on this website would do so.

There are a lot of pressures put on teenagers today. The pressure to get good grades so you can get into a good college. The pressure to start acting more like an adult than a child. You are going through puberty and have all these hormones racing through your body. Your body is changing. For girls it is a lot worse for her body is changing and on top of all the other teenage problems she has to learn how to fend of boys.

Just typing that paragraph caused me to get a little depressed, you are living the paragraph. Self-diagnosis is not going to work, neither is trying to find a therapist by searching the web. Start by seeing your family doctor.

You can visit your family doctor in total confidence as nothing you tell your doctor can be told to you parents as you are over 13 years old, that is the law. Congress passed a law called HIPPA which, in brief says, if over 13 a doctor must have written permission from you to release a ca information to anyone including your parents. The exception is if you are unable to care for yourself such as being unconscious. Failure to adhere can pt the doctor in jail for up to 5 years.

So as I said start with your family doctor. Tell him/her just what is going on in your life and how you feel. You may be referred to another doctor for treatment and medication or your doctor will prescribe some medication. Either way you will be given the names of therapists to talk to. It is important to be comfortable with your therapist so interview them and make sure you are comfortable talking with them before you start therapy. I would suggest you look for a female therapist as I feel you will be more comfortable with a female.

The therapist may want to speak with your parent(s) after your therapy visits. This is not to tell them what went on in your therapy session as the therapist falls under the same law as the doctor. The therapist will want to discuss with your parents ways they can help you at home between visits.

my name is michaelyn & this weekend is going to be valentine's weekend. I have been dating a 17- year old boy for the past four months and i am 15 going on 16 very soon. i love him very much & it's been the best 4 months of my life. well, we have done everything except sex so far and we've had so many opportunites to, but we decided to wait for a special day to have sex that way we'll always remember it. this would be our first times having sex. i am not on birth control so we would be using a condom & pulling out to prevent pregnancy. what is some do's & don't's about sex? and how can you make it great?

also, the one thing that concerns me is pregnancy. i am 5 ft 1' and i weigh about 102 pounds. i've only ever gotten my period twice. once for a whole week in 2009 and once for a whole week in 2010. but that's it. i know everyone has a chance of getting pregnant, but what do you consider me? if i haven't had a regular period at all in my life & i've only gotten it twice in 3 years? my mom's called the gyno and she said that in sept. 2011 she'll do an ultra sound if i don't get it by then. but do you think i should be completely freaked out about getting pregnant? or should i just enjoy it & know that everything will be alright & we'll get through such a beautiful moment in our relationship.

we are both catholic so we don't consider ourselves "fucking" we consider it making love.. so as much as it's a sin to some people.. to me.. it's a gift to share such great love. and i am so thankful i am with someone who means so much to me. i'm very excited but please help with the do's and don'ts! and also about the chances of pregnancy. & i made sure i'm ready. just the scary pregnancy risks scares me so much.

i also i have the day after pill in my room for an emergency. i think i'm pretty well prepared. if i took the day after pill, would it make me bleed a lot because i haven't had a period in forever?

thank you so much guys!

The beauty of the Hippa law is that what is between you and your doctor stays between you and your doctor. You do not need parental permission for any medication. Birth Control pills are a medication. If your doctor will prescribe it for yo, there being no medical reason being you cannot have it, mom can't say no. You prop ably will have to pay any deductible outbof your allowance or other funds.. Doctors have many reasons other than birth control for prescribing birth control pill.

In opinion you are not ready for a sexual relationship. First: you are too young, just 15 and your body is still maturing. While I agree that you should wait for special occasion so your time is memorable what you and your boyfriend have planned sounds more like a battle plan than a loving event. Second: Where do you plan to make love. Is it safe and secure; someplace you will not be intruded on so you can take your time. Have you and your boyfriend learned about each others likes and dislikes? Is this the first time you will be naked together?

