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What type of therapy do I need?
I'm a 16 year old girl and I'm not sure which problems are the causes of others, and etc.. so I'll just say all of them. I'm a perfectionist with extreme procrastination (its basically ruined my entire junior year so far. and i've had it for as long as i can remember but it's just getting worse), I'm afraid of success because I'm afraid of being able to sustain it... though I really want to be successful. I have big dreams but I find it hard to notice how little things affect the big picture.. I just see the big picture, and I delude myself into thinking I can get, without doing much work beforehand. I thought I had high self esteem because I was able to stand up for myself.. but I was just pushing all my problems to my subconscious.. because I now realize that I actually have low self esteem.. and I'd somehow convinced myself I'd become more confident. Also, its easy for me to ask questions in class over work but its very hard for me to ask for help in general over personal issues.. like all what I'm talking about right now. I think I'd feel a lot more comfortable with a therapist than with anyone else. Whenever people ask me if I'm okay its very hard to admit I'm not.. every day I keep saying I'm fine cause I don't want to break down in front of my parents, teachers, etc. Generally I feel like people don't care about me.. which seems silly cause I know my family does.. but i dont know I just feel neglected, and sad because I think I've missed out on a lot of childhood and teen things. I don't have anyone I could call my best friend and etc and I don't know why this gets to me so much when I tell myself that it shouldn't matter. But its hard to go on facebook and see everyone else have fun. But I think I'd be a good friend to people but idk they always let me down.. but at the same time I think its also my fault cause I always underestimate the strength of my friendships with others.. its just.. ugh. I just wish I could have better relationships with people.. I mean even my relationships with people on the internet is a lot better. Like everyday these problems are on my mind and its driving me crazy cause I don't know how to stop and the work keeps piling on and all these bad habits have just gotten a lot worse... but it's just so hard to tell people this.. I tell them I don't need help when I know I need it.
I'm also socially awkward (due to my lack of much social experience due to not having much close friends) and tend to eat my feelings (even though I want to lose weight). I always feel burdened by a lot of regrets because I say I want to do a lot of things but I just don't do them and its annoying because I blame myself.. as I'm the only one who can change me, but why cant I get myself to do it? what the hell is wrong.. like I cant even control my own actions? why am I so lazy like this?
I'm looking for therapists on this website: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
But I don't know what criteria I should be looking for in a therapist.. in terms of what I'd label my problems as, in the drop down menu. Should I email or call the therapist, too? And what exactly do I say? Do I summarize the mess I wrote here (Idk how to though) or what? Should I talk to them first or ask my parents to talk with them first, too?
Thanks so much, you don't even know
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
It is hard to say what is really bothering you. Even i could it wouldn't be proper to diagnose anyone over the web and none of us on this website would do so.
There are a lot of pressures put on teenagers today. The pressure to get good grades so you can get into a good college. The pressure to start acting more like an adult than a child. You are going through puberty and have all these hormones racing through your body. Your body is changing. For girls it is a lot worse for her body is changing and on top of all the other teenage problems she has to learn how to fend of boys.
Just typing that paragraph caused me to get a little depressed, you are living the paragraph. Self-diagnosis is not going to work, neither is trying to find a therapist by searching the web. Start by seeing your family doctor.
You can visit your family doctor in total confidence as nothing you tell your doctor can be told to you parents as you are over 13 years old, that is the law. Congress passed a law called HIPPA which, in brief says, if over 13 a doctor must have written permission from you to release a ca information to anyone including your parents. The exception is if you are unable to care for yourself such as being unconscious. Failure to adhere can pt the doctor in jail for up to 5 years.
So as I said start with your family doctor. Tell him/her just what is going on in your life and how you feel. You may be referred to another doctor for treatment and medication or your doctor will prescribe some medication. Either way you will be given the names of therapists to talk to. It is important to be comfortable with your therapist so interview them and make sure you are comfortable talking with them before you start therapy. I would suggest you look for a female therapist as I feel you will be more comfortable with a female.
The therapist may want to speak with your parent(s) after your therapy visits. This is not to tell them what went on in your therapy session as the therapist falls under the same law as the doctor. The therapist will want to discuss with your parents ways they can help you at home between visits.
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I'm 16 too and with the majority of your problems, I can really relate. I know you find it difficult to ask people for help but the first thing you have to do is let your friends and parents know how you feel. Because then they can get some help for you. You don't have to tell them everything you wrote here out loud, but you could print this off and just sit them down and be like, I really need to talk to you about some stuff thats going onm hand them this piece of paper with all of this on it. They will understand and try and get you some help. I'm not really a therapist but as for perfectionism and procrastination you just got to think if i keep putting off these tasks Im going to feel really depressed, you know? I mean would you raher feel on top because you've done something or feel like comfort eating because your depressed at yet another thing you put off and it got you into crap. You have to change all priorities and want to change. You can just expect these things to happen. Give yourself this life you waint to aim for, you want to be confident and have high self esteem, get everything done on time etc etc. So do it. Just do it, if you don't then you can never be this happy person you want to be. In life there are so many things that cross our paths and so many bridges we have to overcome and if we cant pick ourselves up now it will be really difficult later in life. Your best bet is to show this to your parents and tell them that you think therapy is best for you to help you overcome your problems. They'll be more than happy to help, when you get to the therapist youll begin to explain your issues and then they can go on to refer you to different people if they feel that it will be best for you. I really hope this helps and if you feel the need to inbox me for some more help please do not hesitate to ask because this is what this site was made for! Hope this helps!!xx
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