Since this is the first time for both of you it might be better to go at this in smaller steps. Get to know each others bodies first. Let him finger you and give you oral sex first. Let him play with your breasts and suck on your nipples. Allow him to explore your entire body front and back. You needs to do the same to him. Hand jobs, blow jobs and heavy petting can be just as satisfying as actual sex while you learn about each others body and there is no fear of pregnancy.

Then when you are truly comfortable with each others nakedness, hopefully by then you will have regular periods and your doctor will give you birth control pills, then you can have enjoyable sex not painful sex. Even if you are on birth control pills get in the habit of using condoms as well.

Your first sexual experience is one you will never forget. I can be one of the best experiences of your life if it is not rushed into. Most important is a safe, secure setting, and peace of mind that it brings along with proper protection against pregnancy and disease.

How do I stop this? I don't understand why they do it, I'm an honor roll student who has never gotten into trouble. My parents always look angry every time I come back home, asking me all sorts of questions and acting like I'm lying the entire time. They hardly let me go out as it is. What can I do to make them less protective?

This question is about as old as man kind. It would help if I know your age, since I do not I will go with a more generic answer.

I don't think the problem is that your parents think your lying or that they don't trust you. The problem is the mistrust they have for the world we live in a mistrust that unfortunately is somewhat well deserved.

In many cases things that were once considered child play are now criminalized. Children are forced to grow up long before they are ready physically or emotionally to handle some of the situations they may find themselves in.

Last but not least is children do not come with owners manuals. Parents learn their parenting skills on the job. They fall back on what they know which is how their parents raised them. If they feel their parents were to lenient then they will be stricter with their children. If they feel their parents may have been to strict or to smothering they may choose to be less so.

We read books, we listen to so called experts who tell us how we should be raising our children. Tough love was all the rage at one time. News flash it not only didn't work it back fired. Yet we still listen to these so called experts rather than follow our instincts.

Most of all we are scared. We are scared for your safety, as your safety and well being is our job one. Some children feel their privacy is being violated if they have to account for every minute of their lives. You do owe your parents the respect of telling them where you have been and maybe a little about what you have been doing.

If your having sex, that is something you probably do not want to share with your parents. I see nothing wrong with coming home and instead of waiting to be interrogated; saying hi mom after school Julie, Jan and I went to the mall. We window shopped, had coffee, met some other friends and basically just hung out. I'm going to room now to start my homework call me when dinners ready.

Instead of waiting for mom to give you the 3rd degree you volunteered the information you were willing to share with her. That information should be more than enough to let mom know where you were and what you were doing. Until she has reason to believe differently she should not ask any further questions. By volunteering the information you defused her reason for asking and any heated debate about privacy you might get into.

I'm sure what you see as being very protective is just your parents way of making sure you are safe and making safe decisions. If you try my way I believe you will find a more peaceful existence between you and your parents.

So, I'm thinking of making a short movie for my GCSE Art final piece for this term.
I've chosen Fear as a topic, and I've been taking photos, doing artist studies, observational drawings, etc. But I've decided to make a movie as my final piece, there aren't any time limits that I know of.
Ideas that I have:
A documentary about what people fear ( As in people talking)
Acting out a couple of nightmares, or scenes.
Making up a horror scene.
So, that's what I've managed to come up with, if anyone has any extra ideas, some short movies I can watch for inspiration, or any scenes I could act out. No matter how small your idea is, please post it.
Also, I need some good horror/creepy music.
Any suggestions are appreciated. (:
Thanks.

Fear can be defined in two different ways, such as unnatural fears and fears that act as safety checks.

An example of an unnatural fear is claustrophobia; the fear of small spaces. A fear that acts as a safety valve one that keeps you safe would be the one that tells you not to walk down that dark alley.

A documentary film such as this does not need music or actors reading lines.It is over dubbed by announcer telling the story you are telling.

This may not be the exact story you want to tell but something like it may be a unique to answer the assignment.

okay so me and my girlfriend were getting coffee and since it was night and the noise from the cars and people went away, we thought that it was okay to have some fun . so we started playing on the park slides and when we got to the monkey bars we started kissing and soon we were making out and when i held her i found out she was wet and we were about to take it to the next level and we did but is this illegal because i dont want us to get in trouble

Having sex where you run the risk of being caught is part of a fetish group. The laws against this differ from state to state and run the gamut of indecent exposure to trespassing. Depending on the age difference between you and your girlfriend and the age of consent in your state other laws could come into play.

I don't think you and your girlfriend planned to have sex in the park, it just happened. While the fetish of sex in risky places can be exciting the consequences if caught can be harsh. I would suggest you confine your sexual acts to more traditional places.

Just a reminder: When you do have sex always use a condom, even if the girl is on birth control.

Those who wrote about not killing themselves have never faced financial ruin caused by economics.
Money is the breath and soul of life. Those who do not discuss money are hiding it.
Wouldn't you kill yourself if you lost everything as I have? I will find a painless way to kill myself,,, I will.

There are different types of financial ruin. As long as you are not facing prison you can start over. Even if you are facing prison, when you get out you can start over.

Given today's economic times, high unemployment, foreclosures, bankruptcies do not have the stigma they had as recently as just 5 years ago. Even when they did it was not a reason to end ones life.

By contemplating suicide you are admitting failure. I for one do not think you are a failure. There where and are many circumstances that worked against the brightest of financiers to cause many to loose much if not all of their worth. This is not the 1930's, you do not see bankers and investors jumping out the windows on wall street. The smart people, the young and the old, who played the financial market to amass great wealth are doing what they can to keep what they can.

You say you are facing financial ruin. To me that means you are not quite yet there. Stop belly aching about it. You must be a smart person to get wherever it is you are and to accumulate whatever you have.

Get some help to clear the cob webs of depression from your head and then do what I believe you know how to do. Protect as much of what you built as you can. Horde it, become stingy with your spending. Sure you won't have the life you are accustomed to, that won't last for ever.

The present economy won't last for ever either. While the economy is mending, you mend yourself. As you mend you watch for the openings that allowed you to have financial success in the past. It will happen again and you will want to be here to take advantage of it for when those things start to occur it is going to be big and it is going to be fast. You are going to want to jump on the band wagon and once again ride the high you have known. This time you will be a little wiser and secure some of your wealth from any future down turns.

This is not a pipe dream. My parents lived through the great depression. They and their parents felt just as you do know. Look what happened. We had half a century of great wealth until someone(s) got greedy. The world will get wealthy again, don't you want to be there when it does?

Hi,
I noticed you answered a question regarding psychotropic medications taking a week or so to work. I wanted to let you know that they can actually take three to four weeks to get to the proper blood-level. The one-week timeline is a misconception that causes a lot of people to think they're not getting any better when in reality, the chemicals haven't kicked in yet.

Anyway. Feel free to reject or delete this if you like; I just wanted to inform you so you can continue giving the wonderful, kind advice you've been giving here. :)

You are correct in that it takes or could take that long to get to ful effective levels. Especiallyiyo avework up to the required dosage level.

Thanks for the reminder.

If you say anything about "There's a reason for you to be here" or anything about God or giving life a second chance, shove it. I'm 22, have had diabetes since I was 9, have had multiple sclerosis for over a year, have been the president of a club on faith, and have done so many other things that people have suggested. No one gives a shit about me, and that is that. People who I've taken care of for years don't care about me.Life, is bull shit. What is the best way to end it, in your guy's opinion? The least amount of mess too, I've thought about using my pistol, but then there will be brain matter for others to clean up. What is the easiest and cleanest way to commit suicide?

Oh, poor poor you. Your sick, no one likes, you have no reason to live. It appears to me just from reading the answers hear you better get on line as you aren't the Ly one who has problems.

As someone who is old enough Tobe your grandfather I will tell you life is not like the old TV shows. Life is what you make of it. Sure you have some problems. You can either sit there and say your screwed or you can find away to make a life for yourself by working through your problems and or disabilities.

At 58 years old I became disabled in a 3 car accident.I was the only innocent person in that mess and the only one seriously hurt. I went through all the grief one goes through in this situation and added to it I had to deal with lawyers and workman's compensation.

On top of my injuries I became depressed. It has taken a long time but I see things differently today than 6 years ago. It has taken a lot of time with the help of very good therapist and psychiatrist to get here, as well as medication. Medication or therapy alone would not have gotten me to where I am today. I also had to develop a positive attitude.

So you see by what I and the rest of us have written you are not alone in having what appears to be insurmountable problems. But problems can be cut down to sizes that can be handled if you work at it.

If you really wanted to kill yourself you would not have written us for you would have known we could not and would not tell yo how to do that. All of us are here to help you if you want help our help.

You can start by picking up the phone and dialing 911. Tell them how you are feeling and maybe read them what you wrote to us. They will send both police and fire rescue to your home. The police are sent to help not to arrest or harm you. Remember what your mom told you when yo were little; "the police our your friends". In this instance the absolutely are your friends. They are being sent to see that you are safe and properly cared for. Fire Rescue are there to care and transport you to the hospital where you will receive the proper medical attention.

You will not feel better over night. It takes a week or so for the medication to kick in. But with a little work on your part, the fog that surrounds you will slowly start to lift. You will feel better about yourself, you will see things more clearly and your friends will like being around you again.

i really want to die. this feeling never goes away. i'm not exaggerating, i've felt this way for almost a decade.
I've done everything. many types of therapy, different drugs, trying to OD, i still cut myself.
I'm sick of it.
Peoplesay they care, but it's so fickle. when they decide they don't need me, they change their minds.
My mom hates me.
My dad left because of me.
My family blames me.
I have no friends.

I just want a way to end this.
I'm sick of people telling me to not do it, because it doesn't help, it makes me feel worse.
ODing doesn't work, i can't get my hands on a firearm.

If life wants me to quit so badly, why can't it make it easier to do so?

I wish I had the time and space to write what needs to be written. I would also like to know you better so I could earn your trust to show you that what you feel may not be the actual truth. I say this because I have lived most of my life with some of the feelings you have expressed here and I am now old enough to be your grandfather.

I don't think your father left because of you. I think that is an excuse your mother may have given you to put the blame on someone for your father leaving. Unless you have heard this from your fathers lips don't believe it.

There is a difference between hate and love. I can't say and I find it hard to believe a mother would hate her own child. Even if a mother for some reason did hate her child her maternal instincts would not allow her not to love her child.

As for family; not knowing the extent of how you are using the word I will not even go there.

What I do see in your writing is someone who is severely depressed. Is see that you have tried therapy. Therapy alone does not aways work. Therapy in conjunction with medication usually works better. Problem is doctors do not like to prescribe antidepressants for anyone under 18 because of some side effects.

I would like you do two things for me. First: I would like you to call the following organization;
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-TALK (8255). Tell them what you wrote to us. They can help you. Ask them to help you find a medical doctor who can treat your depression and a therapist to talk with you who is knowledgeable in your type of problem. You may be more comfortable taking to a women so don't be afraid to as for females.

Second: There is another organization called RAINN. This stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. Feeling as you do they too can help for you express yourself as mentally abused. Their number is 1-800-656-hope.

Both of these numbers are hot lines operated 24/7; staffed by professionals who can help you. RAINN will help you find doctors and therapist in your town.

If you are over 13 everything you tell your doctor and therapist is confidential. Not your parents, school or any one else can be told what you talk about or what you are being treated for without your written permission. This is Federal Law.

In my daughter's school there will eventually be a swimming unit coming up soon and both boys and girls have the class together. Isn' t kind of wrong to force young people to be in bathing suits in front of each other? Even if its one piece? I assumed they would be seperate. Daughter is in 8th grade by the way

You know your child better than anyone including us. If you feel mixed swim classes will be awkward or embarrassing for her then speak to the school officials about it.

An 8Th grade student is somewhere between 12 and 13 years of age. This is a socially awkward age for all children of this age boys and girls. I believe part of what the co-ed swimming classes accomplishes is to relieve some of this awkwardness while being adequately supervised by the physical education staff.

When I was your daughters age we did not have a pool in our school so we were forced to take dance classes as part of our physical education class in our gym clothes. Our gym clothes were not much different than swim suits

By removing your daughter from this class you can be making things more awkward by her absence. Of course if your daughter has asked you to have her excused from this class then this has to weigh heavily on you decision.

My advice is to allow your daughter to attend these classed and monitor her reaction. As a parent you also have a right to monitor or visit any class at any time to gauge for yourself how well the class is taught. You most certainly have a right to visit the swim class and should before making a final decision.

So my boyfriend and I have sex, with no problem. But if we try and switch positions to where i'm on top, we have to stop cause it hurts. Many people do it, but i just can't. It really does hurt. Is there a way where I can be on top, and it won't hurt, or at least tell me why it does. Please help, Thanks.

You do not say where the pain is that you feel. One Of the things my wife likes about being on top is the deeper penetration but along with this is that I bump her Uterus. A few bumps is not a problem but repeatedly bumping it is uncomfortable. This could be your problem.

If this is the only time you feel pain you may just have a sensitive uterus though I do suggest you have your gynecologist check it out as it could be signs of something else. If you have not had a PAP smear in the last 6mo then I would make a appointment with your doctor as soon as possible. Especially if this is something that is relatively a new problem.

I'm 15 and a girl my boyfriend says we been dating along time And it's true he says we should take our relationship to he next level and to him that means getting intamite I'm not sure what to do out of my friends I'm still the only virgin

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.

I found the following website, found at bottom of this page) while answering a very similar question for another young lady. I believe you should review this website before making any decision about having sex, starting with “Am I ready?”

On the subject of are you ready: all I will say is sexual intercourse is a beautiful thing between two loving responsible people. At your age sex for you as a woman is different than for the boy. You are more emotionally mature than your partner is at the same age by about 2 years. Sex for a woman must always have a loving relationship, meaning women usually do not hop in and out of bed. Where for a boy of the same age sex is more of a conquest, away to satisfy raging hormones.

The odds are against you marring the boy you give your virginity to, so be selective as to who you chose to be your first. Make sure you find someplace you can have your first sexual experience that is safe, comfortable, relaxing and that you will be undisturbed. You should be on birth control for at least 30 days and always use a condom.

As someone who is old enough to be your grandparent and I believe at 15 you are s little young to be engaging in sexual intercourse. I am sure your parents have already given you this advice and it is good advice. What I will say is there are ways of satisfying the sexual urge without having intercourse. There is masturbation, mutual masturbation, which is general apart of foreplay, BJ’s and HJ’s. These forms of sex should be adequate for now to satisfy both you and your boyfriend without running the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. Remember no birth control is 100% effective. End of lecture.
Before you make your decision review the website I have included below:

http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.

What are some fun and/or upscale restaurants in the Dallas area that my (girl)friends and I can go to for my 18th birthday?

Not knowing what you can afford makes it hard for me to offer any choices of restaurants. It would also be good to know what type of food you like.

I do have a suggestion that will help you find a restaurant, within your price range, in an area of Dallas you want to be in and one that offers reviews of the restaurant for you to judge your selection by.

Thee is a website called yelp.com. You use filter such as just Dalles or a zip code within Dallas. You can also filter by price range and type of cuisine you want. Once you have made these selections yelp will return a list of restaurants which will also contain the website of the restaurant if they have one that will allow you to look at their menu. Under each restaurant listing will be a number of review by people that have been there, both good or bad.

I have used yelp and websites like it and have found restaurants I never knew existed; from fine dining to neighborhood jewels.

I hope this helps you.

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